


With Healing Powers

by harry_styleswho



Series: whp universe [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Medical, Alternate Universe - No One Direction, F/M, Kid Fic, Medical Conditions, Medical Procedures, Medical Trauma, Minor Character Death, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Single Parent Harry Styles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:01:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 97,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23571253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harry_styleswho/pseuds/harry_styleswho
Summary: Althea Grace is a first year resident at London Grace Hospital in pediatric. Harry Styles is an unexpected single father of an infant born two months premature. When their paths cross, Althea Grace finds herself truly living up to the meaning of her name: with healing powers. A story about painful heartbreak, devastating hope, and the power of late night chats in a hospital cafeteria.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Original Female Character(s)
Series: whp universe [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1698772
Kudos: 15





	1. when thea meets harry

Althea Grace was having a no good, very bad day before she met _him_.

And it all started with an appendicitis.

“Thea! I need you to take the patient in room seven,” Dr. Avery, the attending surgeon in pediatrics, said as she walked passed Thea and the front desk, handing off the chart. “She’s seven years old, high fever, and complaining about pain in her side.”

Thea nodded, eyes dancing across the chart. “Appendicitis?”

“That’s what I’m guessing.” Dr. Avery bobbed her head from side to side. “But just go make sure and book an O.R., yeah? I’ve got to consult Dr. Payne about a baby’s heart.”

And then she was off, jogging down the hall towards the elevator, but not before turning towards Thea and smiling.

“Do this right, and I might let you scrub in!”

You see, Thea Grace was a first year resident in pediatrics at London Grace Hospital. She had finally made it to the big leagues. She made it through medical school, got passed her internship, and now she was a surgeon. Well, she was almost a surgeon. She was a resident surgeon, training _with_ the big leagues—attending surgeons. But she was doing what she loved, healing the sick and saving lives.

And she loved every second of it.

Her eyes were trained on the seven year old girl’s chart, only drifting up for a brief second as she passed by the NICU. Though with the brief second, her eyes found _him_. He was alone, dressed in scrubs as if he just came out of a cesarean section birth. His hair was wrapped in one of the hospital’s head wraps, and the only thing that he took off were the gloves. She supposed it was to be able to touch the small infant in the incubator. The infant was thoroughly strapped up, heart monitor displaying a slow heart rate. With just one look, Thea knew he couldn’t have been twenty-eight weeks when he was born. Seven months. In medical terms, he stood no chance against the world.

An infant born at twenty-eight week had every statistic standing against them. They couldn’t breath on their own, and that was evident by the breathing tube strapped under the little guy’s nose. Babies at this age weren’t mature enough to be able to swallow, suck, and breathe at the same time, so a feeding tube was placed at his mouth, leading straight to his stomach. He didn’t make a sound or move, the only movement was his chest as he inhaled and exhaled with the help of his breathing tube, though he did grasp onto the man’s finger—his whole fist encompassing that one forefinger. His skin had a red-purplish tint to it, and the veins beneath his skin were clearly visible. He was thin, much too thin for an infant, and he was small—so, so _small_. Thea guessed he couldn’t be more than three pounds, max.

Thea had heard about these two when she came to the hospital this morning. They had been admitted thirty-six hours earlier, but there was three of them instead of two. The mother was having premature contractions, though since she was so early, the doctors ordered an emergency cesarean and prepped her for surgery. She delivered a few short hours later, and that little boy came into the world. He was born with a heart murmur, and he was admitted into surgery immediately.

After his procedure, they took him to the NICU where he was now. But there was only one parent waiting for him. The mother had ran off, and Thea wasn’t versed on the specifics, but she figured it wasn’t too good. Either way, the woman abandoned the both of them.

She was transfixed on this infant and his father, though she wasn’t so sure why. Perhaps it was they way he stood alone over his son, gripping onto the baby’s fist as if that one touch could save him. Or maybe it was how fragile the baby looked. Thea wanted to care for him, heal him, make him better. But really, she knew it was because when the man looked up at her through the glass, green eyes shining with a rim of red around them and looking impossibly sad and broken, there was hope in the depths of his eyes. He had hope.

“Dr. Grace.” An intern ran over to her, gripping her arm and tearing her gaze from the green eyed man and his son. “There’s a problem.”

* * *

Thea Grace was not scrubbing into any surgery anytime soon.

The seven year old girl did have an appendicitis, and it ruptured, leaving the young girl to be prepped for an emergency surgery. She was crying as they wheeled her away, her mother trailing behind her until the doctors told her she couldn’t go any further. The mother’s face crumbled when they said that, and the little girl cried out. 

Thea could only stand and watch, walking over to the woman and leading her away from the scene. The mother was crying, and Thea was attempting to calm her in any way she could. But in the end, there wasn’t much she _could_ do, so she left her alone.

“Grace!”

Thea flinched with the sound of her name spoken that way. It was Dr. Avery, and she was angry. She only ever called Thea by her first name, or Dr. Grace in the presence of patients, calling Thea by her last name meant bad news.

She wished she could shrink farther behind the nurses’ desk, but she knew she had to face the music.

“What happened?” Dr. Avery barked when she made it close enough to Thea. “I thought I told you to check on the girl.”

Thea’s eye flashed down the hall towards the green eyed man with the premature infant before finding Dr. Avery’s eyes. They were blazing, and for the first time since she was an intern, Thea Grace really regretted deciding to become a doctor. But the feeling was only there for a millisecond before it vanished. Thea Grace was born to save lives. It was all in her name, really. Althea: with healing powers. She was born to heal. If she was a Greek god, she was pretty sure she’d be like Apollo, or at the very least, a child of Apollo. At least, that was what her mother always told her growing up.

“I, uh, I got distracted?” She phrased the sentence like a question, and with the increased blaze in Avery’s eyes, she knew it was the wrong thing to say.

Dr. Avery snorted. “You got distracted?”

A nurse scurried behind the desk with a handful of charts. Thea flashed her a look that said _run!_ , and the nurse took one look at Dr. Avery before darting off, leaving the charts long forgotten.

“Dr. Avery, I’m—” Thea was cut off with a flurry of white coats running down the hall. In a hospital, that sight wasn’t abnormal, but when Thea saw them rush into the room where the man and his baby were, she began making her way towards them.

Dr. Avery was well ahead of her, sprinting towards the NICU. She shoved her way through group of nurses and interns, and at the end of the tunnel stood the green eyed man, still dressed in scrubs from the prior surgery. Three nurses stood over the infant as Dr. Avery made her way through. The heart monitor screamed in a way that caused panic to settle everywhere in Thea’s bones.

“I- I don’t what happened.” The man gasped out, and Thea noticed his face was completely dry, but there was a look in his eyes that made her heart constrict. “He was sleeping, and he started choking like he was trying to cough up something. He turned blue, and—”

“Mr. Styles.” Avery interrupted him calmly. His eyes were wide, and he was shaking, gaze darting between her and his son. “Everything’s going to be all right.” She turned to the swarm of nurses, shoving her way to the infant. “I need suction quickly. His lungs are congested.”

Thea could only watch as Dr. Avery brought the color back to the blue tinted infant. The nurses hustled around her, and Thea was frozen. She wanted to help, but she didn’t know how. The green eyed man was pacing behind the action, chewing on his thumb nail. Momentarily, Thea thought about comforting him, but she quickly pushed that thought away.

After what felt like years, the baby’s color returned to the sickly red-purplish rather than the deathly blue. Thea sighed out in relief.

Avery stepped back from the infant, and the green eyed man was soon standing at his baby’s side. There was a new tube sticking out of his mouth, not longer for feeding but to keep the congestion from his lungs. There was an IV sticking in his arm for feeding, and Thea could feel her heart fall at the sight. He was so young, yet he was destined to a tragic life already.

“He needs to be a permanent rotation,” Dr. Avery said to the head pediatrics nurse. “Be sure to check the feeding tube and the suction. Page me if anything happens. Keep me updated every thirty minutes.”

The nurse nodded before scurrying off. Though Thea couldn’t blame her, she had been on the receiving end of that glare just a few moments prior, and she had wanted to scurry away too.

When Thea looked up, green eyes were on hers, and she felt her breath stutter a bit. He had taken off his scrubs and head wrap. His hair was long and pulled up in a top knot. For a split second, Thea wondered how he learned to pull his hair up in a bun. The thought of him looking at YouTube videos made her want to giggle, but she restrained herself. The man’s eyes were still sad as he stood next to his son, but there was that flicker of hope that she saw before. He still had hope.

“Dr. Grace!”

Thea whirled around, eyes wide. Dr. Avery was standing at the door. Thea hustled towards her before walking out the door. It was silent as they made their way back to the nurses’ station, and Thea’s eyes drifted to the chart tucked under Avery’s arm several times. As they happened upon the desk, she watched as Avery placed the chart on the desk’s surface. When she opened it, the flap was positioned to block Thea’s view from the actual chart.

“Who was that? The man and the baby?” She didn’t mean for her voice to be so imploring, and she winced with the sound of it. Avery spared her a small glance.

“That’s none of your—”

“Please.”

Dr. Avery sighed heavily, eyes flickering towards the NICU. “That’s Harry Styles and his son Cayden Styles.”

For some reason, Thea felt a little relieved to have a name to associate with the green eyes.

“Can I see Cayden’s chart?” She wasn’t so sure why she cared so much, and Dr. Avery offered her an odd look, hesitating, before handing over the chart she was examining.

 _Well_ , Thea thought, _at least she doesn’t look like she wants to ring my neck anymore._

When Thea looked through the chart Avery gave her, and she felt her heart sink. “He has VSD?”

Dr. Avery nodded solemnly.

“Does the father know?”

“He does,” she said slowly, “but I’m not so sure he understands the severity of it all.”

_The severity of it all._

This baby was born with a heart murmur, and while that is typical for an infant born so early, VSD was not. It stood for ventricular septal defect, and it was a type of a congenital heart defect found with abnormal heart murmurs. To put it simply, there was a hole in the baby’s heart, and it caused extra blood to be pumped into his lungs by the right ventricle—hence the congestion in his lungs.

“What are Cayden’s options?” Thea handed off the chart to Dr. Avery. “Transplant?”

Avery released a heavy breath as she shut the chart. “He’s so young. I’m not sure we’ll be able to find a match for him.”

“What other choice does he have?”

Dr. Avery didn’t answer, but she looked so stoic and solemn that Thea feared the answer. A part of her was glad Avery hadn’t said anything. The other part felt her stomach drop, because she already _knew_ the answer.

None. Cayden had no other choice.

Thea’s lips parted, though before she had the chance to speak, Dr. Avery’s pager was going off, and she was needed in an O.R. She began to walk backwards, sizing up Thea as she went.

“You’ve got one more chance, Grace.” Thea’s face brightened. “Screw up again, and you’re off my rotation.”

* * *

Thea was poking at her salad with her fork when Liam took a seat across from her.

“Scrubbed in on two surgeries, and I even led one of them,” he said as he slid his tray in front of him. “Saved the man’s life, how’s your day been?”

Thea’s eyes flicked up to him. “Ruptured a girl’s appendix then saw a two month premature baby get his lungs sucked at, so I’m going to go with not good.”

“Huh.” Liam raised a single eyebrow. “Well, looks like you’ll probably be needing a drink tonight.”

Thea simply nodded her head miserably.

“And I heard about that baby, abnormal heart murmur, VSD, his mum abandoned him.” Liam shook his head. “That’s rough.”

Thea stabbed at a lettuce leaf. “Is that what Avery was talking to you about this morning? The baby’s heart?”

“What’s your interest in this baby?” He tilted his head to the side.

The truth was, Thea wasn’t so sure why she was so interested in this baby. Apart from the fact that she was a caring human being and the baby was _so_ small, she wasn’t very sure. But then those green eyes flashed into her head. The eyes filled with so much sorrow that it physically hurt her. But they were also the eyes that were filled with hope, and she’d hate for that hope to diminish. For a split second, she wondered if Cayden had inherited those green eyes, and she thought about how much of shame it would be if he hadn’t.

“He’s in the neonatal unit,” she said in a tone that screamed duh. “He was born two months early, and I happen to be a pediatric surgeon, why wouldn’t I be interested?”

Liam shrugged as he popped a fry in his mouth, chewing obnoxiously. “Just seems like you’re paying more attention to him than you would any other infant.”

“We haven’t had many infants born _this_ prematurely,” she pointed out, raising her eyebrows.

“Touché.”

Niall plopped down in the seat beside Thea before she had a chance to say another word. He huffed loudly, and Thea turned to glare at him when his tray hit the table with a _slam_.

“I’ve been cleaning out bedpans all _fucking_ day,” he hissed, not even bothering to touch his food. “It’s been vile.”

Thea shrugged. “Seems like your day has been pretty much up to par with mine.”

“Maybe I should have gone for the surgeon gig like you guys did. Being a nurse sometimes sucks.” Niall completely ignored her, picking up his pizza.

“Well,” Liam spoke up, pointing his fork at both Niall and Thea. “You, my friends, are rays of sunshine.”

“Bleh!” Niall spat out the bite of pizza onto his tray. “Great, nothing better than a piece of cardboard on this lovely day.”

Liam and Thea stared at him.

“What?” He furrowed his brows, raising his palms in the air. “Why are you looking at me like that? It’s not like you lot made the pizza.”

Thea raised her eyebrows, looking at Niall in slight disgust. “Please tell you washed your hands.”

Liam burst out in laughter as Niall sat there, examining his hands, and that was highlight of Thea’s day thus far. Even if the pizza did, in fact, taste like cardboard.

* * *

“I need you to stay tonight.”

Thea was updating a nine year old boy’s chart, and she was feeling quite elated. The boy was having chronic bowel pains, but she had found the cause of the issue, and with a few prescriptions, he would be on his way home tomorrow morning. Though, the elation she felt soon vacated when Avery happened upon her, looking much too serious.

“But I—”

“—will do anything to get back on my good graces,” Avery interrupted, giving Thea a look that said _I dare you to challenge me._ Thea didn’t take up that dare.

Slipping the chart in its place outside the boy’s room, she nodded slowly. “I’d be happy to, Dr. Avery.”

Avery nodded her head as she narrowed her eyes at Thea, as if daring her to retract her acceptance. Though, Thea had never been much of a gambler. And with one more nod of the head, Dr. Avery was off, and Thea didn’t see her for the rest of the night.

Nights in the pediatrics wing weren’t ever too crazy. All the kids typically fell asleep early on in the evening, some woke with a fright, others wandered out of their rooms in pain crying for their mothers, but for the most time, Thea found peace in nights at the hospital. And with a quick text sent to Liam, informing him she couldn’t make drinks tonight (the reply was “boo” with an obscene amount of “o’s” and a crying face emoji), she didn’t really mind sitting back and catching up on her paperwork.

Though the peace and quiet only lasted so long before she heard a muted crash around two in the morning, followed by a few choice expletives.

Thea jumped from her seat, slipping her lab coat on as she walked towards the NICU. There was another crash, but this time, it was significantly _louder_ , and Thea didn’t know if it was because the sound was actually louder or because she was closer to the source.

“Shit,” a deep voice hissed. A small cry pierced the air, and the owner of the previous voice gasped. “I’m sorry, bud. Please go back to sleep, little man. You’re all right.”

The cry didn’t falter, and Thea made herself known in the room, clearing her throat and meeting a set of green eyes. They were widened in panic, a look of pleading resonated in them. There was food scattered about the floor, empty containers shrewn, which told Thea the source of the crashing and banging.

“Help me, please,” the man, Harry Styles, pleaded. “I can never get him to stop crying once he starts.” There was a hint of disappointment in his tone.

Thea put her professional face on, smiling reassuringly before moving towards Harry and his son. “I’m Dr. Grace. Everything’s going to be all right.”

Harry nodded, taking a step back, but his gaze never left his son.

Since there was congestion in his lungs, Cayden’s cries were short and shallow, though they sounded just as heartbreaking (if not, more) as any other newborn’s cry would. And the heartbreak was written all over Harry’s face.

“Hey,” Thea whispered down gently. Cayden blinked once before another piercing, short-lived cry sounded. Gently, she reached her finger into his incubator, rubbing across his hand. His cries stuttered, so she pressed further onto his hand, stroking lightly. “You’re okay, little one. Everything’s okay, yeah?”

The cries stopped, and Cayden squinted his eyes up at the doctor before they fluttered closed. Born so prematurely, he could only have his eyes opened for so long, and when they were open, they were nothing more than a squint. His chest moved rhythmically, and when Thea knew he was in a deep enough sleep, she removed her hand.

“H-How did you do that?”

Relief washed over Harry’s face as his eyes flickered between Thea and his son. Though there was a flicker of sadness still present in his eyes, and the sight made Thea’s heart hurt. She was a doctor. She healed people, and sometimes, she even wished she could heal emotions. Sadness.

“The congestion in his lungs startles him from sleep sometimes,” she informed, speaking gently. “He just needs to be comforted, is all.”

Harry nodded, taking a few steps forwards until he and Thea had switched places, his hand resting on the incubator as his eyes watched the rise and fall of Cayden’s chest. There was a glisten in his eyes, and he blinked a few times.

“Is he—” he paused, clearing his throat after his voice cracked. His eyes didn’t dare trail from the rise and fall of his son’s chest. As if committing the movements to memory. “Is he in pain?”  
  
Thea sighed as she felt a swooping feeling in her chest. This all was just so… _unfair_. So viciously unfair to all the contributing factors.  
  
“He has trouble breathing sometimes, but the breathing tube helps.” She saw Harry’s chest rise sharply with a gasp of breath, and she hesitated briefly before continuing. “The congestion in his lungs is helped by the suction. It startles him more than anything. There’s a bit of gas pains because he is so colicky, but that’s fairly typical. Overall, he’s doing okay,” she paused, deciding how to properly phrase her next words, “for someone in his situation.”  
  
Solemnly, Harry nodded. He still hadn’t looked away from Cayden, though Thea didn’t mind. She supposed if she were in his shoes, she wouldn’t want her eyes to leave her terminally ill premature baby either.

“This VSD,” he continued, and Thea closed her eyes briefly, wishing she wasn’t the one on the receiving end of this conversation, “how fatal is it for him?”

“We’re doing everything we—”

Harry’s head whipped around to face her. “That’s not what I asked.” He faltered, squeezed his eyes shut as he bowed his head. “Please, just tell me if my son is going to live or not.”

Thea took a deep, steadying breath. “If we can find a heart match, then he’ll be just fine. If not, he’ll…”

“Die.”

“Yeah.”

There was a brief pause before Harry muttered, “Right.”

He looked down to Cayden, slipping his finger through the hole in the incubator and gently stroking his skin. The touch was languid, as if he was savoring the touch of his baby’s skin. Etching it into his brain permanently. Thea was starting to feel as if she were intruding before Harry nodded determinedly, turning to face her with a look that she never expected to see on someone in his situation. Hope.

“He’ll make it,” he said with such conviction, Thea wholeheartedly believed him. “His name is Cayden, after all. Fighter. He’ll make it.”

And just like that, the highlight of her day wasn’t the cardboard pizza at all. It was the man that stood before her. A man who was living with his life on strings. Endless amounts of uncertainty. It was a man who was suffering, but he still seemed as if everything was all right. He had hope. He was sure everything would be okay. That his son would come home with him. And just like that, Harry Styles became the highlight of her day. A man with a life full of strings and uncertainty but still managed to hold an endless amount of hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come say hi to me on tumbr @harry-styleswho. tpwk xx


	2. when harry tells all

Only now, in Thea’s life, was she starting to get used to people actually _caring_. Growing up, emotions were seen as something taboo. You learned to control them at a young age, and Thea often struggled doing so. She cared _so_ much, but she always felt ashamed to voice it. When her roommate of nearly five years, at the time, first told Thea she loved her, Thea felt as if she was getting kicked in the gut. She thought it was some sort of joke. Love? Surely not. Nobody really loved her, Thea was certain of that. As sure of that as she was that a cystectomy was the excision of the bladder - and she was _very_ sure of that.

Eventually, Thea grasped onto the fact that people in this world actually cared about her, and not only did they care, but they cared _deeply_. And she finally had people to share the taboo sense of emotion with that she held within her. To be quite honest, Thea thought it to be exhilarating. But it was still something she was getting used to, so when Mason—her roommate—walked into their flat, asking what she was researching, it took Thea a second to gauge whether she was genuinely interested or not.

Thea sat on their couch, with her Macbook laid across her lap and a few stray textbooks shrewn about. Mason patiently waited for the answer to her question, knowing the struggles Thea went through on a day to day.

“Uh.” Thea’s eyes trailed across the screen of her laptop where a site called _‘VSD: What’s True and What’s Not’_ stood front and center. Many of her textbooks’ pages were opened to passages that read similar titles. “Just brushing up a bit on this. Haven’t really thought about it since medical school.”

Mason nodded, leaning down from her seat on the arm of the chair. “Uh huh. What’s VSD?”

“Ventricular septal defect.”

“Uh huh,” Mason repeated, “again in English, please?”

Thea’s lips tipped up in a smile. “It’s a heart defect where there’s hole in someone’s heart that obviously isn’t supposed to be there, and it causes extra blood to be pumped into the lungs that causes congestion.”

“Sounds brutal.” She winced, eyebrows drawing together, “but can I ask what your interest in this certain heart defect is?”

“I told you, I haven’t really brushed up on it since medical school. I don’t want to get behind now, do I?”

“So, it has nothing to do with a certain premature infant and his very attractive father?”

Thea’s head whipped around to face Mason, mouth gaping and eyebrows cinched together. “How did you—”

“Liam.”

“Right,” Thea grumbled, shutting her laptop and shoving it to the side. Mason slid in beside Thea on the couch, throwing her arm around her roommate. “It really does not work in my favor that you’re dating my coworker slash friend.”

Mason shrugged nonchalantly. “You introduced us.”

“And you two have become the bane of my existence ever since.”

“You wound me.”

Thea shrugged. “You’ll get over it.”

“So.” Mason repositioned herself so that her head was draped across Thea’s shoulder. “What did you find out about VSD?”

Thea rested her head on top of Mason’s. This was also something she had grown to get used to. Physical displays of affection. That was certainly something that was few and far between when she was growing up. Having a cuddler as a best friend and roommate certainly proved to be difficult, but Thea soon adjusted, and she would even consider herself just as much of a cuddler as Mason (well, maybe not. Mason was _hugely_ big on cuddling, but Thea was definitely a close second).

“From what I read, it’s a pretty common heart defect, but what’s not common is the fact that Cayden is already showing symptoms.”

Mason fidgeted, jostling Thea. “What do you mean?”

“He shouldn’t be displaying symptoms of the defect until weeks after he’s born,” Thea explained, sighing in between every couple of words. “Which makes me think his case a little bit more extreme than all the common ones.”

“How much more extreme could it get? The poor kid’s got a hole in his heart.”

“I know.”

Mason sighed, and the exhale of breath rustled her roommate’s hair. “Bless his heart. Literally.”

“Tell me about it.” Thea paused, heart aching as she thought of the small baby in the NICU right now and his distraught father. “Not only is he sick, but his mother abandoned him before he even had the chance to know her.”

“What?” Mason jerked away, inadvertently smashing their foreheads together with her movements.

“Ow!” Thea’s hand clamped onto her forehead. “Jesus, Mase! What was that for?”

“Oh, quit being a baby.” She rolled her eyes, but by the red mark surfacing on her forehead, Thea was sure Mason felt the same amount of throbbing as she did.

“That really hurt,” Thea whimpered, now rubbing her forehead.

“Whatever, rewind now, please. Child abandonment, remember?”

Reluctantly, Thea removed her hand from her forehead, hissing. “What about it? I’m sure Liam told you that part of it.”

“He didn’t!”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, _oh_.” Mason glared. “Now, please explain.”

“Well, I’m not really versed on the details of it all,” Thea warned. “All I know is that after he was born, Cayden was admitted into emergency surgery, and when he came back, his mum wasn’t there anymore.”

Mason clamped a hand over her mouth, nearly stifling a whimper.

“I’m going to go out on a limb here and say this is probably why Liam didn’t tell you.”

“I’ll beat that woman to a bloody pulp if I ever seen her!”

“Or.” Thea raised one eyebrow, “that’s probably why Liam didn’t tell you.”

“Honestly!” Mason completely ignored Thea. “How could you just abandon your baby? Your _sick_ baby, at that! How?”

Thea shrugged. “She was probably just scared.”

Mason shot Thea a deathly glare.

“I’m not condoning what she did!” Thea held her palms out. “All I’m saying is maybe she isn’t all terrible.”

“Oh, she is.”

“Well, as long as you’re not judging her.”

Mason scoffed. “Oh, I’m judging her.”

“Sarcasm, Mase.”

“Right.” She grinned sheepishly.

Thea shook her head, chuckling before sinking into the couch and flicking on the television. It took them ages to decide what to watch, but finally, they settled on an old episode of _Friends_ on Netflix.

They both sunk lowly into the couch, heads resting on the lower part of the couch’s back. Thea had grabbed the blanket on the back of the couch and draped across the both of their laps. It was quiet for awhile, the only sounds drifting through the flat were the episode. They were half way through said episode when Thea decided to break the quietness.

“You know,” she whispered, feeling the need to keep her voice low. “I think that just because Cayden doesn’t really have a mum doesn’t mean he’s in for the worst.”

Mason’s eyes left the screen to flicker towards Thea. “And why’s that?”

“Because he’s still got his dad, and from what I’ve seen, his dad is an amazing man.”

Mason didn’t say anything after that. She simply smirked, turning towards the television to finish out the episode. Thea wasn’t so sure how she felt about the fact that the smirk remained until the very end of the show.

* * *

“All right, Sarah, now can you sing for me? Say ‘ahh’ in your best singing voice.”

The little girl giggled before doing as Thea told, singing out _ah_ and allowing Thea to slide in the tongue depressor in her mouth. Sarah sat on her hospital bed, swinging her legs happily as her mum sat in her corner, observing peacefully.

“Very good, lovely,” Thea cooed, smiling softly. “You’ve got the most amazing singing voice, did you know that?”

Sarah sang out even more, and it offered Thea time to shine the medical flashlight in her mouth. Thea examined for only a moment before drawing back, smiling.

“I’m very proud of you, Sarah. You’ve done so well today.”

Sarah beamed, and her mother stood for her chair moving around the bed and happening upon Thea and her daughter.

“How’s everything looking?” She asked as she drew Sarah into her arms.

Thea smiled, taking a minuscule step back and offering them privacy. “The surgery was a success. Dr. Avery took pristine care of the vocal nodules, but now, it’s time for the recovery process.” Sarah’s mum nodded thoughtfully as Thea went on. “Vocal therapy will definitely be needed, and Sarah needs to refrain from talking loudly or at all for the next week or so. At least, until it’s not as tender. And after that, she can’t put too much strain on her voice anymore, or they’ll only come back.”

Thea’s eyes flashed towards Sarah to see her lulling to sleep on her mother’s shoulder, and Thea’s heart thumped warmly.

“As of now, your daughter is recovering marvelously. She’ll be discharged by the end of the week.”

The news brightened the mum’s expression as she peeked down towards her snoozing daughter, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

When she looked back at Thea, there was an esteemed amount of respect glistening in her eyes, and Thea felt her throat choke up at the sight of it. “Thank you, Dr. Grace.”

Thea wasn’t granted enough time to respond because in the next second, a frantic voice was heard behind her, and when she turned around, green eyes were staring at her.

“Dr. Grace, Dr. Grace.”

Harry Styles frantically came barreling into the room, nearly ramming into Thea, herself. His expression was panicked, and it set chills in her very bones.

“Hey, woah, Mr. Styles.” She puts her hands out to steady him, grabbing his shoulders as he came to a halt. Though, as if the touch had burned her, she quickly removed her hands, setting them down to her sides. “What seems to be the problem?”

“C-Cayden. He’s breathing really weirdly, and I don’t know what to do.”

Thea was out of the room before she even had a chance to think about, and she was sprinting towards the other end of the floor, away from recovery and towards the NICU. Harry was on her heels, and when they both happened into the NICU, there was a rasped wheezing sound that set terror inside of Thea.

Immediately, Thea is at Cayden’s side, pressing a stethoscope to his chest, his heart rate coming out lower than normal. His chest was moving slowly, and with his breath, his face contorted into what looked to be pain, as if he would be crying out if he had the breath to do so.

“Harry,” a woman’s voice panicked sounded, and Thea’s heart stopped. “What’s going on?”

 _She’s back_ , was all Thea could think, _Cayden’s mum is back_. And where it should have caused relief, all it did was a set an unbearable amount of dread in her body.

But the dread soon vanished when she turned around and saw a woman only a few years older than herself, looking at her with the same eyes Harry was. Sister.

“When did this start?” Thea didn’t give Harry a chance to answer his sister.

“I-I’m not sure. I was reading, and I thought he was being awfully quiet. Lately, he gurgles and coos a little bit. And then I heard the wheezing.”

His sister placed an arm around Harry’s shoulder, though there were no tears to be found in his eyes, and Thea wondered if Harry had shed a tear since Cayden was born.

“I’m paging Dr. Avery.”

Harry only nodded, eyes fixated on his son as Thea made her way to him. As she walked passed, she placed a hand on Harry’s shoulder, squeezing reassuringly. Her heart stuttered when his eyes left Cayden to find hers, and she could have sworn there was an glisten of tears there, but it was gone before she could think twice about it.

Tears or no tears, the look on his face expressed all the heartache he was feeling.

* * *

Cayden Styles was admitted into emergency surgery with Avery and Liam operating at his side.

When Dr. Avery told Harry Cayden was going to need surgery, his face crumpled and his weight fell into his sister as he mumbled in the most dejected tone, “he’s not even a month old, and he’s already been operated on twice.”

Thea could easily label that as the most heartbreaking moment she had ever witnessed, and she was a pediatrics surgeon.

That is, until she scrubbed into Cayden’s surgery.

There was something methodical about an O.R., Thea came to find in her first few weeks of her internship. The clanks of the scalpel and the beeps of the heart monitor. She enjoyed watching the precision in experienced doctors save lives. It was something she thrived off of. And often times, the O.R. calmed her. She was rarely nervous in the confines of one, whether she was simply observing or scrubbing in. A lot of people said she was like her mother in that regard, much to her dismay. But as Thea stood next to the operating table, Cayden’s body taking up a fraction of its size, she could feel her heart beating erratically, stomach dropping every time his vitals dropped only slightly.

“Fuck,” Liam hissed, and Thea’s head snapped towards him at the sound, heart beating frantically.

“What?” She demanded. “What’s wrong?”

She was only observing, after begging Avery to allow her into the O.R., Avery finally caved, but made it abundantly clear she would not be operating in any way. Thea didn’t really care. She only wanted to be there for Cayden and be the observing eye that Harry couldn’t be.

Liam hissed again, and Thea was about ready to throttle him if Cayden’s very tiny, very fragile body wasn’t standing in the way.

“Tell me what the fuck is going on, Payne,” she hissed menacingly.

Avery clucked her tongue disapprovingly. “Language, Dr. Grace.”

“Please, someone tell me what’s wrong.”

Liam sighed heavily, the breath rustling the face mask covering his mouth. “We found another one. Another hole.”

“What?” Thea breathed out. Suddenly, she felt dizzy, as if the weight of the world was pressing down on her. Then she thought of Harry’s distraught face, and the whole world collapsed. “Where?”

“Look,” Liam instructed, “right below the hole between the lower chambers, see.”

Thea tried, but she couldn’t see a thing. “Was that always there? How come we didn’t see?”

He shrugged, and Thea wanted to punch him for being so nonchalant. “I don’t know.”

Thea’s eyes flicked to Dr. Avery, and there was a furrow set between her brows that Thea did not like.

“What does this mean for Cayden?”

“It means.” Avery paused for a moment as her eyes stayed locked on the infant on her operating table, “It means we’re going to patch this hole up as well as we can, and then we’ll go from there. The other hole is growing size, so we’ll try to diminish the growth as best we can.”

“And what about H—” Thea cleared her throat. “Uh, Mr. Styles? What about him?”

Avery turned to look at Thea for the first time since they scrubbed in, offering her an odd look before returning her attention to Cayden.

“Go update Mr. Styles. We’ll have Cayden out in NICU soon.”

Thea only nodded, turning towards the exit, though as she was leaving she heard Liam mumble, “We need to find a heart for this one fast, Dr. Avery.” And Avery’s dismal sound of agreement.

Thea’s world crumbled even more.

* * *

Thea practiced what she was going to say to Harry the entire walk back to NICU. She was pretty sure she startled a few doctors and patients alike as she muttered to herself, but that was besides the point.

Anyways, she was fairly certain she had her speech down, but it all vanished from her head when she happened upon the NICU and heard Harry’s voice.

“I- I can’t save him, Gem. I can’t save him.” His voice was so desolate that Thea felt her heart physically ache at the sound.

She was hidden from view, but close enough to see the two siblings sitting together next to Cayden’s empty incubator. There was the unmistakeable glisten of tears on Harry’s cheeks, and it felt as if someone had punched Thea in the gut. She couldn’t save them. Right now, she couldn’t save either of them, and she had never felt so useless in her life.

“Oh, Harry,” his sister spoke softly, sighing, “you being here for him is savior enough. You’re his father, and you’re his everything. Don’t forget that.”

“But that’s not enough.” Harry shook his head miserably. A loud sniffle resonated through the room, and his sister threw an arm around his shoulders, bringing his head into the crook of her neck. “He’s _dying_ , Gemma. My son is dying, and I can’t do anything about it.”

“Hey, shh.” Was all Gemma could say, raking her fingers through his loose curls. “Everything’s going to be okay, little brother.”

Thea wonder if Gemma understood the extent of what she was promising.

Before they could pick up their conversation again, Thea slipped into the room, clearing her throat gently. She was still in her operating scrubs, but she removed the face mask and gloves.

With the sound of her entrance, Harry sprung away from his sister, quickly wiping away all evidence of his sorrows. Gemma offered Thea a small smile, but Thea could see the tears gathered in her eyes as well. Thea understood though. She rarely allowed anyone to cry alone either.

“I’m sorry to interrupt,” she spoke softly, but Harry shook his head.

“It’s all right.” His voice was rough. “How’s Cayden?”

Thea sighed, and she assumed Harry could tell there was something wrong from the look on her face because he slowly stood up, eyeing her warily.

“What happened?”

Thea wrung the gloves and face mask in her hands. “We found the source of the issue, though there were a few complications.”

Harry’s face blanched. “Complications? What complications? Is my son okay?”

“He’s fine.” Thea assured, but she hoped Harry meant fine in the most loose connotation. “But we did find another hole in his heart, right below the hole between the lower chambers.”

“Is that new, or did you lot overlook that?”

“We believe it’s a new development, because the other hole is growing in size.”

“Jesus,” Harry hissed in a whisper, slowly sinking in his chair.

“What does this mean for Cayden?” Gemma spoke up when it was clear her brother wouldn’t.

“Temporarily, we have patched up the new hole, and we have done our best to diminish the original one’s growth in size.”

“Okay.” Harry nodded slowly, frowning, “and the permanent call of action?”

Thea sighed heavily. “We’re going to need a heart. We’ll bump Cayden up on the transplant list, and we’ll see where that gets us. But for right now, we just need to keep a steady watch on him.” Harry nodded solemnly, honing in on Thea’s every word. “And keep stress to a minimum around him. He’ll sense that, and it’ll only stress him out. Especially, you, Mr. Styles. He’s attuned to you, so be sure to stay calm around him. When you’re upset or stressed, he is too.”

Harry nodded once.

“Thank you, Dr. Grace,” Gemma said kindly.

Thea moved, turning around to retreat from the room.

“Dr. Grace.”

She turned back around to see Harry’s eyes already on her. “Yes?”

“What’s your first name?” He asked, and Thea’s eyebrows drew together. “It’s just that I’d like to know the first name of the doctor who’s trying to save my son’s life.”

Thea felt her lips curve up slightly. “It’s Thea.”

“Okay.” He sat back in his chair. “Thea. I like it.”

“Thank you, Mr. Styles.”

He sat forward again. “Please, call me Harry.”

“Okay, Harry.”

“Okay, Thea.”

* * *

“You’re not going to be home again _tonight_.” Mason whined on the other line as Thea enjoyed her sixth cup of coffee of the day.

Caffeine. It was a godsend to surgeons.

“C’mon, Mase.” She rolled her eyes, taking a seat at one of the cafeteria’s tables. “You’ll be fine. Just one more night shift.”

“Yes, but I starve when you’re not home.”

Thea’s face scrunched together. “What do you mean? You can cook better than I can. I make toast, and that’s about it.”

Mason hummed. “True, but your takeout ordering skills have surpassed mine tremendously. Seriously. It’s something to be proud of, Thea.”

“You’ll be fine, Mason,” Thea said as she giggled lightly.

“Well—”

“Thea?”

Mason’s voice was interrupted as Thea turned around to find Harry approaching her table slowly, as if waiting for a invitation.

“Harry.” She smiled, gesturing to the seat across from her. “Please, take a seat.”

“Oooh, is that the hot tortured father?” Mason teased on the other line, and Thea flushed.

“Mason, I’m going have to let you go.”

“Okay, but tell Mr. DILF I say hi!”

Thea hung up the phone.

“Boyfriend?” Harry cocked his head towards Thea’s now silent phone. He had a cup of steaming tea in front of him that he gripped onto.

Thea shook her head. “God, no. That was my roommate. She’s a bit of an acquired taste.”

“Ah.” Harry nodded his head. “Are you two…?” He trailed off, face blossoming in color when he realized how personal his question was.

“We’re not, no. She’s just my best friend slash obnoxious roommate.”

Harry wouldn’t make eye contact with her as he nodded.

“So, what are doing out here? Is Cayden okay?”

Tentatively, Harry’s eyes found Thea’s. “He’s okay. The nurses are doing their check up, and I think I stress him out when I’m in the room, so Gemma told me to leave.”

“I could go watch and keep you updated if you’d like,” Thea offered.

“No.” Harry shook his head, “thank you though. Just talk to me. Distract me?”

Thea’s chest warmed at the look on his face. His eyes were wide, pleading, the green reminding her of the many five year old faces she had treated. It struck Thea, in that moment, how young Harry looked. And it was then, she realized, he couldn’t have been much older than her. And with the look of absolute sorrow etched across his face, Thea’s heart ached at how young he did, in fact, look. He had another life in his hands. A whole other life to consider, and for most people his age, they barely knew how to handle their own life, much less a premature infant’s life. That in itself made Harry Styles a special kind of person, Thea figured.

“Well,” she began, swallowing down her emotion, “what about you?”

Harry’s face contorted into confusion. “What about me?”

“Anyone special on the horizon. Roommate and/or other.”

His shoulders slumped, and Thea mentally slapped herself.

“Right, shit. Sorry, stupid question.”

“No, no.” Harry shook her off, “it’s okay. Uh, Camille and I weren’t together when Cayden was born.”

Thea’s ears perked. “Oh?”

He nodded. “Yeah, we, uh, we were childhood friends. Went through school together, uni, everything. We were attached at the hip the moment we met.”

“Harry,” Thea said softly, “you don’t have to tell me this, okay?”

Harry looked determined. “No, you’re Cayden’s doctor. You need to know how he ended up here.”

Thea didn’t have the heart to tell him that she wasn’t Cayden’s doctor, not really,—Dr. Avery was—so she simply nodded her head, signalling him to continue.

“Like I said,” he started again, “we were best mates, and sometime last year, I think we thought we owed it to one another to try and date. So, we did.”

He paused, toying with the tea bag in his cup. Thea had completely forgot about her coffee, and she was sure it was cold by now.

“Three months in, we realized we were better off as friends, so we ended it.” Harry paused for a moment before continuing. “I didn’t see her for a week or two, and then she suddenly showed up at the doorstep, crying and saying she was pregnant. That it was mine.”

“I’m going to go out on a limb here, and say seven months later, Cayden was born.”

Harry bobbed his head in a nod. “In retrospect, I reckon I should’ve seen it coming. Cam leaving, that is. The day she told me she was going on and on about how she never wanted to be a mum, not now, and how we weren’t ever going to be ready.”

Thea felt the need to cut in. “That doesn’t mean her leaving is your fault, Harry.”

Harry shrugged, but didn’t address it. “Our midwife didn’t say anything about complications during the pregnancy, so it was a major shock when Cam started contracting early. We were both terrified.

Then Cayden was born, and we were told about his heart murmur. Cam was complaining about her hospital gown, how uncomfortable it was, so I ran home to get her a change of clothes.” He paused, swallowing roughly. “When I came back, Cam was gone, and the nurse gave me a note from her. It said that she was sorry, but she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t be a mother to a baby, much less a sick baby. She said Cayden would be better off with just me than with a mother who couldn’t care for him. Then I was shoved into an emergency surgery because of Cayden’s heart, and I found about his VSD.”

“Harry,” Thea whispered, having nothing else to say but feeling like her presence should be known.

Harry ignored her. “Now, I’m a 24 year old single father to an ill newborn, and I’m not so sure I’d change a thing. Not as long as I have Cayden.”

“He is a pretty special one, huh?”

Harry finally looked up at Thea, but there was something different in his eyes. She was so used to seeing the sadness in the depths of them combined with the minuscule of hope. But when he looked at her now, there was glint of something she couldn’t quite place, but it lit up his face in a way that caused Thea’s breath to catch in her throat.

“Yeah,” he said, but his voice cracked, so he cleared it. Then he looked away from Thea suddenly. “He really is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come say hi to me on tumbr @harry-styleswho. tpwk xx


	3. when thea learns about family

Thea heard her before she saw her.

It was a routine morning, just like any other one. She had gotten up, showered, threw on some clothes, and stuffed her pale blue scrubs in a bag. When she got to the hospital, she quickly changed, clipped her pager onto her pants then did her rounds.

Thea was filling out a chart for a thirteen year old boy when _her_ voice rang through the floor, and Thea felt her heart drop to her feet. With a whip of her head, Thea turned to see the woman walking towards her. Her head was turned, so she hadn’t seen Thea yet, and it made it easy for Thea to quickly place the chart back where it belonged before walking-jogging down the hall.

She felt like her chest was going to cave in on itself when she happened upon a sleep room, opening the door and sliding into it. It was vacant, so she quickly shut the door behind her. She felt her body fall onto one of the bunk beds provided, though she couldn’t quite remember thinking to sit down on the bed. Her entirety was shaking despite the warm temperature of the room. The breath leaving her body rattled her lungs, and she heard wheezing with every exhale.

A panic attack.

“Thea?”

Thea’s head whipped up at the sound of her name. When her eyes locked on green ones, she realized the tears filling her own. Harry’s eyes widened as he gently shut the door behind him, approaching Thea like she were a baby deer about to bolt. She didn’t say anything, only waited as Harry walked slowly over to her, standing in front of her.

“Y-You’re not supposed to be in here,” she wheezed out, voice breaking. “This is staff only.”

Harry crouched down in front of her, eyes watching her. If it were anybody else, Thea was sure she’d feel self-conscious under their gaze. But this was Harry, and there was something about him that simply calmed her when he looked at her. He calmed her. In all honesty, that, in itself, terrified Thea.

“I saw you come in here, and you looked like you’d just seen a ghost.”

 _Something much worse_ , Thea thought.

Her lips parted to speak, but only a wheezed breath left her mouth. Harry’s eyebrows drew together at the sound, and his hand reached out to take the both of hers in his one. His thumb gently slid across the expanse of her skin, eyes searching her imploringly.

It had been two months since Thea met Harry. Two months since the whirlwind known as Cayden and Harry flew into her world and all the tragedy and turmoil followed. Two months since Cayden was temporarily treated for his VSD, and since then, he had been making strides. He was growing remarkably, though he was still smaller than a typical infant at his age, he was doing so much better.

He still slept through majority of the day, but his waking hours were growing steadily with each passing day. He was able to eat by himself, and Harry was persistent of buying the most expensive formula that did its best to mimic breast milk. Thea still remembered when Harry had asked her to come to the market with him to shop for Cayden. They were both in the formula aisle for at least forty minutes, Thea was of it. In that time, Harry had researched just about every brand of formula, ranging from generic to actual brand-name before picking the perfect one. Thea was certain she now knew more about every type of formula than she’d ever need to.

Cayden was now big enough to be held, though it could only be for a few moments out of the day, Thea knew Harry cherished that time more than anything. The first time he held his son, there was so much wonder and awe in his face that Thea almost burst into tears. His arms cradled his son to his bare chest (skin-to-skin contact was vital for bonding with infants) with such care that it was easy to see he was a perfect father. His love for his son showed in every breath he took, and Thea simply found it beautiful.

And it scared Thea, because she didn’t know how long Cayden’s progress would last. It was only a matter of time before he digressed as his body searched for a treatment much more permanent. Thea dreaded that day.

When she didn’t respond, her chest simply rattling, Harry’s eyes grew worried. “Thea, hey. Please, tell me what’s wrong.”

“M-my mum,” she gasped as a shiver overtook her.

Harry’s hands moved to grasp her shoulder gently. “What about your mum?”

“She’s here.” Thea felt tears slowly leaking from her eyes, trickling down her cheek. Harry slowly took in the state of her tears before drawing her into him arms, shushing her sweetly as he pulled her from the bed and on the floor with him.

Thea made no noise as if she didn’t even realize she was crying. Her body was stiff against Harry’s, but he felt the warmth of the tears hit the skin of his neck, so he continued to gently shush her, rubbing her back slowly.

“You’re okay, Thea,” he spoke soothingly. “Everything’s okay.”

Thea wasn’t sure how long it took her to stop crying, and when she did, she pulled away from Harry. Her face was wet, though apart from that, there was no emotion in her eyes. Slowly, Harry reached out and swiped his thumb across her cheek, taking the moisture of her tears with his touch. Thea’s heart felt heavy and alight at the same time, and she breathed out a heavy sigh.

Harry’s eyes were on her, steady and gazing. His hand never left her cheek even after he had swiped the tears away. Thea only leaned into the touch, mesmerized the look of the green in his eyes. There was a softness there that stole the breath from Thea’s lungs. He was beautiful, in every sense of the word. Thea had never described a man as beautiful until she met Harry, but she couldn’t find a word that better suited him. Beautiful. His personality, his looks, everything. He was simply beautiful.

Suddenly, reality caught up with Thea, and she realized she was sharing a very intimate moment with her patient’s father, so she sucked in a harsh breath, pulling away. Harry’s hand stood frozen mid-air before he let it drop limp to his side. He blinked several times as if breaking out of some kind of trance.

“I’m sorry. My mum and I… we, uh, just never really had a great relationship.” Thea felt the need to explain herself.

She barely had enough time to finish her sentence before Harry was shaking his head. “You don’t have to apologize, Thea. You’ve got my son’s back, and I’ve got yours. It’s how this thing between us works.”

Thea nodded, eyes never leaving Harry’s face. Her heart stuttered a beat, and she wasn’t sure why. “Yeah, that’s how this works.”

* * *

Thea effectively avoided her mother’s presence throughout majority of the day. There were a few close calls, and there were a few times Thea had to pull a James Bond and duck and cover behind a multiple walls, but she was successful in her avoidance.

It was now time for lunch, and Thea found herself eating all by her lonesome in a vacant room in pediatrics. She didn’t want to risk bumping into her mother in the cafeteria, so she had decided scoping out a empty hospital room would be best. And she was halfway through a rather salty bowl of pasta salad when she heard a set of footsteps bound in the room.

“There you are.” Niall’s voice rang through as he moved into the room. “Liam and I were wondering where you went off to.”

Thea popped a carrot in her mouth. “Here.”

“I see that.” Niall bobbed his head. “Can I ask why you’re eating all by yourself in a hospital room?”

“You know, ‘cause.” Thea shrugged her shoulders.

“Right.”

Thea finished the final bites of her pasta salad, grimacing as she swore the taste had grown saltier with each bite.

“So,” he started as he hopped up on the bed next to Thea. Their shoulders bumped, and Thea was reminded of the moments where she would sit on top of the monkey bars with Niall when they were young. Back then, they didn’t have a care in the world, with their legs swinging and hearts alight. Thea wondered if her younger self would had ever predicted if this was how their lives would turn out. Two cousins fighting against the world. “I saw the always lovely Auntie Maria.”

Thea nodded, laughing emotionlessly before finally foregoing the thoroughly seasoned lunch, shoving the tray to the side of the bed.

When Thea didn’t respond verbally, Niall continued. “If it helps at all, she asked me where you were, and I told her you were saving a child’s life. Then I asked her what she’d done with her day. Her face was priceless.”

“I knew you were my favorite cousin for a reason.”

“Well, I’m honored, Grace.”

“As you should be, Horan.”

Thea chuckled before sighing heavily, and Niall’s head turned to look at her. She felt his eyes examining her, but she kept her head straight forward.

“Have you seen her yet?”

Thea nodded. “Once, but she didn’t see me. Then I had panic attack in one of the sleep rooms, and I haven’t seen her since.”

Naturally, she left out the part where Harry had held her as she cried. It felt wrong to share it with anyone else. It was something that strictly belonged to her and Harry.

“You know,” Niall spoke solemnly. “You won’t be able to avoid mommy dearest for long.”

“I know. I think I just need time to prepare myself.”

Niall nodded. “I understand.”

The cousins then drifted into silence as they both stared at the floor ahead of them. Thea had only just gotten use to the silence before Niall broke it, turning his head towards her quickly.

“How’s Cayden?”

Thea’s ears perked at the sound of Cayden’s name. “All right, for now.”

“What do you mean by ‘for now?’” There was an edge of curiosity in Niall’s voice.

“I mean, when Liam and Avery patched up the hole, it was only temporary,” Thea explained, sighing heavily. “It wasn’t meant to last, and he’s been making strides lately. But it can only last so long before his heart needs something permanent.”

“Oh.”

Thea nodded solemnly. “Yeah.”

“I’m sorry.” Niall turned his head to look at Thea, and she copied him. The pool of blue calmed her. Niall was like a brother to her, and she always found a tranquility with him that she never found with anyone else. “I know you really care about him.”

“I just want him to be healthy. He’s my patient, after all.”

Niall smirked knowingly. “We both know it’s more than that.”

Thea looked away from Niall, refusing to grace his statement with a response. With the silence, Niall gently slipped his arm around her shoulder, and just like that, Thea didn’t need his words to help her feel better. This was everything she needed.

They both sat there silently, but no words were needed. Thea felt quite at ease in the silence of the room.

Thea didn’t know much about family. Growing up with a set of just about nonexistent parents never really did much in teaching a child the value of family. So, she never really knew much about family and what being family meant to people. But as she sat next to Niall, with his arm around her shoulder, thumb gently stroking the skin below her collarbone, she felt like she had an inkling as to what it meant to be someone’s family. The value in it. And she wondered if this was what it felt like when Harry looked at Cayden.

For a split second, she thought what it would be like if Harry ever felt that way when he looked at her. But she quickly pushed that thought out of her head. It was silly, after all. Nothing could come from her and Harry. Not in this lifetime.

“You’ll have to see her soon, you know.” Niall finally broke silence, and Thea sighed, draping her head on Niall’s shoulder. “You can’t avoid her forever.”

“I know.”

Niall sighed. “I wish I could do more to help, Thea.”

“I know.”

Then the two cousins sat in silence, legs swinging from the bed like they used to on the monkey bars. And for a moment, Thea was able to pause the clock and pretend that she was still five years old. She was able to pretend that her mum had yet to break her, and that a father and his infant’s lives weren’t hanging in the balance of her every decision.

For a split moment, she was able to just forget it all.

* * *

“Can I speak with you for a moment?”

Thea’s eyes were drooping, and her entire body screamed at her for some form of caffeine. She would honestly take coffee in an IV at this point, and she was on her way to the coffee machine when Avery’s voice distracted her. As she turned around, she found Dr. Avery making her way towards Thea.

Thea sighed before nodding her head and following Avery towards the nurses’ station. Avery grabbed a chart from the pile sitting on the desk, and Thea didn’t have to look to know whose chart it was. Cayden’s.

She flicked through the contents of the chart, scribbling of few things there before she finally looked up at Thea.

“I’ve been making calls for a donor,” she started, and Thea felt herself subconsciously leaning forward with Avery’s words.

“And?”

Avery sighed, shaking her head. Thea felt her heart drop. “He’s not going to get a heart, not anytime soon. And even if he does, he’s much too small to be operated on with a procedure as grand as a transplant. It’s too risky.”

Briefly, Thea closed her eyes, exhaling harshly through her nose. She contemplated how she was going to tell Harry. How in the world was she going to tell a man that his son—the one person he loved most in this world—wasn’t going to get the one thing he needed to survive? How was she going to tell Harry she couldn’t save his son?

Opening her eyes, she looked over at Avery. She was looking over at Thea curiously, but Thea didn’t pay much mind to it before she began talking. “Then what do we do? There has to be something we can do.”

“I don’t know.” Dr. Avery shrugged, “but make sure the father knows we’re doing all we can.”

“How long does Cayden have?”

“I’d say four months until the temporary fix begins to wear off,” she informed, looking down at the chart. “After that, we’re going to have to think of something to repair both of the holes without risking too much. We have to figure out a way to operate on him without causing too much stress on his body.”

Thea nodded slowly. “And you think there’s absolutely no way we get a heart in that time?”

“No.” Avery shook her head, “I even talked to Dr. Payne and Dr. Riley, the attending cardiothoracic surgeon, and they both said the chance was slim to none.”

“Damn.” The word left Thea’s mouth in a whispered hiss, and she was sure Avery was reprimand her for her language, but Avery simply nodded her head in agreement.

Dr. Avery closed Cayden’s chart. “I trust you’ll tell Mr. Styles for me?”

“Why do I—?”

“Thea.” Avery’s voice held a tint of amusement as she tilted her head to the side. “I’m not blind, you know.”

Thea shook her head, not having anything to respond with. She turned around towards the computer, tapping mindlessly and ineffectively at the keyboard. She could feel her cheeks grow hotter, and she did everything in her power to will the color away.

Avery’s presence still hovered beside her, and Thea wished with everything she was that she’d just walk away.

Thea did not get her wish. “I saw her. Your mom, I mean. We chatted for a bit.”

“Oh?” Thea’s voice came out in a squeak.

“I did.” Avery nodded slowly, and Thea turned around to look over at her. “I told her you were an outstanding doctor, and that she should be proud.”

Thea didn’t feel the need to say anything. With flaming cheeks, she found esteemed interest in the fabric of her shoes.

When Thea didn’t respond, Avery went on. Though her words caused the red in Thea’s cheeks to blanch. “She said you would’ve been even more outstanding in neuro.”

“Yeah.” Thea bobbed her head. “Sounds like mummy.”

Dr. Avery stepped forward, placing a hand on her shoulder. “If it’s any consolation, I think you’re an outstanding pediatrics doctor. You give children the chance at a nice, long life. There’s absolutely no shame in that, Thea Grace.”

A smile tipped Thea’s lips up. “Thank you, Dr. Avery. That means a lot coming from you.”

“Hey, us pediatric surgeon gotta stick together, right?”

* * *

“‘Guess how much I love you,’ he said. ‘Oh, I don’t think I could guess that,” said Big Nutbrown Hare.’”

There was a certain tranquility in his voice as Thea leaned against the entryway of the NICU. It calmed Thea as she watched Harry read softly to Cayden as he rested in his incubator. _Guess How Much I Love You_ was gripped in Harry’s hands, and Thea thought it was only fitting for Harry to be reading that to Cayden.

She didn’t dare make a peep, afraid that if she ruined the moment, it’d vanish into thin air, never to be found again. Thea had come here to inform Harry about the news of Cayden’s VSD details, but her original intent vanished when the purest of scenes was graced onto her.

In that moment, Thea knew this was what family was. Love and hardship combined into one entity. It was loving someone even when they weren’t at their best. It wasn’t about blood relation. It was something much more than that, and Thea never understood that until now. As she watched Harry mutter softly to his son, Cayden’s eyes contently on his father, blinking up at him in wonder, Thea knew this was everything that family was. Harry and Cayden. They now and forever would be a family.

The thought soon caused an ache to form in her heart. They were family. Cayden was Harry’s everything, and Harry was Cayden’s everything. The world would be much too cruel of a place to tear that away from either of them.

And that, well, that was something Thea couldn’t quite bear.

Harry’s soft voice continued on, and Thea found herself zoning in on every word. She was so into the moment that she didn’t hear someone else happen upon her until she felt a hand on her shoulder, causing her to nearly jump out of her scrubs.

“Sorry, sorry.” Gemma was quick to apologize as Thea whirled around to face her. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

Gemma had a trench coat draped across her arm, and she was wearing a dress shirt and slacks, seeming to have stopped by right after work. Her was pulled up in a perfect bun, and her green eyes were winged perfectly.

“It’s okay.” Thea smiled reassuringly. “I was a little distracted.”

Gemma’s eyes flicked behind Thea to the scene unfolding. Thea turned around to look. Harry had reached the middle of the book, and Cayden’s eyes were drooping slowly, the sound of his father’s voice lulling him to sleep.

“He’s a good dad, isn’t he?” Gemma said softly, awe riddled in her voice.

Thea’s eyes didn’t leave Cayden and Harry. “Yeah, they make a good team.”

She watched the scene for a moment more, smiling as Cayden’s mouth opened in a wide yawn before he smacked his lips together tiredly. Harry chuckled in the middle of his sentence at that, and Thea’s heart nearly burst.

She turned around to face Gemma just as she began to speak again.

“I just want to thank you for helping Harry through these last two months,” she started, eyes flickering towards her brother and nephew before finding Thea again. “With everything that’s been going on with Cayden, from all the surgeries and stress, I don’t think Harry could’ve done this without you. And my brother has always been reluctant to ask for help, so you jumping in really means a lot. To him and to me. So, thank you.”

Thea tried her best to appear nonchalant as she shrugged her shoulders. “It’s my job.”

Gemma didn’t look convinced. “We both know it’s more than that.”

Thea sighed, loathing the way her heart beat harder beneath her chest as she turned back around to look at Harry and Cayden.

“‘Then he laid down and whispered with a smile, ‘I love you right up to the moon—and back’.”’

* * *

Her scrubs were slipping out of her bag as she passed by the NICU, waving goodbye to Gemma as she went. She was a little distracted with trying to rectify the mess that was her bag, so she didn’t notice the one person she had been trying to avoid all day until it was too late.

“I was beginning to think you were fired and didn’t have the heart to tell me.”

Thea’s heart nearly stopped with the sound of her voice. Her hand froze inside of her bag, and her scrub shirt fell onto the floor before she had a chance to save it. There was a panic rising in her chest, though with a few deep breaths, she quickly swiped the shirt from the floor, roughly shoving it into her bag (and cursing under her breath) before allowing her gaze to flick up to meet her mum’s cold stare.

She tried to keep her voice leveled as she said. “Hello, Mother.”

“Is that all I get?” Maria Grace scoffed, face pinching in distaste. “After years of not seeing one another, just a brief hello?”

Thea wondered what she expected. She wasn’t exactly pulling Thea in for a hug. Hell, she didn’t even look too terribly happy to see her only daughter.

So, Thea simply ignored her mother’s sarcastic remarks. “What are you doing here, Mum?”

Maria shrugged, feigning the perfect martyr act that made Thea scoff. “I suppose it’s too much to ask for my only child to be excited about seeing me.”

 _I could say the same about you_ , Thea thought, but she wasn’t one to start drama.

“Mum?”

“I own this hospital, don’t I?” She finally attempted answering Thea’s question. “It’d look a little bad if the owner never showed her face.”

Thea sighed, nodding her head as she looked away. A few feet away, she saw Harry standing tense near the NICU, as if ready to pounce if Thea needed him. He had a cup of coffee in his hand, but he paid no mind to it, solely focused on Thea. She sent him a small smile, and she could feel her cheeks blossom with color when Harry returned it. What once was a solemn face transformed into something so much more. The smile lit up his face in a way that caused Thea’s breath to be momentarily lost. It was brilliant, and Thea found it hard to look away. Though when she finally did tear her eyes away from the sight, she felt somehow emptier. Her stomach dropped when she saw her mother’s eyes were also on Harry.

Maria’s mouth was curved down in a frown. “So, you’ve found something to occupy your time, I see.”

“No.” Thea quickly shook her, something flaring up inside her at the way her mother spoke of Harry. She felt a sudden urge to defend him, but she knew that wouldn’t help her case much. “It’s not like that. He’s the father of the eight week old infant I’m treating.”

Thea could physically see her mother’s ear perk at the mention of something medical. “What’s the diagnosis?”

“VSD. An extreme case,” Thea humored her.

Maria nodded. “The call to action?”

“Mum, I really don’t feel like talking business with you.”

All excitement drained from Maria’s face as she hummed absentmindedly. “Pity. Though I suppose pediatrics isn’t quite as exciting to talk about as… other things.”

“Don’t start now.”

“What?” Maria feigned innocence. “I’m only saying that neuro is much more exciting conversational piece than pediatrics.”

Thea wished that she didn’t still feel a prick in her heart everytime her mother said something like that. Every time her mother showed the disappointment she obviously felt towards Thea. She wished it didn’t still affect her. After years of following her dreams, becoming the surgeon she always dreamt of being. She wished she could be truly proud of what she did, though Thea didn’t think she ever could be when her own mother made comments like that.

“Look.” Thea shook her head, exhaling roughly. “I’ve said this before, Mother, but I suppose I’ll say it again. Just because you and Dad were neurosurgeons back in your day, does not mean that’s what I’m meant to be. I save lives, just as you did. The only difference, I give children the chance to live a full life, and I don’t see anything less beautiful in that then what you did.”

“Althea—”

“But hey,” Thea cut in, “if you disapprove, by all means, disapprove. I’ve spent nearly twenty-six years trying to get you to be proud of me. I’m done now.”

With that, Thea walked away, leaving her mother stunned into silence as the mantra _I’m never going to good enough_ echoed through her head.

And that, right there, was the only definition of family Thea had ever known.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come say hi to me on tumbr @harry-styleswho. tpwk xx


	4. when someone kicks peaches

“Thea!”

Her feet stalled the moment her name carried through the air. She was just passing the NICU, and she chastised herself, as she turned around, for wishing the voice belonged to Harry.

It didn’t.

But there were green eyes all the same.

“Hey, Gemma.” Thea offered her best smile, attempting to make it seem like she wasn’t just wishing Gemma was her brother. “How are you?”

Gemma grimaced. “I’ve really got to use the loo, but Harry went to grab a bite to eat. Would you mind keeping an eye on Cayden for me, please? It’ll only take a moment.”

There probably was a billion reasons Thea should have said no, mainly residing in the realm of getting too close to her patients (and patient’s father), but despite those infinite reasons, she found herself saying, “yeah, of course,” and Gemma was off, leaving Thea alone with Cayden.

At first, she only stood at the entrance of the NICU, watching Cayden sleep peacefully. There was something about the rise and fall of his chest, the reassurance that he was well and breathing. It caused a smile to curve the corners of her lips. She found herself moving closer to him, seemingly drawn to the calmness that Cayden emitted. On its own accord, Thea’s hand moved to lightly stroke his cheek with the pad of her finger, moving it to gently poke the tip of his nose and quietly laughing when she watched him scrunch his nose in his sleep. He was perfect, Thea had decided in that moment. And it made her heart clench at the thought of the world losing this perfect little boy.

Though before she had time to act on those feelings, Cayden’s face pinched as he jerked suddenly. His lips began smacking together, fists erratically moving as he clenched and unclenched them. A whine bubbled up from his lips before evolving in a quiet cry. Thea’s eyes widened before she carefully moved her hands to cradle his back, lifting him from the incubator.

“Hey, buddy,” she whispered gently as she cradled his body to her chest, “you’re okay. I’ve got you.”

Cayden’s only response was a loud cry as he began to nuzzle his way in her chest.

“What are you—oh, you’re hungry.” Thea’s head whipped around, gently rocking Cayden as she searched. Her eyes happened upon a diaper bag, and she quickly made her way to it, plucking a bottle from its confines. Cayden squirmed at the sight of it. “Hey, look what I found. You hungry, buddy? Hmm?”

She found a seat on the hospital-provided rocking chair. Eagerly, Cayden began to suck at the bottle as soon as Thea placed it at his lips.

“You’re sweet, did you know that? A lot like your daddy that way.”

Cayden’s eyes were wide as he fed, watching Thea speak to him. His hand moved to grasp onto her finger from the hand that was holding the bottle up. Thea felt her heart clench as he squeezed it.

“I’m going to save you, all right? And you’re going to live a nice full life with your dad. He’s going to be able to love you for a long, long time. I promise you, Cayden.”

Cayden finished the last of the bottle, falling asleep as he did so. Thea pulled the bottle away from him, smiling softly as the calming feeling that always seemed to surround Cayden when he slept resurfaced. She was about to bend down and press a kiss to Cayden’s forehead, but a movement from the corner of her eyes stopped her. Cayden was gripping onto her finger as if he could sense her tenseness in his sleep when she locked eyes with Harry as he stood at the entrance of the NICU. He was watching the scene unfold in front of him with such tenderness in his eyes that Thea wondered how long he had been standing there.

“I’m sorry,” she felt the need blurt out, “Gemma went to the toilets, so she asked me to… and he was hungry, so I—”

“Thea.” Harry interrupted her, smiling softly. His eyes flickered down to his son fast asleep on her chest, and the smile widened. “It’s okay. It’s really okay.”

Thea looked down to Cayden, watching as he slept soundly. She nodded once. “Okay.”

Carefully, Thea stood up, trying her best not to jostle Cayden from his sleep while she made her way to his incubator. She felt Harry trailing behind her as she gently placed Cayden inside, grinning as he scrunched his nose in his sleep. Taking a step back, she allowed time for Harry to have some quality time with his son.

Harry took her place at the incubator, and he leaned down to pressed a kiss on his son’s forehead, lingering there before pulling away. Thea’s heart felt heavy.

Thea watched as Harry slowly moved back from his son, sighing. “Harry?”

“Hmm?” He hummed, not moving his eyes from Cayden.

“I, uh, I have to tell you something, and you should probably be sitting down when I tell you this.”

Harry’s eyes finally left Cayden, eyebrows cinching together as he looked over to Thea.

“Okay…” he trailed off as he moved to sit at the chair Thea and Cayden were in only moments before. “What’s going on?”

Thea sighed heavily, looking down to her shuffling feet. Cayden’s deep breaths that surfaced through the air calmed her and put her nerves into overdrive all at the same time.

“Thea.” She hated the way her heart beat faster at the sound of Harry speaking her name, “please, tell me what’s going on.”

Slowly, her eyes flitted up to Harry. “I-It’s about Cayden.”

Harry sat up straighter. “What about him?”

“We’ve happened upon a snag with the transplant,” she said, speaking slowly. Harry only leaned forward, so Thea continued. “We can’t get the heart, and even if we could, Cayden is much too young to be operated on with such a grand procedure. It could send his body into shock.”

“Okay.” His voice was flat as he nodded along. “So, what does that mean for my son?”

_My son._

Thea’s head spun a little.

“It means he has four months for us to find an alternative treatment.”

Harry’s head tilted to the side. “Four months until what?”

Thea’s eyes found the ground, her answer speaking loud without the words.

“Oh.”

“Harry, I’m really sorry, we are—”  
  
“But you’ll find another way, right?” Harry didn’t let her finish, speaking quickly. “You’ll save him. You said so yourself, you promised you’d save him. You said it to him.”

Thea shook her head. “You weren’t supposed to hear that.”

“But you have to save him, Thea.” Slowly, Harry stood up, walking towards her. “You have to save my son.”

_You could be so much more._

_You’ll never amount to anything in pediatrics._

Something in Thea exploded. “I’m trying! I’m just a first year in _pediatrics_ , Harry! I’m—”

A high pitched cry pierced the air, cutting Thea off, and that was when she realized she was yelling. Harry’s head whipped towards his son, and he quickly rushed over to him.

“Harry.”

He already had Cayden cradled to his chest, though he didn’t look towards Thea. His eyes were focused solely on his son. “Please, just go, Thea.”

Thea went.

* * *

An hour later, Thea found herself sat in the cafeteria, miserably poking holes into her mash potatoes. Though they weren’t really mashed, per se. There was still chunks of potatoes in them. Not that it mattered. Thea didn’t have much of an appetite after all.

Liam sat across from her, though Niall was nowhere to be found. He got stuck working the night shift today, and he was not happy about it (he made that thoroughly clear in the group text her, Liam, and Niall were apart of). So, Thea took this time alone with Liam to pick his brain with all things Cayden.

“Thea, it’s just not possible.” Liam shook his head, poking at the mash potatoes. “Even if we were to get a heart, we can’t operate on him at his size. Or age, for that matter. He’s much too fragile.”

Thea was really getting sick of hearing that.

“Yeah,” she bit, voice sounding harsh, “so I’ve been told.”

Liam frowned, popping a spoonful of potatoes in his mouth, grimacing. “No need to get snippy. I’m just being honest.”

“I just—” Thea cut herself off, huffing loudly. “There has to be another way, right? There has to be.”

Liam shrugged, mouth tilting up in an apologetic smile. Thea nodded once, frowning. They were enveloped into silence at that, though Thea didn’t mind. Her mind was racing with ways to save Cayden, and she wasn’t so sure she could keep up with a very stimulating conversation. Not with the way her mind was moving.

The racing in her head, though, was soon cut off when Liam spoke abruptly, effectively ending Thea’s thoughts.

“What about cell growth?”

“Pardon?”

“You know, cell growth,” Liam said as if that it explained his every thought. “Growing cells.”

Thea looked at Liam like he had suddenly sprouted a third ear on his forehead. “What are you going to do, Liam? Grow another heart for Cayden?” She shook her head. “Come on, be serious.”

“No, not another heart entirely. Just pieces of a heart to fix the holes.”

“Don’t you think that’s a little risky. And _really_ out there.” Thea grimaced at the thought.

What if Cayden’s body rejected the cells? What if Cayden’s body rejected a transplant? What if he hemorrhaged on the operating table? What if—?

Thea decided then, no matter what, there would always be what ifs.

Liam shrugged, popping a spoonful of bland potatoes in his mouth. “We’ve got four months to see.”

* * *

“Cell growth.”

In hindsight, Thea probably shouldn’t have slammed her hands down on the table Dr. Avery was sitting at, effectively startling Dr. Avery and sending her tea flying down the front of her scrubs. And she most certainly shouldn’t have stepped away from the spill, shrugging and ensuring that it didn’t go anywhere near her scrubs. But alas, Thea was, well, Thea, and as she stared at the big stain on the front of Dr. Avery’s scrubs, she realized her mistake.

Dr. Avery offered Thea a look. “I beg your pardon?”

Thea plucked some napkins from a nearby box to offer them to the older lady. Dr. Avery snatched them from Thea’s hands.

“Do you think cell growth will work for Cayden’s condition?” She asked, making sure her voice was kind. “Instead of an entire transplant, patching up the holes with new generated cells.”

Dr. Avery dabbed away at her shirt. “It’s risky, though I suppose it’s less of a risk than a transplant.” She muttered the last part to herself, though Thea was close enough to hear her. “There’ll be less strain on his body.”

“So, you think it’ll work?” Thea couldn’t stop the hope from leaking into her voice.

Dr. Avery sighed, though it wasn’t a heavy sigh or a sigh of defeat. It was simply an exhale of breath. “It will take a lot of work. Months of work. Long, tiresome work.”

“Well, we’ve got four months.”

“That we do.” The attending nodded. “Okay, we’ll do it your way, but just be prepared.”

Thea beamed. “Great! I’ll go tell Mr. Styles.”

Thea only gotten in a single step when Dr. Avery said, “You can’t.”

“Why not?” She felt her heart beat a little harder in her chest.

“Mr. Styles and Cayden were discharged an hour ago.” Avery placed the soiled napkins on the table before tilting her to the side in question. “You didn’t know that?”

Thea suddenly felt as if her stomach was lumped in her throat. “They were? But… but why?”

“Mr. Styles wanted Cayden to be at home, and with the progress he has been making, I saw no problem with that.” Avery finished the last of her tea, standing up from the cafeteria table. Thea followed, zoned in on her words. “Of course there’s still going to be daily check ups, but there’s really no need for them to be in the hospital. At least, not really.”

Thea had a feeling as if something was pinching the inside of her stomach as she nodded solemnly. “Oh.”

“I would’ve told you, but I figured Mr. Styles would, considering how close the pair of you have gotten.”

“No.” Thea shook her head, dismissing Avery’s apologies. “It’s fine. Not your fault.”

* * *

Thea felt silly. She was mourning something she never really had. Her and Harry were nothing more than a doctor and a patient’s father. Nothing resembling anything remotely different, though her mind was taunting her with thoughts like if this was how Harry felt when Camille left him. Logically, Thea knew his pain over Camille was much greater. His childhood friend and mother of his child abandoned him, he was much worse off. And she also knew Harry didn’t leave her. He just took his son home, and really, there was nothing wrong with that. She would see the both of them again, of course. But he hadn’t told her, and that was what hurt. He simply left.

And as she stood in the neonatal unit, staring at the incubator Cayden once laid in, she wondered why he didn’t tell her.

There was nothing tranquil or calm about the NICU now. It was as if Cayden had taken everything that was calm with him. His presence soothed her, Thea had come to find when she was holding him against her chest. And she wondered how she was going to make it day to day in this hospital without her sweet Cayden.

Well, he wasn’t really _hers_. But she thought him to be.

Thea hadn’t noticed she was inside of the NICU until another voice sounded, and she realized she was staring at the rocking chair that she had held Cayden in only hours before.

“Thea?”

Thea whirled around to find Gemma, smiling kindly over at her. She moved to pick up a stray bag that was resting towards the incubator, slinging it over her shoulder before turning to face Thea once again.

“Fancy seeing you here, huh?” Gemma joked, chuckling. “My brother dearest and his ever forgetful mind left the bag with all the diapers. Disaster in the making, right?”

Thea chuckled, but it held just about no emotion—even to her ears.

“And,” Gemma continued, “it was probably a bit of a ploy for me to give you this.” She held out a piece of paper.

Thea eyed it warily, looking up from the paper to Gemma before cocking her eyebrow up. “What is it?”

“His phone number.”

Thea almost choked on her own spit. “His what?”

“Of course, he tried to play it off like it was for medical reasons.” Gemma rolled her eyes. “But Harry is anything but coy.”

“What?”

Thea wondered if Gemma usually spoke like this, or if Thea was just being exceptionally daft today.

Gemma’s arm dropped, her hand and the piece of paper falling to her side. “He fancies you, you ninny. Though why I have to tell you, I don’t know. It’s quite obvious, love.”

Thea didn’t have a response, so she simply shook her head. Besides, Harry couldn’t possibly fancy her. She’s his son’s doctor, that’s it. There’s nothing romantic associated between the two of the at all. Nothing.

With the silence, Gemma decided to continue. “He told me you two had a little lovers spat.”

Thea’s cheeks tinted pink as she stumbled over her words, speaking mostly incoherencies that were meant to be denial.

“Of course.” Gemma exaggerated the word, “he didn’t use those exact words.” She shrugged. “I might’ve improvised.”

“We’re not—”

“I know you’re not,” Gemma assured, dangling the paper in the air. “So, take it.”

Thea finally took the piece of paper from Gemma, feeling silly when she expected it to be heavier than what it truly was. It was just paper, after all. Nothing serious.

“Is that why he didn’t tell me Cayden was discharged?” She wondered aloud. “Because we had a row?”

Gemma bobbed her head from side to side. “I think he mostly wanted to avoid any confrontation. That’s not really my brother’s thing.”

Thea nodded once. “Oh.”

“He wasn’t trying to intentionally upset you.”

“I know.”

“Do you?”

“I do.”

Thea slipped the piece of paper into her pocket, making sure to slide it far enough so it wouldn’t fall out. Gemma watched her do so, smirking at her actions.

“Just—” Gemma began to say, though she quickly cut herself off. “Do me a favor, Thea, would you?”

Thea hesitated before nodding slowly.

“Don’t shut my brother out. He really needs someone like you.”

Before Thea couldn’t even think to deny Gemma’s statement (because honestly, why would Harry need someone like _Thea_?), she was turning around and heading out the door, leaving Thea by herself. And she hated herself for thinking her pocket felt just a little bit heavier.

* * *

Thea stared at the piece of paper for a long time.

At first, she pulled it from her pocket to actually put the number into her contacts list, though she soon found herself staring at the ten digit number. She wondered if it’d be weird for her to text him right now. Just a simple hello. Completely innocent. Maybe, she could call him to pretend to check on Cayden. Maybe she could—

“Althea.”

Thea cringed, knowing full well who that voice belonged to. She was the only one that ever called her by her full name. She was also the only one that said her name as if it were an obscene word, spitting it out acerbically.

Thea quickly grabbed the paper from the the top of the desk, shoving it in her pocket in hopes her mother hadn’t seen it.

“What was that? Why’re you hiding it?”

 _Shit_.

Thea rolled her eyes, stepping out from behind the nurses’ station to stand in front of her mother. There was a bag strapped to her shoulder, and her sunglasses were atop of her head. Thea’s stomach did a little flip in anticipation.

_She’s leaving. She’s finally leaving._

“It was nothing, Mother.” Instinctively, Thea’s hand went to her pocket to hold the paper in place.

Maria wasn’t convinced, her frown deepening. “It didn’t look like nothing. It looked like a telephone number.”

“Mum—”

“It’s that boy’s, isn’t it? The father of the infant you’re treating?” Maria’s face brightened once she realized then darkened considerably. “Althea Grace, absolutely not.”

Thea’s eyebrows rose high on her head. “What? I didn’t even say anything!”

Maria ignored her. “You can’t embarrass this family like that, Althea.”

“Like what? How am I embarrassing this family?”

“It’s one thing to not live up to your family name.” Thea felt that one in her gut, and her face immediately paled. “But having an affair with a patient, that’s preposterous.”

Thea brought her fingertips to her temple, rubbing in circles. “Jesus, Mother, what are you even going on about?”

“You know, ever since Will, I knew—”

“Don’t.” Thea interrupted, her voice menacingly low. She felt her entire body go tense with the sound of his name. “Don’t you dare bring him into this.”

“I’m just saying—”

“No! Don’t just say, Mum! Okay? Just don’t!”

Thea could feel eyes on the two of them, and she knew she had spoken much too loud, gaining some unwanted attention. She kept her eyes fixed pointedly on a spot on the floor for an extended pause, waiting until she couldn’t feel the burn of eyes on her before she looked up again.

When she finally did look up, Maria was seething, having been yelled at in _her_ hospital by _her_ daughter, Thea knew she was ready to explode.

Acting quickly, Thea exhaled loudly. “Look, I didn’t mean to yell. You- you just brought Will into this, and I got upset.” Maria crossed her arms over her chest, looking defiant. “It was disrespectful to yell, and I apologize. But there’s nothing going on with me and the patient’s father. Nothing, so you don’t have to worry about the family’s image.”

Maria was silent for a while, scanning Thea’s face for sometime. After a moment or two, she stuck her hand out, smiling professionally. Thea wondered how she could switch emotions like that.

“Well, it was a pleasure speaking with you, Althea. Thank you very much for your time.”

Thea stared at her mother’s hand for a beat before taking it in hers and actually shaking it. The handshake only lasted a few seconds before Maria pulled away, nodding once and walking away. That was it.

That was how she said goodbye.

* * *

“Why do you look like someone just kicked our cat?”

Thea was already nursing her third scotch on the rocks when Mason slid onto the bar stool beside her, ordering a dirty martini. She sipped slowly on her drink as she listened to Thea drone on and on about Harry and Cayden, the words _leaving_ and _phone_ escaping her lips quite often. And Mason couldn’t help but chuckle at little when Thea finally finished her story, jutting out her bottom lip like a toddler.

Thea cocked her head to the side, feeling slightly dizzy as she did so. “Who kicked our cat?”

“No one.”

“Then why’d you ask me that?” She sounded confused, and Mason watched as the bartender placed down Thea’s fourth drink of the night.

“Because you _look_ like someone kicked our precious Peaches.”

Thea pouted, taking a generous swig from her drink. The room grew a little fuzzy. “No, I don’t.”

Mason just nodded, chuckling as she did so. Thea found it quite infuriating, really. What could possibly be so funny? She did _not_ look like someone just kicked Peaches, thank you very much. She just had a long day, and she deserved a drink. Or two. Maybe three. Thea didn’t feel like that was asking for too much.

It was quiet for awhile, and Thea looked around, wondering what time it was because the bar appeared to be quite empty. She hadn’t gotten here really late. How long had she been here? She was a little scared that she couldn’t answer that question.

“You know.” Mason’s finger traced over the rim of her glass, “I’ve always wondered why you took such esteemed interest in this little Cayden baby, but now I know why.”

Thea scoffed. “Please enlighten me, Mase.”

“You have a thing for his father.”

Instantly, red painted Thea’s cheeks, up the the apples of her cheeks down to her jaw. She even felt heat on the back of her neck, and she mentally cursed herself for deciding a high ponytail was the good way to go today.

“Wha—no, what?” She stuttered, face hot. “Nah. I don’t… have a thing fo-for him.”

It was absurd, really. A thing. For _Harry_. Absolutely not.

Mason chortled, shaking her head as she examined Thea’s face mockingly. “See, the color of your face tells me otherwise.”

“Stop it right now, Mason.” Thea finished the last of her drink, suddenly feeling quite sober. “You’re mental.”

Mason shrugged with not only her shoulders but her mouth as well. “All right then. Tell me, have you gone formula shopping for any of your other patients?”

“No,” she answered hesitantly before backtracking, “but the mother of his child left him. Give him a break.”

“Fine. Were you ever upset to see any of your other patients be discharged?”

“No, but—”

“How about phone numbers?” Mason raised a single eyebrow high on her forehead. “Do you any of your other patient’s personal contact information for any reasons other than professional?”

“Well, no, but that doesn’t mean—”

Mason cut her off with a pointed stare. “It means everything, Thea.”

Thea began to sulk. “Have I told you that I hate you recently?”

Mason shrugged, sipping her drink nonchalantly. “Not since this morning.”

“Okay, well then, I hate you.”

“Love you, too, sweetcheeks.”

Thea only rolled her eyes, hiding her smile (and fading blush) inside the glass, huffing as if to appear upset.

“What is it about him anyhow?”

Thea turned to Mason, eyebrows furrowed. “Huh?”

“Harry,” she clarified, “what is it about him? What is it that makes him so special?”

That made Thea think. She was too far gone to deny it anymore, and with the twinge of curiosity Mason’s voice held, Thea didn’t think she could not _not_ answer even if she wanted to.

Thea shrugged once. “He has hope. That’s what makes him special. Hope.”

Mason cocked her head to the side. “Hope?”

“Hope.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come say hi to me on tumbr @harry-styleswho xx


	5. when gemma is incorrigible

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> harry’s texts are in bold, thea’s texts are in italics, gemma’s texts are in bold italics

Immediately, she groaned, squeezing her eyes shut in an attempt to block out the beaming morning sun. As she flopped onto the other side of her bed, she made contact with another body, causing her heart to seize and her body to tense.

_Please don’t let there be a stranger in my bed._

_Please, please don’t let there be a stranger in my bed._

Slowly, Thea squinted her eyes open, lifting her head from her pillow (and wincing with the motion) before promptly sagging back into them in relief. Brown curls fanned across the other side of Thea’s bed, pillow laying astray at the end of the bed as the bedsheet laid haphazard at her waist. Thea didn’t have to look at her face to know it was Mason, and she sighed out in relief.

Though, the relief only lasted so long before the drunken tales of last night came tumbling back to her hungover brain. Events came back in pieces of a story, and when one particularly gruesome fragment came swirling back, Thea fumbled for her phone, ignoring the spinning and throbbing sensation in her head.

Her phone was almost dead, and it laid in the space between Mason and Thea. Before Thea could do so much as unlock it, a message pinged through.

**Are you okay?**

The number was unknown, but Thea did enough staring at the paper Gemma gave her yesterday to know exactly who it was. And as her eyes scanned through their messages, she wondered if it was possible to curl up in a ball so tight that you’d disappear.

There were approximately twelve messages Thea sent to him last night, and each message consisted primarily of drunken slurs.

_u letf_

_com e back, mister sytles_

_you didnt say goodbey to me_

_why_

Those four messages were consecutive, and Thea distinctly remembered sending them around her fifth (sixth?) drink. It took Harry about thirty minutes before he responded.

**Thea?**

**Are you drunk?**

_he lives!!_

_yes its thae_

_htea*_

_tea*_

_goddammit thea*_

A twinge of guilt stabbed Thea when she looked at the timestamp of the texts, and it was the early hours of the morning. Precious sleeping time for a father of an almost three month old.

**Where are you? Do you need me to pick you up?**

_nooo mad at u_

His response was instantaneous.

**Why’re you mad at me, Thea?**

_u didtn say bye_

_just left me_

**Thea**

Thea remembered her heart breaking a little when she first read that text the night before. And she wasn’t quite sure why. It was just her name, but for some reason, it spoke volumes to her heart.

**I didn’t want to upset you**

**You seemed really sad after our row and I didn’t want to make it worse**

With the next text, Thea remembered watching the three little dots pop up and disappear before the text actually appeared. Her heart burst a little when she read it.

**I’d never leave you**

Thea didn’t get a chance to respond to that text because as soon as she read it, she promptly passed out on top of her duvet. From the state of her pajama-clad and duvet-covered body, Thea assumed Mason took matters in her own hands once Thea was dead asleep.

Slowly, she scrolled all the way down to the most recent message, and she felt her heart do a little flip at Harry’s concern. It was nearly ten in the morning, and he was checking up on her. He was worried about _her_ , and Thea hated what that did to her heart rate.

_i’m sorry. i’m an idiot. just woke up, safe in sound in my flat_

_again, i am so sorry_

It only took about two minutes for Harry’s response to ping through, and Thea definitely did _not_ impatiently wait for those three bubbles to turn into an actual response.

**Don’t apologize. Just wanted to make sure you were okay**

_i probably shouldn’t be drunk texting my patient’s father though_

**I think it’s safe to say I’m more than just your patient’s father to you**

Thea didn’t even have time to allow her heart to race erratically (even though, it kind of did) before another message came through.

**Because we’re friends right?**

Her heart pounded against her chest wildly as her cheeks burned with color. She felt so juvenile, honestly. She had been friends with people of the opposite sex before. There was no reason to get so _primary_ about it, though in all fairness, Thea was fairly certain she had never met anyone like Harry before in her entire life.

So with burning cheeks and jittering thumbs, she carefully typed out her response.

_yeah we’re friends_

Thea could almost picture the smile on Harry’s face, and that did nothing to cure her erratic heartbeats.

**Good. Have fun nursing that hangover of yours x**

Mason stirred beside Thea, and Thea hadn’t even noticed that she was staring at the ‘x’ Harry had put at the end of his text, mind whirling when Mason spoke up.

“Told you so,” she rasped with a sleep-riddled voice. “ _It means everything,_ Thea.”

* * *

Thea’s response was pushing her off the bed.

It was about half past noon when Mason left the flat. She was going out to lunch with Liam, and she had graciously invited Thea to go with, but Thea declined. It was seldom that Thea had a day off where she had the flat to herself, and she loved Mason immensely, but sometimes a quiet flat was priceless. She had even mastered the skill of overcoming a hangover (being a surgeon meant going into work no matter how you were feeling), so by the time she made her special hangover cure smoothie, showered, and gotten something in her stomach, she was feeling as good as new.

Well, almost as good as new.

The truth was, she wanted nothing more than to lounge at home in the solitude of her flat. Divulge in the peace and quiet of an empty flat. But the peace and quiet, this time around, was anything but, well, peaceful, and Thea felt rather pitiful.

Thea’s phone was in her lap, sitting completely silent, and Thea thought the silence to be almost audible. She pondered if simply texting him would play out right ( _would he think she’s too desperate?_ ), and then she immediately felt like a thirteen year old for overthinking things to this length.

_Why won’t he just text me?_

_Because he’s busy being a father to his ill son_ , a malicious voice in her head told her, and Thea held back a wince. Quickly, she tossed her phone to the side, huffing pathetically. Her eyes met two yellow ones, and she immediately found herself sulking. There was an incredulous look in his eyes. A look he always seemed to have. It made Thea feel like he was constantly judging her, but then again, he probably was.

“Oh, don’t judge me,” Thea hissed at the cat as Peaches jumped from the coffee table onto the couch. He crawled to the other side of the couch before curling up into a ball, and Thea could’ve swore she heard him sigh almost exasperatedly.

 _Great_ , she thought, _now I’m talking to my cat._

Begrudgingly, Thea picked up the remote and flipped on an old episode of _Friends_. She made herself comfortable on the couch, laying her head down on the arm by the side she tossed her phone over. She draped a blanket over herself as Peaches slowly made his way to her, and Thea watched as he curled up in a ball against her chest.

“Oh, so now you’re being nice to me, huh?”

Peaches only purred in response before nuzzling into Thea’s chest. Thea chuckled as she began to gently pet her cat, running her fingers through his long fur.

Slowly but surely, any thoughts of Harry texting her left her mind, and she finally began to feel the peacefulness of the silent flat. Though, the peace only lasted so long before her phone began to ring. The sound of the call scared Peaches, and he jumped, hissing before stalking towards the other end of the couch where he huffed indignantly.

Picking up the phone, Thea saw the caller was unknown, and the number wasn’t one she recognized. Hesitantly, she placed the phone to her ear, answering it.

“Hello?”

“Thea?” Gemma’s voice sounded on the other side, and Thea relaxed. “Oh, thank god you answered. I need your help.”

Thea sat up slowly, eyebrows furrowing and lips tilting down in a frown.

“What is it?” She asked slowly.

“It’s Harry.”

Thea sucked in a breath, minding racing with everything that could be wrong. _Dammit_ , she thought, _I should have texted him._

She squeezed her eyes shut, exhaling roughly. “What about Harry, Gemma?”

“Nothing too serious,” she assured quickly as if sensing Thea’s turmoil, “he just hasn’t answered any of my calls or texts, and I’m getting worried.”

Thea relaxed a little into her couch. “Okay, what do you need me to do?”

“Go to his flat and check on him.” _What?_

Thea’s stomach began to churn, and the only response she could think to say was, “why can’t you do it?” She knew it probably wasn’t the most kind response, but the thought of walking into Harry’s flat uninvited caused her skin to itch uncomfortably.

“Because I’m stuck at work, and if I leave then my boss is going to kill me.” Gemma paused before continuing. “Please just do this. I’m really worried about him. What if there’s something wrong with Cayden?”

Logically, Thea knew there wasn’t anything wrong with Cayden, and if they were, she’d probably be the first to hear about it. Not because Harry trusted her or anything but because she was the one who could _help_ Cayden. Being his doctor and all. And Gemma knew that was the key to chip away at her resolve—bringing Cayden into this.

Thea sighed heavily, shaking her head. “I have to get dressed first.”

“Perfect!” Gemma all but cheered. “Just shoot me a text as soon as you get over there, so I know all is well. Thank you!”

“You’re welcome, Gemma.”

She hung up the phone, stomach feeling as if it had fallen to her feet. A small meow sounded through the flat, and Thea turned to see Peaches’s eyes on her again. His paw came up to scratch his ear before ducking his head down and hiding his face in his paw.

Thea sighed, nodding. “Yeah, me too, buddy.”

* * *

Gemma had texted her Harry’s address, and before Thea could blink, she found herself standing in front of Harry’s door. She simply stared at the wood.

Thea had never seen a door that looked so intimidating in her entire life. And it was as if it really did _look_ intimidating. It was just the average, run of the mill door. Wooden with a metal doorknob. Nothing different or spectacular about it. But it was the fact that Thea knew Harry was just behind that door that made her heart hammer in her chest. The fact that Cayden was also behind that door was what made her raise her hand to knock on it.

She knocked three times before allowing her hand to fall to her side again. It felt like hours had passed when someone finally opened the door, and Thea waited with a bated breath as the door slowly swung open. Though the green eyes that met hers were anything but familiar.

“Can I help you?” The woman spoke kindly when Thea made no effort to speak.

“I- I’m sorry,” Thea stuttered, shaking her head, “it seems I have the wrong flat.”

The woman’s eyes crinkled as her lips curved into a smile. “That’s quite all right, my dear. Perhaps I can point you in the right direction. Who are you looking for?’

“Um, Harry Styles?” The name tingled coming off of Thea’s lips.

The woman cocked her head to the side, though before she could answer, another voice sounded through, and Thea felt a jolt pass through her.

“Mum? Cayden just fell asleep. Where are you?”

Then he came into view, and Thea felt like she could finally breath. He had a baby monitor in his hand, and there were bags under his eyes. His clothes were wrinkled just about everywhere, and Thea wondered when the last time he got a full night’s rest in. But with all that aside, there was a gleam in his eyes as he held tightly onto the baby monitor as if it were a line to him and his son. Thea’s heart fluttered when she realized just how happy Harry was to be home with his son. He was overworked and exhausted, but he was happy.

“Thea?”

Her lips curved in a small smile as she waved awkwardly. “Hi.”

“What are you doing here?” Harry’s brows were furrowed in the middle, and Thea’s cheeks tinted pink. “How did you know where I lived?”

Before Thea had the chance to answer, Harry’s mum was speaking, “Well, invite the poor girl in before you ask her all these questions, Harry.”

Realization dawned on Harry’s face, and he quickly ushered her inside, taking her coat after she slipped it off her body. She smiled at him gratefully, and his eyes lit up. Thea lost her breath for a moment.

“This is my mum, by the way,” Harry said as they made their way into the living room. “Mum, this is Thea. Cayden’s doctor.”

“I’ve heard very nice things about you, Thea.” Harry’s mum smiled sweetly, and Thea’s heart felt warm and simultaneously cold at the same time. This was how mothers were supposed to be. She couldn’t help but wonder what happened to hers. “It’s very nice to meet you.”

Thea smiled. “You as well, Mrs. Styles.”

“It’s Twist,” she informed with a small chuckle. They both sat down on the couch while Harry went to make tea. “I haven’t been a Styles in a long time.”

Thea felt a blush rise up on her cheeks. “Oh, I’m—”

“No need to apologize, dear! And please, call me Anne.”

Thea only nodded, smiling softly.

The two of them kept up a bit of small talk while they waited for Harry to return, and Thea was struck with how easy it was to talk to Anne. She was extremely kind, and her smile was contagious (much like hers son’s), and Thea found herself enjoying the time alone with her. In fact, she was almost a bit disappointed when Harry came back with the teas. But then Harry looked at her and smiled as he handed her- her mug, and the almost-disappointment transformed into butterflies. He sat down on the couch beside her, and the butterflies moved faster.

Easily, the trio struck a conversation, and not once did Thea feel like an unwanted guest. The conversation was light, and she found it easy to partake in. Harry was as kind as ever, filling her mug up with tea every time she emptied it, and she was never one for tea before. Her brother had always made fun of her for it when they were a little. He used to say it was very _un-British_ of her, and that the Queen would be appalled. But drinking Harry’s tea was somehow better, and she suddenly didn’t dislike tea so much anymore. Her brother would be proud, and the thought caused something cold to pierce her heart.

“Are you okay, dear?” Anne asked when Thea had been staring at her tea for far too long.

Thea looked up to see Anne and Harry’s eyes on her. Before she had time to answer, Harry’s hand found the small of her back, and a jolt of electricity replaced the coldness. Thea knew the look on her face caused the concern. It was probably that distant, faraway look she got when she thought of her brother. When she looked over at Harry, his eyes were wide and imploring, searching for whatever it was that made her upset.

Thea cleared her throat, and Harry removed his hand. Thea relaxed. “Nothing, nothing. I’m all right. Just thinking about a few things that need to be done at work.”

“Ah.” Anne nodded, “the hectic life of a doctor, yeah?”

“It’s very hectic, but I love what I do.”

“From what Harry’s told me, you’re quite good at what you do.”

Thea looked over at Harry to see he was suddenly very interested in the carpet. She smiled at that.

“Eh.” She shrugged, “I’m all right. They haven’t fired me yet, so I’m assuming I’m doing all right.”

“You’re saving my grandson’s life,” Anne said, voice kind. “That’s more than just all right, I’d say.”

Thea nodded once. “I’m trying my best.”

“Glad to hear it.” Anne leaned forward to place her mug onto the coffee table. Standing up, she clapped her hands together once. “I should be going. My husband suddenly becomes clueless on how to feed himself around this time. Should probably go fix him up some dinner.”

“So soon?” Harry chimed in, and Thea hated the fact that her heart beat a little faster at the little whine in his voice.

“I’m afraid so, bub. Wouldn’t want that stepdad of yours to starve, would we?”

Harry pouted, and Thea had to stifle a laugh.

“Call me if you need anything, bub.” She leaned down to press a kiss to her son’s forehead, and Harry leaned into the touch, closing his eyes.

Thea felt like she was intruding on the moment, but her heart was much too warm to look away from such a precious scene.

“I will.” He pulled her into a brief hug, “tell Robin that Cayden and I say hi, and that he needs to come over here and meet his grandson.”

Anne smiled warmly as she pulled away. “Oh, I will. I love you.”

“Love you.”

She turned to Thea, surprising her as she pulled her into a hug. “And it was a pleasure meeting you. Thank you for taking care of my son and grandson.”

“Of course,” Thea mumbled against her shoulder.

Anne pulled away, smiling softly. With one last peck to Harry’s cheek, she was making her way towards the door. Harry turned away, watching her go, and he offered her one last wave before turning around to look at Thea.

There was a smile on his lips that Thea had never seen before, and she felt her breath catch a little in her throat at the sight. He was positively beaming. Though Thea was estatic to see him so happy, there was also a twinge in her heart because she’d never felt like that after her mum had left. There was almost heartache and turmoil, but there was never any beaming or happiness.

Thea cleared her throat, tossing her head towards the door. “She’s lovely, Harry.”

“Yeah.” He bobbed his head, placing his empty mug on the coffee table beside Thea’s. “She’s been such an amazing help with Cayden too. It’s been great having her around.”

“I’m sure.”

Harry leaned back against the couch, laying his head down. Thea watched as his eyes fluttered shut for a moment, and her heart clenched because he was _exhausted_. That much she was sure of. Silence soon enveloped the pair. For a moment, Thea was sure Harry had fallen asleep when his voice rang through, quiet and rasped.

“Why’d you come here?”

She leaned forward, eyes scanning his face. His eyes were still closed. The only sign that he was awake was the movement of his chest as it moved up and down in quick motions.

“What do you mean?” She answered his question with another question.

Harry cracked his eyes open. “To my flat. Why’d you come here?”

“You sister was worried about you, so she sent me over to check up on you and Cayden.”

“Gemma?”

Thea nodded.

Harry sat up, eyebrows furrowed. “Why was she worried? I spoke to her on the phone literally an hour before you showed up.”

“But she said you weren’t answering any of her calls or texts…” Thea trailed off, confusion running through her.

Harry only shrugged. “‘m not sure why she said that.”

He stood up then, grabbing the two mugs from the table. He tilted Thea’s mug towards her, silently asking if it was okay to put away. Thea nodded, smiling.

Then Harry left Thea alone with her thoughts. Her mind was racing with reasons Gemma would lie to her, lure her to Harry’s flat without so much as an honest reason why. Then a thought struck her, and she felt her cheeks tint pink.

Though Thea didn’t have much time to contemplate the thought before a noise broke her thoughts.

A high pitch whine sounded from the heart monitor, and Thea leaned forward, hearing the sound again. Picking up the monitor, she stood, teetering in her place. Harry was still in the kitchen, and Thea heard the clanking of dishes, so without a second thought, Thea made her way to Cayden’s nursery.

She made sure to strain her hearing as she walked down the hallway in order to find Cayden. The whine became more prominent the closer she came, and as she opened the door to the nursery, it was developing into a cry. She quickly shushed the air, making her way to his bassinet.

“Hey, bud,” she whispered as she peered over towards him. He was swaddled in a green polka dotted blanket, his face scrunched in a cry, though as soon as he saw Thea, his eyes blinked open, tears streaking the sides. “Oh, are we feeling a little cranky, hmm?”

Cayden let out a long whine, and Thea quickly picked him up, cradling his body to her chest. When he was in her arms, he quieted down, nuzzling into her.

“How about we go find Daddy, yeah?” She leaned down, pressing a kiss to Cayden’s forehead before turning around.

Her steps were soon cut short when she saw Harry leaning in the doorway, and she felt a rush of deja vu.

Thea felt her heart beat a little faster, so she averted her gaze from Harry, looking down at Cayden. “Look, it’s Daddy.”

Harry’s gaze immediately found his son, and he smiled widely. He made his way into the nursery, scooping his hands under Cayden’s back and taking him from Thea’s arms. She felt his touch lightly as he pulled Cayden into his arms, and she tried to ignore the way her skin tingled.

“How was your nap, hmm?” Harry cooed, pressing two kisses to his forehead. “Did you sleep well, sweet boy?”

Thea felt her heart constrict. “Harry? Can I tell you something?”

He looked up at her, eyebrows furrowing. She chose not address how familiar this moment was between them.

“Sure,” he said, nodding, “what’s going on?

Briefly, Thea’s eyes found the carpet, taking a deep breath before looking up at Harry again.

“Look, I know this may be a touchy subject with what happened yesterday and whatnot.” Her eyes flashed down to Cayden to find his eyes wide as he stared up at his father. His hand moved to grasp onto Harry’s chin, and Harry gently pried his fingers away, smiling down at his son and kissing the baby’s fingers. “But I think we may have found a way to help Cayden’s condition.”

Harry’s head shot up, eyes wide as he looked at Thea. “What? Y-You have?”

Thea nodded silently.

“Well, what is it?”

“It’s not anything definite, but we think cell growth may help,” she informed. “That way, we can patch up the holes in his heart without the damage and recovery of a transplant.”

“So, my son is going to live?” His voice cracked with emotion as he looked down at Cayden. Thea was certain her heart cracked a little.

“We’re hoping so.”

Harry nodded once, looking up from Cayden to Thea. There were tears in his eyes, and Thea felt her own eyes sting at the sight. “Okay.”

And that seemed like enough.

* * *

Two hours later, Thea found herself in a majorly domestic situation, and her heart felt very alight at the thought. She had a baby cradled to her chest with one arm as she stirred the pot of mac and cheese, mixing the two components together.

“Is it done?” Harry walked towards her, carrying the bowl of salad he mixed. He leaned forward, sniffing the pasta. “Mmm, smells good, Thea.”

She ignored the heat in her belly at his noise of approval.

“It’s done!” She declared, smiling. At that moment, Cayden began shoving his fist in his mouth, gnawing on it as he whined. “Looks like you’re not the only one that’s hungry either. Like father like son.”

Harry looked down to Cayden, chuckling. “Here, give him to me. I’ll feed him.”

He reached his arms out for Cayden, but Thea shook her head, turning to the side to keep him out of reach. “I’ve got it. You eat, mister.”

“Thea, no—”

“Are there bottles in the fridge?”

“Yes, but—”

“Perfect, go make yourself a plate.”  
  
She made sure to keep Cayden cradled to her chest as she made her way to the fridge. Plucking a bottle from its confines, she moved towards the sink, running the hot water and filling a bowl up with it. She then placed the bottle in the bowl of hot water.

“What’re you doing?” Harry asked as he finished scooping salad onto his plate.

“Heating Cayden’s bottle.”

“What about the microwave?”

Thea looked at him. “That’s not very safe. The microwave heats the milk unevenly, so there’s always a chance that the middle portion can be hotter than the top. It could burn Cayden’s mouth.”

Harry turned sheepish. “Oh.”

“But there’s also nothing wrong with giving him cold formula milk too.” Thea felt the need to comfort Harry. “I’ve just always heated bottles up this way for my patients.”

“You know,” he said, eyes finding her. “Sometimes, it’s really embarrassing how much I don’t know about babies even though I’m the father of one.”

Thea shook her head. “No, don’t say that. You’re a first time parent, I can promise you there’s nothing wrong with not knowing everything,” she promised, smiling lightly. “You’ll learn as you go. That’s how it works.”

Harry seemed to contemplate that before he smiled, nodding his head. “You’re right. Now give me my son, so I can feed him.”

“Hush, you.” She already had the bottle in her hand, holding Cayden with one arm against your chest. “You boys will eat first, and then I’ll eat. Okay?”

Harry opened his mouth to object, but Thea acted quickly, sitting down at the table and gently placing the bottle at Cayden’s mouth. Harry only chuckled, shaking his head as he picked up his plate and took a seat across from Thea.

“You’re too stubborn for your own good.”

She looked up from Cayden, smirking. “Like I haven’t heard _that_ before.”

Thea looked back down to Cayden, smiling softly as his eyes fluttered closed while he ate. The entire time, she could feel Harry’s eyes on her, and it only made her smile grow.

* * *

“Did he fall asleep all right?”

Harry strolled back into the living room, smiling when he locked eyes with Thea.

“He was out like a light,” he told her. “Pretty sure we should have you over more often. He likes you. You calm him down.”

Thea tried to pretend that comment didn’t made her insides heat up. “It’s my job to calm little ones.”

“Well, you do a hell of a job, let me tell you.”

Thea smiled, shaking her head as she stood up. “I should probably get going. It’s getting late.”

“Right.” Harry nodded his head, “I’ll walk you out.”

The pair made their way to the door, and Harry grabbed her coat, helping her slip it on her body. Though Harry still didn’t let go of her coat even as she turned around, his grip only moved to the lapels of the coat, his fists gripped tightly.

“Thea,” he whispered, and his voice was raw with emotion. Thea felt her head spin with the proximity. He was _close_.

Thea looked up to Harry, and her breath caught in her throat with how close they were. She could see every fleck of gold in his eyes, the green shining so bright. There were crinkles beside his eyes from the smiles he held throughout the years. The dark circles under her eyes were so prominent, and Thea felt her hand moving on its own accord, tracing the spot with her fingertips. Harry’s eyes fluttered at the touch before she allowed her hand to drop. Her eyes greedily took in every detail of Harry’s face, afraid that if she looked away, he’d disappear. She found herself lost in the moment, lost in Harry. And without a second thought, she began leaning forward, Harry mirroring her motions. They were just a centimeter apart when—

“We can’t,” he breathed, and he was so close to her that Thea could feel his words on her lips. “We can’t, Thea.”

She squeezed her eyes shut, tilting her head down. “I know.”

“I’ve got a son to think of now, and you’re his doctor. I just- we can’t go there.”

“I know.” Thea nodded.

“We’re still friends, right?” Harry’s voice pleaded, as if he couldn’t stand Thea saying no and walking out that door forever. She couldn’t, though, even if she wanted to.

Thea nodded, smiling. “We’re still friends.”

* * *

Thea’s heart was racing when the door closed behind her. Her skin tingled from where Harry had touched, and there was a hazy feeling in her head as if she was drunk all over again. It was a different kind of drunk, though. She felt like she was flying as she recalled the feeling of Harry’s breath of her lips.

Suddenly, she lost the will to keep herself standing, and she soon found herself leaning against the door she just exited. Running her fingers through her hair, Thea pulled her phone from her pocket, her heart hammer and brain buzzing.

She quickly pulled up a new message.

_so you were worried about your brother huh?_

Gemma’s reply came almost instantly.

**_Did I say worried? Huh, I must’ve misspoke… ;)_ **

_you’re incorrigible_

**_I’m something, alright._ **

Thea could only laugh, shaking her head and pocketing her phone.

All the way home, she couldn’t help but think that the Styles family was definitely going to be the death of her.

* * *

Thea came home to see Mason sitting on the couch, watching their chosen show _Friends_. When Thea walked through the door, Mason’s attention on the show was long forgotten as she whipped around to look at Thea. She must’ve scared Peaches, who was sleeping in her lap, because the cat soon hissed, leaping up from the couch and stalking elsewhere.

“Finally, you’re home,” Mason huffed out. “I was about to send a search party out for you.”

Thea snorted. “Yeah, it sure looks like you were.”

“Hush now.” She rolled her eyes. “Where were you anyhow?”

“Harry’s.”

Mason’s eyebrows shot up on her forehead as every ounce of attention she had on _Friends_ was allocated to Thea.

“You went to Harry’s?” She questioned slowly, eyeing Thea as she made her made towards Mason. “And may I ask why?”

“Because his sister tricked me.”

Mason nodded. “Right, ‘course.”

Thea plopped down on the couch beside her. Her heart had since calmed down, but as her mind thought back to those green eyes, it began to pick up its pace again.

“Mason,” she sighed, covering her face with her hands. “I think I’m totally screwed.”

“Oh, hon, I’ve been telling you that from day one.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come say hi to me on tumbr @harry-styleswho. tpwk xx


	6. when doctor avery is away

There was a ringing sound that surfaced through the dark, and at first, Thea swore it was just her dream. But as she slowly began to be pushed from her sleeping state, she realized the ringing was, in fact, very real. Her eyes jolted open, head whipping around to find the source of the cacophony, and her eyes landed on her phone that sat on her nightstand.

For a moment, Thea contemplated leaving the call be, but then her mind teased her with thoughts of the caller being Harry, and she quickly picked up the phone.

“Hello?” Her voice cracked at the second syllable, exhaustion slipping through.

“Hey, big sis.”

It definitely _wasn’t_ Harry.

Whatever exhaustion she had felt was suddenly gone, replaced with a plethora of emotion as she quickly sat up. Her head spun with her abrupt motions, but she ignored it. Her heart began to beat faster in her chest, and her breathing picked up its pace as well.

“Will?” The name felt foreign on her tongue.

“Who else would be calling you _big sis_?” He chuckled on the other end. Thea could picture the infamous smirk he always wore adorned on his lips. “Did mum and dad pop out another poor unfortunate soul?”

Thea closed her eyes for a moment, dwelling in the sound of her brother’s voice. She felt tears prick at the corner of them before she took a deep breath, steadying herself.

“I don’t think even mum and dad are daft enough to do _that_.”

Will chuckled, and Thea suddenly felt like the world was the tiniest bit better. “Very true.”

There was silence after that, and Thea could physically see all the humor and light-heartedness slowly dissipate. A serious feeling filled her, and she wished, briefly, that her brother was calling her to simply _call her_. She wondered if he missed her as much as she missed him. If he thought about her as much as she though about him. She wished their relationship was easier, better, but it wasn’t, so she’d take whatever relationship she could get. The kind where he called because he needed something, and Thea would always give in.

She was his big sister, after all.

With a deep breath, she finally spoke, “Why’re you calling, Will?”

“What? Can’t I call my big sister to catch up without any ulterior motives?” He tried to keep the humor in his voice, though Thea could hear the edge in it.

Thea put her older sister voice on. “Will.”

“Okay, fine,” he sighed out. “I, uh, I need a little help in the finance department.”

Thea nodded once as if she wasn’t all that surprised. Because well, she wasn’t really.

“And calling at three in the morning was the proper time to ask me for money?” She knew her tone was a little harsh, but she figured it was warranted.

Will didn’t say a word.

“How much do you need?”

There was a pause before, “Five hundred pounds.”

“Jesus, Will,” Thea hissed out, head falling into her hand. “Why the bloody hell do you need that much?”

“I- I just do, Thea. Please—”

“Have you talked to mum and dad about it?”

“You know that’s not an option.” He was quick to cut her off, his voice hard as it always was when their parents were brought up.

Thea took a moment to collect herself, breathing in and out for a few moments at a time. Her hand came up to rub at her eyes, and that was when she realized how tired she truly was. There was a heaviness in her eyes that caused them to droop, but her mind was in permanent turmoil that caused them to never fully shut.

“I’ll put it in your account on Friday, okay? Just hold out for two more days.”

A sigh of relief sounded against Thea’s ear. “Thank you, Thea. Thank you so much.”

“I swear to whatever higher being there is, Will, if this money is for something illegal, I’ll—”

“Oh, come on, sis.” The humor was back in his voice. Thea hadn’t missed it. “You know I don’t do that kind of stuff anymore.”

“Goodnight, William.”

Thea could hear the smirk in his voice. “‘Night, big sis.”

* * *

After her call with Will, Thea couldn’t find it in herself to fall back asleep. She laid in bed for hours, fingers toying with the end of her duvet as her mind raced. There was exhaustion coursing through her body, but every time she’d close her eyes, her mind raced even more. Argo, sleep became rather futile. And each one of her thoughts consisted of her brother under esteemed duress, and she couldn’t do anything about it.

Why would he need so much money?

What was it for?

Even with all this emotional turmoil, Thea was still going to give him the money. He needed her help, and she would always help him.

And with all of that taken into consideration, Thea obviously got little to no sleep last night. So, it was safe to say the next morning, Thea was pretty much dead on her feet. And she’d actually show it if she weren’t a surgeon, so working on two hours of sleep was something she was used to. A cup of coffee being the permanent extension of her arm was a constant normality, so her work didn’t suffer one bit.

So, Thea did what she did best. She pushed whatever she was worrying about (read: Will) far from her mind, and she threw herself into her work, because if she couldn’t properly save her brother, at least she could save someone else.

Thea had a patient’s chart gripped in her hand as she made her way to his room. His name was Luke Michaelson, and he was thirteen years old. For the past three years, Luke has suffered from leukemia, and Thea wanted nothing more than to see him healthy again.

Thea gave one glance at his chart before she pushed his door open, stepping through.

“Hey, Dr. G.” Luke smiled weakly, albeit his eyes did light up when he caught sight of Thea, “I think I’m feeling better today.”

He didn’t look any better. His complexion was a shade of light grey, eyes sunken in with numerous shades of dark circles underneath. The skin on his body was stretched tightly over him, and it accented every one of his bones. He was much too thin; he was much too sick, and he was dying. But there was always a spark in his eyes, whenever he looked at someone he cared for. His mum and dad. His little sister. Thea. But whenever the person he was looking at looked away, Thea always saw his face transform into something akin to brief agony. It was a look a thirteen year old should never wear.

Thea plastered a smile on her face, nodding at his mum who sat in the corner with his little sister.

“Do you now?” Luke nodded happily, before closing his eyes briefly. The movement probably made his head rushed. “Well, let me check out a few things, and I’ll be the judge of that. Yeah?”

“Oh, come on, it’s not like I’m dying or anything.” He smirked, and Thea’s mind flashed to Will. The humor in his voice, the lopsided smile, it was all so Will. The pain in her chest grew. “Is Dr. Avery gonna be here today?”

“Not today, little man, but she sends her best.”

Luke smiled.

Thea moved towards his bedside, whipping her stethoscope from her neck. His heartbeat was steady, which was good. Checking his temperature, she took note that it was a degree over normal, but she figured it wasn’t anything extreme. His chemotherapy was probably responsible for that.

“Have you been feeling really tired lately, Luke?” She asked kindly.

He shook his head. “Not anymore than usual.”

Thea hummed, jotting down on his chart. “Well, that’s very good.”

Luke smiled proudly.

“All right, Luke, I’m going to need you to rest.” She smiled warmly, and Luke mirrored her expression. “Can you do that for me?”

He shrugged, smile transforming into _that_ smirk. “Well, it’s not like I have anywhere else to be.”

Thea rolled her eyes. “I’ll check on you later, Mr. Sassypants.”

The sound of Luke’s laughter made her smile wide as she walked out of the room.

* * *

Thea was having lunch with Liam and Niall three hours and a half later when she got the page.

The lunch had started out normal enough, and Liam had even told Thea that he had made some great strides in the cell growth theory for Cayden.

“You have?” Her voice squeaked towards the end, and Niall unapologetically mocked her. She glared at him.

Liam nodded, ignoring his friends’ immaturities. “I have. I think if we use Cayden’s DNA to form the cells, there shouldn’t be a reason why he would reject—”

Liam’s words were cut short when a pager sounded through. All three of them check their pagers, but Thea was one to jump from her seat, running out of the cafeteria and barely offering Liam or Niall anything as simple as a goodbye.

Thea was at Luke’s room before she could even blink. She barged in, taking notice in the room full of nurses and interns. Luke was laying in his bed, unconscious.

“What happened?” She demanded as she whipped her stethoscope from her neck. Placing it in her ears, she put the end of it to Luke’s chest, moving it from either sides of his chest. His heartbeat was weak. Each of his breaths came out in a wheeze of some sort. “There are three nurses in this room and two interns, and no one can answer my question? Can someone please do their job?”

“He started coughing up blood then he passed out.” An intern spoke up, a nervous edge in her voice.

“Shit,” Thea hissed under her breath, hand moving to Luke’s forehead. “He’s burning up. I need a blood test taken immediately. He may have some kind of infection.”

When she turned around, she saw the head pediatrics nurse nodding her head. She moved beside Thea, taking a small sample of Luke’s blood before placing it in a vial.

“Page me as soon as the results come in.”

The nurse nodded before scurrying off.

“He needs cool cloths on his skin. We need to break this fever quick.”

Nurses and interns scurried, placing cloth after cloth onto Luke’s skin. His chest was moving far too slow for Thea’s liking.

“Dr. Grace.” Thea’s head whipped around at the sound of her name. Luke’s mum was standing in the doorway, a young toddler on her hip and a frightened expression on her face. “Wh-what’s going on?”

Thea mentally cursed. “Mrs. Michaelson, can I speak with you outside? You can give your daughter to one of the nurses. They’ll look after her.”

Hesitantly, Luke’s mum handed her toddler off to one of the nurses, who took the little girl willingly, speaking to her in quiet, happy tones as she walked out of the room. Mrs. Michaelson followed the nurse with her eyes, watching until her daughter disappeared from her sight then her eyes were back on Luke. He was fully covered in damp clothes at the point, the thickest one residing on his forehead. Her eyes trailed up and down her son’s body, and Thea could almost see the realization hit her.

“Mrs. Michaelson,” she said softly, placing her hand on the woman’s upper arm. “Why don’t we discuss this outside?”

Luke’s mum only nodded her head wordlessly. As Thea directed her out the door, she turned her head, keeping her eyes locked on her son the entire way out. It wasn’t until the both of them were standing outside the hospital room that she finally looked at Thea.

“What’s going on?” She demanded, but her voice broke, dismissing the anger hidden beneath. “What’s going on with my son?”

Thea inhaled a large breath before nodding, steadying himself.

“As you know, Luke’s leukemia causes his body to produce abnormal leukocytes, or white blood cells,” Thea said, keeping her tone professional, “which suppresses the production of normal blood cells, and that’s why his body is so weak when it comes to fighting infections.”

“Right.” Mrs. Michaelson nodded slowly. “But I thought the medication he was taking was supposed to help with that. Fighting infections and whatnot.”

“It was supposed to help,” Thea agreed, tilting her head to the side, “but it wasn’t going to help one hundred percent. Just a little boost, but there’s still holes in his infection-fighting abilities. And that means his body can only take _so_ much.”

“So,” she said quietly. “What does this mean? What does that have to do with his condition now?”

Throughout her years as a surgeon, Thea had come to find that those were the worst words to fall from a parent’s lips. Typically, nothing ever uplifting followed those words, and Thea hated being the person to deliver terrible news. But being a surgeon, sometimes, wasn’t a very uplifting job.

“We’re testing his blood at the moment, but it’s not looking very good. I believe he’s contracted a fairly intense lung infection, though I’m not sure what kind.” She paused before saying, “I’m sorry.”

Mrs. Michaelson didn’t respond, but her face paled, and she looked as if someone had just delivered a mighty punch to her gut.

“How long does he have?”

Thea was wrong. Those were the worst words to fall from a parent’s lips.

“I’m not sure yet,” she said honestly. “We’ll have more of an idea when the test results come back.”

Mrs. Michaelson didn’t respond, only nodding once before slipping back into Luke’s room. Thea watched as she walked up to her son’s bed, sitting down on the side and taking ahold of his limp hand. The glisten of tears were hard to miss, and Thea, for a moment, hated her job.

* * *

Thea was filling out a chart at the nurses’ station when the head nurse slapped Luke’s tests results down on the table. Her eyes drifted up to the nurse’s face, and it was solemn. She nodded once before disappearing from Thea’s line of sight.

Slowly, and with steady fingers (because that’s essential for a surgeon), Thea picked up the test results.

Then her heart sank, and the paper fell from her grasps.

She wasn’t quite sure how long she stood there. Her mind went blank as she stared emotionlessly straight ahead. All she could think was _I can’t save him_ over and over again. Her head ached, and her stomach churned.

She had failed Luke.

It wasn’t until an intern tapped on Thea’s shoulder that she realized she had stiffened up. When Thea turned around, the intern was staring at her, wide eyed.

“Are- are you okay, Dr. Grace?” The young girl squeaked, and Thea wanted to feel touched, but she only felt annoyed.

“I’m fine,” she snapped. “Go check on some patients.”

The girl nodded quickly before scurrying off, and Thea only shook her head, glancing down towards the test results for a moment before grabbing Luke’s chart and walking away.

It took Thea exactly thirty seconds to get Luke’s room, but it felt like so much longer. In fact, she wished it was longer. She needed to gather her thoughts, but soon she was standing outside of Luke’s room, and she had no excuse not to walk in.

Thea walked into the room, seeing Mrs. Michaelson fast asleep in the chair at her son’s bedside. Her arms were folded as her head rested on top. Luke’s chest was moving just as slowly as before, the wheezing in each of his breaths getting louder.

Slowly, Thea walked up to his bed, gently tapping his mother on the shoulder.

“Mrs. Michaelson.”

The woman jolted awake, eyes wide and immediately drifting to Luke to scan his body for any signs of danger. When she saw nothing, her gaze moved to Thea.

“Oh, Dr. Grace.” She offered a polite smile, but Thea could see right through it. “Has there been any news?”

Thea gripped Luke’s chart tighter in her hands. “The test results have come back.”

Her posture straightened out. “And?”

“And,” Thea repeated, sighing softly as she spoke, “Luke has developed an extreme case of chronic bronchitis.”

For a brief moment, there was a look of relief on Mrs. Michaelson’s face, though it soon transformed to its prior sorrow when she saw the look on Thea’s face hadn’t changed.

“So, he gets an inhaler, right?” She tried to stay optimistic. “That’s something that can be treated?”

Thea bobbed her head from side to side. “Yes, it can, but with Luke’s condition, I’m afraid any treatment would be futile.”

Luke’s mum entire demeanor deflated. Her shoulder, which were once held up high, fell in on themselves, and Thea watched as her expression collapsed. Then the look transformed into anger.

Her voice was cold as she spoke. “You’re giving up on my son?”

Thea didn’t take any offense to that. She was used to parents blaming her for any tragedy that their children go through. Being the masochist that Thea was, she even welcomed the blame. Sometimes (most of the times), she even blamed herself.

“No, of course not,” she insisted, because she’d never give up on any of her patients. “But his body seems to be regressing from its chemo treatment, and the state of his lungs aren’t helping matters either.”

Mrs. Michaelson didn’t say a word.

“We’ll give him oral steroids to help with the bronchitis,” Thea spoke gently. She looked over to Luke, seeing the way his chest rose and fell slowly. Thea’s heart hurt. “But we’re going to stop to the chemotherapy. His body is no longer responding to any cancer treatments.”

Luke’s mum nodded slowly. “How long does he have?”

Thea barely held back a flinch.

“Three weeks.”

Mrs. Michaelson’s breath hitched, and her gaze was solely focused on her son. Her chest began to move quicker. Thea could tell she was trying to hold it together, so she carefully began to walk away.

“I’ll make sure the nurses bring your daughter back.” Thea paused at the door. “I’m very sorry, ma’am. Luke is a very kind young boy. I really wish there was something I could do to save him.”

A sob broke through Mrs. Michaelson’s lips before she could stop it. Her hand moved to cover her mouth, and Thea watched as the woman slowly broke down in front of her. Tears fell down her cheeks as she stared at her unmoving son, as if begging him to wake up and look at his mother. Comfort her and promise her that he’d be okay.

Thea wished she could tell her that her son would live a long and happy life. That he would be able to feel love then feel its tragic sting. He’d be able to grow and learn, and he’d be able to marry and have kids of his own. She wished she could tell her that Luke would watch his children and grandchildren grow up. That he’d be able to grow old with the person he loved. Thea wished she could tell her that her son wouldn’t be perpetually stuck at the age of thirteen. A tragic soul doomed much too young. Thea wished this wasn’t her everyday life. She wished she didn’t watch those who were much too young leave this earth before they were ready. She wished the world was better.

And more than anything, Thea wished she could save them all.

And so, it was with a choked breath that Thea whispered, “I’m sorry,” once more before she swiftly exited the room, finding solitude in an empty closet where she lost herself to her sorrows.

* * *

After her shift, Thea found herself sitting in Luke’s room once again. He had woken up earlier today, and his mother was there to tell him what was going on. He didn’t cry. In fact, he didn’t say a word, only stared off into the distance until he fell asleep again. He hadn’t woken up since.

Thea was beginning to leave the hospital after a ten hour shift. Her head was hurting, and her feet ached, but when Mrs. Michaelson asked her to stay and sit with Luke while she went home to put Luke’s little sister to bed, Thea agreed immediately.

So, two hours later, Thea found herself sitting in the chair right beside Luke’s bedside, watching as he slept soundly.

Her stomach was just beginning to growl, and she realized that she hadn’t eaten anything all day, when a nurse walked in to check on Luke’s vitals.

“Would you mind keeping an eye on him while I go grab something to eat?” Thea asked the nurse, and the nurse nodded her head.

“Of course.”

Thea shuffled up, making her way out of the room. It took approximately three minutes to get to the cafeteria from Luke’s room, and Thea was fairly certain she yawned about ten times in the span of those one hundred and eighty seconds. As she shuffled into the cafeteria, a huge yawn had overtaken Thea’s face, and it was so big that she almost missed the head of curly hair that was sitting at a table.

His hair was pulled into a bun, and he was wearing a tattered white tee shirt and a pair of black skinny jeans. He was staring down at the cup of tea in his hands as he yawned widely, and Thea couldn’t help but relate.

She walked up to his table after plucking a bag of crisps from the front, taking in the vacant cafeteria. For a brief moment, she wondered what time it was.

“Harry?”

He looked up from his tea, eyes wide before relaxing when he realized it was Thea.

“Hey.” He smiled, motioning for her to take seat across from him. She does.

“I didn’t know you’d be here.” She thought for a moment. “Where’s Cayden?”

“He’s getting some tests done, and they wouldn’t let me stay in the room with him.” Harry paused for a moment. “And I texted you to say that we were coming, did you not get it?”

Thea sighed heavily. “It’s, uh, it’s been a rough day. Haven’t had much time too look at my phone.”

Harry’s brows furrowed in concern. “What happened today, Thea?”

If it were anyone else, Thea wasn’t so sure she’d want to talk about it. Explain her failure and wallow in her self pity, but it was Harry, and there was something about him that made her feel… _comforted_. And she figured if she couldn’t trust Harry, she couldn’t trust anyone.

And there was also a part of her that sang out in relief because she had been so worried that things would be awkward between the two of them after what happened at Harry’s flat two nights ago. The almost-kiss. Words couldn’t describe how heartbroken Thea would be if she suddenly didn’t have Harry or Cayden in her life. They’d only been apart of it for almost three months, but somehow, she could no longer picture her life without them.

The man with hope and the baby boy who brings hope.

“There’s a thirteen year old boy I’ve been treating—Luke.” Thea told Harry, and his eyes bored into hers, hanging onto her every word. “He’s had leukemia for three years now, and his body is starting to reject all treatments, and he’s got a really back lung infection, and I— I just- I can’t save him.”

It was the moment she stopped speaking, watching Harry’s face transform into that of concern, she realized she was rambling. Her cheek burned a slight pink as she looked down.

“Thea,” Harry whispered gently, and she was pretty sure her heart broke even more in that instance, “this isn’t your fault. You can’t save everyone.”

Thea shook her head. “You’d say otherwise if it was _your_ child I couldn’t save.”

Harry’s sucked in a sharp breath, and Thea felt her heart drop.

 _Shit_.

“I’m sorry,” she immediately apologized, eyes wide. Harry was avoiding her gaze, staring at his tea as it sloshed around in his cup. “I- I didn’t mean that.”

He shook his head. “It’s fine. I understand.”

“I really didn’t—”

“Thea,” Harry interrupted her. “It’s fine, really. I know you didn’t mean it. You care about Cayden, I know that.”

It was silent between the two of them for a brief moment, and then a thought struck Thea.

“And you know the worst part of it all,” she said into the silent air, shaking her head, “Luke reminds me of my younger brother.”

Interest piqued on Harry’s face as he cocked his head to the side. “I didn’t know you had a brother.”

Thea only nodded. “He’s eighteen now, but I haven’t seen him since he was sixteen.”

“Why? What happened?”

Thea suddenly didn’t very hungry anymore even though she hadn’t eaten anything all day. Her mind flashed back to the moment where Will stormed out of their home in the middle of the night. There were tears coursing down his cheeks, and Thea remembered trying to go after him. She couldn’t bear to leave him all alone. She called an endless amount of times. She screamed at her parents, called them heinous things, and then she was gone. She hadn’t been back to her childhood home since.

“Will’s gay, and when he came out to our parents when he was sixteen, they flipped, kicked him out, and he’s been living on his own ever since.” Thea paused for a brief moment. “Him and I didn’t talk for a little over a year, because he was upset with me for actually pursuing the medical field. He said I was giving in to our parents, and that I was betraying him. But I never saw it as giving in to my parents, I always wanted to be a doctor, not for them, but for me.”

Harry leaned forward, listening intently to Thea’s every word.

“I was always the one to take care of Will when we were little.” She smiled faintly at the memory. “Our parents were… well, our parents. So, for the most part, it was always Will and me, and I was always the one there if he got scraped up after riding his bike, had the flu or the sniffles, I was always there. And I don’t know… maybe that’s why I became a doctor. Taking care of people, kids, is just something I’m used to.”

“Are you and Will talking now?” Harry seemed honestly interested.

Thea nodded. “He calls when he needs something, and I’m always the one there.”

“You still take care of him.” Harry spoke the words as a fact rather than a question.

“I always will.”

There was a pause, and Harry looked down to his tea for a moment. Thea plucked a crisp from her bag, munching on it slowly as she waited for Harry to speak up again.

After sometime, he finally looked up, and there was esteemed sincerity in his eyes. “He’ll be okay, Thea.”

“Who?” She asked. “Luke or Will?”

“Both.”

For a moment, Thea wondered if Cayden belonged in that category of being okay. If Harry believed Cayden belonged there.

She hoped _she_ did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come say hi to me on tumbr @harry-styleswho. tpwk xx


	7. when harry meets luke

“No.”

Thea looked up from buttering her toast, a definite frown gracing her lips as she furrowed her eyebrows over at Mason. It was barely eight in the morning, and Thea hadn’t gotten home until only a few short hours prior. Which meant she hadn’t even had an entire cup of coffee yet, so it probably wasn’t the best time to start a conversation with her (well, that is, if one valued their life). She spent the entirety of her night at the hospital to keep an eye on Luke while his mum actually got a decent night’s rest in her own bed. The only reason Thea came home was for a jumbo-sized cup of coffee and a proper shower before the start of her next shift.

“Excuse me?” Thea asked with a mouthful of rye toast. She contemplated adding jam, but quickly thought against it when adding the walk to the refrigerator into the mix.

Mason cocked her hip out, giving Thea her best _mum look_. “You’re not giving your brother five hundred pounds. _No_.”

Thea roughly swallowed her breakfast. “How the bloody hell did you know about that?”

“A reminder went off on your phone for tomorrow, and I saw it.”

Thea mentally cursed.

When Mason could tell Thea wasn’t going to respond, she continued. “Do you even _have_ five hundred pounds to give to Will? Who, by the way, never calls you unless he needs something. Just thought I’d point that out.”

“I’ll make do.” Thea shrugged, placing her now empty plate in the sink. She plucked her mug of coffee from the counter, taking three generous gulps.

“You’ll _make_ _do_.” Mason gave Thea a look of incredulous. “You’re a first year resident for fuck’s sake, Thea. How are you going to _make_ _do_?”

Thea sighed heavily. “I just will. He’s my brother, Mase. I have a duty to care for him.”

“Oh yeah?” Mason laughed emotionlessly, shaking her head. “What about his duty to you? You’ve got loans to pay off. You don’t make enough bloody money to be supplying your brother’s drug addiction.”

Something inside of Thea burst, and she whipped around, narrowing her gaze at Mason.

“Hey!” She barked, voice venomous as her sisterly instincts took over. “Don’t do that. You know damn well Will isn’t like that.”

“Honestly, I don’t, Thea. We’ve know each other for, what, six years, and in that time, I’ve never met your brother. Not once. But I’ve met your angel of a mother several times.” Mason voice was laden in sarcasm.

“What does that have to do with anything?”

Mason gave Thea a look. “It means your mother may be a witch, but at least she checks up on you. When was the last time Will did?”

Thea felt those word sting, skin prickling in the worst way possible. She stared at Mason. Her mind whirling, though every part of her was waiting for Mason to take it back. Take back the sting and the pain.

But she never did.

Thea wanted to tell Mason that her mum didn’t check up on her. Not really, at least. She checked up on the hospital, on Thea’s status at the hospital. She checked to make sure Thea wasn’t butchering the Grace name like Will had, in Maria’s so humble opinion. Thea’s mum was never really checking up on her. Maria never checked up on Thea’s wellbeing. She was a businesswoman, after all. She was solely worried about the family name.

And Thea wanted to tell Mason all of this, but the words were lodged in her throat, unable to move free.

“You’re a good person, Thea,” Mason finally said when Thea didn’t speak. Her voice was a lot softer than it was mere moments before. “Some would even say you’re _too_ good. But when your goodness starts to harm you then there’s a problem.”

“Helping my brother isn’t harming me.”

Mason shrugged. “Five hundred pounds is a lot of money.”

“I understand that.”

“Well.” Mason rolled her eyes up towards the ceiling, clearly exasperated. “As long as you _understand_ _that_.”

And then she was gone, leaving Thea by herself to contemplate exactly what the hell just happened.

* * *

“What the bloody hell is that?”

Harry blinked once before looking down at his beverage that Thea was staring disgustedly at. Her nose was scrunched up, lips frowning and eyebrows pulling together.

Thea had gotten his text just as she made it into the hospital. After her disagreement with Mason (she _refused_ to call it a fight), she was more than happy to get out of that flat, even if she was only there for no more than thirty minutes. And she was even more thrilled to know that Harry and Cayden hadn’t left. Liam and Dr. Avery wanted to keep them overnight to run a bit more tests.

“Uh.” Harry frowned down at his drink. “A smoothie?”

“But it’s green.”

Harry rolled his eyes, watching Thea as she sat down across from him. The cafeteria was vacant except for the both of them.

“It’s a _kale_ smoothie, Althea.”

Thea’s face scrunched up at the sound of her real name. “Well, it looks bloody awful.”

“You’re a pediatrics doctor, for Christ’s sake. That’s a doctor for _kids_.”

“I’m well aware of my job, Harold.”

Harry pulled a face. “That’s not even my name. And I’m just saying, aren’t you supposed to be promoting healthy foods?”

“Maybe to my patients.” Thea shrugged her shoulders. “But personally, I say life’s too short to be drinking _green_ smoothies.”

A smile quirked Harry’s lips as he finished the last bit of his smoothie. Thea cringed at the slurping sound, and Harry watched her with an amused look on his face. She didn’t say anything, only watching as he stood to deposit the now empty cup in the rubbish bin.

“How’s Cayden?” She finally asked when Harry was seated.

He plucked at a piece of straw wrapped, flicking it elsewhere. “He’s fine. Personally, I don’t like seeing him so hooked up to all those machines, but I know it’s for the best. He doesn’t seem to mind at all.”

“That’s good.”

Harry nodded. “Yeah, I’m just ready to take him home.”

“I’m sure.” Thea’s voice was empathetic. “Do you want me to check on him?”

“No.” Harry shook his head, “thank you, though. Dr. Avery was just about done last time I checked on him.”

Thea nodded her head, watching as Harry parted his lips to speak before promptly closing them. His cheeks flushed a bright pink color, and Thea was extremely curious to hear what caused that kind of reaction.

She narrowed her eyes at him, scrunching up her nose. “What?”

“I, uh,” Harry stuttered as he suddenly became really interested in the table. “I was just going to say that I- I didn’t want you to go anywhere.” He flushed an even deeper pink. “Um, I want you to stay here.”

Thea suddenly became very aware of her heart pounding, then pounding even harder.

“Okay.” She bit her lip, trying to stifle her smile.

Harry nodded once, cheeks slightly less pink. “Okay.”

He looked away after that, clearing his throat loudly before looking down to his lap. Briefly, Thea wondered what else she could do to keep that blushed color on his cheeks. The color was beautiful against his alabaster skin tone, accenting the green in his eyes. In that moment, Thea realized just how truly beautiful Harry Styles was. Yes, he was always attractive, but there was a difference between attractive and beautiful. Thea hadn’t know the difference until now.

“So.” Harry’s voice broke when he spoke, cheeks tinting another marvelous pink color as he cleared his throat. Thea bit back a smile. He tried again, “So, how’s Luke doing? Any news?”

Thea sighed, suddenly feeling a lot less cheery. “No, he’s doing pretty much the same. “

Harry frowned, nodding solemnly. It was silent for just split second when a thought struck Thea, and her face brightened.

“Would you like to meet him?”

Harry blinked twice. “Who? Luke?”

“Of course, Luke.” She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “I think he’d really like you, and he needs all the support he can get right now.”

“Wh-what about Cayden?”

“I checked on him before I came here,” she confessed, smiling softly. Harry’s eyes gleamed for a moment at her confession. “He still has a few more tests to go. I told Dr. Avery to page me when he’s done.”

Thea paused as Harry stayed silent.

“So,” she tried again, “will you come with me to see Luke?”

Harry didn’t even have to think before he nodded.

* * *

Thea never really liked sharing her medical work with others. Her patients were her patients. Her work was her work. For once in her life, she had something that was simply _hers_ , and she always intended to keep it that way. But then Harry Styles swooped in with his impossibly adorable—impossibly fragile—baby boy and ridiculously enchanting smile, and Thea found herself wanting to share every single aspect of her career with Harry. She wanted him to know her on a personal and professional basis, and to be frank, it terrified her how much she wanted this man in her life. _Already_.

There was a swooping feeling in her gut as she watched Harry nod wordlessly. His answer was instant. There was no hesitation whatsoever, and Thea thought her heart might burst. Though she quickly covered up the feeling with a smile on her face, standing up and offering her hand to Harry. He took it.

They were standing in front of Luke’s door when she realized she still had a grip on Harry’s hand. Harry must have just noticed it, too, because he awkwardly cleared his throat while sliding his from away from Thea’s. She offered him a wordless, close-lipped smile, and hoped he didn’t notice the red splotches surfacing her cheeks. She also tried to pretend her hand didn’t feel a few degrees cooler with Harry’s.

Thea’s hand touched the door handle, turning back to look at Harry one last time. He offered her a solid nod, and she pushed the door open.

“Dr. G!” Luke’s face brightened exponentially as soon as he saw Thea step into the room. He coughed harshly from the volume of his voice. Luke’s mum stood up at the sound of her son’s distress, though Luke quickly recovered as if the coughing fit hadn’t happened. Then his eyes landed on Harry as he stepped into the room, and his face dropped. “Who’s this? Your boyfriend?”

Thea spluttered, face burning red.

“Luke!” His mum said sharply, sitting back down. “Be nice, mister.”

Luke looked down to his bed sheets. “Yes, Mum.”

“I’m Harry.” Harry stepped forward, sidestepping Thea to get to Luke while she was recovering from the embarrassment of Luke’s outburst. “I’m a friend of Thea’s. She’s my son’s doctor.”

Luke’s face twisted. “You look a little young to be a dad, mate.”

“Yeah.” Harry bobbed his head, smirking, “well, sometimes, it happens, _mate_.”

“What’s wrong with your son?” Luke seemed to accept Harry’s answer, moving onto a new subject.

“He’s got a severe heart condition.”

“I’ve got leukemia and chronic bronchitis.”

“I’m sorry.”

Luke nodded solemnly. “Me too.”

Thea felt her heart slowly breaking as she stepped forward. Harry was reaching his hand out to touch Luke, but she put her hand on his elbow to stop him.

“His immune system is to weak to handle touch,” she whispered so only Harry could hear, smiling softly. Harry frowned, dropping his hand to his side.

“All right, Mr. Luke.” She smiled brightly, and despite his pale complexion and sunken eyes, Luke tried to mirror her expression. “How’re we feeling today?”

“I don’t know about you, Dr. G, but I’m feeling like I’ve got a terminal illness.” He smirked, but there wasn’t that gleam in his eyes that was usually there.

Thea only smiled, checking his vitals and updating his chart. There hadn’t been a significant change since yesterday. His fever had gone down a few degrees, but that was about it, and Thea documented that thoroughly.

“All right, little man, I think—”

Thea was interrupted by the sound of her pager going off. She offered Luke an apologetic smile before plucking it from her waistband. As she read the words, her stomach dropped.

She turned to Harry. “It’s Cayden.”

* * *

Thea hated running.

In fact, if she had to pick something she hated the most… well, it’d probably be Donald Trump, _but_ running would be a very close second.

Despite all of that, Thea found herself sprinting towards the NICU and not thinking twice about it. Harry followed her closely behind. Her legs were burning, and her chest heaved, but for once, she didn’t really care. She just wanted to get to Cayden. She _needed_ to get to Cayden.

“What the hell is going on?” She barked as she stormed into the NICU, Harry coming in right behind her. Cayden’s piercing cries sounded through the room.

Dr. Avery’s head whipped around at the sound of her voice. Liam stood next to her as they both hovered over Cayden’s incubator.

Avery stepped forward. “Mr. Styles, you can’t be in here.”

Harry gave her a paralyzing glare. “Like hell I can’t be in here. That’s my son!”

“I’m sorry, sir, but we have to work on him, and you would only cause a distraction.”

Thea interrupted. “My prior question still stands.”

“I’m not leaving.” Harry stood his ground, looking defiant.

Dr. Avery simply looked towards the head nurse. “Please escort Mr. Styles out of here.”

The nurse did.

“No!” Harry barked. “You can’t! Thea- Thea, tell them, please.”

Thea felt like crying. “I’m sorry, Harry. I’ll keep you updated.”

“What?!” He looked outraged. “No, he’s my—”

Then the door was shut in his face, muffling his words.

With a deep breath, Thea turned to Liam, swiftly walking over to Cayden. He was crying harshly, a heartbreaking sound that broke Thea’s heart even further with every sound.

“What happened?”

“It’s his heartrate,” Liam explained. “In the middle of his blood pressure test, his heart rate started an off pattern. A beat then pause then a harder beat. Then he started to cry.”

“It’s probably just a common form of arrhythmia,” she said quietly, grabbing her stethoscope from her neck. She placed it on Cayden’s chest, quietly shushing him as he cried at the cold. “You’re okay, bubs. You’re all right.”

Cayden’s cry quieted at the sound of Thea’s voice. His sorrows soon turned into hiccups, and Thea listened closely to his heart. There was a normal beat, an extra beat, a pause, then the last beat was stronger than normal before the pattern repeated all over again. Thea listened to the pattern three more times before she pulled back. Cayden had fully quieted down, though he had begun to whine, squirming where he laid. Thea was around Cayden long enough to know what that meant.

She was gentle as her hands curved around his back, bringing Cayden’s body to her chest. Liam watched with wide eyes as she effectively lulled Cayden to sleep with the sound of her voice and touch.

“How’d you—”

“It was a premature ventricular contraction,” she informed, eyes remaining on Cayden as his eyes fluttered closed. “His VSD probably caused it. I think testing his blood pressure scared him, and the stress probably caused the contraction. Nothing serious.”

Liam eyed Thea warily before nodding. “Okay, we’ll keep an eye on it for now.”

Thea nodded, setting a rhythm as she rocked Cayden.

“I’m going to go to the labs to check progress with Cayden’s cells. Meet me down there later today?”

Thea nodded again. “Bring in Mr. Styles on your way out.”

“I’ll go with you, Dr. Payne,” Dr. Avery spoke, and Thea had forgotten she was even in the room until she spoke.

Liam left with that, and Avery went with him as she nodded goodbye to Thea. Their faces both held wary looks, and Thea thought those faces were odd considering she just diagnosed Cayden single-handedly and calmed him down. In fact, she was a little offended. Though before Thea could dwell on it, Harry burst into the NICU, eyes wide as they landed on his sleeping son.

“What happened?” His eyes softened at the sight of Cayden sleeping on Thea’s chest, though his tone was hard.

“Nothing serious,” she assured him. “He has a type of common arrhythmia.”

Harry’s face screwed up. “As in abnormal heart rhythm?”

Thea simply nodded. “It’s called premature ventricular contraction or PVCs, and it’s an early heartbeat that disrupts the normal beat. It’s nothing serious, I promise.”

“His- His heart isn’t beating normally?”

“Only when the contraction occurs, but it’s not life-threatening. It’s actually one of the most forgiving effects of VSD.”

Harry took a minute to absorb the face before he spoke. “Then why was he so upset?”

“We think it startled him,” she explained. Cayden squirmed in his sleep, and Thea picked up the pace of her rocking. “He seems to be very intuned with his body, so I think the blood pressure tool scared him, and that caused the contraction.”

Harry nodded slowly, eyes trained on his son. “So, he’s okay?”

Thea felt her heart crack a little. “He’s okay, Harry.”

The following nod seemed to steady Harry.

“Can I- Can I hold him, please?”

Thea’s heart shattered in that moment. Harry’s face was split with emotion, all guards falling as he stared at his ill child. Thea found Harry truly beautiful in that moment, with all of his vulnerabilities showing through. He was beautiful.

Slowly, Thea nodded, walking forward to gently place Cayden in his father’s arms. Thea could physically see the weight of the world lifting from Harry’s shoulders with the weight of his son in his arms. It was as if no evils could touch Cayden as long as Harry was holding him. A part of Thea actually believed that. Harry would protect Cayden with his last breath, and Thea found that mesmerising.

“Harry.” There was no one else in the room, though for some reason, Thea felt the need to whisper.

Harry’s eyes found hers, questioning.

“I’ll protect him with everything I am,” she vowed, her tone speaking volumes just as her words did. “You know that, right?”

Harry nodded, something shining in his eyes that Thea couldn’t make out. “I do.”

* * *

Harry and Cayden left shortly after, and Thea pretended that she didn’t feel their absence. So, in order to distract herself over her boys (she mentally chastised herself for thinking Harry and Cayden as _hers_ ), she made her way down to the labs.

“Hey.” She smiled at Liam as she made her way into the pediatrics lap. He had his nose deep in a microscope, gloves on his hands and a scrubs hat covering his head. “How are things going down here?”

Liam bobbed his head from side to side. “Not much improvement.”

“Do you need any help?”

Liam pulled back from the microscope. “Actually, I want to talk to you about something, Thea.”

Thea waited patiently as Liam removed his gloves and his scrubs hat. His eyes darted around the room for a brief moment, and Thea narrowed her eyes, suspicion growing.

“What’s going on?” She asked hesitantly.

Liam took a deep breath. “You need to be careful.”

“With life in general?” Thea asked slowly. “Or is there—”

“With Harry and Cayden.” Liam interrupted her.

Thea felt her head jolt back, and the curiosity soon transformed into shock and anger. Liam seemed to sense this change, but his demeanor soon became akin to a child whose hand was just caught in the cookie jar.

Her eyes narrowed to slits. “Excuse me?”

Liam held up his hand. “Look, I’m not trying to pry or anything, but just seeing you today with Harry and Cayden… you’re attached, Thea. Even Dr. Avery thinks so.”

“You’re discussing my private life with June Avery?”

“See?” His eyebrows rose high on his forehead as he stuck his arms out. “You’re classifying them under your private life!”

Thea’s arms crossed her arms over her chest. “What’s your point, Payne?”

“I’m just saying,” he paused for a moment, “you need to be careful, Thea. He’s your patient’s father.”

Thea had a biting comeback ready on the tip of her tongue when her phone vibrated in her pocket. Cursing under her breath, she pulled it out.

“It’s Mason,” she said aloud to no one in particular. “It says, ‘get home now’.”

Thea looked up to Liam to see his face as confused as she was feeling. Before she could say anything else, Liam cocked his head towards the exit.

“Go,” he said, “and tell my girlfriend I say she has horrible timing.”

Thea nodded, turning around.

“And Thea?”

She glanced back.

“I’m just looking out for you, you know that?”

Thea nodded again then promptly left.

* * *

Thea couldn’t get ahold of Mason the entire ride home. She rang her four times, texted her triple that, and there was nothing back.

So, by the time she got back to the flat, it was safe to say her stomach was churning steadily. The words they shared earlier this morning echoed in her head. She wondered if Mason called to just finally finish the fight. Her stomach churned even more at the thought. Thea _hated_ fighting with Mason.

And with a deep breath, Thea walked through the door, unceremoniously tripping as she tried to toe off her shoes.

“Mason!” She called into the seemingly empty flat. “You home? Should I have bought some silly string in case this gets ugly?”

Mason suddenly came into view.

“Hey.”

Thea’s brows furrowed. “Uh, hey. What’s going on?”

“Don’t be mad.” Was all Mason said.

“Okay,” Thea said slowly, “that doesn’t sound very promising.”

“Follow me.” Mason tilted her head towards the living.

Thea’s head dropped in a nod as she followed Mason into the living room. Two steps in, Thea saw a figure sitting on the couch with their back facing Mason and Thea.

“Mason, who’s—”

Then the person turned around as Mason and Thea rounded the living room. Thea’s heart stopped for a second with the facial features that looked foreign but vaguely familiar. And all at once, Thea’s heart felt it stopped as it all came crashing together.

Suddenly, the stranger’s face transformed into the boy with the toothless grin. The one who teased mercilessly but loved unfailingly. He was the one Thea always swooped up into her arms and fixed him. She always fixed him until he couldn’t be fixed anymore. And she would never forget the look on his face when she realized his broken pieces were far beyond her repair. It was the first time her heart broke.

Thea turned to look at Mason with a shocked look. There was part of her that hoped this was all a joke. That none of this was real, but the look on Mason’s face made all those hopes plummet. With a deep breath, she turned to look back at the person on her couch.

The troublemaking smirk played off his face as he said, “Hey there, big sis.”

“Will?”

* * *

Harry was picking up the flat for the last time before bed when three knocks sounded desperately against his door. Cayden was fast asleep, had been for a few hours, and his head turned to look at the time, seeing that it was past ten at night, and he really wasn’t expecting anyone. But nevertheless, he padded sleepily towards the door.

Harry wasn’t so sure who he expected to be at the door. His mum, maybe. Gemma always had a habit of showing up at his flat with a tub of ice cream ready for a chat. Really, it even could have been Louis, seeing as though he was in town again. Though, whoever he expected to be at the door, it definitely was not _her_.

With a swing of the door, his breath almost left his lungs. There were tears flowing down her cheeks, hair sticking to the moisture. Her chest was heaving slowly, but Harry could she was trying to keep the emotion pushed down. There was a bag strapped to her shoulder, and her shaky hand held onto her phone.

“Thea?”

She tried to smile weakly, but another shuddering gasp rippled through her.

“Are you okay?”

It was a stupid question. She obviously was not okay. That much was obvious, but he didn’t know what else to say.

Thea simply shook her head. “Can I- Can I stay here tonight?”

Harry didn’t say anything, simply stepping aside and making room for her to slip into his flat.

And she did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come say hi to me on tumbr @harry-styleswho. tpwk xx


	8. when an angel is taken away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning: minor character death does occur in this chapter

_Thea had only been home for five minutes when Will started knocking on her bedroom door. It was something she was used to. He usually got home much earlier than she did, and most of the time, he became bored in his solitude, so he always padded over to his sister’s room, seeking her presence.  
_

_“Hey, bub.” She smiled when he made his way through the door._

_Thea was still unloading her school bag onto her desk as Will sat on her bed, but his silence caused her motions to stop. She furrowed her eyebrows as she looked over at him. “What’s going on?”_

_Will wouldn’t meet her eyes. “I want to tell you something, Althea.”_

_Thea stopped unloading her bag completely after that. Will hardly ever used her full name. In fact, it was him that had started calling her Thea. Her parents usually took to the complete version of her name, but as a child, Will had trouble pronouncing the name, so he took to a shorter version. And it kind of stuck from there. So, when Will did use her real name, she knew it was something serious._

_Slowly, Thea moved to take a seat next to her brother. Her knee knocked against his, and she rested their shoulders against one another. He still refused to look at her._

_“You can always tell me anything, you know that, right?” She kept her voice calm and tender, hoping to pass some of those emotions onto Will._

_He simply nodded wordlessly._

_“Okay,” she said softly. “So, tell me what you want to tell me.”_

_It was silent for several moments after that. The look on Will’s face told Thea he was trying to work up the courage to speak, replaying the words over and over again in his head. It was something he did often. Social interactions tended to give him a bit of anxiety, and as a coping mechanism, he’d play conversations out on his head. Thea could always tell when he was doing it. His eyebrows would scrunch up, and his expression would be become much too serious for an eleven year old’s. Thea always felt the need to smooth the furrow between his brow, but she never did. She simply let him be._

_Though as the silence drew on, Thea’s heart began to pound nervously in her chest._

_“I, uh.” His voice cracked, so Will promptly cleared his throat before continuing. “I think I like boys.”_

Oh.

_She let out a breath of relief as she nodded her head. “Okay.”_

_Will’s head whipped around. “Did you not hear what I said?”_

_“I did.” Thea nodded._

_“I said I like boys,” he repeated as if Thea hadn’t just confirmed. There was a panic rising in his voice.“I’m a boy, Thea. I’m supposed to like girls, but I don’t. I don’t think girls are pretty. I think boys are.”_

_“Will, there’s nothing wrong with liking boys,” she calmly stated._

_“That’s easy for you to say!” He shot up to his feet, throwing his hands up in the air. “You’re a girl! You’re supposed to like boys!”_

_“Hey,” Thea whispered softly, following her brother’s movements in much more gentle tandems. She gently grabbed ahold of his shoulders, forcing him to look at her. “People aren’t ‘supposed’ to like any gender based on their own. Sometimes, girls like girls, and boys like boys. Sometimes, boys like boys and girls, and there’s nothing wrong with that.”_

_His bottom lip began to quiver. “I’m scared to tell mum and dad that I’m like this.”_

_“Listen to me, are you listening?” Will nodded slowly. “You do not have a disease, nor are you sick, do you hear me? This doesn’t change who you are, William. You were born like this, and there’s nothing wrong with that. This is only another layer of you that I already love, okay?”_

_Will only nodded, though his bottom lip never stopped quivering as a tear slipped down his cheek._

_“Hey,” Thea whispered softly, thumb gently catching the tear as it fell. “Tell me what’s wrong.”_

_Thea could feel her heart breaking as the silence stretched on, but when Will finally spoke, her heart shattered completely._

_“I don’t want mum and dad to stop loving me because of this.”_

_“Oh, Will,” she whispered sadly, pulling him into a hug._

_Will’s chin rested on his sister’s shoulders, arms wrapping themselves around her waist. Thea kept her arms hugged around his shoulders, allowing her fingers to run through the back of his hair, pressing kiss after kiss to his temple. She whispered how much she loved him. How proud of him she was. She whispered sweet words until the tremors in his body lessened, and she didn’t dare pull away until they were completely gone._

_She pressed a kiss to his damp cheek as she pulled him away at arm’s length. “Can I give you something?”_

_Will sniffled before nodding._

_Thea moved to pull away fully from him, holding her arm up and pulling off a black beaded bracelet she was wearing._

_“Do you remember when I made this?” She held up the jewelry with her question._

_Will smiled a little, chuckling. “Yeah, we went to five different stores because you just had to have matte black beads.”_

_“Yep.” Thea nodded as she laughed. “It took forever to find them, but I was so happy after we finally did. Remember? You never gave up on trying to help me find them.”_

_Will nodded slowly._

_“Which is why I want you to have it.”_

_“Thea, I can’t—”_

_She didn’t listen to him as she grabbed his hand and gently placed the bracelet onto his wrist._

_“The black beads represent strength, okay?” Thea smiled as she watched Will admire the new jewelry adorning his wrist. “I think you’re very strong, Will, and you should never be ashamed of who you are. In fact, I love you even more now that you’ve trusted me enough to tell me. You’re very strong, and you’ll never lose that strength so long as you wear this bracelet.”_

_“But it’s your favorite bracelet,” he whispered, almost in awe._

_“Then it only seems fitting that my favorite person wears it.”_

_And well, Will couldn’t argue with that logic._

* * *

Thea didn’t know what she was doing. She _hated_ tea. In fact, she properly despised the beverage that she could only describe as leaf juice. And yet, here she was, scouring her kitchen in search of the flavorless drink.

She had finally found a couple of mugs and tea bags when footsteps sounded. Thea had her back to the entrance, but she had lived with Mason long enough to know what her footsteps sounded like.

“What are you doing?” Mason’s voice was soft, almost as if she was waiting for Thea’s composure to break.

And it was silly, really. It was her _little_ brother. She used to rock the boy to sleep when he was the size of Cayden. She used to wipe away his tears when their parents’ fights reached scary decibels. She had seen him at his best, and she had loved him through his worst. Though, she still found herself hiding away in her kitchen at the mere sight of him. Thea didn’t know why Will was currently sitting in her flat, but she did know it couldn’t mean anything good. Perhaps she was trying to delay the inevitable.

Thea shrugged, shooting Mason a look over her shoulders. “Making tea.”

“I see that—” Mason nodded slowly—“but you don’t even like tea.”

“Sometimes I like tea.”

“You have never like tea, Thea.”

The kettle began to whistle. “Well then, today I like tea.”

Mason waited until the tea bags were placed in the water before deciding to speak again. Thea knew it was so Thea was forced to look at her. With no other task to busy herself with, Thea had no choice but to slowly turn to face her, suppressing a wince when she saw the stern look adorning her face.

“Go talk to your brother, Thea.”

Thea’s eyebrows drew together. “What happened to all those vile things you said about him this morning?”

“The circumstances have obviously changed.” Mason spoke in a _duh_ tone. “Look, I’m going to head out for a little bit. Give you both some privacy.”

“Mason—”

“Please don’t make anymore tea,” she interrupted Thea, backing out of the kitchen. “We both know it’ll only go to waste.”

Thea didn’t say anything, only rolling her eyes before plucking the mugs from the counter. It wasn’t long until she heard the opening and closing of the flat’s door, and with a deep breath, she made her way into the living room.

“I made some tea.”

Will was still sitting on the couch, head bowed as he flicked through his phone. At the sound of his sister’s voice, he quickly looked up, offering her a weird look as he eyed the teas.

“What?” Thea said, exasperatedly.

“You hate tea.”

She huffed. “Is that like the fact of the day or something?”

Will offered her a confused look, but he didn’t speak, opting for simply accepting his mug of tea instead. _Clearly_ , it was a sore subject.

It took Thea a second to finally sit down. She placed her tea on the coffee table in front of them, untouched (ignoring Will’s amused smirk) before brushing her hands against her jeans. Then, after a moment or so, she finally sat down next to her brother.

She was expecting Will to begin with whatever it is he had to share with her, but he remained quiet, staring at the ripples surfacing in his tea. With an internal groan, Thea realized he was waiting for her to start the conversation.

Thea cleared her throat, and Will’s head snapped in her direction. “What are you doing here, Will?”

“It’s a long story, actually.” He chuckled, the smirk on his face mirroring the ones he had worn so much in the past.

Thea scowled. “No jokes, Will. We’re going to have a serious conversation about this.”

“Fine.” He sighed heavily, face dropping. “You know the five hundred pounds I asked you for?”

Thea only nodded.

“It was for rent.”

“Rent?”

Will nodded, eyes turning towards his mug. “Yeah, rent. I was living with my boyfriend, Alex.”

Thea’s ears perked at a meaningful word. “ _Was_? I’m assuming that’s the operative word.”

“He, uh.” Will paused as his hand moved to pinch the rim of his tea mug, circling his forefinger around the edge. “He sort of kicked me out because I was so behind on rent.”

“Jesus, Will.” She pinched the bridge of her nose, shaking her head. “This is—what?—the third time I’ve had to bail you out after something like this happened.”

Will’s lips dipped into a frown as he looked over at his sister. “Okay, the last time wasn’t my fault. The landlord was a dick!”

“Not that point!” Thea’s face dropped into a disapproving glare. “When are you going to learn? Honestly, Will.”

“That’s rich, Thea.” He shook his head, a bitter smile on his lips. “That’s _really_ rich coming from you, big sis.”

Thea’s brows furrowed together. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that at least I’m living for myself and not catering to mum and dad’s every whim.”

“I’m not catering to mum and dad!” Her voice was rising, exasperation and an esteemed sense of deja vu forming in the pit of her stomach at the conversation. “Why do you always bring this up? I’m a doctor because I want to save lives, no other reason.”

Will’s eyebrows rose. “From what I hear you’re not even saving lives, as you so call it.”

“What?”

“The name Luke ring a bell?” Will cocked his head to the side, a much too sinister look adorning such a young face. Thea felt her stomach dropped. “I hear he’s dying. With no help from his doctor.”

Thea could do nothing but gasp, eyes instantly stinging with the threat of tears. She narrowed her eyes over at her brother, trying to find any sort of recognition. But she found none. The man standing before her wasn’t her brother. Surely, it wasn’t. Because her brother, Thea’s Will, would never be the source of such harsh words. Never. But she still found her heart pounding with pain from the sting they caused. She waited for him to take them back. For the smile she so loved to curve his lips as he declared it all a joke. Perhaps she’d wake up and it’d be all a dream. Perhaps if she prayed hard enough, God would grant her that.

But God didn’t seem to be on her side. 

When she couldn’t manage to choke out the words lodged in her throat, Will continued. “But hey, you always were failing people anyway.” He shrugged his shoulders as if his words didn’t pack the biggest punch. “The day I came out to mum and dad, you let me go.”

“Don’t do that.” She shook her head, a tear glistening down her cheek before she hastily wiped it away. “I wasn’t the bad guy in that scenario. Our parents were. I’ve done nothing but love you and help you.”

“Help me? _Really_? Then where have I been living for the past two years?”

Thea’s silence was his answer.

“Did you know I started uni? Got in all by myself.” His voice was condescending, and Thea flinched at the sound of it. “Did you know all that money I’ve been asking you for was to help with that? I was paying rent. I was being an adult. Did you know that? No, you didn’t. Because you never bothered to ask.”

“Will, please,” Thea pleaded, though she wasn’t quite sure what she was pleading for.

She just wanted the words to stop. She wanted it all to stop.

Will continued on as if she had never said a word. “If that’s how you show your love, Althea, then I don’t want it.” With a venomous laugh, his words echoed the most powerful sting. “You’re no better than our mother.”

Suddenly, the tears streaming down Thea’s face turned angry. The hammering in her chest only fueled the flames of her rage. Her blood boiled as she stiffened her stance, broadening her shoulders. Will’s words played like a mantra in her head, and with each echo of every harsh word, Thea’s anger grew.

“Fuck you, Will.” Her voice was venomous before she turned on her heel, storming out of her flat.

It wasn’t until the door slammed behind her that she finally allowed the cries to rip passed her lips.

* * *

Thea knew she was crying when Harry opened the door, and she didn’t think she cared much.

“Thea?”  
  
His voice was kind; familiar, and it almost made Thea want to smile. But then her brother’s words taunted her mind, and a shuddering gasp rippled through her body.  
  
Harry’s eyes were wide with concern. “Are you okay?”  
  
Absentmindedly, Thea wondered if she had ever really been okay.  
  
She opted to simply shake her head. “Can I- Can I stay here tonight?”

For a brief moment, she was terrified that Harry would laugh in her face. She was scared that she had completely misread everything between them, and that their relationship was strictly that of a doctor and patient’s father. But before her fears could really get the best of her, Harry stepped aside, silently inviting her in, and Thea felt a swoosh of emotion. More tears fell from her eyes.

Wordlessly, Harry led Thea into the living room. The flat was quiet; the only sound resonating were her sniffles. She knew Cayden must’ve been asleep, given the hour. She almost felt guilty for barging in unannounced, but then Harry looked at her as if he wanted to fix her every problem, and the guilt vanished.

When they were both sat on the couch, Harry finally spoke. “What’s wrong, Thea?”

Their knees were brushing against one another’s as they faced each other where they sat. Harry’s eyes were imploring, and Thea had almost gotten her tears under control. Then Harry looked at her, and a fresh string of tears came flowing down.

“He- He hates me,” she stuttered out, chest moving rapidly up and down.

The furrow in between Harry’s brows worsened. “Who?”

Thea attempted to calm down, inhaling and exhaling deep and steady breaths until her chest wasn’t moving quite as rapidly and the tears had dried on her cheeks. She hadn’t noticed when Harry took ahold of her hand, but once she was finally calm, she looked down to see her hand enveloped in his, and her cheeks burned.

“Who hates you, Thea?” Harry whispered gently, thumb stroking the back of her hand.

“My brother.” Her voice was meek and pitiful; she wanted to wince at the sound of it.

Suddenly, the sight of her hand in Harry’s suddenly became too much, so Thea squeezed her eyes shut tightly. She felt movement on the couch, and Harry’s breath was suddenly closer. Slowly, her eyes opened on their own accord, and her own breath was ripped from her lungs. Harry’s face was mere inches from her own. After she closed her eyes, he ducked his down, trying to coax her to look at him. It worked, and now Thea could properly breathe. But if Harry took any notice in her lack of oxygen, he didn’t let her know.

His eyes were locked on hers, and Thea knew it would physically pain her to look away. “Your brother doesn’t hate you, Thea.”

“You weren’t there.” She shook her head. “You didn’t see the way he looked at me; the way he talked to me.”

“Siblings fight.”

Thea’s bottom lip began to quiver again, and Harry’s squeezed her hand. “Not like this they don’t.”

“He doesn’t hate you,” Harry said vehemently. “He just doesn’t.”

“How could you possibly know that?”

A small smile curved Harry’s lips, and Thea felt ridiculous because the sight washed away a fraction of her sorrows.

“Because hating you would be like hating Bambi, and you just don’t hate Bambi.”

Despite the tears in her eyes and despite all the ways her emotions were dragging her down, Thea felt laughter bubble up in her throat and rip passed her lips. Harry’s eyes brightened at the sound of her laughter, a smile of his own forming. His hand tightened in hers, and Thea swore every nerve-ending in her arm was on fire.

“Bambi, huh?” She inquired, her laughter still lacing her voice.

 _fia_ Harry chuckled, shrugging. “Yeah, it was the first thing that came to mind.”

Thea laughed again, shaking her head slowly. Then the laughter died down, and her tears dried up. It was silent between the two of them. Harry still kept ahold of her hand, and it made it hard for Thea to think. Then she quickly chastised herself for that. She was a highly educated woman. One man’s touch shouldn’t be her mind’s undoing.

Thea sighed heavily, whispering her next words. “Do you think I’m a bad person?”

She felt the jostle of Harry’s abrupt head turn, and she didn’t need to look at his face to know that there was an esteemed look of shock there.

_You’re no better than our mother._

“Thea,” Harry said softly, eyebrows drawing together, “why would say something like that?”

“I don’t know,” she lied.

“Thea.”

She couldn’t handle his touch anymore, so she withdrew her hand from his. It was too much; it was all just too much.

_You’re no better than our mother._

“Thea,” Harry repeated her name, and there an air of hurt to it. “Why would you say something like that?”

Slowly, Thea shook her head as if that motion would get her head in order.

“I don’t know,” she said again. “I just feel like I try my best to be a great doctor, but people still die. And I try to be a great sister, but my brother hates me. All I do is try, but it’s never good enough, Harry.”

Harry’s lips parted to speak, but he was soon cut off by the sound of Thea’s pager dinging through the air. With swift reflexes, she pulled it from her front pocket, and her heart dropped when she read the message.

“I have to go.” Thea stood up abruptly, eyes still staring at her pager.

Harry’s eyes widened. “What? Why?”

“I-It’s Luke,” she said vaguely. Her heart was pounding in her chest. Dread coursing its way through her veins. She felt cold everywhere, and Luke’s name was the only thing going on in her head. “I have to go.”

“I’ll go with you.” He stood up right beside her. Briefly, Cayden’s name flashed through Thea’s mind, but Harry was two steps ahead. “One of my best mates, Louis, lives a few doors down, I’ll get him to watch Cayden for us.”

_For us._

Thea didn’t trust her voice, so she nodded mutely. Harry repeated her actions before beginning to walk towards the door. His hand was on the knob when he suddenly freezed, turning to look at Thea.

“For all its worth, you’re the only source of good in Cayden’s and my life.”

Then he turned to walk out the door to retrieve Louis, leaving Thea with a quiver lip and thumping heart.

* * *

Dr. Avery was waiting for Thea when she got to the hospital, but when her eyes landed on Harry, her face seemed to harden.

“Why is he with you?”

Thea didn’t feel the need to explain, cutting Harry off as he opened his mouth to respond. “Long story,” she brushed off. “What’s going on with Luke?”

Dr. Avery only bowed her head, shaking it solemnly.

Thea felt like she couldn’t breathe.

The walk to Luke’s room felt as if it were eons. It was almost like a dream to Thea. One of those dreams where you’re trying to get someplace, though no matter how fast you run, you can never get there quick enough. As if you were stuck in time-cheating quicksand. That was how Thea felt.

 _Finally_ , the trio made it to Luke’s room, and Thea felt like she could breathe again. Then they ventured into Luke’s room, and the newfound breath was knocked from her lungs.

Harry’s quiet gasp sounded next to her before she could even take in Luke’s state. But with the sound, she allowed her eyes to slowly drift over to her patient.

“Luke.” Her voice was nothing above a whisper, so quiet that it was almost silent.

Luke’s mum’s head darted in Thea’s direction at the sound of her voice. Her eyes were bloodshot, cheeks permanently stained with tears. His father, a man Thea had only met twice, sat in the chair off at the corner, eyes emotionlessly staring off into space.

“Hey Dr. G,” a voice croaked, and Thea’s eyes darted over to Luke. He attempted a smile then promptly grimaced. “I’m not feeling so hot today.”

Tears pricked painfully at Thea’s eyes. Luke’s complexion was so pale his skin was almost seethrough. The bags under his eyes had grown tenfold, his skin seeming to be stretched tight over his bones. His lips were cracked all over, and no matter how many times he licked them, the dryness remained. Though, it was his eyes that really got Thea. There was a gleam in them, but not the usual playfulness they held. It was fear. He knew he was dying, and he was scared. The thought caused something ugly to twist painfully at Thea’s gut, and she was at Luke’s bedside in an instant.

“That’s okay,” she whispered, smiling softly. Though her eyes betrayed her as a few tears slipped down her cheeks. “You’re going to be okay.”

Luke coughed violently for a brief moment before recovering. His chest moved rapidly as his eyes fluttered closed.

“I’m the best patient you’ve ever had, huh?” He smirked, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

Thea let out a wet laugh. “One hundred percent, Luke.”

“I always suspected it.”

It was silent then. The only noise that could be heard was Luke’s labored breaths. They grew slower. Thea looked to Luke’s mum, and she saw her clutching desperately at her husband’s hand, the other hand covering her mouth as silent tears fell.

“Dr. G?” Luke finally broke the silence after a moment’s time.

“Yeah?”

“I- I’m scared.”

Thea closed her eyes, tears steadily trickling down as an effect. On its own accord, her hand moved to gently grasp Luke’s, thumb stroking the much too tight skin. She opened her eyes to see the fear in Luke’s face magnetized.

She smiled through her tears. “Don’t be scared, Luke. You’re already an angel, yeah?”

Luke seemed to think about that for a second. “Will it hurt?”

“Not one bit.” Thea shook her head, and Luke nodded steadily.

It wasn’t even a minute later that Luke breathed his last breath.

Years after, Thea could still hear the sound of his heart monitor beeping out in her dreams.

* * *

Luke’s mum let out a wail as Dr. Avery announced Luke’s time of death. Thea watched her collapse into her husband’s arms, and she felt numb.

She looked down to the body that once held Luke’s light, and she couldn’t be there anymore. She had to go.

With that, she promptly let go of Luke’s hand, backing up slowly from the hospital room, not being able to stop the tears that fell willingly down her cheeks.

“Thea.” Harry caught her elbow, and Thea startled, forgetting Harry was even in the room. When she looked at him, she noticed his eyes were wet around the corners.

“No.” She shook her head, letting out a pained sob. “I- I can’t.”

And then she was gone.

Thea didn’t know where she was going with tears blurring her vision and a heart that was so broken it could barely work. Her head was throbbing, and she just wanted to sit down. She wanted it all to stop. Her knees wobbled with every step, and she didn’t think she could make it anymore, but then she stumbled upon the cafeteria, and she promptly fell into a vacant chair.

The cafeteria was completely vacant and faintly dark, so Thea felt no shame when a broken cry fought its way up her throat. Her chest constricted painfully, and she felt as if she couldn’t breathe. She was shaking everywhere, hands moving to pull at her hair with every gut-wrenching sob. Her entire being felt broken. _She_ was broken, and there was no way to fit the pieces back together.

“Hey,” a voice spoke softly, startling Thea. She jumped around to see Harry slowly approaching the table as if Thea was a baby deer. “Can I sit?”

Thea only nodded, letting out a stuttering whimper that evolved into a sob. Harry was quick to take a seat next to Thea and pull her into his arms.

She gasped at the feel of her face buried in his chest, but she quickly recovered, gripping a handful of his tee shirt as he slowly began to rock their bodies.

“I- I couldn’t save him,” she cried wetly, voice breaking. “I couldn’t save him, Harry.”

Harry’s hand moved to the back of her head, gently petting and combing through her hair as he placed a small peck on her temple.

“Shh,” he hushed, though his voice did crack, and Thea briefly wondered if he was crying too. “This isn’t your fault, Thea.”

She shook her head against his chest. “He was just a- a kid. H-He had so much life left, and I couldn’t save him.”

“Shh.” Was all Harry could think to say, peppering more kisses on her temple.

It took Thea what felt like a lifetime to finally gather herself together, and when the tears finally stopped and the breath was back in her lungs, Harry still didn’t let go of her. His hand had migrated to her back towards the end of her meltdown, and it stayed there after it was all over, slowly stroking up and down.

The cafeteria was now silent, and it made Thea realize how much noise she was making just a few minutes ago. The thought caused her cheeks to burn, so she buried her face farther into Harry’s chest, and his grip tightened in response.

“Harry?”

“Hmm?” His response vibrated his chest.

Thea tilted her chin up to catch his eyes. “I promise I’ll save Cayden, okay? I won’t let him leave us.”

Harry’s response was to tighten his hold on Thea, gently pushing her head back into his chest and holding onto her as if she was his lifeline.

After a moment’s beat, Thea swore she felt the unmistakeable feel of warm tears falling onto the top of her head.

* * *

Dr. Avery sent Thea home at eight in the morning.

Harry had left the hospital hours before Thea. Well, Thea had forced him to leave. He would have gladly stayed if Thea hadn’t reminded him that he had a baby at home waiting for him. So, Harry left around four in the morning.

But Thea stayed. She stayed to offer her condolences to the Michaelson family. She stayed make to sure Luke’s body was taken proper care of, and she stayed to make sure none of his belongings were left in the hospital room.

And after all of that was taken care of, Thea stayed to treat the patients she could still save.

She was just handing off a chart to one of the nurses when Avery cornered her, demanding she go home. It had been a long night, and she needed her rest.

“I have work to do,” Thea had told Dr. Avery politely.

“Thea.” Dr. Avery sighed sadly. “Treating everyone else won’t bring him back.”

Thea almost broke down right there at the front desk.

And so, it wasn’t until exactly eight-oh-seven that Thea stumbled into her flat with a heavy heart and throbbing head.

She was utterly exhausted, but she was terrified to close her eyes because she knew those eyes with the playful gleam would be the ones to meet her. So, she made a quick dash to the kitchen to start up the coffee.

The coffee was steadily beginning to brew when something caught Thea’s eye. It was almost as if the sun’s light had caught the object, causing a glimmer to show through.

Thea’s eyes were drawn to it in a second, and her breath caught in her throat when she realized the source of her distraction.

Sitting on her kitchen counter was a black beaded bracelet that somehow meant just about the world and more.

Thea felt as if a dam had collapsed at the sight of it, and she couldn’t help herself from giving into the flood.

* * *

Mason jiggled her key from the lock as she slowly shut the door behind her. The flat was silent apart from the creaks and squeaks every old building seemed to have, but then she heard a small, almost silent sniffle. Mason froze, straining her ears until she heard it again. A second later, the same noise sounded.

Slowly, Mason made her way into the flat, stopping in the kitchen when she saw Thea standing motionless in the middle.

“Thea?”

Her best friend whipped around, tearful eyes wide with red rimming the edges. For a moment, Mason’s eyes flicked down to the black beaded bracelet in her hand. Thea’s eyes seemed to follow hers, and a sob ripped through her throat.

“He’s gone, Mason,” she cried, chest heaving. “He’s gone.”

Mason wasn’t sure who Thea was talking about. Will. Luke. Maybe even Harry. But it didn’t matter. She didn’t need to know.

“Hey,” Mason whispered gently, approaching Thea slowly, “everything’s going to be okay, yeah? You’re all right.”

Thea shook her head before collapsing into Mason’s arms.

Thea’s cries her heartbreaking, and her body’s tremors were earth shattering. Mason shed a few tears of her own, because she simply couldn’t let her best friend cry alone. So, the two best friends stood in their kitchen, clinging to one another as if their lives depended on it. And perhaps, they did. Perhaps their lives depended on each other.

And when the tears dried and the cries stopped, they still didn’t let go of each other.

They continued to hold one another as stuttered breaths wracked their bodies, silently wishing the world was a much less cruel place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come say hi to me on tumbr @harry-styleswho. tpwk xx


	9. when thea lives in the aftermath

_Luke Michaelson was admitted into London Grace Hospital at ten years old.  
_

_Thea was nothing more than a nervous intern at the time, following residents and attendings around in hopes of making a name for herself in a hospital that had her name._

_She remembered the day she met Luke perfectly. He had this wide, scared look in his eyes as they skirted over from doctor to doctor. There were needles and patches strapped to his skin, and his complexion was dangerously pale, albeit the occasional red spot that surfaced on random spots._

_He winced every time he made a movement, complaining of muscle and joint soreness. His eyes were drooping in exhaustion, and his skin was burning with a dangerous fever. Without many tests, Thea already had a guess of this boy’s diagnosis, and she knew most of the doctors did too._

_Leukemia._

_“All right, Luke,” Dr. Avery, a resident at the time, spoke softly, taking the vial of his blood and sealing it. “We’re going to run a few tests to see how we can make you feel better, all right? I’ll send your mum back in for you.”_

_Luke nodded once. He hadn’t spoken at all since he had arrived at the hospital. The only way he would talk was into his mother or father’s ear. He wouldn’t dare speak a word to any doctor or intern._

_Dr. Avery turned to walk away, but her movements were cut short when a fragile hand moved to grip the sleeve of her lab coat._

_She turned to face him. “Yes, Luke?”_

_“Can she stay?” Slowly, he pointed a shaky finger, and it took Thea some time to realize that he was talking about her. She blinked once._

_Avery turned to look at Thea for a moment, seeming to size her up before she turned to Luke again. “You’d like for Dr. Grace to stay with you?”_

_He only nodded, seeming to become mute once again._

_“Whatever you’d like, Luke.” Dr. Avery nodded before turning around and walking towards Thea._

_She didn’t say anything to Thea, merely tossing her head towards Luke before walking out of the room._

_Thea watched Dr. Avery leave before she turned towards Luke. He was watching her expectantly, and she looked down towards his hand to see him holding tightly onto a Harry Potter book. From a distance, she couldn’t tell which one it was until he held it up, and she recognized it as the third one._

_“Can you read this to me?” He asked, and Thea’s heart cracked at the tentative nature his voice took. “I’ve been trying to get through it, but my vision is a little blurry.”_

_The crack in Thea’s heart grew._

_“Of course, Luke.” She made sure her smile was warm as she took a seat next to his bed, gently prying the book from his fingers._

_She began reading. The words of J.K. Rowling surfacing through the room in tone of Thea’s voice. Luke seemed to be rapt in every word uttered, his eyes never leaving Thea’s face. As she was about three chapters in, he leaned his head against the pillow, his exhaustion slowly winning the best of him._

_Thea gently placed the bookmark into the book, shutting it softly. She was just about to get up and leave when Luke’s hand took ahold of hers._

_His eyes were still closed when he whispered, “Don’t leave.”_

_So, Thea didn’t._

_Three hours later, Luke was awake again, and the pair was moving onto their eighth chapter of the story when Dr. Avery sauntered through the door. Luke’s mum was sitting in a chair opposite of Thea, her eyes on her son’s face as Thea read. Though the words were cut short when Avery’s appearance became known._

_“Dr. Grace.” Was all the said, and Thea knew Avery enough to know what that meant. She shut the novel, handing it over to Luke with a soft smile before going to stand beside Avery._

_The next moments seemed to blur together with a combination of heartbreaking news, a sharp gasp, and an agonized cry._

_It was the moment Luke Michaelson, ten years old with a life he had barely started living, was diagnosed with cancer. Leukemia._

_It was also when Luke became Thea’s first official patient and friend._

* * *

Thea was updating one of her patient’s chart at the front desk when a nurse turned to her, handing her the phone.

“Dr. Grace, your roommate is on line one.”

A curse was on the tip of Thea’s tongue when her eyes landed on the phone. For a brief moment, she wondered if she would get more or less grief if she hung up on Mason. Without too much thought, she quickly threw out that idea.

Thea nodded once, a small smile gracing her lips before taking the phone. “Hello?”

“Well, if it isn’t little miss incognito.” An all too familiar voice chimed, and Thea almost cringed.

She had been meaning to call Mason. She really had. But it seemed like she had been constantly on go for the passed few days. She barely had enough time to sleep. And now that she was thinking about it, Thea suddenly felt quite heavy on her feet, and her eyelids struggled a bit to stay open. She looked at the desk’s chair for a moment, contemplating whether or not it’d be comfortable enough to sleep on before promptly shaking her head.

“Hey, Mase.” She tried the casual approach, hoping she wasn’t about the receive the lecture of her lifetime.

Mason feigned surprise, gasping. “Oh, you remember me? Good, I thought for sure you forgot.”

“Mason, come on, be fair!” Thea wanted to roll her eyes, but she knew it wouldn’t do any good considering she was on the phone, and Mason couldn’t properly see it.

There was a brief pause, and Mason let out a heavy sigh. Thea felt bad for a brief moment. She knew she wasn’t being fair to Mason; she knew that. But at the same time, she thought it was perfectly justified. Everything was justified.

The moment’s pause was over, and Thea flinched when Mason finally spoke.

“Thea, you haven’t been home in five days.”

Thea pretended those words didn’t sting like hell. “Your point?”

Mason sighed again, and Thea could picture her pinching the bridge of her nose. “Luke’s passing doesn’t make you any less of the amazing doctor you are.”

Those words hit Thea deep, her hand moving to grip tightly at the the front desk’s edge. Her knuckles turned a shade or two lighter, and she had to practice steadying breaths, pushing the stinging sensation in her eyes away.

She wouldn’t cry.

She wouldn’t cry here.

“Mason, please.” Thea squeezed her eyes shut, breathing evenly.

Mason didn’t let up. “You can’t save everyone, hon.”

 _You can_ , Thea’s mind taunted her, you have to save everyone. _You can’t let another die like you did Luke._

Her chest twisted painfully as she thought of Luke.

 _Luke_. 

Thea’s head fell forward, shaking slightly. Luke’s beautiful, round eyes were haunting her every thought. She shivered. “Stop, please.”

She couldn’t take much more. Thea could feel her resolve, the one she had tried so hard to build, slowly chip away. Her seams were ready to burst, and she wasn’t ready for that to happen. She didn’t know what would occur when they did, when her walls finally crumpled. So, she stook a few more steadying breaths, praying that Mason would understand that she was pushing her to her breaking point.

And by some divine grace, Mason did seem to understand that, because she decided to drop the subject. Thea felt her chest expand when she realized it was over.

Mason sighed heavily once again, and there was a pause before—

“Have you even taken a shower lately?”

Heat blossomed on Thea’s cheeks. “Of course I have! We have locker rooms here, Mase!”

“Hey, I don’t know your personal hygiene when you’re not at home.” Thea could picture the shrug lifting Mason’s shoulders up.

Thea’s lips parted to respond, but a soft voice caused her to stop.

“Dr. Grace?”

Thea turned around to see a fairly young female nurse looking at her with wide eyes. Taking the phone from her ear, she turned to face the young nurse, placing a professional smile on her face.

“Yes?”

“Mrs. Darcy is asking for you,” she informed, tilting her head to the side. “She wants to ask more about her daughter’s treatment, and there were a lot of questions I couldn’t answer.”

Thea nodded. “Tell her I’ll be there in a moment. Thank you.”

The nurse simply mirrored Thea’s nod before scampering off.

Once the nurse was out of sight, Thea placed the phone back to her ear. “Listen, Mason, I’ll try to be home tonight, okay?”

“Okay.” She didn’t sound too happy, and Thea was about to hang up the phone when Mason spoke loudly, catching her attention. “And Thea?”

“Yeah?”

“Call Harry.” Thea felt her stomach tense at the name Mason uttered. “He’s been worried about you.”

Immediately, Thea felt a twinge of jealously at Mason’s remark. It insinuated that her and Harry were in contact, and Thea felt juvenile for feeling so, but it made her jealous. Then the jealousy transformed itself into anger when she realized that been talking about _her_.

“How do you—”

Mason promptly cut Thea off. “He’s called here a few times. Says you’ve been dodging his texts and calls.”

The anger inside of Thea grew. “I haven’t been—”

Mason cut her off again, and Thea mentally cursed, wishing her best friend would _stop_ doing that.

“I’m not judging you, babe.” She paused, as if testing the waters to see if she had struck a nerve. The next sentence came out slowly, tentatively. “Just talk to him, okay?”

Thea nodded, knowing Mason couldn’t see her movements. “See you at home, Mase.”

She didn’t wait for Mason’s reply before she hung up.

And she definitely did _not_ think about that perfectly infuriating green eyed father all the way to her patient’s room.

* * *

By lunchtime, Thea was just about ready to drop on her feet. Not even the cafeteria’s special of fish and chips were enough to keep her lively. Her cheek was resting against the palm of her hand as her eyes fluttered every so often. An uneaten carrot rested between her index and middle fingers, dangling. She leaned into her hand, feeling herself drifting farther and farther away when—

“You’re looking rough, cousin dearest,” Niall quipped as he took a seat across from her, properly jostling Thea awake. Liam followed suit, plopping down beside Niall.

“Sheesh, Thea.” Liam grimaced, looking at Thea with a furrowed face. “Who died?”

At Liam’s words, Thea flinched, and his face blanched.

“Fuck, Thea, I’m so sorry. I—”

“It’s fine.” She shook her head, tossing the uneaten carrot back onto her tray. She ignored her mind’s taunting, shoving the images of Luke and his smile away. “Don’t worry about it.”

An awkward silence settled amongst the trio, and Thea felt her eyes drooping again. The sight of the table became blurry, and she knew it was only a moment’s time before she face planted into her fish and chips.

But then Niall’s voice sounded, startling Thea.

“So,” Niall started, and Thea’s eyes fell onto him. “You’re avoiding your sexy dad man, huh?”

Her head jolted back, brows furrowing. “Excuse me?”

“Harry came ‘round looking for you when you were taking your nap earlier today,” Niall informed, stuffing three chips into his mouth. Thea would have been disgusted by that display if she wasn’t so rapt in what Niall was saying. “He couldn’t stay long after I told him you where you were because of his baby, so he left.”

Thea nodded once. Her stomach was in knots at the thought of Harry looking for her, but she felt anger overpower the feeling in her stomach. She wasn’t sure what she was angry about though. Or who she was angry at. She was just angry.

Then she was reminded of the anger she felt on the phone when Mason had mentioned Harry, and she briefly wondered if the anger was caused by _Harry_.

Her stomach tensed at the thought of it, and she quickly shook her head.

With nothing better to say, the only response she gave was, “Oh.”

“Oh?” Liam joined the conversation, tilting his head to side. “That’s all you have to say after months of fawning after the man and his baby. That’s it?”

“I haven’t been fawning.” She scowled, picking up a chip to only throw it roughly back on the tray.

There was tell tale burning sensation in her cheeks, and she mentally cursed at the feel of it. Ducking forward, she hoped her hair was enough to hide the coloring from the two twits in front of her.

Niall smirked through a mouthful of food. “Could’ve fooled me.”

“I hate you both.” She all but snarled, moving her head up to glare at both of them ineffectively.

Both Liam and Niall beamed at Thea’s grumble, and her hatred for them grew ten fold.

“Seriously though, Thea,” Niall said after a moment’s pause. “What’s going on with you? He says you haven’t spoken to him in a week.”

“Nothing’s going on,” she denied easily. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some patients to take care of.”

With that, she pushed her tray away, standing up and leaving without a second word.

* * *

Thea was sitting in Luke’s old hospital room, cradling her phone in her hand. The room had been long cleaned since Luke, the sheets changed and bed made. Nobody had occupied it since Luke, Thea had made sure of it. It would continue to be unoccupied until they absolutely needed it.

This _was_ Luke’s room.

She had read so many stories in this room. It was where she spent most of her days off, reading animately to Luke until he fell asleep. Some days, when the pain became too much, reading to him seemed to be the only thing that would lull him to sleep. And he always wanted her to be the narrator of his stories.

And she always wanted to be the narrator of his story.

It all felt like yesterday: Luke coming to the hospital, befriending intern Thea, Thea loving him as if he were her own. Luke had quickly become a light in Thea’s life, and now that light was extinguished from despair. And she wasn’t so sure if it would every lume again.

Thea’s eyes fell onto the phone in her hand, and she quickly pulled up a new text message, and at the recipient’s bar, Will’s name stood proud.

Her fingers moved quickly as she typed out, _can we please talk soon? i’d hate for us to leave everything like we did_

It took a second for a new message to come back as soon as Thea clicked sent. And at first, the vibrate of her phone caused her stomach to twist in knots, but she soon realized the message wasn’t from her brother.

_{Delivery Failure}_

_The number you were trying to reach has been disconnected. If the problem persists, please contact your network carrier for assistance._

Thea read the message three times before she sighed, dropping her phone onto her lap. Tears stung behind her eyes, and for the first time in a week, she allowed them to fall.

_You’re no better than our mother._

* * *

An hour later, when she had done all the patient-treating she could, Thea found herself submerged a level below ground in a lab coat and protective eyewear. A microscope sat below her on the worktable, several petri dishes shrewn to the side. Liam stood beside Thea with a vial of Cayden’s blood as he placed a few droplets into a dish before handing it off to Thea.

“I’m not sure if we can use his tissue for the cell growth.” Thea hummed disapprovingly, shaking her head.

Liam’s head turned towards Thea sharply. “Why do you say that?”

“Because look—” she sidestepped from the microscope, making way for Liam— “there are slightly deformed cells. Nothing that’s harmful to him now, but it makes me worry about using them to form the flap.”

Liam peered into the scope, twisting the knob to focus it. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” Thea said as she nodded once. “So, now we’re back to the drawing board.”

Liam sighed heavily, moving his head back from peering into the microscope. Thea gripped onto her eyewear in order to place it back onto the crown of her head, rubbing at her temples to relieve some tension. She took the dish off of the tray of the microscope, and she made sure to properly clean it and the tray before placing another petri dish under the scope.

It was silent between the both of them after sometime. Liam continued to prep petri dishes as Thea examined them. Both of their minds were moving a mile a minute to figure another way to help Cayden.

That was when an idea struck Thea.

“Harry!”

Liam looked at her oddly. “No, I’m Liam.”

“No, you ninny,” she grumbled as she rolled her eyes pointedly. “What if we used some of Harry’s cells to form the tissue? They’re half of Cayden’s DNA as it is.”

Liam seemed to think about that for a moment. “I think that’ll work.”

“Perfect!” She peeked back into the microscope. “We just need to draw some of Harry’s blood next time he’s here, and—”

Liam interrupted Thea’s babbles. “One step at a time, Thea.”

After a moment’s pause and some shuffling, Liam finally spoke once again.

“Hey, Thea?”

“Mmm?” She hummed as her eye stayed peeled on the microscope. Her fingers were nimble as she tried to focus it, and she was only really half listening to what Liam had said.

“I’m sorry.”

The apology piqued Thea’s interest, and she slowly leaned back from the microscope, offering Liam a weird look.

“Sorry for what?” She tilted her head to the side.

Liam suddenly looked sheepish. “For the comment I made at lunch today. It was daft of me. I wasn’t even thinking of Luke when I said it.”

Thea inhaled a sharp breath, suddenly piquing interest in her shoes. “It’s fine.”

“No.” Liam shook his head, sighing, “it’s not. I’m a surgeon, too. I understand what it’s like to lose a patient.”

Suddenly, Thea felt hard of breath. “Liam, it’s fine. I swear. I’m over it.”

Liam watched Thea skeptically before he nodded slowly, going back to what he was doing.

And so, Thea leaned back toward the microscope, trying to pretend like she didn’t just lie to her friend.

* * *

Thea was finishing updating a three old’s chart before she was done for the day. She promised Mason she’d make it home for the night, and she was going to stick by that promise. In fact, she already was changed out of her scrubs, her bag strapped to her shoulder filled with the scrubs she had been wearing.

The chart was almost completely up-to-date when Thea heard a pair of footsteps stop right beside her at the pediatrics front desk. When she turned her head, she saw Dr. Avery looking over at her expectantly.

Thea looked at her oddly, closing the chart. “Hi, Dr. Avery.”

Avery didn’t bother with any formalities, going straight to the point. “You’re off for the next two days.”

Thea’s head jolted back as she looked Avery with pure shock written all over her face. “Pardon?”

“You’ve been working nonstop for almost a week,” Avery informed her, shaking her head, “and quite frankly, my dear, we can’t afford for you to go that much into overtime. So, you’re off for the next two days.”

Thea felt a panic rise up in her. “But I’ve got—”

“Patients, yes,” Avery finished for her. “All the good doctors usually do.”

“Dr. Avery, please.”

Thea knew it was silly. Every doctor in this hospital took days off. It was only natural. A human body could only do so much before crashing, and a crashing doctor would only make matters worse. But all the same, the thought of being out of the hospital for two whole days caused Thea’s stomach to tighten. Her head began to pound slowly, and she wondered, for a brief second, if she was going to pass out. She couldn’t leave her patients. She just couldn’t leave them.

“I’ll look after your patients, Thea,” Dr. Avery insisted. “If there’s anything wrong, and I, the very qualified attending doctor, can’t handle it, I’ll be sure to page you.”

“I didn’t mean that—”

Avery nodded solemnly. “I know you didn’t. Now go home.”

Thea nodded once, hitching her bag onto her shoulder. “Okay.”

* * *

Thea could almost see the exhaustion seeping off her body as she stumbled upon her door. Her eyelids felt as if they’d suddenly grown an extra five pounds, and her limbs felt awkward on her body. Sleep and her bed were the only thoughts consuming her mind, and Thea had trouble thinking about anything else.

Once she had properly unlocked the door and walked through, she promptly let her bag fall to her elbow as she very ungracefully attempted to kick off her shoes in her exhausted state. She had only gotten one shoe off when Mason suddenly materialized in front of her, a nervous look on her face.

Thea narrowed her eyes. “I don’t like that look.”

“Just follow me into the living room,” Mason advised, grabbing Thea’s hand. “And try not to hate me too much.”

There was a panic rising up in Thea’s throat as a sense of deja vu overtook her. It was too familiar, and the last time this happened she had lost a brother. And she was definitely not too keen on repeating that unfortunate event.

“Mason, what’s—” The sight of a curly haired man sitting on her couch stopped her words off, and she instantly felt her stomach drop.

Feelings began to overwhelm her as Harry turned around, and sad, green eyes fell on her. There were so many feelings swirling around that Thea had trouble focusing on any of them, but one stood out against the rest of them. Betrayal. And Thea immediately wrenched her hand away from Mason’s.

“Why the fuck are people ambushing me in my own flat?” She all but screeched, bag plopping down to the floor.

Thea took a few steps back from both Mason and Harry, feeling the need to pace overwhelming her. The panic that had been rising in her throat soon helped to form a lump of anger, and Thea struggled to swallow it down.

Will’s words began to play in her head, and her chest constricted.

_You’re no better than our mother._

Luke’s grimacing smile began to haunt her, and Thea could feel her chest rising and falling much too rapidly for her liking. She couldn’t repeat that day. She couldn’t.

_I’m the best patient you’ve ever had, huh?_

With Thea’s distress, Harry was the one to avert his eyes, and Mason was the one to walk towards her, placing a hand on her best friend’s shoulder. Thea flinched, and Mason didn’t let it hurt her.

“Thea, you need to speak with him.” She spoke gently, evenly.

_You’re no better than our mother._

Thea suppressed a whimper. “Yeah, well, you said that about Will, and look how well that turned out.”

Mason flinched. “Thea—”

Sharply, Thea turned her head to look at Mason, eyes wide with all the emotions she felt. “Why are you doing this to me again?”

Mason looked away from Thea, and for a brief moment, Thea could see Mason’s bottom lip tremble. She tried not to feel bad.

It was Harry who spoke instead of Mason. “Thea, please.”

And that was how Thea’s resolve came crushing down, a sigh leaving her lips. Just the sound of his voice, that was it took. The sound of Harry’s voice, and her walls came crushing down as if they never existed in the first place. All of the sudden, Thea felt incredibly stupid and juvenile. She sighed, looking over at Mason.

She didn’t want to be that girl, but she was being that girl.

“Can you give us a second?” She asked softly, and Mason was quick to nod, making a comment about watching Netflix with her earbuds in on the highest volume setting, before she left.

Thea went to sit down next to Harry on the couch, pretending her cheeks weren’t scorching red and throat didn’t feel like it was closing in on itself.

It was devastating, really. Sitting next to Harry, but feeling so far away from him. Their knees were brushing against one another’s. It was nothing but a feather-light touch, but on any other day, it would make Thea’s skin alight with warmth. Today, it caused a hollow feeling in the pit of her stomach, prickling her skin with icy coldness.

And so, she simply waited, pretending that there wasn’t a massive lump in her throat and a painful ache in her heart. She waited.

Harry was the first one to speak, and Thea almost wished he never had. She would have much rather sat in silence, stewing in the pain she had created for herself.

“Thea, tell me what’s been going on.”

Her eyes were on her lap, refusing to look up. “What do you mean?”

“Why you’re avoiding me,” he stated simply, and when Thea didn’t respond, he leaned forward, ducking his head to try and catch her eye. He said, “and suddenly feel incapable to look at me.”

Pointedly, Thea flitted her eyes up to meet Harry’s. “There? Happy?”

Harry seemed exasperated. His head fell forward some, and his chest heaved in a heavy sigh. “What is going on, Thea? We were doing so good with Cayden and with—”

“Luke’s death?” She interrupted him, a venomous tone to her words. Her eyes narrowed over at Harry, and she tried to pretend she didn’t see him flinch. “Is that what we were doing great with?”

Harry looked away from her for a moment. “I thought you were moving on?”

Thea felt like screaming. She only _wished_ she could move on from Luke’s death. She wished that everytime she closed her eyes, his eyes were haunting her. She wished she didn’t have to feel the raw guilt eat at her every time she thought about how Luke’s mother had lost a child. She had lost a child because of _her_. She wished she didn’t feel a pang in her heart when she thought of how young Luke’s sister was and how she probably won’t remember what a wonderful boy her brother was.

Thea wished she didn’t feel such raw pain every time she thought of Luke and how much she had failed him. She wished she could move on, but the heartbreaking truth: Thea didn’t think she’d ever move on.

“Moving on from a dead patient a week later?” She retorted bitingly. Her heart pricked coldly, and she closed her eyes briefly before whispering, “I’m not heartless, Harry.”

“Thea, I—”

“Look, Harry,” she started, suddenly unable to look at him again. She ducked her head to return her gaze to her lap. “I think we need to take a step back from each other.”

Harry narrowed his eyes at the crown of Thea’s head. “What the hell does that mean?”

Thea’s throat suddenly felt exceptionally tight again. “It means that I’m your son’s doctor, and our relationship needs to reflect that.” She paused before saying, “It needs to be purely professional.”

Realization struck Harry’s features before they fell. “Oh.”

“Harry, I—”

He began to grab his jacket, pulling it over his body and standing up quickly. “No, it’s fine. Here I was thinking we were friends, but it’s whatever.” He shook his head, voicing catching. “I’ll see you for Cayden’s next check up, _Doctor_.”

Thea watched him leave without another word, and it wasn’t until the door shut behind him that she allowed herself to cry.

* * *

Mason peeled her earbuds out, pausing the episode of _The Office_ she had playing. The flat was eerily silent as she slowly slid out of the bed. A sense of deja vu hit Mason hard, and she felt her stomach twist as she slowly padded towards the living room.

Thea was there, curled up in a ball on the couch. Her arms were hugging onto a pillow as her tears flowed freely down her cheeks.

“Thea?” Mason approached her slowly, tentatively, as if Thea could break at any possible second. “What happened, love?”

Thea shook her head into the pillow, smooshing her cheek against the fabric as she squeezed her eyes shut. “I can’t lose them, Mason.”

Mason dropped to her knees in front of Thea’s face as her hands moved to cup her cheek. Her heart swooped when Thea nuzzled her way into Mason’s touch, and she felt her eyes sting in sympathy of her best friend’s sorrow.

With a shaky voice, she asked. “Lose who, love?”

“Cayden and Harry,” Thea answered in a cry. “I can’t lose them like I lost Will and Luke.”

“Thea, what happened?”

Thea sniffled, and Mason’s hand moved to dry the tears on her friend’s face. “I told Harry we couldn’t have a relationship other than professional.”

Mason eyebrows furrowed together, and a broken cry tumbled from Thea’s lips. “Why did you tell him that?”

“Because what if I grow too attached to them, and then I can’t save Cayden.” She cringed with her words, and Mason knew this was a legitimate fear. “Harry’ll hate me, and I’ll lose them both just like I lost Luke and Will.”

“Thea.”

Thea just shook her head, crying into the arm of the couch. “I can’t— I can’t lose them. I can’t. I can’t. I can’t lose anymore people.”

And that was how Mason found herself climbing onto the couch, squeezing herself behind her best friend and curving her body around Thea’s. She tried, with everything she was, to shield her best friend from all the horrors of the world, and as she held tightly to Thea’s body, she just hoped it was enough.

Thea’s hand moved to grip onto Mason’s forearm, and that was when Mason took notice in the black beaded bracelet adorning her best friend’s wrist.

Mason felt her heart break in that moment.


	10. when thea lives in the aftermath of the aftermath

Luke’s funeral was three days after he passed. It was a solemn event filled with tears and sorrows. Everyone there mourned a young soul that left the earth much too soon, but when it was over, most of the people didn’t feel anymore pain.

But Thea still felt the pain.

After the ceremony, when everyone left to be with Luke’s family, Thea stayed. She stayed at his gravesite, sitting and talking. Just talking as if he could hear her, as if he could respond.

And ever since then, she was a frequent visitor at Luke’s gravesite. And all she would do was talk. Simply talk.

As if he could hear her.

As if he could respond.

The wind rustled lightly at her hair. Thea felt a shiver coarse through her body, and she pulled her leather jacket tighter to her. In her hand, there was a bouquet of flowers. An assortment of kind-looking flowers; ones that reminded her of Luke. The air nipped lightly at her skin as the cold grass crunched against her boots, the sky barely lit.

It was early; possibly much too early to be awake, though there Thea stood, with the sun barely peeking over the horizon, trekking through a cemetery. Besides, Thea had trouble sleeping the past few weeks or so anyhow, and she often found solitude here.

After sometime, Luke’s tombstone finally came into view, and Thea felt like she could breathe again. Luke’s grave was hidden deep in the cemetery. It was quite the walk, one Thea usually took alone, but she appreciated the quiet.

“Hey, buddy,” she whispered as she sunk into the grass in front of Luke. She crossed her legs in front of her, placing the fresh bouquet at the base of Luke’s tomb and taking the dead one from it. She placed the dying flowers in her lap. “I couldn’t really sleep, so I thought I’d stop by and say hi.”

Thea looked down, picking at the blade of grass at her shin. Her mind drifted to Luke’s smile, and she felt the dangerous burn of tears.

“I know I say this every time I come here, but I really miss you.” She closed her eyes, ducking her head as she shook it. “You’re going to be mad at me when I say this, so I’m just gonna get it over with.” Thea paused for a moment, brushing away a rogue tear that fell from her eye. “I, uh, I told Harry I couldn’t be friends with him anymore.”

Even as she said it, she could almost hear Luke say, _Oh, come on, Dr. G, I liked him!_

Thea chuckled. “Yeah, well, I liked him too. Maybe… maybe even a little too much.”

 _He liked you too, ya know_ , she imagined Luke saying. A smile found her lips.

“Yeah.” She smiled despite her better judgement, “and that’s why I had to it. It would only get dangerous for both of us.”

The wind whistled again, and Thea felt her pager vibrate against her hip. She didn’t give it a glance.

“Duties calls,” she muttered as she stood to her feet, brushing her hands off on her thighs. She leaned forward, allowing her lips to brush lightly against the cool surface of the tombstone. “I love you, buddy. See you later.”

Thea allowed herself a moment to simply look at Luke’s tombstone before she turned and walked away. Her heart was heavy, and there was a tension she felt in her stomach. But she merely pushed it down, continuing to walk on.

When a single tear slid down her cheek, she simply wiped it away.

* * *

Thea slowly walked into the neonatal unit. Liam stood at Cayden’s side as the baby laid in a medical bassinet, and with one swift look around, she noticed there was no sight of Harry.

“He’s getting his blood drawn,” Liam said when he noticed Thea’s wondering eyes. “You know, for the cell growth.”

Thea nodded once, speaking quickly. “Right. I wasn’t looking for him.”

“Didn’t say you were.” Liam shook his head, facing Cayden. He brought out the sphygmomanometer, which measured blood pressure, and Cayden squirmed, whimpering. “Can you hold him? He gets a little restless during this part, and you seem to calm him down.”

Thea ignored the flutter in her heart, and made her way towards the two boys. Cayden’s eyes seemed to widen at the sight of her, and he squealed happily. Thea pretended like it didn’t make her stomach flop. His small hands tried to reach up, squirming to get to her, and the smile that curved her lips was pretty much inevitable.

With a jolt, Thea realized just how much she had missed Cayden during the past few days.

“Hey, little man,” she whispered down to the baby, “C’mere, Cayden.”

She gently lifted him from the bassinet, cradling his body to her chest. He had a lot more weight to him, Thea noticed happily. Though he was still much smaller than what was normal for an infant of his age, he was making progress, and Thea couldn’t ignore the throb of pride that was a direct result.

Liam stepped forward as Cayden reached up to grab a strand of hair that had fallen from Thea’s ponytail. He gripped and tugged, a happy squeal escaping his lips. Thea watched as Liam tried to supress the smile on his lips while he wrapped the cuff around Cayden’s upper arm. His attempt to suppress his smile went in vain. Thea wanted to laugh, because she knew what it was like, trying not to love a kid who was so undeniably lovable. Cayden was barely three months old, but he was already charming everyone he came in contact with.

Thea supposed he was just like his dad in that way.

Just then, Cayden must’ve noticed the pressure in his arm as Liam began to pump the sphygmomanometer, because his eyes widened, all source of playfulness and happiness from seeing Thea erased. His bottom lip jutted out as he whimpered, and Thea felt her heart crack.

“Hey,” she whispered down to the distressed baby, “none of that, yeah? You’re all right. I’ve got you, Cayden. You’re okay.”

She began to repeat those words in a song-like mantra, rocking and swaying her body in a way that wouldn’t disturb Liam’s work but would also calm Cayden down. The distress melted from his face as he stared up at Thea in wonder.

“I’ve got you, baby boy.” She leaned down to place to press a kiss to his forehead. Cayden cooed. “You’re all right.”

Thea tried to pretend that she didn’t feel Liam’s eyes on her, and she didn’t dare look up to see what his expression resembled.

Liam began to peel away the cuff, nodding approvingly. “Eighty-two over fifty-one.”

“That’s good,” she said. Her eyes finally left Cayden to look over at Liam, but when she did, she noticed a new figure in the doorway. She immediately tensed.

Harry’s eyes were on his son. He had red tape strapped around his elbow, holding a piece of gauze in place from where he had blood drawn. Slowly, he looked up towards Thea, and his eyes held some sort of gleam that Thea couldn’t quite place.

She wasn’t so sure she liked it, though.

It had been two days since Thea declared that she didn’t want any personal relationship with Harry. That they should keep their lives strictly professional. In that time, Harry hadn’t tried to talk to her once. Not one text or call. Nothing. He was abiding by her wishes, and a part of her was truly grateful, but the other part of her wished he would put of a fight.

Cayden’s soft gurgle broke Thea from her thoughts, and her and Harry’s gaze was broken as she looked down she Cayden. When her eyes were on him, he squealed once again, kicking his legs. Thea smiled down at him.

“I can take him, Doctor.” Harry appeared by her side, and Thea nearly flinched at the cold tone his voice took. “That is, if you’ve finished his tests.”

Thea looked up at Harry, eyes tracing his face. When he refused to meet her gaze, she looked toward Liam with a huff.

“Did you check his PVCs?” she asked, absentmindedly tightening her hold on Cayden.

Liam only nodded, watching Harry warily before turning towards Thea. “We did. It seems the contractions only occur when he is under stress. As long as he stays content and calm, he should be fine.”

“And what if he doesn’t stay calm?” It was Harry who spoke, head whipping in Liam’s direction. “He’s a baby. He’s bound to get upset from time to time.”

“Then pacify him somehow,” Liam suggested. “Perhaps you should invest in some pacifiers for him, or find something that soothes him. Music, swing, mobile, whatever. Once the stress is gone, the contractions will stop.”

Harry nodded silently.

“Anymore tests that need to be done?” Thea asked.

Liam shook his head.

“Well, all right then.” Thea nodded once, turning towards Harry.

Tentatively, Harry’s eyes moved to meet hers, and there was a hint of vulnerability in them, but it was quickly masked as his gaze found his son. Thea handed Cayden off to Harry, being careful to not brush against him in the exchange. Harry’s gaze stayed solely on his son as he immediately pressed a kiss to Cayden’s forehead.

“We should probably inform—’

Liam was cut off by the sound of his pager, and his gaze followed the sound to the device clipped on his waistband.

“I have to go,” he declared. “There’s an emergency back in cardio. Dr. Grace, update Mr. Styles on the progress of the cell growth?”

And then he was gone, leaving Thea alone with Harry and nodding off infant.

“Right.” Thea cleared her throat, “well, essentially, we found some abnormal growth in Cayden’s cells.”

Harry’s head whipped up at that, eyebrows furrowing the way they always did when he was worried. Cayden’s breath evened out then as his eyes finally fluttered closed.

“It’s nothing life threatening, and once we treat him for the VSD, it should correct itself.”

A breath of relief was released from Harry’s lips. “Okay.”

“That’s the reason we drew your blood today,” she continued. “With any luck, you’ll be a match for him, and we’ll be able to use your cells to generate the flap.”

“And what if I’m not a match?” Harry asked slowly, and Thea still hated the way his voice held a cold twinge to it.

“We’ll cross that bridge when come to it.”

“Well, let’s just hope we cross it before the six months are up. Wouldn’t want another notch in your belt.”

Thea felt something cold poke at her heart with Harry’s words. His eyes were detached, unemotional as his lips spat the venomous snarl. She knew she had hurt him when she wanted to remain professional. She knew she had broken some kind of camaraderie they had developed, some kind of friendship. But she never thought Harry would ever speak to her like that.

“That’s not fair, and you know it,” she hissed back, mindful not to raise her voice in benefit of the snoozing baby in Harry’s arms.

Harry only shrugged his shoulders callously. “You know what’s really unfair? You not speaking with me for a week then cutting me off. That’s unfair, Thea.”

“I didn’t cut you off,” she told him. “If I had cut you off then we wouldn’t be speaking right now.”

“I just don’t get it!” He spoke a notch too loud, and Cayden squirmed in his sleep, causing Harry to flinch. He appropriately lowered his voice when he spoke next. “I don’t get what happened. We were doing fine, Thea!”

“I don’t want to talk about this.”

She tried to make her way to the door, but Harry was quick to cut her off.

“Don’t you care about Cayden?”

Thea felt her face fall, her whole resolve came crashing down when she looked down to the slumbering baby curled in Harry’s arms. He had slowly become everything to Thea. Him and Luke had easily become her favorite patients, and while she loved Luke, there was something special about Cayden, and she was pretty sure it had everything to do with his green eyed dad.

“Of _course_ I care about him, Harry,” she whispered desperately, emphasizing the word as to get the point across. “He means so much to me.”

That vulnerable look returned in Harry’s eyes, and Thea wondered if that was the look he wore when Camille left him.

“Then don’t leave us.”

Thea had to close her eyes. She took a few deep, steadying breaths in an attempt to reign in her emotions. When she finally opened her eyes, Harry was staring at her imploringly, almost pleadingly.

“I’m not leaving you two,” Thea promised, and Harry’s face perked. Then, “but we have to keep this professional. It’s really for the best.”

The vulnerability in Harry’s eyes vanished, and he was quick to nod his head, clearing his throat. He carefully grabbed Cayden’s diaper bag and carseat, gently strapping him in as to not wake him. Thea watched him do so, a tug pulling at her heart. They had been this domestic once, and it pained her to know she’d never take care of Cayden that way. It would only ever be strictly medical.

Without another word, Harry began making his way towards the exit before he paused, turning around.

“I’m sorry for what I said earlier,” he whispered, though he refused to look up at her. “You’re a really amazing doctor, Thea. Don’t let what happened with Luke make you doubt that. It wasn’t your fault.”

Thea nodded, trying to tame the stinging in her eyes. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Dr. Grace.”

And with that, he left.

* * *

“How’s his heart rate?” Thea asked, looking over to Niall.

Niall had a stethoscope placed onto an unconscious toddler’s chest. Thea had just gotten done with a pretty procedure operation, an appendectomy. She had appointed Niall as her nurse for the surgery, and they were simply going over post-op protocol.

There a moment’s pause before Niall nodded his head, drawing away from the child. “Heart rate is normal. As is his temperature.”

“Good.” She nodded, jotting down a few notes onto his chart. “Now, we just have to wait for him to wake up. I think just one person should be allowed visiting rights, though.”

Niall only nodded, looking down to the little boy before looking at Thea. “You know, we haven’t really talked about Will rearing his ugly head again.”

Thea’s eyes, which were previously skimming across the surface of the boy’s chart, darted up to meet Niall’s. There was a timid look in his face, almost as if he knew he crossed a line. Successfully, Thea had avoided all conversations about her brother and their less-than-optimal reunion for the last week and a few days. It was a topic most people knew was strictly off limit, but then again, most people weren’t Niall. Niall was family. He knew all about Will’s tendencies. He knew the neglect her brother faced from his parents, the homophobic displays they tended to showcase. Niall knew of the once entirely blithe child that turned despondent at the hands of his own parents.

Niall knew the way Thea carried the weight of her brother’s pain on her shoulder.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she deadpanned, quickly looking down to the chart.

Niall exhaled slowly. “You and I both know that’s false, Thea.”

Thea scribbled down meaningless words onto the chart in her hands. She could feel Niall’s eyes on her, urgently pressing her to turn and face him. Talk about it. Open up. Which naturally, only caused her to shut down more.

“Thea, look,” Niall started when it was clear he wasn’t getting a single word from his cousin, “your mum is shitty. She and your dad treated Will like trash, yes. But that doesn’t give Will the right to treat you like this.”

Slowly, her eyes drifted from the chart, not quite looking at Niall. Her gaze mostly rested mid-air, starting at nothingness.

“He’s not a bad guy,” she whispered, shaking her head. “He’s just scared.”

Thea’s eyes finally met Niall’s, and he offered her _this_ look that almost made her entire resolve crumble into thin air. She _wasn’t_ talking about herself. She _wasn’t_.

Niall studied her for a moment more. “He hurt you, Thea.”

Thea wanted to protest. She wanted to pretend like she wasn’t hurt. That the words her brother spoke to her didn’t send her heart into withering pain. She wanted to pretend like everything was all right. That Will’s words and Luke’s face didn’t haunt her in her dreams. She just wanted to pretend, but one look at Niall’s face told her she was not going to be able to.

“Yeah.” she nodded somberly, “he did hurt me, but he’s hurt, too, Niall.”

A doleful smile curved Niall’s lips. “That’s not an excuse for him to hurt you.”

Thea’s eyes fell with Niall’s words. She wanted to defend Will, but even now, she knew it was no use. She would be the only one to see any redeeming quality in her brother.

Because yes, he did hurt her. He made her feel pain that she never thought capable of occurring at her brother’s hand. Will made her feel dejected, and she remembered the dull ache in her heart as he spat those choleric words. The ache hadn’t really gone away since.

But even with the pain she felt, she still loved him. She wanted to help him. Most importantly, she wanted a better life for him.

“Look, Easter’s next week,” Niall said after a moment’s silence. “What are you doing?”

Thea shrugged. “I’m on call, so I have to stay close.”

“Perfect. Come by my place. Bring Mason and Liam. My folks are coming in, so we can have a big family dinner together.”

“Niall, I don’t—”

“No arguing. This is what cousins are for, yeah?”

 _Brother_ , Thea thought. _You’re like another brother to me._

Before Thea was given the chance to respond, her pager was going off. She quickly looked down to the device before looking up at Niall.

“Liam wants me to head down to the labs,” she informed, already moving back towards the door. She tilted her head towards the still unconscious patient. “Make sure you let his mum know she can see him now.”

Niall only nodded, watching Thea go without another word.

* * *

“Dr. Grace.”

Every nerve in Thea’s body seemed to go rigid at the sound of that voice calling her name. Her footsteps became nonexistent, and her mind flashed back to that same voice, crying out in agony at the loss of her child.

It was Thea’s fault.

Thea knew she had to get down to the labs. For some odd reason, Liam needed her. He had paged her: _911_ _labs_ , but that was it. She wasn’t sure what he needed, all she knew that it was her. But Like had needed her too, and she had failed him. She just couldn’t fail his mum; she couldn’t.

Slowly, Thea turned around. Luke’s eyes unexpectedly flashed into her mind, and then she realized she was practically staring right at them. She hadn’t noticed before, but Luke had definitely inherited his mother’s eyes. Suddenly, she wanted to run, hide somewhere no one could find her, and pretend the outside world no longer existed. She didn’t want to have this confrontation, but Thea owed this woman enough.

 _You killed her son, after all_ , a voice taunted her.

“Mrs. Michaelson.” Her voice was able to choke out, nodding respectfully.

Luke’s mum smiled brightly, and something in Thea’s stomach dropped. She was… _smiling_?

Briefly, Thea wondered how this woman could have the strength to even climb out of bed in the morning. How could she even function? Much less smile at the doctor that couldn’t save her son’s life.

“I was called in to finish up some last minute paperwork,” she informed Thea. “How are you doing, my dear?”

It took Thea a moment to respond. Her eyes traced over Mrs. Michaelson’s face, trying to detect any hard feelings etched into her facial expressions. But the longer Thea looked, the more she came to realization that she didn’t seem to _have_ hard feelings.

 _Of course she does_ , the same voice from before hissed, _you murdered her only son. She hates you._

There was a sudden urge to throw up, and Thea had to bite her lips for a moment to suppress the feel.

“I’m, uh,” Thea stuttered, looking down to her shuffling feet for a moment, “I’m doing all right. How are you?”

Her answer was simple. “I’m healing.”

Thea felt something cold poke at her heart.

_She’s healing because you killed her son._

“Look, Mrs. Michaelson, I’m—”

“I don’t want you to finish that,” she interrupted Thea. “You do not get to apologize for what happened to Luke.”

The way she spoke her son’s name, it sounded almost pained, and Thea was devastatingly reminded of the night they had lost Luke. The agonizing scream Mrs. Michaelson let out. The way her body collapsed against her husband because she could no longer physically support herself. Her son was gone. Just like that.

Thea remembered the words Luke’s mum spoke at the funeral. The way the tear glistened as they fell down her cheeks. How she had to pause in between every third word, because her throat was so tight with emotion to even get the words out. How by the end of her speech, she had the entire congregation in tears. How there was no pain greater than a parent losing their child too early.

“I couldn’t save him.”

Luke’s mum tilted her head to the side, tears glistening in her eyes. “Oh, Thea. You did all you could.”

“I should’ve done more.” Thea watched a single tear fall down Mrs. Michaelson’s face, and she soon noticed her own tears congregating in her eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

There was a small smile playing on her lips as she shook her head. “My son really loved you, you know.”

Thea forgot how to breathe. She _hated_ the past tense. Loved. As in, no more.

“He used to ask me all the time, ‘Mumma, when is Dr. G coming in?’ And I would always have tell him to be patient. He wasn’t the only one you were making feel better.”

It was difficult to suddenly look into the woman’s eyes, so Thea allowed her head to fall, focusing on the linoleum tiles of the floor.

“One day,” Mrs. Michaelson continued on, “I told him that exact same thing, and he was quiet for a moment. I could tell he was thinking, because he always had this distinct expression when he was thinking hard. Then, he turned to me and said, ‘Dr. G is a very good doctor, Mumma. And she’s my friend.’”

A choked cry left Thea’s lips, and she immediately clapped her hand over her mouth to stifle the sound. She watched her tears splash against the surface of the floor, only to be replenished by more and more.

“He really loved you, Thea, and he wouldn’t want you to blame yourself.”

Mrs. Michaelson’s words were loud and clear, but the voice in Thea’s head was louder.

 _You killed him,_ it taunted, _you killed your best friend._

* * *

“He’s not a match.”

She had barely made it a step into one of the labs when Liam spoke to her, rather abruptly. Her movements halted at once, freezing.

Thea’s brows furrowed together. “Excuse me?”

Liam’s head was ducked down, staring a file that rested in front of him. There was a scowl etched onto his face, brows brooding and lips frowning. Thea watched his eyes trace over the words the document held before she made her way over to him. He was seated at the table that had been only days prior, and she quickly moved to stand behind him, reading over his shoulder.

Then her stomach plummeted.

Harry wasn’t a match.

They couldn’t use his cells to generate the flap.

 _Shit_.

“Fuck,” Thea hissed as her eyes skirted over the words three, four times. “What the bloody hell do we do now?”

Liam shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Avery’s calling other hospitals to see if they have anything available to help, but basically, it looks like we’re back to square one.”

“Harry’s going to be crushed,” she whispered. Thea wasn’t sure why she chose to say that, but she did, and when Liam offered her an odd look, she couldn’t take it back.

Liam seemed to not want to comment on Thea’s statement. “Let’s just get him and Cayden back. Maybe there’s another relative on Harry’s side that we can use as a match.”

Thea’s mind gradually drifted to Cayden’s mother, and an esteemed anger began to swell inside of her. If Camille hadn’t abandoned her one day old infant, then it was possible they wouldn’t be in this situation. It was possible _she’d_ be a match for Cayden, and Thea could easily save the baby’s life. Sweet baby Cayden.

He was dying.

Thea had to save him.

She looked towards Liam, nodding. “Call Harry. We definitely need to get this resolved.”

* * *

Harry stared at Liam and Thea for three solid beats. It was as if he were simmering, a pot ready to boil, a ticking time bomb ready to go off. Thea waited, patiently.

Cayden laid fast asleep in his car seat carrier at Harry’s feet. They were sat in an empty neonatal unit room. There was a small incubator, one similar to what Cayden used to rest in, day in and day out. The silence finally became too much, and Thea’s eyes flashed to Harry.

“Harry,” she whispered almost silently, and Harry’s eyes were on her. There was something hidden in the depths of them - something that Thea couldn’t quite make out.

He only shook his head, looking down towards his sleeping son. “You told me you’d save him.”

“Harry, I—”

His eyes were on Thea in an instant. She felt Liam stiffen beside her at the look in Harry’s eyes. _“You told me you would save him.”_

“Mr. Styles,” Liam tried, stepping forward and in front of Thea, “we never said we couldn’t save your son. All we’re saying is that we can’t use your cells to form the flap.”

“What?”

“We’re going to need another donor,” Thea explained, voice strong, “but we haven’t given up on your son, Mr. Styles.”

Harry deflated. “Oh, I—”

Liam didn’t let Harry finish. “We need you to get in contact with other relatives. We’re going to need to see if anyone is a match for Cayden and go from there.”

“Okay.” Harry’s eyes flickered to Thea, and she could see the apology swimming through them. “I’ll talk to my mum and my sister. Maybe my dad could even donate.”

“Good. The more closely related, the better.”

Harry nodded. “Okay, I’ll see what I can do.”

And that was it.

* * *

Thea was taking deep breaths. In and out. In and out.

Harry’s eyes, flashing and angry as he stared at her, kept haunting her. The lack of faith he had in her. He thought she couldn’t save Cayden. He thought she wasn’t capable. Her eyes burned at the thought.

_You’re going to kill him. Just like you killed Luke._

Thea clamped her eyes shut, heart hammering in her chest as she tried to ward off all the toxic feelings. Her lungs began to burn as she struggled to draw in breaths.

In. Out.

“Thea?”

She was startled away from the incubator she was leaning against, whirling around to meet Harry’s eyes. There was a depth of worry in them, and he was the Harry she remembered. The one she had befriended before it all vanished.

Suddenly, she could breathe again.

“Harry.”

His eyes traveled up and down her body, as if looking for physical evidence of something being wrong. When he couldn’t find a thing, his eyes found Thea’s again.

“Are you okay?” he asked quietly. Cayden must have noticed Thea then, because he squealed happily, fidgeting in his car seat as Harry held onto the handle.

Thea only nodded. “I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine.”

“Gee, thanks.”

Red blossomed on Harry’s cheeks. “That’s… not what I meant. I just meant—”

“Harry,” Thea interrupted him, “it’s fine. I’m fine. What are you doing here anyway?”

“Cayden dropped his pacifier,” he informed, tossing his head down to his son. “Have you seen it anywhere?”

Thea shook her head, and Harry nodded in response. It was silent for a moment between the both of them before Harry broke the silence. His voice was soft and kind, and Thea almost burst into tears at just how _Harry_ it sounded.

“I’m sorry about earlier,” he said, unable to meet Thea’s eyes. “I didn’t have any right to be so rude to you. I know you’re trying everything to save my son.”

Thea bit her bottom lip to stop the quivering, though before she could say anything else, Avery was barging into the NICU.

She looked at Harry first before looking at Thea. “Dr. Grace, there’s someone at the front desk asking for you.”

Thea’s head fell into a nod. Then she followed Dr. Avery out of the room. There were footsteps sounding behind her, and Thea didn’t have to look back to know that Harry had followed them.

There was a woman standing at the desk, Thea noticed as they rounded the corner. Her back was facing them, but Thea was fairly certain she had never seen the woman before in her life. She had long, raven black hair. It fell in curls down her back, and absentmindedly, Thea pondered whether the curls were natural or not. She was tall; really tall. Thea was fairly sure she would look dwarfed standing next to that woman. Thea knew she was a beautiful before she even turned around.

Then she did, and Thea’s whole world fell apart.

Her eyes were a stunning blue. One that would make any poor soul lose their breath. And Thea did, but she hadn’t lost her breath because of the woman’s eyes.

It was something different, all together.

She still didn’t know who the woman was, but it didn’t take long to figure out, especially when she felt Harry tense up beside her, face blanching. Thea didn’t need a name to know who this woman was, but nevertheless, Harry whispered it in shock, and Thea’s world fell.

“Camille?”

Camille’s eyes flickered to Thea, lingering for a moment before they fell onto Harry and Cayden. “Hello, Harry.” She paused, before saying, “Is that my son?”


	11. when camille comes back

Harry stood by himself in a dark room, rocking his son, desperately trying to calm his heart-shattering cries.

“Shh, I’ve got you,” he whispered to Cayden, pressing two kisses to his forehead. “Daddy’s got you, little man. You’re all right.”

For a brief second, Harry wondered if Cayden could sense his unease. He’d heard that about babies. That they could sense distress within someone, and it only upset them more. He wondered if Cayden was that way, because truth be told, Harry felt like his mind was buzzing.

There was a panic set deep in his bone, and his body seemed to hum with it. He felt rigid, stiff all over with stress. He looked down to his screaming baby, and the stress only heightened. He thought of how sick his baby was, and the stress multiplied again.

He didn’t know what to do. So, he just held his son.

Cayden’s cries eventually faded away. When the infant became much too tired to carry them on, his eyes slowly fluttering closed, the sounds of his distress diminished, and Harry felt he could breathe again. But then he remembered why he was here in the first place, in some random, dark room, and the breath was stolen from his lungs.

His back was turned to the door, so he barely noticed it opening, but the light streamed across his feet, causing him to look up.

When his eyes met hers, he felt his whole resolve come crashing down, and his tears streamed steadily down his face.

“Oh, Harry.”

* * *

Time stood still, and Thea felt like running.

Her eyes were set solely on Camille, blinking slowly. For the briefest second, she hated that Camille was so beautiful, because she was. Camille reminded Thea of every celebrity and super model in the world, times one hundred, because she was just _that_ pretty. And when Thea looked down to her two day old scrubs, fingers self-consciously toying with her ratty ponytail, she felt infinitely inferior to this woman. But as soon as the thought struck her, she quickly pushed it away. There wasn’t any real reason to envy Camille.

Not really.

Camille’s eyes were focused on Harry, and with one look at them, Thea could almost physically see the history between the two. The stories they shared together. And when she looked at Harry, she was surprised to see none of those stories showing. He looked over at Camille stoically. As if his world hadn’t been torn apart when she left him.

The silence was almost palpable between the trio. After it was clear that Harry wasn’t going to answer Camille, her eyes flickered over to Thea, curiosity sparking them. Thea figured she should have felt exposed under such scrutiny, but she simply squared her shoulders.

“And you must be the woman caring for my son.” She spoke with a little defiance, but there was a tone of sadness in her voice that made Thea immediately pity her.

There was emphasis placed on the word _my_ , and Thea briefly wondered if she considered Cayden to be hers before she left him.

Thea only had time to blink twice, unable to answer properly before Harry was speaking up. His eyes still held that stoic look, but by the way his shoulders slouched, Thea knew he wasn’t totally unaffected by these events.

“What are you doing here, Camille?”

It struck Thea then, that she hadn’t bothered to question Camille’s motives for being here. And then, all at once, a panic rose inside of Thea. Her eyes flickered to the small bundle fidgeting in his carseat, and she suddenly felt terrified that Camille was going to take him away. Thea would never survive losing Cayden—not now; not ever.

And then Thea’s heart pricked when she realized there was something to envy Camille about: Cayden was truly hers. He would never be truly Thea’s. The thought was hard to swallow, and Thea’s eyes found the floor, feet shuffling. If she so wanted to, she could take Cayden away from Thea. At the thought, Thea felt her stomach hit the floor.

Then she thought of what losing Cayden would do to Harry, and her stomach sunk lower.

Camille’s eyes found Harry. Her expression softened. “Harry, please.”

“No.” Harry’s voice was firm, and when Thea looked over at him, his face was callous, completely void of any emotions. If Thea were a stranger walking by, she would have never guessed Harry had any history with the woman standing before him. Much less a son together. “You don’t get to do this, Camille. You left him. You left _my_ son.”

“Harry,” she whispered, eyes growing pained and body flinching at the emphasis of _my_ , “he’s still my son, too.”

He looked at her incredulously, squinting his left eye. “How can you possibly be his mother? You _left_ him, Camille.”

Cayden must’ve sensed Harry’s distress, because as soon as the words left his mouth, a small whimper sounded. Thea’s head turned to look towards Cayden, watching as his face twisted and the small whimper evolved into a cry. Harry’s face fell, and Camille’s eyes were rested solely on Cayden.

Harry’s eyes found Thea, shaking his head. “I- I can’t do this right now.”

“Harry—” Thea tried, attempting to console him and Cayden in any way she could, but she soon cut herself off when realized she didn’t have the right. Not anymore.

“I can’t.”

And then he turned around, disappearing down the hall with a crying Cayden.

Thea watched him go, heart clenching as she noticed Harry bringing Cayden’s carseat closer to his chest. As if his arms could protect his son from all the world’s harshness. Thea only wished that was true.

“I really didn’t mean for it to turn out this way,” a quiet voice whispered, and Thea turned, suddenly feeling a surge of anger.

Her face twisted into a scowl when she faced Camille. “What did you expect to happen, Camille? Did you expect Harry to welcome you back with open arms? Did you expect him to just hand over his baby to the woman that abandoned him? Did you?”

“So, I take it Harry told you about me.” There was a sad smile on her face, her eyes flickering down to the hall Harry had escaped to before they found Thea again. “He’s my best friend, you know. We grew up together.”

“I know.”

“Getting pregnant was an accident.”

Thea narrowed her eyes at her. “Maybe, it was. But having Cayden wasn’t.”

“Look,” Camille spoke softly as she looked down to the floor, “I know I screwed up, okay? And I don’t expect to be forgiven so easily, but please, I just want to help Cayden in any way I can. He’s still my son.”

Thea shook her head. “There’s nothing you can do, Camille, because he’s not your son. Not really.”

And with that, Thea turned around and walked away.

* * *

It took Thea exactly three minutes to find Harry. She honestly wasn’t sure how it was so easy to find him, but she did somehow. And once she opened the door to the dark room, the only light illuminating was streaming in from the outside, and it only took Thea a millisecond to notice the tears streaming down Harry’s face.

“Oh, Harry.”

And just like that, Harry surged forward, pressing his face to Thea’s shoulder as he cradled a sleeping Cayden to his chest. His chest heaved up and down as he valiantly tried to tame his tears in benefit to Cayden. Thea wrapped her arms around his shoulders, one hand curling around the back of his neck, fingers toying with the loose curls that had fallen from his bun.

“Why is she back?” he whimpered against Thea’s skin, and she had to suppress a shiver at the feel of his breath against her skin. “She can’t take him from me. She can’t.”

Thea turned her head, pressing her lips to his temple. Cayden was pressed between the two of them, and Thea didn’t think she had ever felt more at home than she did now.

“Cayden’s not going anywhere, Harry. I’ll make sure of it.”

Harry didn’t respond at first, simply burrowing himself further into the crook of Thea’s neck. Cayden squirmed between the pair for a moment before he settled, sighing peacefully. Thea felt her arms tighten their hold on Harry’s shoulder, fingers tenderly combing through the loose hair. For a moment, the warmth of Harry’s breath was gone before it returned again.

“Please don’t abandon us,” he whispered desperately, and this time, Thea tried and failed to suppress the shiver that Harry’s breath on her skin caused. “We need you, Thea. _I need you_.”

It was sad to think that no words had ever meant as much to her as those words did in that moment. They felt almost perfect coming out of his mouth. Harry spoke them with such fervor that Thea felt her head spin. The words brushed against her neck, painting themselves into her skin and burning with the passion of it all. Her stomach sat like a rock, but there was fluttering that could only be described as butterflies. She knew her cheeks were tinted red with the feel of heat surrounding them. In fact, Thea was sure she had never felt quite as warm as she did in that moment.

And it was then that Thea surrendered.

All those moments she tried to fight whatever it was she was feeling towards Harry. The moments she spent trying not to fall in love with Cayden. The moments she spent trying to distance herself from both of them all went up in vain.

The wall she so carefully constructed around her heart crumbled just then, and Thea knew she would take whatever pain and agony that attacked her to help Harry and Cayden.

Because to be honest, she needed them far more than they needed her. That much, she was convinced.

She may have been trying to save Cayden’s life, but he had already saved hers.

“I’m here, Harry,” she whispered, pressing her lips to his temple once more. “I’ll always be here.”

And when she felt Harry relax against her, the tears he had been shedding stopping altogether, Thea knew she hadn’t meant anything more.

* * *

Harry had never felt more at home than he did with his baby in his arms and Thea’s arms around him. It was almost sadistic how peaceful he felt at the heart of all the chaos, but he did. He felt at peace, and he didn’t think he ever wanted to know what it felt to not have Thea’s arms around him again.

“Harry,” she said quietly, and Harry only shook his head whining into her neck. “Harry, we need to talk about everything.”

“No, we don’t,” he mumbled, and Thea chuckled. Harry’s felt the vibrations of her laughter in his chest, and his stomach fluttered.

“We do.”

Harry groaned (quietly, of course, because Cayden was still sleeping peacefully in his arms) before extracting himself from Thea’s embrace. He carefully sought out Cayden’s carseat, gingerly strapping him in and draping the blanket across his whole body before searching for the light switch. When it was finally on, Harry looked around, almost chuckling when he realized he was currently standing in a supply closet.

He turned towards Thea. “Did you know we were in a supply closet?”

“Yeah.” There was a small smile on her lips, and Harry felt quite stupid that the curve of her lips made him feel at home. “Considering I work at this hospital and on this floor, I’m quite familiar with where we keep our supplies.”

“Right.” He nodded once before he sobered quickly. “So, what did you want to talk about?”

Harry wasn’t too fond of Thea’s hesitation, and it wasn’t until she chose to speak that he finally understood it.

Thea looked at him hesitantly, shuffling feet as she quietly said, “Camille.”

Instantly, Harry could feel his entire resolve hardening, and he instinctively stepped in front of his son, as if she were in the room and Cayden needed protecting.

“I would really rather not talk about her.” Immediately, Harry felt guilty for his cold tone, and the guilt only heightened when he saw Thea flinch. “I mean… she’s really not worth our time, Thea.”

“But I think she is.”

Harry looked at her oddly. “What?”

“I’ve been trying to avoid the inevitable, because you don’t want her near Cayden. Hell, I want her nowhere near him—” Harry felt a spark of warmth at the protective tone Thea’s voice took—“but she could be vital to us, Harry.”

 _Us_. Harry liked the sound of that.

“How so?”

Thea simply shrugged a single shoulder. “She needs to be tested. To see if she’s a match for Cayden.”

Harry closed his eyes for a moment. He knew Thea was right. _Of course_ Thea was right. This was about his baby, and he would do _anything_ for his baby, but he really wished anything didn’t include bringing Camille into the mix.

“Okay.” He nodded his head slowly. “We’ll give it a shot.”

Thea mirrored his movements. “Okay, I’ll go get a room ready.”

And as Harry watched Thea go, he figured he should feel a little uneasy that Thea was able to persuade him so easily. But really, all he felt was triumph, because Thea was once again apart of his life.

* * *

Thea felt like hitting Liam.

With a bat.

A metal bat.

She was almost one hundred percent certain that there was no trauma in cardio, and he could have very well drawn Camille’s blood, yet he left it for her to do. And Thea was pretty sure she saw the workings of a smirk on his face when he walked out of the room (much too slowly for someone who had a _trauma_ in their department, might she add).

And Thea already thought up about four different ways she could give Liam a concussion without any real brain damage when Camille cleared her throat.

Thea had just finished getting the syringe into her arm and quickly drew it back, filling it up. She placed a cotton ball onto the inflicted area.

“Press down on this and lift your arm up,” she instructed Camille, watching as she did so.

Camille studied Thea for a moment. “You don’t seem to like me very much.”

Thea offered her a brief look before turning away, wrenching the gloves from her hands.

“You don’t know me,” Camille continued as if Thea was engaging in the conversation, “but you don’t like me.”

Thea scoffed. “I know you plenty, Camille.”

“No, you really don’t,” she told Thea, shaking her head. “You know what Harry told you about me, but you don’t know me.”

Thea finally turned around to face Camille, gesturing for her to put her arm down. She didn’t say anything as she properly bandaged and taped Camille’s arm up. When she was finally done, she took a step back, making eye contact with Camille.

“You’re right, Camille,” Thea concluded, shrugging her shoulders. “I don’t know you. But I know Cayden, and I know Harry. And I know you have to be completely heartless to leave those two.”

Thea paused, waiting for Camille to say something. When she didn’t, Thea continued.

“Harry and Cayden deserve the world, Camille. And you can’t give that to them.”

Camille scowled. “And you can?”

“Maybe.” Thea shrugged before shaking her head. “Probably not. I’m just here to give Cayden the chance to find someone who can.”

Then Thea turned, ready to walk out of the room with Camille’s sample.

“Wait!”

Thea turned, raising her eyebrows in question. Camille was still seated, thought she was leaning forward now, arms resting in her lap. Her fingers danced around one another, and her head was ducked down as she watched the movement of her fingers. For a brief moment, Thea felt sorry for Camille. She looked utterly dejected and despondent, but then Thea thought of Harry and his innocent son, and the pity quickly vanished.

“This wasn’t how I planned my life to be, Dr. Grace,” she whispered, eyes still planted down. “I wasn’t supposed to get knocked up by my best friend. I wasn’t meant to be a mother. I’ve always known that.”

Thea sighed, nodding her head. “Then you figure that out before you have the baby. You don’t leave it once it’s living and breathing.”

Camille nodded once. “You mean have an abortion.”

Slowly, Camille’s eyes flickered up to meet Thea’s. There was something so sad hidden in the depths of them, and Thea’s felt her heart constrict at the sight.

“It’s a bit more optimal than leaving a child once he’s born, don’t you think?” Thea asked, not unkindly. “When the fetus is actually apart of your body, you have every right to choose what happens to _your_ body. But you chose a little too late, Camille.”

Thea knew there was more Camille wanted to say, but she looked to be struggling with the words. So, Thea simply waited patiently.

“You didn’t see the look on Harry’s face when I told him,” she finally said softly, her lips twitching up involuntarily. “Even when we were kids, he had some major paternal instincts, and I always knew he wanted to be a father. And when I told him he was going to be one, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so happy.”

“He would’ve understood if you told him,” Thea tried to reason.

Camille nodded. “Yeah, he would have. Harry’s amazing like that, but he would’ve been devastated. And- and I just couldn’t do that to him.”

“So, you left him instead?”

Camille shrugged, but Thea could tell it wasn’t a gesture of uncaring, it was more uncertainty. “I gave him a baby.”

“But you took away his best friend and his baby’s mum,” Thea replied dolefully.

“You’re only saying this because I’m a woman.” There was spite in Camille’s words, though it was weak, and Thea could tell even she didn’t believe them. “How come men can leave their children without any repercussions? But the second a woman does, she’s the devil.”

Thea simply shook her head. “You know that’s not true. Not with me. If the roles were reversed and Harry had left you, I would still be having this conversation with him.”

Camille didn’t respond. She turned her head from Thea, and Thea swore she saw the unmistakeable glisten of tears in her eyes. Taking that as her cue to leave, she turned around, walking towards the door and leaving without another word. When she shut the door, Thea was _certain_ she heard the sound of a sob muffled behind the door. She simply kept walking.

For the briefest second, Thea realized Liam might have known what he was doing when he forced Thea to take Camille’s sample. Thea understood Camille a little better, and with a start, Thea realized she didn’t consider her to be a bad person. She was a good person that simply made a mistake.

But Thea still wanted to hit Liam.

* * *

“I brought her here.”

Thea was standing at the front desk, filing some charts so they could be updated when Dr. Avery walked up to her. She startled at the sound of her voice, confusion soon replacing the fright when she took in Avery’s words.

Thea looked up, brows furrowing. “Excuse me?”

“Camille Foster, Cayden’s mother,” she clarified. “I found her contact information in Cayden’s file, so I called her in.”

“Why would you do that?” Thea tried to keep her anger under wraps, but she knew it snaked its way into her tone.

Avery shrugged. “Because she may be that baby’s last chance, Thea. We had to exhaust every option.”

“And you didn’t think to ask Harry first? That _baby’s_ father?”

“If Cayden survives, I don’t think _Mr. Styles_ will care.” Thea flinched at Avery’s emphasis of the way she addressed Harry.

“Dr. Avery, I—”

Avery simple shook her head. “I’ve warned you about your relationship with him before, Thea. It’s your risk to take.”

And with that, she walked away, leaving Thea to wonder what actually just happened.

* * *

Thea found Harry in the cafeteria sans Cayden. He had his usual tea sitting in front of him, and for some reason, the sight made Thea smile softly.

“Hey.” Her voice was light, smiling as she sat down in the seat next to him. “Where’s Cayden?”

Harry smiled in greeting. “I had my mum take him back home. It was getting late for him.”

Thea perked up at the mention of Anne. “I didn’t know your mum was in town.”

“Just for the weekend,” he told her.

Thea nodded. “What didn’t you go with him?”

“I wanted to wait and see the results of the test myself,” he said quietly, adding the next part even quieter, “and I also wanted to make sure Camille wasn’t near Cayden.”

Thea looked down to the table, flicking at a crumb. “I talked to her.”

Slowly, her head moved to meet Harry’s eyes, tentatively gaging his reaction. Harry’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion before his eyes widened. Desperately, Thea wished she could tell what Harry was thinking.

“Why would you—”

Thea’s pager vibrated before Harry had the chance to say whatever it was he wanted. At the look of the message, her eyes widened. She could feel Harry’s eyes on her before she darted out of her seat, running down the hall.

It felt like it took an entire lifetime to get to the room, and when she finally barged in, it felt like the sky was lifted from her shoulders.

“What the hell?”

Niall was at the side of the hospital bed, looking up with wide eyes. He had his pager in his hands, and he seemed surprised to see Thea so quickly after sending the page. In the bed, Thea’s brother laid with his eyes open and lungs seeming to be fully functional. His arm rested, unmoving, against his chest. Thea was fairly certain he hadn’t moved an inch since she walked into the room.

Her eyes were set firmly on her brother, and he stared right back at her. Thea was suddenly painfully reminded of that look in his eyes, ten years ago. It was a look solely reserved for when he thought he was in trouble. Thea’s heart twisted painfully.

She raised her eyebrows, hands settling on her hips. “Will, what the hell is going on?”

Behind her, someone barged into the room, panting roughly. Thea whipped around to see Harry standing in the doorway.

“Oh.” He stood up straighter when his eyes landed on Will. “I, uh, I thought there was something about Cayden, so I… um- I followed you.”

“Who the hell are you?” Will said, eyes narrowing at Harry.

“Will!” Thea shot a disapproving glare toward her brother. Then she turned to Harry, smiling softly, “it’s just my brother. Wait for me in the hall, please?”

Harry’s eyes flicked to Will before he nodded, shooting Thea a smile as he left the room. Once he was completely gone, she turned to face Will. He still hadn’t moved his arm, and Niall was now closely examining the vicious bruise that was surfacing. Thea frowned.

“Will,” she said softly, moving towards her brother, “what happened?”

Will smiled reassuringly, and there was a kindness in his eyes that made Thea’s eyes sting miserably. “It was just a minor car accident, Thea. I swear I’m fine.”

“A car accident?” Her eyes widened, darting over to look at Niall. He was still examining Will’s arm, but he paused for just a moment to look up at Thea, nodding. “Are you okay? How’s your head feel? Have you thrown up? Do you feel dizzy?” She turned to Niall. “How are his pupils? Are they dilated? Are there any signs of a concussion? Any head trauma? What about his legs? Are they—”

“Thea, Thea,” Will interrupted her. His lips were quirked in an amused smirk. “I’m fine. It’s just my arm, I swear. I was on my way back from work, and somebody hit me from behind. I hit my arm on the dash. Probably not even broken.”

In the same moment, Niall must have pressed down a little too hard, because Will immediately yelped, hissing in a long breath as his body tensed. Niall then let go of his arm, standing up straight.

“It actually might be a break,” he announced.

Will smiled weakly. “So, it actually might be a break. Whoops.”

Thea pinched the bridge of her nose, shaking her head. “Okay, let’s get him to radiology for x-rays.”

Thea attempted to move forward to get to the head of her brother’s bed, but Niall was quick to step in front of her, shaking his head.

“You can’t come with, Thea.”

She looked at him as if he grown a third head. “Like hell I can’t. That’s my brother, Niall.”

“Exactly,” he said as if that made all the send in the world. When Thea just continued to stare at him, he continued. “You can’t treat him or be involved in his treatment. Hospital policy.”

On the tip of Thea’s tongue, the words _but it’s my parents’ hospital_ rested. She had to swallow them down, and it was almost instantaneous—the hatred she felt towards herself for even thinking that. She had promised herself a long time ago to never use her parents as a way to get ahead. Her eyes moved towards Will, and the fact that he was looking at her with a kind smile made her heart feel light.

Whatever it was that gave her- her brother back, she was beyond thankful.

After exactly three beats, Thea finally nodded. “Okay. Get his x-rays done, and I want every test done to make sure everything else is all right. Anything that could have been remotely affected in the accident, I want tested. Do you hear me?”

Niall nodded.

“Whatever expenses can be docked from my pay,” she said, knowing full well that her brother didn’t have any insurance.

Will’s brows furrowed together. “Thea, wait—”

“It’s fine.” She shook her head. “Page me as soon as you get the x-rays done.”

Niall nodded once again. He steadied the rails on the side of Will’s bed before he began pushing it through the door. Thea gave her brother one last smile as she watched them go through before following suit. Harry was there, and Thea hated herself because the mere sight of him calmed her down.

“Hey.” His voice was light, but there was an undertone of worry. “Is your brother okay?”

Thea nodded, biting her lip to hold back a smile of gratitude. “Yeah, he should be. Possible break in his arm from a fender bender. Nothing too drastic.”

“That’s good.” He paused before asking, “Are you two okay?”

Thea bobbed her head, sticking her bottom lip out. “Getting there. There’s a few things we need to discuss, but I’ll wait until after he’s done with his tests.”

Thea’s hipped buzzed once again, and she offered Harry an apologetic smile before she looked down to her pager.

“It’s Cayden,” she said, looking towards Harry again. “The test results are in.”

* * *

Thea soon found herself standing in a room with Camille and Harry. She stood next to Liam, opposite the other pair. Harry was tense, hands folded behind his back, and his eyes were steady on Thea, refusing to look anywhere else. She offered him a reassuring smile before turning to Liam—who had the sealed test results in his hands.

It seemed like an eternity before Liam unsealed the results. His breath hitched as he read over the words.

Then his head moved in an almost imperceptible shake, but Thea could see it. Her heart fell.

_Camille wasn’t a match._

Thea locked eyes with Harry, and she knew he knew by the way his head ducked down.

“I’m sorry.” Liam looked up to Camille and Harry before just clearly looking towards Camille, “but you’re not a match for Cayden.”

Camille’s demeanor visibly shrank as she squeezed her eyes shut. Harry’s hand slowly inched out before he grabbed hers, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Thea’s heart seized at the sight of it, and she quickly averted her eyes.

“How can that be possible?” Harry finally asked, and Thea turned to her head to see his hand now sitting idly by his side sans Camille’s. “We’re his parents. How can neither of us be a match?”

“There’s a number of reasons,” Thea answered, tilting her head sympathetically. “His heart condition plays a huge role.”

“So, what do we do now?”

 _We_. Thea had to suppress a smile at the plural pronoun. 

“Test family members,” she said, looking between Camille and Harry. “Is there any history of heart defects in either of your families?”

They both shook their heads.

Thea looked to Liam, and she hated the solemn look in his eyes. “We’ll keep testing.” His voice was gravelly. “We’ll do everything we can to save your son.”

Then Liam’s pager vibrated against his hip, and he quickly looked down towards it. Thea watched as his eyes grew wide before looking down towards her.

Her heart sunk. “Thea, it’s your brother.”

* * *

Thea hated running, but ironically enough, she found herself running quite often in her chosen profession.

When she had finally made it to Will’s recovery room, with Liam quick on her trail, she hastily looked around until her eyes landed on Will. His arm was thoroughly casted and slung to his chest, clearly a break. Though other than that, he looked utterly healthy. He smiled when Thea walked in the room, waving with his good hand.

There was a child-like look in his eyes, and Thea wondered if it had always been there. If that night, at her flat, he had been someone else entirely. Because now when she looked at Will, she saw that same boy she grew up with. The one who had seen the world’s hate first hand and had overcame it single-handedly.

Looking at him now, he still looked like that boy.

Niall stood next to his bedside, and Thea’s eyes shot towards him. “What’s going on? What’s with the page?”

“Well,” he started, “we ran all the tests you asked to be ran.”

Thea nodded, looking towards her brother who was sitting calmly in his bed. He offered her a small smile before she turned back towards Niall.

“So, we did some blood work just to make sure everything was okay, and—”

“He’s a match.” It was Liam’s voice that spoke, and Thea’s head whipped around to see Liam holding papers in his hand, eyes wide. Liam looked up, locking eyes with Thea. “Will’s a match for Cayden.”


	12. when everything changes

_Thea’s parents were always in their scrubs. Everyday when they came home from work, they were dressed in the almost paper-like clothes. When she asked her father one day why they worn them, he told her it was because they protected their real clothes from their patients. Thea thought that was odd. Were their patients going to tear them? It was just silly. **  
**_

_And Thea also remembered when her mum was pregnant with her baby brother. Even then, she wore her scrubs. She was wearing her scrubs when the baby decided it was time to come out. Thea remembered her dad taking her mum to the hospital, leaving Thea alone with her aunt Maura. When they left to have her baby brother, they were both wearing scrubs._

_They were always dressed in them, and Thea simply got used to seeing her parents in those clothes. So, the day after her dad took her mum to the doctor’s to have the baby, she remembered walking into her house after school, her aunt Maura trailing behind her, her dad was sitting down on the couch, sans scrubs. Right away, Thea knew there was something wrong._

_She remembered asking her dad what was going on, but he simply traded worried looks with her aunt. Thea didn’t like not knowing. He grabbed Thea’s hand, pulling her to the car before strapping her into her seat. He quickly jumped into the driver’s seat without another word. Aunt Maura quietly climbed in beside her dad, and Thea felt her stomach turn nervously._

_They ended up at the hospital. Thea knew that because she had spent a lot of days there coloring in the break room when her parents couldn’t find a babysitter. When her dad moved to the back seat to get her out, he didn’t bother putting her on the ground, simply placing her on his hip as he quickly walked into the hospital. Thea held on tightly to his neck, turning her head to make sure Aunt Maura was behind them. Briefly, she wondered if her dad was trying to get rid of her aunt by walking so fast. She didn’t think that was very nice._

_When they finally got into the hospital, Thea was handed off to one of the nurses while Aunt Maura and her dad were ushered into another room. She kept hold of her dad’s neck while the nurse tried to take her away._

_“Daddy, no,” she whimpered. “I wanna stay with you.”_

_Gently, her dad unclenched her hands from around his neck. “Stay with the nurse, baby. Daddy has to check on Mum and your baby brother.”_

_“But—”_

_It was too late. Her dad had handed her off to the nurse, and he was shuffling inside another room. Thea’s tummy hurt more. What was wrong with her mum and brother?_

_“What’s going on?” she asked the nurse._

_The nurse smiled, but Thea swore it looked a little sad. “Your mum and dad will tell you that, honey. For now, don’t worry.”_

_Thea worried._

_It wasn’t until nighttime that she saw her dad again. Thea had fallen asleep on one of the waiting room couches, her head resting on the nurse’s lap. Her dad bent down to her level, gingerly running his hands through her slightly tangled hair. Thea stirred._

_“Baby,” he whispered quietly, “wake up, Althea.”_

_Thea blinked her eyes open, frowning. “Daddy?”_

_He was still in his regular clothes. Thea’s frown deepened. Her dad’s eyes darted towards the nurse before he tilted his head to the side, and the nurse soon left. Thea was only alone on the couch for a moment when her dad sat down beside her. It was quiet. Thea didn’t feel so good all of the sudden._

_“What’s wrong with Mummy and Will?” she asked, but she wasn’t so sure she wanted to know the answer anymore._

_Her dad sighed, and Thea knew him well enough to know that noise never meant anything good. When she looked up at him, he was already looking down at her._

_“Do you remember when Mummy went to the hospital shortly after she found out she had Will in her belly?”_

_Thea nodded mutely. She remembered that day very well. It was another day both of her parents hadn’t worn their scrubs._

_“Well, there was a little problem with Will’s heartbeat while he was in Mummy’s tummy.”_

_Thea gasped quietly. “Is Will’s heart not beating? Are they going to die?”_

_After she spoke, Thea let out a small whimper, eyes stinging with tears. Really, Thea’s mummy wasn’t the nicest of mummies. Sure, she sometimes didn’t like to talk to Thea and would snap at her whenever Thea was excited about something, and she worked more than she spent time with her own daughter, but Thea still really couldn’t imagine a life without her mother. And she hadn’t met her baby brother yet, but she was really excited to. She thought she’d make a good big sister._

_“No, no, no,” her father immediately replied, shaking his head while drawing Thea in his side. Thea nuzzled into the crook of his arm, trying and failing to stifle a sob. “Mummy and Will are going to be fine. But there is something wrong with Will’s heart. It isn’t like yours or mine, and he’ll need surgery to get it fixed. But he’ll be fine after that. Okay?”_

_“Okay,” she whimpered, nodding in his shirt. She stayed there for a moment before pulling away. Her eyes were wide and tearful as they stared up towards her father. “So, I’m still going to be a big sister?”_

_Thea’s dad smile down at her, but Thea thought he looked much too sad to be smiling. “Yes, baby, and you’re going to be the bestest big sister ever. Right?”_

_Thea nodded happily, forgetting for a moment why she was even crying in the first place. She just really wanted to see her baby brother._

_“Can I see him?”_

_“The doctors are helping him right now, baby. Maybe later.”_

_Thea pouted, slouching. “Okay.”_

_Her dad pulled her into his side one last time, before releasing her. “I’m going to check on Mummy. Why don’t you go back to sleep? I’ll send the nurse back over here.”_

_Thea nodded, suddenly feeling extremely tired. She laid back down on the couch, struggling to keep her eyes open for as long as she could, but when she just couldn’t keep it up any longer, she fell asleep thinking about her baby brother._

_She just really wanted to meet him._

* * *

Thea stared at Liam for a few moments, completely sure he had read the report wrong. Surely, her brother wasn’t a match for Cayden. The odds of that were… well, it just couldn’t be. She kept her gaze steady on Liam, only allowing it to falter for a second to look at Will before turning back. Liam’s eyes were still scanning through her brother’s chart when he looked up at Will, eyes wide.

“You had VSD?”

 _What?_ Thea’s head began to spin in that moment.

“I… don’t know?” Will’s eyes were blown wide, forming the sentence as a question rather than a statement. “My little Irish cousin here—” Niall looked mildly offended at that description of himself—“just took one look at that report thing then said we needed to get my sister.”

Thea’s eyes darted towards Will, who unsuccessfully attempted to shrug his shoulders, seeming awfully confused as he spoke. His eyes were wide, and he had his hand resting over his injured arm, as if this conversation was causing him discomfort. Leaning over, Thea glanced down at Will’s chart, brows furrowing when she saw that sure enough VSD was listed as a previous ailment.

_“No, no, no,” her father immediately replied, shaking his head while drawing Thea in his side. Thea nuzzled into the crook of his arm, trying and failing to stifle a sob. “Mummy and Will are going to be fine. But there is something wrong with Will’s heart. It isn’t like yours or mine, and he’ll need surgery to get it fixed. But he’ll be fine after that. Okay?”_

“It was when you were born,” she spoke quietly, not realizing she had voiced her thoughts until she felt three sets of eyes on her.

“When I was born?” Will asked. “What about it?”

Thea turned towards her brother. “I remember Dad taking me to the hospital after Mum had you. He told me there was something different about your heart, but I just never put two and two together until now.”

“B-But I never had to take any medication or anything? Wouldn’t I need medication?”

Thea thought for a moment. Typical cases of VSD required medication throughout the life to regulate the heart’s functionalities. The only cases where medication wasn’t needed was when the VSD was exceptionally—

_“He’ll need surgery to get it fixed. But he’ll be fine after that. Okay?”_

Thea turned sharply towards Will. “It was a minor case. Simple repair done in surgery. After that, you were fine.”

“I was always in and out of the doctor’s growing up.” Will’s eyes darted between Thea and Liam. “That has to be why.”

“And that’s why you’re a match,” Liam said suddenly, voice laden with realization. “Cayden’s and your heart are the same. Cayden’s condition is just more extreme.”

“Don’t you see, Thea?” Niall spoke for the first time, standing at Will’s bedside. “This is what we’ve been waiting for. We can finally start properly treating that baby.”

Thea narrowed her eyes in Niall’s direction, suddenly feeling slightly protective at the term _that baby._

 _His name is Cayden_ , she thought bitterly, though she managed to bite her tongue.

After another beat, Thea sighed, shaking her head before allowing it to hang. “It’s not that easy, Niall.”

“How is it not?” Liam asked.

“Because we can’t just decide this. It’s for Will to decide.”

At the mention of his name, Will’s eyes grew wide, straightening his posture while presumingly tweaking his arm because the movement soon followed a grimace. He looked towards Thea, expectantly, and she knew he was waiting for her to ask. She took several steps closer to him until she was switching places with Niall, standing at her brother’s bedside.

“Will,” she whispered gently, “you don’t have to do this. Please don’t feel like I’m pushing you to do this.”

Will cocked his head to side. “But you want me to do it, don’t you? It’s okay if you do.”

Thea sighed, closing her eyes for a moment before turning towards Niall and Liam. “Could you lot give us some privacy?”

The pair nodded before shuffling out of the door, shutting it behind them.

“Will—”

He didn’t let her finish. “This is important to you, isn’t it? That baby and his father, they’re important to you?”

For a moment, the intensity of Will’s words caught her off guard, and she found herself unable to answer. With words, at least. So, Thea only nodded, unsure she could really form the right words to explain just _how_ _important_ they were.

There wasn’t a single pause before—

“Then I’ll do it.”

“I don’t want you—”

“Thea,” he interrupted her again, and this time, there was an esteemed amount of tenderness in his voice that Thea almost found herself choking up, “I’m doing this, and I _can_ do it because of you. You’re my sister. What’s important to you is important to me.”

She sighed heavily, suddenly unable to meet Will’s eyes. “I don’t want it to seem like I’m forcing you to do this. Like I’m putting them before you.”

“I know you’re not.” Will’s voice was unwavering, a hint of that smirk Thea had grown to love curving his mouth. “I’m doing this willingly, sis. There’s not a single soul with restraints forcing me to give some poorly infant a chance to live. That’s all me.”

A small chuckle bubbled from Thea’s chest. “How noble of you.”

“Eh.” Will shrugged, feigning indifference. “It was bound to happen one of these days. Me becoming one of the good guys.”

Thea laughed, shaking her head fondly. She could feel Will’s eyes on her as he smiled widely. When her laughter died down, her eyes found his.

“Thank you for this, Will.” Her tone was suddenly serious, but there was an undertone of gratefulness that couldn’t be mistaken. “You don’t know how much this’ll mean to so many people.”

“I think I’m beginning to understand. That must be one special baby.”

A small smile quirked Thea’s lip. “You have no idea.”

She leaned down to press a gentle kiss onto his hairline, brushing the stubborn hairs back. When she leaned back, she began making her way towards the door, though she only got so far before Will was calling her name again. Thea was quick to turn around, heart sinking. Her stomach dropped with thoughts of Will already changing his mind.

It took Will a few moments to seemingly work up the courage to speak. His head was casted down, eyes focused on his uninjured hand toying with the bed sheets. Thea waited patiently.

“His name was Alex,” he finally said after what felt like an eternity.

Thea slowly made her way towards Will, eyebrows furrowing as confusion set in.

“Alex?” she asked when she was standing at his bedside again.

Will looked up at her. “He was my boyfriend. I was living with him when I asked to borrow all that money.”

“Okay?” Thea said softly, trailing off into a question, urging him to continue.

“He wasn’t very good to me,” were the next words that left Will’s mouth, and Thea felt her blood turn to ice. Will’s head was ducked down once again. “He never hit me or anything, but he would say these things to me that made me feel like I was inferior. Sometimes, he would force me to…” Will paused, eyes clenching shut as his chest began to move at a quicker pace.

“Will, hey,” Thea spoke gently, moving to place her hand on top of his head. She gently raked her fingers through his hair in a way she knew calmed him down. “You’re okay. I’m here. You’re safe.”

Will took three deep breaths before he opened his eyes. “He would force me to do a lot things I didn’t want to.”

“You don’t have to continue.”

Will looked at Thea, determination in his eyes. “I want you to know.”

She nodded once. “Okay.”

“Okay.” Will mimicked her movements. He took another deep breath. “He kept hiking up my pay for rent, and I never had it. That’s always when he got angriest, so I went to you, thinking you could fix it all.”

“Will.”

“No, don’t feel bad.” He shook his head. “I was an absolute dick to you when I came to your flat that day. I was just so scared of what he’d to me if I didn’t get that money.”

“What’d you do?”

“I didn’t go back,” he said simply. “Once I left your place, I didn’t go back to his. I went to a friend of mine, and he’s let me crash there since.”

“Has Alex tried contacting you?”

“Yeah, the next day, but I changed my number after the tenth call.”

“Oh, Will.” Thea pressed forward, placing her forehead against her brother’s. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. If anything, it’s mine for staying with that bastard for so long.”

Thea shook his head. “No, never. This could never be your fault, William. You were a victim.”

“I don’t know.” Will shrugged, a sad smile playing on his lips. “Sometimes, I think I stayed with him because of Mum and Dad.”

“How?”

He looked up at her, and Thea swore she saw a glisten of tears in his eyes. The sight made her throat clench immediately.

“Because when I came out to them, I suddenly became worthless just because I didn’t fit their definition of a perfect son.” A single tear fell, and Will was quick to wipe it away. “So, it’s almost like I stayed with Alex to prove them right. I was worthless. At least, I felt worthless with him.”

“William Grace,” Thea spoke his name in a tenderly scolding manner, “you are worth the world, okay? And do not let anyone, for a second, get you doubting that. Not even our ignorant parents, do you hear me?”

Will’s bottom lip began to tremble as he nodded his head. His hand moved to wrap itself around Thea’s neck, pulling her forehead down until it rested against his own. Thea could feel her tears streaking down her face, and she was certain Will’s only matched hers. Her heart was aching, so she simply held onto her brother, praying that- that would be enough to fix him.

“You’re going to stay with me, okay?” she whispered in a way that left little room for argument. “I’ll get you a job here, so it would just make sense for you to live with me. You can quit that other job of yours.”

“That’s too much, Thea. I can’t ask you to do all of that.”

She pulled her forehead back, pressing a kiss where it once rested before looking towards him. “You’re my brother, Will. I take care of you. Always have, always will.”

* * *

Thea ended up spending the rest of the night at the hospital, nestled in the chair right beside Will’s bedside. He wouldn’t be discharged until the following morning, and Thea wasn’t going to leave his side until then, much to his (feigned) dismay.

“You know I’m not a child anymore,” he had said with a playful undertone as he watched her nestle into the chair.

Thea was already lying under the blanket, leaning her head against the back of the chair, completely ready for sleep when she responded, “You always will be one to me, baby bro.”

She watched Will fall asleep with a smile on his face.

The next morning, she found herself standing next to him as he signed his discharge papers. His injured arm was thoroughly casted, and his free hand gripped onto a bag of pain relievers. Besides all his physical ailments, Thea was certain she hadn’t seen her brother look this cheerful in a long time.

“You ready?” she asked once he had finished signing everything.

Will nodded, seeming eager to leave the hospital. He handed the papers off to a nearby nurse before turning to face Thea.

“Okay, perfect. Mason is here to take you back to our place,” she told him, steering him towards the exit. “I just have a couple of things I need to finish here then I’ll be home. Okay?”

They had made it to the exit as Will nodded again. “Okay.”

“Don’t forget to take your medication when it hurts. I’ll make Mason remind you if you don’t.” Thea leaned up on her toes, pressing a kiss to his cheek. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him playfully roll his eyes, and her lips curved into a smile. “See you at home.”

She was just beginning to turn away when—

“Thea?”

She turned around, eyebrows high on her forehead. “Yeah?”

“Thank you,” he said earnestly. The sincerity of his tone caused Thea’s eyes sting with blossoming tears.

There was a smile on her face when she said, “I’m always here for you, Will.”

* * *

An hour later, Thea was watching Cayden sleep peacefully in his carseat as his father sat across from her. They sat in a vacant room in the neonatal unit.

Harry’s eyes watched her warily. “Is this good or bad news?”

“Well, compared to all the other news I’ve delivered to you, I’d say this is more on the optimistic side.”

Harry took a moment to consider, eyes flickering down to Cayden before looking towards Thea again. He nodded his head in a silent gesture to continue.

“Do you remember my brother?” she asked as a precursor. “Will?”

Harry nodded.

“He was in a minor car accident.”

“Thea, I’m—”

Thea was quick to interrupt. “He’s fine. He just has a minor break in his left arm, but besides that, everything is fine.”

“Okay.” Harry nodded slowly, seeming to absorb the words. “What does this have to do with Cayden, Thea?”

Thea took a deep breath. “I made Niall take some blood work. Just to make sure everything was all right. I couldn’t do it, because I’m his immediate family.”

“What’d you find?” Harry asked slowly.

A pause, then, “Will’s a match, Harry. A match for Cayden.”

Harry’s eyebrows shot up as his gaze quickly made its way to his son. Cayden still slept peacefully in his carseat. The blanket that was draped across him was gripped in his tiny fist, eyes moving quickly beneath his eyelids as he lived in his world of dreams.

“How?” Harry’s eyes hadn’t left his son, and with the single words escaping his lips, his voice cracked minorly.

“WIll had a minor case of VSD when he was born,” she explained. “It was easily fixed surgically, but he still had it, and he’s dealt with it throughout his entire life without really knowing it. I was too young at the time to understand what it all meant until now.”

“And that means—”

“It means we can use Will’s cells to help Cayden. He’s a match.”

Harry didn’t say anything for a moment. He simply sat there, staring at Thea with wide eyes. His bottom lip soon began to tremble, and before Thea knew it, tears were streaming down his face. His eyes found his son, and it was as if Harry’s entire resolve came crashing down as he let a small, broken breath of relief.

“So.” His voice trembled as he spoke, and he bit his lip to reign in the quiver in his lip. “He’s going to be all right? Cayden’s going to live?”

Thea nodded simply. “He’s going to be okay. Cayden is going to be just fine, Harry.”

“Oh my God.”

Harry leapt out of his chair, and in one movement, he lifted Thea out of her chair, pressing her to his chest. He buried his face into the crook of her neck, heavy breaths leaving his lips in stuttered sounds. Thea’s arms immediately wrapped themselves around him, and she felt her eyes sting.

Suddenly, the pressure was gone.

The pressure she had felt, the tension, to save Cayden. To not only save Cayden but Harry as well. Suddenly, it was all gone, and it was replaced with an esteemed feeling of relief. The weight on her chest evaporated, and it was like she could breathe again. Cayden would live. He would live a long happy life. Harry would see it all. He would get to see his baby boy grow up, and it was because Thea found a way.

Thea felt light with relief.

“Thank you so much, Thea.” His breath was warm as it hit Thea’s neck. It caused goosebumps to arise, and she quickly suppressed a shiver. “Thank you for saving my son.”

That was when the tears began to fall down her cheeks.

Cayden was safe.

* * *

Harry felt like he could breathe again.

His heart felt whole again. _He_ felt whole again, and it was all because of Thea.

She was going to save him, actually save him. Cayden was going to be okay, and Harry would get to spend the rest of his life with his little boy. He would get to raise him, get to see him grow up and have kids of his own. Harry would get to see it all, and it was all because of Thea Grace.

Harry didn’t know how long he held onto Thea, but it felt like an eternity. She suddenly felt like his lifeline.

She _was_ Cayden’s lifeline. Maybe, she was his, too.

“Thank you so much, Thea,” he breathed, the words lifting the weight of the world off his shoulders. “Thank you for saving my son.”

That was when he felt the warmth of her tears hit his neck. It was another moment later that Thea pulled away, wiping at her cheeks. There was a faint smile on her lips, and Harry thought it was the most beautiful sight in the world.

“Don’t thank me yet,” she told him, but the lightness of her voice contradicted her words. “We still have trials to go through. It’ll be a lot of work, Harry. It’ll take two months to complete the trials and be able to operate.”

Harry’s brows furrowed as his hands dropped to his side. “Why that long?”

“Six months is usually the safe age to operate at this severe note.”

“But”—Harry swallowed roughly, eyes flickering towards his son—“he’ll be okay, right? It won’t be too late?”

Thea’s eyes widened, though before she could answer, Cayden began to squirm in his carseat, whimpering quietly. During their embrace, Thea had somehow become the closest one to Cayden, and before Harry could react, she was by his side in an instant, gently unstrapping him from his seat and pressing him to her chest before he could let out a solid cry.

Cayden’s distressed soon evolved once he was in Thea’s arms. His hands moved to grasp onto the piece of hair that had fallen out of her ponytail, cooing happily when he realized Thea was the one holding him. Harry’s entire chest filled with warmth as he watched Thea look down at Cayden. She moved the hand that was resting on his stomach to gently stroke his cheek. Cayden squealed excitedly.

Harry felt as if he would explode. He knew his eyes showcased the fondness he felt overwhelming his body. And when Thea looked up, the smile on her face slowly falling as her eyes widened, he knew his expression gave him away.

As Harry drew in a shaky breath, a thought struck him, and his stomach dropped.

He was undoubtedly and completely falling for with his son’s doctor.

* * *

Thea’s brows drew together as Harry just simply stared. She waited patiently for his response, but he only stared. Cayden had quieted down in her arms, and when she looked down, she saw he was once again falling asleep. Out of instinct, she began to gently rock from side to side. She could tell Cayden was fighting sleep, but a smile curved her lips as she watched his eyes finally close, a deep breath falling from his lips in surrender.

She looked up at Harry, raising a single eyebrow. “Harry? Did you hear me?”

“Huh?” Harry’s eyes widened as he shook his head. “What?”

“I asked you about Camille. What’s going on that front?”

Harry lifted a single shoulder. “I don’t know. I don’t know if I want her around, but I think for the sake of my son, I should try to keep her around.”

Thea pretended like those words didn’t mean anything to her. She quickly looked down to the floor as she nodded. Walking towards Harry, she gently handed Cayden to him. Harry took his son in his arms, and then she took a step back.

“Well.” Thea planted a smile on her face as she spoke, “I’ll always be here. For you and Cayden.”

Harry nodded. “I know.”

Thea walked passed Harry, making her way towards the door. Her hand was hovering over the doorknob when Harry called her name. She was quick to turn around, waiting patiently for whatever it was that he had to say.

“Thank you,” he whispered, looking down to Cayden for a moment before finding Thea’s eyes again. “For giving me my son forever.”

Thea smiled—for real, this time. “He’s always been yours, Harry. I didn’t do anything.”

Harry shook his head. “You’ve done more than you know.”

* * *

_One week later_

“Niall, don’t you dare touch my potatoes!”

Thea walked into Niall’s flat just in time to see her aunt Maura slap her son’s hand as he attempted to sneak a taste of the potatoes. She stifled a laugh, looking behind her to see Will’s expression mirroring her own. Liam and Mason were walking behind her as well, though they hadn’t quite noticed her family’s antics.

“Althea!”

Thea turned around to see her aunt making her way towards her. Maura’s arms were open wide miles before she made it to Thea, and Thea just knew she was in for one of her infamous-bone-crushing hugs. It was a hug only Maura could give.

“Hey, Aunt Maura.” She was just able to utter before her entire body was enveloped, and air suddenly became sparse.

Just then, Maura seemed to notice Will because she cried out, “William!” before swinging an arm around him and drawing him into the mix.

“N-Nice to see you too, Aunt Maura,” he rasped out, and Thea had to bite her lips to suppress a smile.

“I reckon the last time I saw you lot was when you were running around in diapers!” Maura gushed in between kisses she alternated between pressing onto Thea and Will’s cheeks.

“You saw us three Christmases ago, Aunt Maura,” Thea argued before managing to gently wrestle herself out of her aunt’s hugs. She pressed a kiss to her cheek as she went. “But it is _really_ good to see you.”

Thea pulled back to really look at Maura, and not for the first time was she struck with just how different Maura was from her mother. Maura was her mother’s sister, but those two couldn’t have been more different if they were black and white. Warm and cold. Maura was a mother through and through. She was gentle, nurturing. She everything a mother should be, and she made you feel calm and safe by just being in the same room as her. Maura was warmth.

Maria Grace was decidedly not.

Maria Grace was everything a mother shouldn’t be—judgemental, evasive, neglectful. All the things a child feared their parent would be was Maria Grace. Simply, Maria was cold. The iciest of colds, Thea had decided a long time ago.

Looking at her Aunt Maura, it startled her to think just how different her life would be if Maura had been her mother.

“Did you hear me, dear?”

Thea was jolted from her thoughts, blinking three times before she zoned in on Maura. “I’m sorry?”

“The salad,” Maura said. “Would you like to help me make it?”

Just as they were about to turn around, Maura noticed Liam and Mason standing behind Will, and her face brightened.

“Mason, dear!”

She threw her arms around Mason before Mason could properly evade, though it only lasted a second before she pulled back, eyeing Liam.

“And who is this handsome fella?”

Thea shook her head fondly, stepping towards the group. “This is Liam, Aunt Maura. Mason’s boyfriend and my friend slash colleague.”

Maura nodded, smiling widely. “Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Liam.”

“You as well, ma’am.”

“Oh, none of that! Call me Aunt Maura.” Then she turned to Mason, pressing a kiss to both her cheeks. “It’s lovely seeing you again, dear! How’s everything been? How’s law school going?”

Mason smiled. “It’s great to see you, too, Aunt Maura! And everything’s going great! Law school is hard, but it’s good. I like it.”

“Lovely!” Suddenly, there was a clatter of dishes followed by a few choice expletives from the kitchen, and Aunt Maura whirled around. “Niall Horan! If you’re messing with my home-cooked meal, you are going straight to bed without any dinner!”

And before Thea could even think about stifling her laugh, Will barked in laughter, and Thea just couldn’t contain hers. Warmth filled her, and she leaned her forehead against her brother’s shoulder.

Thea came to the conclusion that this, the people standing in Niall’s flat, was her family, and she didn’t need any blood tests to prove it.

* * *

“So, Will, Niall tells me you’re working at Thea’s hospital? Is that true?”

Thea sat between Will and Mason at the dinner table. There was constant chit chat to accompany with clinks of forks on plates, and Thea was more than happy to be apart of this get together. Aunt Maura had taken turns asking each person at the table small questions, updating herself on each of their lives. Her eyes were settled contently on Will.

He nodded his head. “I am. After my accident, Thea was kind enough to set me up with a clerk job and let me crash at her flat for the time being.”

“That was very kind, indeed!” She turned to face Thea. “Do your parents know about that, Thea?”

Maura was the only adult in her family that called Thea by the abbreviated version of her name. Her parents, and just about everyone else, insisted on Althea even though they knew she preferred Thea. Then again, Thea was certain no one was as kind as Maura in her family.

At the mention of their parents, Thea glanced briefly at Will only to see his hand nearly buried in his mashed potatoes. He looked as if he’d rather be having any other conversation in the world besides this one.

“I haven’t told them, no.” Thea looked back towards Maura, shaking her head. “I’m not on regular speaking terms with my parents. Besides, the attending doctor on my floor, June Avery, helped get Will a job. So, I pretty much just went through her.”

Maura nodded slowly. “I understand. Even growing up, your mother was never the best conversationalist.”

Thea only nodded, knowing of no other way to respond.

“Anyway! Niall’s told me a great deal about the infant you’re treating. Cameron, is it?”

“Cayden,” Thea corrected, smiling while bobbing her head. “But yeah. He’s an amazing kid. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the time I’ve had with him, and we just found a new lead with his treatment about a week ago, so we’ve started that. And well, so far, so great.”

Maura beamed like a proud mother, and Thea felt a surge of warmth in the pit of her stomach. “That’s wonderful! You’re doing great things for that baby. And his father.”

Immediately, a feeling of warmth spread across her cheeks, and Thea had to duck her head down to hide the flush. _Pathetic_ , she thought, _one mention of the guy, and you’re completely melting._

“Yeah,” Mason chipped in, and Thea could feel her eyes on her. There was an edge of amusement in Mason’s voice that Thea certainly did not like. “And it sure does help that the father’s incredibly too handsome.”

Liam snickered into his food, looking at his girlfriend much too proudly, while Niall smiled all too smugly into his glass of beer. Though before Maura had the chance to respond, Thea’s phone began to ring in her pocket. She quickly dug it out, about to apologize and turn it off when she saw the name flashing across her screen.

She looked towards her aunt. “I’m sorry, I really need to take this.”

Thea was up and out of her chair before a response was give. She walked straight out of the kitchen, placing the phone to her ear.

“Harry?” she greet softly, turning her head to make sure she wasn’t followed, “is everything all right?”

There was a sharp gasp of breath then, “Thea, I- I need you.”

* * *

It took Thea exactly sixteen minutes to get to Harry’s flat, and by the time she got to his door, she didn’t even bother knocking. She simply poked her head through before letting herself all the way in.

“Harry?”

There was no response, but she soon found his in the living room, rocking a sleeping Cayden to his chest. His eyes were wide as they settled on Thea. Her heart stuttered a beat as she took in their attire. Harry was wearing a polka dot printed button up with some fitted slacks. A pair of velvet boots completed the ensemble, and when her eyes reached the top of his head, her breathe was lost from her lungs. Since the last time she had saw him, he’d gotten a haircut, and his jawline was so accentuated that Thea didn’t think she’d ever look away. The sides were shaved, majority of the hair residing on the top, and that portion was styled to perfection. Thea had trouble swallowing.

When her eyes landed on Cayden, her heart almost burst. He was wearing a checkered button up with a sweater cardigan buttoned over it. He had on black slacks that looked like the shrunken version of his father’s, and he had on socks that looked like dress shoes. Thea was certain she hadn’t seen anything cuter in the entire world, and the sight of the pair could make the burliest of person completely melt.

“Hey,” she whispered softly, eyes darting between his and Cayden, “what’s going on? Is Cayden okay?”

Harry didn’t respond. At least, not vocally. Instead, he wrenched a piece of paper from the coffee table below him, throwing it up in the air.

“She left a fucking note again,” he hissed, and Thea’s eyes immediately went to Cayden, making sure Harry’s distress hadn’t woken him. Her heart clenched in her chest because she knew exactly who Harry was talking about. Camille. “I’m supposed to be at my sister’s flat because we’re all having dinner for Cayden’s first Easter.”

“Hey.” Thea took gentle steps towards Harry, gingerly taking Cayden out of his arms. She pressed him into her chest, hugging him before moving to place him in the mobile swing in the living room. After strapping him in, she turned to face Harry. “What did the note say?”

Her voice was quiet, and she watched at Harry’s head fell forward, shaking in disbelief. “Pretty much the same thing as the other one. But this time, she said she would always help Cayden in any way she could medically, but she couldn’t be his mother.”

“Harry, I’m—”

“I’m such a fucking idiot,” he interrupted her, scoffing. He shook his head in disbelief before continuing. “How was I so daft? I gave her another chance, and it blew up in my fucking face.”

Thea immediately shook her head, taking a step towards him. “It’s not your fault, Harry.”

“Except I was the one that let her in our lives again, and now she’s gone.”

“You didn’t know she was going to leave again.”

“I should’ve.”

Thea sighed heavily. She walked to Harry, gently grabbing his hand and leading him towards the couch. Sitting down, she patted the spot next to her, urging Harry to sit. He looked at the cushion warily for a moment, so she simply patted the space a little harder, and Harry sighed in defeat, quickly sitting.

“Cayden loves you, you know,” Thea said quietly when Harry was fully seated. Harry’s eyes flickered to Cayden, and they immediately softened. “You’re all he needs, Harry. If Camille doesn’t want to be apart of his life, then fine. All he needs is you.”

Harry’s gaze was still focused on Cayden. “How could she not want him? How does she not love him?”

“I don’t know.” Thea shrugged her shoulders, and Harry finally turned to look at her. “But Cayden’s special, Harry. I’ve known that from the minute of first saw him. He deserves to be loved wholly, and you give him that.”

“I love him so much, Thea.” Harry’s voice dropped to a whisper. Thea felt goosebumps rise on her arms at the sound of it. “He’s everything to me.”

Thea nodded. “I know.”

It was silent for a beat or two. The only noise was the soothing sound of Cayden’s breath as he slept soundly.

“You know,” Harry finally spoke, voice slightly raspy. “I really should be more upset about the mother of my child leaving again. But he has you, so I know he’s going to be okay.”

A small smile spread across her lips. “I’m always going to be here, Harry. For you and Cayden.”

“I know,” he whispered.

And suddenly, the air around them grew tense. The weight of the words they just shared could be felt on Thea’s shoulders, but it wasn’t a weight that was unwelcomed. In fact, she relished in it. The weight of the promises the words held. Harry’s eyes held so much emotion that Thea almost felt her heart pound its way out of her chest. Then his eyes shifted down to her lips, and she was sure she was going into cardiac arrest.

“Thea,” Harry whispered gently, and Thea wasn’t sure she could find the words to speak, so she simply looked at him. “I really want to kiss you right now.”

And those were the words that completely obliterated Thea’s self control. Before she had a chance to draw in another breath, her hand was curving its way around the back of Harry’s neck, pulling him towards her. Harry went willingly, and Thea felt butterflies form in her stomach. She stopped pulling him towards her right as his lips became a breath away from hers. Harry was panting already, and each exhale fanned across her lips. Thea felt dizzy.

She wanted him to make the final move. She wanted to make sure he wanted this too. That everything she had been feeling the past few months wasn’t simply one sided. She wanted to make sure it was reciprocated.

So, she wanted him to make the final move. To prove to her that he felt this too.

And he did.


	13. when it's three months later

**Three months later**

Thea stood at the front desk of the pediatrics floor. Her eyes were glued on Harry as he stood across the room, talking with Dr. Avery. She wanted him to look over at her, just one look in her direction. That was all she wanted. Because if he did, she was convinced she wouldn’t be feeling this way anymore.

Then her eyes drifted down to the carrier holding her favorite infant. There was a blanket draped over the carseat, and she knew Harry had put it there because Cayden was sleeping. The ache in her chest heightened, and Thea struggled to remember the last time she had contact with either of the Styles men.

Her gaze was too preoccupied on the two in front of her that she hadn’t heard Will sneak up on her. That is, until his voice was in her ear.

“What are we watching?”

Thea nearly jumped out of her skin, swirling around to see her brother leaning against the desk, eyes watching her expectantly. His eyes flickered to where Thea’s once were, and realization seemed to dawn on him.

“Ah,” he breathed, looking towards his sister again, “so, I’m guessing you two are still on the outs.”

“Not on the outs.” She shook her head, pretending to busy herself in the stack of charts piling up on the counter. “We’re just not… anything.”

Will looked at her sympathetically. “You know I don’t believe that for a second. A few months ago, all you two would do is undress each other with your eyes.”

Thea’s head snapped towards her brother. “William! Don’t say it like that! We’re at _work_.”

“Don’t be such a prude, sister dearest.” He chuckled, shaking his head.

Will’s gaze drifted towards Harry again, and his expression sobered quickly. When Thea followed that gaze, the breath was lost from her lungs. Dr. Avery had walked away from both Harry and Cayden, and there must had been something that upset Cayden, because he was in Harry’s arms, rocking steadily back and forth. And Harry’s eyes were set on Thea, watching with the saddest of gleams there, and Thea suddenly forgot how to breathe. Her heart pounded painfully in her chest, and there was a cold feeling that pricked all over her skin. It was like her entire body was mocking her with what was no longer hers. Really, it was mocking her with what was never hers.

Suddenly, a light touch on her arm reared her back to herself, and she whipped her head around to see Will staring at her sadly.

“Hey,” he whispered, leaning in towards her, “how about we go grab some breakfast to eat? I know for a fact you haven’t had any coffee yet, and we all know how dangerous that can be.”

Thea shook her head, smiling softly. “It’s all right. You go ahead. Cayden’s surgery is in a few days, so I’ve got a lot to prep on.”

Will tilted his head. “You sure?”

“I am.” She nodded, squeezing her brother’s arm as she walked passed him. “See you at home, okay?”

With that, she walked away, and no matter how hard she tried, Thea couldn’t ignore the weight of her heart boring her down.

* * *

_Thea was floating._

_She was on cloud nine, and she never wanted down._

_Harry’s eyes were intensely on hers as he pulled back, his lips still puckering a bit as he seemed to absorb the fact of what just happened. Thea felt her lips tingle, and she resisted the urge to press her fingers against then, as if to make what happened was all the more real. His right hand was cupping her cheek so gently that her heart ached. His left hand gripped her hip with all the passion of the man who was sealing her name into her skin with his lips just moments ago._

_Thea’s cheeks flushed at the memory._

_“Thea,” he whispered, and Thea wanted nothing more than to hear him say her name like that over and over again. “Thea, c’mere.”_

_And who was she to deny him?_

_Harry’s lips fell on hers for the second time, and she was floating again._

_The tips of his fingers dug into her hip as he pressed himself into her, lips covering hers over and over. Thea felt like she could live in this moment forever, and perhaps she would, if the sound of Cayden’s cry hadn’t broken them apart. In an instance, the fog cleared from Harry’s eyes, and he was instantly in dad mode. Seeing it was almost as good as kissing him, Thea figured._

_“Let me grab him real quick,” he whispered, leaning in to peck her lips lightly. “I’ll be right back.”_

_Thea could only nod, unable to find her words._

_With one last kiss, Harry was up on his feet, walking towards his son. His eyes were on Thea until they physically couldn’t be, and Thea’s stomach didn’t a little flip at the sight of his disheveled hair. Disheveled hair that was a product of her fingers._

_She watched as he tenderly cooed down to Cayden, effectively stopping his cries with the sound of his voice. Cayden’s eyes widened at the sight of his dad, hands reaching out in his attempt to be held. Cayden squealed when Harry began unstrapping him, and his squeals turned into incoherent babbling when Harry pressed him to his chest._

_“Somebody was feeling a little left out, huh?” Harry sat down beside Thea, and she reached out to gently hold Cayden’s hand. He gurgled._

_“Hey there, buddy,” she cooed, smiling. “Are you having a happy Easter, huh? Did the Easter Bunny treat you well?”_

_Harry pressed a kiss to Cayden’s cheek. “Say, ‘he sure did’, didn’t he?”_

_Cayden only babbled some more._

_Thea’s eyes flicked up towards Harry’s to find him already watching her. She smiled softly. “I should probably get going. Let you both get to Gemma’s before it’s too late.”_

_She began to stand up, pressing a kiss to Cayden’s cheek as she did._

_“Wait,” Harry said, grabbing her hand with his free one, “stay here with us. I’ll text Gemma and tell her we won’t be able to make it. Just- just stay here, please?”_

_Harry’s eyes are wide, pleading for her to stay. And with Cayden sat in his lap, mumbling happily and incoherently, Thea was pretty much powerless. She simply nodded, sitting down next to them and plucking Cayden from Harry._

_She pressed a single kiss to the top of Cayden’s head, eyes solely on Harry. “I’ll stay.”_

_And the look on Harry’s face was completely worth it._

_Thea was truly floating._

* * *

Thea felt like she was sinking.

She was simply on her way to join Niall and Liam for lunch. They had claimed she was skipping out on their daily lunch sessions far too much, and if she didn’t show her face, they would no other choice but to disown her. Of course, at that, Thea did nothing but roll her eyes while sarcastically promising to make an appearance.

In fact, Thea was feeling better than she had in days. Cayden’s surgery was only days away, though she hadn’t seen him or his father in far too long, she was feeling optimistic about the surgery’s outcome. Cayden was going to live. And she was more than thrilled about that. Even if she wouldn’t be around to see him do it, at least he was living.

Though Thea’s chipper mood soon dissipated when she turned the corner, spotting a set of much too familiar forms, and her stomach dropped. She was sinking. Thinking quickly, she ducked behind the corner she just turned on and hid.

Thea couldn’t handle a confrontation. Not now.

She waited for a moment or two, her heart beating without abandon in her chest. It wasn’t until she counted to fifty three times in her head that she finally peeked.

The spot the pair had once occupied was completely empty, and Thea felt like she could breathe again. Quickly, she made her way around the corner again, walking swiftly to avoid—

“Althea!”

Thea flinched, halting. Her eyes closed in defeat as she slowly turned around. Her parents were advancing in her direction, and she heaved a heavy sigh.

Briefly, she thought about plastering a faux smile on her face, but she figured faking enthusiasm wouldn’t benefit any of them. So, she simply allowed the frown tilting her lips to stay put.

When her parents stood in front of her, she didn’t greet them, simply saying, “What are you two doing here?”

Maria sneered at her daughter. “That is not the proper way to greet your parents, Althea.”

“Well, I wasn’t really greeting my parents,” Thea countered. “I was greeting you two.”

“Althea,” her dad spoke in a reprimanding tone, and Thea wanted to laugh at the irony of it all. They were choosing _now_ to actually parent.

Maria cut him off. “It’s no use, James. You know how she gets when she’s in one of her moods.”

Thea scoffed, shaking her head. “All right, well, now that we’re done patronizing me, have you seen Will?”

Both her parents tensed at the mention of her brother.

“What do you mean?” James asked, face stony.

“Will, your son,” Thea said, rolling her eyes, “he works here now. Have you paid him a visit?”

Maria looked mildly surprised. “William works here now?”

“Yep.” She nodded. “He works the front desk in peds, and you would know that if you bothered to call him. You know, after not speaking to him for almost three years now.”

“William chose the way he wanted to live his life a long time ago,” Maria spoke with disgust. “And as his parents, we will not condone such behavior.”

Instantly, Thea became outraged. Her face scrunched into absolute disgust, her eyes narrowing at her mother. Her father wouldn’t meet Thea’s eyes. He simply stood idly by while his wife sullied the name of their son. To Thea, that was just as bad as sullying the name itself.

“Do you even hear yourself right now?” Thea spat, eyes wide with rage. “You think he _chose_ this? Do you really think Will chose for his parents to condemn him? Because if you do, you’re not only shitty parents, but you’re shitty people.”

Maria’s mouth opened to protest, but Thea was quick to cut her off.

“For you to treat him like this just because he is who he is- is sickening,” she continued, venom sipping from her words. She knew she was attracting attention from various people, but she didn’t care one bit. “Will was born this way, and you hating him will never change that. It’s not some switch he can flip and suddenly start being attracted to girls. He’s _gay_.” Both her parent flinched at the word. “And that’s not ever going to change. He’s attracted to men, whether you like it or not.”

She waited for response, and when she didn’t get one, she continued.

“Will didn’t choose this.” Her voice was significantly quieter, but the disappointment was still just as prominent. “It’s just who he is, and you want to know the saddest part? You made his worst fear come true. He was so terrified to come out to the both of you, and you did exactly what he was scared of. In my opinion, that makes you scum.”

“Althea,” James whispered. For a moment, a flicker of regret surfaced his eyes, but he quickly masked it.

Thea shook her head. “No, you both need to go, and please leave Will alone. I don’t need you reopening old wounds of his. He’s finally in a good place, and the last thing he needs is to see the both of you. So, leave.”

She didn’t wait for them to listen, simply turning on her heels and walking away. There was a thrum of anger still pulsing through her, but with each step farther from her parents, it slowly began to dissolve. And when she found herself in a vacated hallway on the other side of the hospital, the anger was gone, replaced with complete and utter exhaustion.

Thea was just so _tired_.

* * *

_The sun was somehow sunnier, Thea was sure of it._

_The birds’ chirps seemed much more melodic than they did yesterday. And her coffee tasted extra good._

_Logically, Thea knew nothing had changed from the day before, but emotionally, it felt like everything had changed. Because she now knew what Harry’s lips against hers felt like. She knew what it was like to be in his arms as she held a sleeping Cayden to her chest. She was fully immersed into the Styles boys’ world yesterday, and she didn’t intend to leave it anytime soon._

_“You’re rather chipper this morning.” Thea looked up to see Mason as she groggily made her way into the kitchen._

_Thea took another sip of coffee, leaning further back at the kitchen table. “Just got a good night’s rest, I s’pose.”_

_“Mhm.” Mason grabbed a cereal bowl from the top cabinet, eyeing Thea suspiciously. “And your mood has nothing to do with a gorgeous, green-eyed man and his obnoxiously adorable baby?”_

_Thea didn’t respond, but she was fairly certain the smile overtaking her face spoke volumes._

_Mason’s eyes widened, stopping mid cereal-pour. “Shut the fuck up.”_

_“Excuse me?”_

_“Tell me you didn’t.”_

_“Didn’t what, Mase?” Thea’s face scrunched up in confusion. “You’re not making any sense.”_

_Mason gasped, dropping the box, and Thea watched as the contents of it spilled across her kitchen floor._

_“Mason, what the hell are you doing?” Thea abandoned her cup of coffee to kneel on the floor and pick up pieces of cereal spread across the floor, though she soon found herself being tugged from the floor, Mason’s hands being the culprit._

_“No time for cleanliness,” she said hurriedly. There was a wide grin on her face. “You finally did it.”_

_Thea was growing slightly exasperated. “Still lost here.”_

_“It’s about fucking time, too.” Mason ignored her comment. “The sexual tension was about ready to kill us all.”_

_“Wait, Mason—”_

_“I mean, I couldn’t be any prouder of you shagging someone.”_

_Thea’s entire face turned a bright red, and she was sure even Mason could feel the heat radiating from it. Her heart stuttered a beat as she thought about the implications of Mason’s words, but she quickly pushed those thoughts away._

_Now was not the time for_ that _._

 _“We didn’t- there wasn’t any… we- we didn’t do_ that _.” Thea suddenly became incapable of saying the actual word._

_Mason gave her a look of disbelief, and Thea scoffed._

_“His son was in the room the entire time, Mason!”_

_Mason’s laugh boomed through the flat, though before she could even attempt to comment on the rosy nature Thea’s cheeks took to, Thea’s phone began to ring, effectively cutting their conversation short. As Thea reached for her phone, Mason threw her an amused gaze, as if to say the conversation wasn’t over yet. Thea responded with an eye roll._

_“Hello?” Thea stepped out of the kitchen, turning her head to make sure her roommate wasn’t following._

_The person on the other line didn’t respond until Thea was safely tucked into the confines in her room, door shut._

_“Thea.” Harry’s voice cracked, and the sudden spark of warmth at the sound of his voice was drowned out by dread._

_“What’s wrong?”_

_There was a pause that seemed to last forever, and then, “We- we can’t see each other anymore.”_

_And suddenly, it was as if everything turned darker. The sun lost its warmth, all the birds grew quiet as Thea found it hard to swallow. She gripped the phone tighter in her hand, waiting for a few moments for Harry to laugh. Maybe it was a joke. If she kept waiting long enough, he’d reveal himself, laughing at how gullible she was. That would be much more optimal. Though the longer she waited, the heavier her stomach got as he didn’t say a single thing._

_“I don’t understand,” she whispered, unable to speak any louder. “What do you mean?”_

_“I mean, Cayden and I- we don’t need you in our lives.”_

_And that was when all color drained from Thea’s life._

_Harry didn’t give her time to respond. “Cayden’s getting attached to you, Thea, and I just- I can’t put him in another situation like Camille. He can’t lose anymore people.”_

I can’t lose anymore people _, Thea wanted to say, but it was selfish. And Thea was anything but selfish._

_“My son is the most important thing to me, Thea,” Harry continued on, and Thea couldn’t help but think he was digging himself a deeper grave. “You have to understand that.”_

_Thea’s face scrunched up, a confused smile curving her lips. “I know that? Of course, I understand that, Harry.”_

_“Then you must understand why we can’t take this any further.” She wanted to say that ‘this’ had barely even started. “You and me, Thea, we can’t happen.”_

_“Harry, I—”_

_He cut her off. “Cayden has very few people in his life forever, and I can’t keep adding to the list of people that are inevitably going to leave him. I- I can’t.”_

_Thea nodded once. “Got it.”_

_“Right now, I just need you to be his doctor.”_

_“Duly noted.”_

_Then she hung up, not waiting for Harry to respond._

_And all she could think was that this must be what heartbreak felt like. The sinking feeling in her gut, the burning sensation in her throat, the stinging in her eyes. The way her heart thumped almost painfully, all of it._

_It was heartbreak, and Thea realized she was all too familiar with the feeling._

* * *

“Did you know your parents are here?”

Thea’s head whipped up to see Niall looking at her expectantly. She was currently filling out the rest of her patients’ charts, and her eyes darted around to make sure Will wasn’t in the nearby vicinity. When he was nowhere to be found, she turned back to Niall.

“Would you keep your voice down, please?” She whispered-hissed. “Will still doesn’t know they’re here, and I’d like to keep it that way.”

Niall quirked an eyebrow up. “And Maria and James agreed to stay away from him?”

“More or less.” Thea tilted her head from side to side. “I kind of yelled at them after they made some homophobic comment then told them to leave the hospital, so there’s that.”

Niall nodded, smirking. “I wouldn’t expect anything less from you.”

Thea simply rolled her eyes, ignoring the swell of pride she felt in her stomach before she went back to working on the charts again. She was still very aware of Niall standing in front of the desk, but she ignored him, staring unseeingly at the charts.

“You know, Will told me what happened.” His voice was significantly lower, “with, uh, you and Harry.”

Thea froze for a moment before continuing her work as if nothing happened. “There’s nothing really to tell.”

“Except for the fact that he blew you off.”

“Niall—”

“It’s been three months since you’ve so much as uttered his name, Thea,” Niall said in a knowing tone. “I think I could’ve put two and two together without your little brother.”

Thea didn’t respond, simply shaking her head slowly.

_Right now, I just need you to be his doctor._

_You and me, Thea, we can’t happen._

_I mean, Cayden and I- we don’t need you in our lives._

“Thea.” Niall leaned across the desk, taking Thea’s hand in his. “Talk to me. What happened?”

She shook her head again, closing her head for a moment. “Nothing happened. I’m still Cayden’s doctor, and we’re still going to save his life with the surgery in a few days. And that’s it.”

“That’s it?”

Thea nodded. “That’s it.”

Niall looked as if he wanted to say something else, but before he could, “Althea.”

Thea looked passed Niall to see her father standing a little ways behind him, waiting patiently with a soft look on his face. Niall’s head whipped around to see who it was, and he immediately whipped back around, eyes wide as he stared at Thea.

“What do you want, James?” she asked, ignoring the way her dad flinched at the use of his real name.

“Do you think I could speak with you for a moment, in private?”

Thea looked to Niall, who only shrugged helplessly, before she nodded her head, “Fine.”

* * *

_Thea heard Will’s footsteps before she heard his voice. His feet always fell so heavily, and from the moment he steadily began to walk, Thea was able to depict her brother’s footsteps out in a crowd._

_He called her name once, twice. When he called it a third time and got no answer, Thea heard his steps start to move towards her bedroom. She was laying underneath the duvet when he walked in, head and all completely submerged._

_“Thea?”_

_She didn’t answer, burying her head deeper into her pillow. Will didn’t speak again. She heard his footsteps approach the bed before he laid down next to her, curling his body around hers._

_“What happened, Thea?” His voice whispered softly, and Thea almost cried with the fragility of it all._

_Slowly, she pulled the duvet back from her head, revealing her tear-stained cheeks. Will’s eyes widened at the sight before his hand moved to gently wiped the moisture from her face with the pad of his thumb._

_“Talk to me,” he whispered again, and Thea squeezed her eyes shut._

_“I-I’ve lost them, Will,” she whimpered, burying her into the crook of her brother’s neck. “They want nothing to do with me. I blew it.”_

_“Shh.” He combed his fingers through her hair. “Who, Thea?”_

_“H-Harry and Cayden.”_

_Will didn’t respond to that, and it was almost like he knew that no matter what he said, it wouldn’t take Thea’s pain away. So, he simply held onto his sister, pressing his lips to her temple in hopes that his touch would heal her, or maybe she could heal herself. It was all in her name, after all._

_So, he held her, whispering how it was going to be okay. She was going to be fine. She was Althea. She had to be fine._

* * *

Thea found herself sitting in an old office room on the cardio floor she had no idea existed, though considering her dad owned this building, she figured he knew about all sorts of secret rooms that she didn’t. Her dad sat behind the desk while Thea sat in front of it, as if it were a business meeting and not a father and a daughter talking.

And the saddest part, Thea expected nothing more.

“I’ve got work to do, so if we could speed this along.”

James sighed, ducking his head for a moment before looking up at Thea. “There’s some important business matters we need to discuss, Althea.”

Thea scoffed, rolling her eyes. “Figures. What is it?”

“Well, it was always your mother’s and my intention to give you this hospital after you finished your residency,” he said, explaining slowly. “Your mother and I have loved owning it. It was a good way to stay in the medical field even though we weren’t practicing medicine anymore.”

Thea’s eyebrows furrowed. “Okay, and?”

“And,” he continued, “we think you’re ready for it now. For the hospital, that is.”

Thea looked at him like he was mental. “What?”

“It was always our dream to pass this hospital down to our kids, since the day we first opened it,” he explained, motioning around the room to emphasize his words. “And we think you deserve to have it now.

“I haven’t even finished my first year of residency,” she reminded him. “How in the world could I be ready to run a hospital?”

James smiled amusedly. “You wouldn’t be running. You’d own it.”

“Why are you giving it just to me?” she asked. “What about Will?”

“He doesn’t have any interest in anything medical, we both know that,” James said as if that made all the sense in the world.

“Owning this place is the same as any other business,” Thea said spitefully. “You can’t cut Will out of the picture just because he doesn’t want to be a doctor.”

James was about to respond when Thea cut him off.

“And you haven’t even seen him in how long?” She bit. “How could possibly know if he didn’t want to be in the medical field? You haven’t asked him ever.”

“Your brother chose his life, Althea.”

Thea laughed emotionlessly, shaking her head. “There you go with this homophobic shit again. Your _son_ didn’t choose anything. This is who he is, James. Just like you didn’t _choose_ to be attracted to women. You just are. Same thing with Will.”

“Thea, I—”

Thea shook her head, cutting him off as she stood. “Keep the hospital. I’d rather have my brother.”

“How about I let you think about it?” He had the audacity to suggest as her hand gripped the door knob. “Then you give me a real answer.”

She didn’t even bother turning to look at him. “I’ve already given you one, and I’m not changing my mind.”

And then she left.

* * *

Will was sitting at the front desk of the pediatrics floor when Thea got there. He wasn’t working. He was simply sitting, and by the look on his face, Thea knew there was something wrong.

“Will?” she spoke hesitantly, making her way behind the desk.

He didn’t look up at her. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you what?” Her eyebrows furrowed as she leaned in closer to her brother. She placed a hand on his shoulder, and as if the touch burned him, Will jerked back. “Will, what’s going on? What did I do?”

He finally looked at her, and Thea expected to see anger in his eyes, but instead, she saw nothing but pain. “Our parents. They’re here. Why didn’t you tell me?”

 _Shit_.

Thea closed her eyes, sighing heavily. “How’d you know?”

“Not because of you.”

“Will,” she urged quietly, “please.”

“I almost ran into them.” He gave in, and Thea watched as the tension seemed to melt off of him. “In the cafeteria. I had to duck behind a wall so they wouldn’t see me.”

“Funny, I did the same thing.”

Will’s lips twitched into a miniscule smile before he looked up at his sister again, eyes wide. “Why are they here, Thea?”

“To try and give me the hospital,” she said nonchalantly.

“What?”

Thea shook her head. “Nevermind. I honestly think they’re just trying to weasel their way into our lives. To gain a semblance of control over us.”

“Sounds like them.”

Thea nodded once, hopping up to sit on the desk in front of Will. “Yeah, it does, doesn’t it?”

The pair was silent for a moment before Thea chose to break it, “You don’t have to see them, Will. You know that—”

“Althea?”

Both Will and Thea turned to see their current topic of discussion standing in front of the desk. Beside her, Thea felt Will tense up at the sight of their parents, and Thea immediately jumped down from the desk, positioning herself in front of Will. She almost shuddered when Maria’s gaze landed on Will.

“Hello, William,” she spoke professionally, and Thea felt Will stand up to his full height.

Will nodded once, stepping out from behind Thea. “Hello, Maria. James.”

Maria’s face screwed up, much like it had early in the day to Thea. “That’s no way to speak to your parents, young man.”

“You guys stopped being my parents a long time ago,” Will said venomously, narrowing his eyes. “Around the time you found out that I had no pleasure in seeing a vagina. In fact, you openly denied me as your son several times.”

Thea would have felt bad for her parents, the shock they held on their faces looked almost enough to give them whiplash. And she would have felt sorry for them, if she didn’t feel so entirely proud of her brother. He was figuratively (and quite literally) holding his middle finger up to his parents.

“So, you know, feel free to leave whenever you’d like.” He shrugged, cocking his head towards the direction of the exit. “Thea and I have no need for you two here.”

“William,” James whispered, and there was a flicker of regret in his eyes. Maria remained stoic and uncaring, much like she’d been Thea’s entire upbringing.

This time, Thea was one the responded. “He’s right. Please, just leave.”

“Listen here, you two—”

James grabbed Maria’s arm, effectively cutting her off before she could say anymore. “I think it’s time we leave, Maria.”

And the two walked away, leaving Thea and Will alone. Suddenly, Thea felt exhausted, as if her parents had sucked all the energy from her by their mere presence. She turned to look at Will, expecting to see a dejected look on his face, however she wasn’t prepared to see him _smiling_.

“Are you feeling all right?” she asked slowly, moving to stand in front of him.

“Did you see the look on her face?” He let out a chuckle, shaking his head as tried and failed to suppress his smile. “She looked like she was going to explode from our defiance.”

When Will started to laugh, Thea had really no other choice but to laugh along with him as if they hadn’t just had the confrontation they’d been fearing for years. And Thea was quite all right with laughing away all her problems. As long as it was her brother she was laughing them off with.

* * *

She almost dropped her bag when she saw him.

And to be fair, Thea’s day was probably ranked up there in the top five worst days of her life, so when she saw him leaning up against the wall as she walked out of the hospital for the night, it was safe to say she was in no mood.

She paused for a moment when she saw him before she simply continued on walking, as if he wasn’t there. Harry fell into step with her easily.

“I’ve had a really shitty day, Mr. Styles,” she told him, ignoring the way Harry flinched at the use of that name, “I really am not in the mood.”

“Why, what happened?”

Thea stopped, and Harry immediately mirrored her. “You know, you really have no right to ask me that. Not anymore.”

“I know.” He ducked his head down. “I’m sorry.”

Thea just nodded.

“I just wanted to see how the progress on Cayden’s prep was going,” he said lamely, still refusing to look up at her.

Thea scoffed, shaking her head. “I’m off the clock.”

“Thea, please.”

“It’s Dr. Grace.”

Harry’s head jolted back as if she had just slapped him. He cleared his throat, looking away as he nodded. “Right, I’m sorry.”

“Look, it’s late,” she said, looking away from him and his dejected expression. “We can discuss this tomorrow. Until then, you’ve got a baby you need to get home to.”

She began walking away.

“Dr. Grace, I—”

Thea suddenly whirled around, angry. “You can’t do this to me, Harry! Okay? You can’t say you want nothing to do with me, and that you just want me to be your son’s doctor then have these secret meetings and act like everything’s okay. That’s not how this is going to work.”

Harry gulped, shame written all over his features.

“From now on, I’m simply Dr. Grace, and you’re Mr. Styles,” she told him, voice shaking, “and we only communicate within the walls of this building. Okay?”

Harry nodded. “Okay.”

With that, Thea turned to leave.

She was wrong. This day was not simply ranked in the top five of her worst days. It was decidedly number one.


	14. when cayden goes into surgery

Today was the day.

Thea had fallen asleep in one of the hospital’s sleeping rooms after staying up all night with Liam. They had been finalizing the details of Cayden’s operation, now that it was looming less than twenty-four hours away, and Thea made Liam go over it more times than she could count. Each time, her stomach twisted with nerves, and she thought that going over the procedure would settle the knot. It never did.

And really, Thea didn’t do much sleeping either, though lack of sleep wasn’t something she hadn’t been familiarized with in her profession. Thea could function without sleep like the best of them. But the dread she felt in the pit of her stomach, it was new.

Today was the day.

It was the day that she saved Cayden Styles’s life. Or it was the day she destroyed it. And his father’s.

There was a soft knock at the door, and all Thea had to was turn her head before it opened, and she sat up in the bed.

Thea rubbed her eyes, blinking at the flood of light that cascaded through the door. Her eyes felt heavy as if she had just woken up, though she’d been up for hours. When her vision finally cleared, she could see Liam standing in the doorway, smiling softly.

“Hey,” he greeted, and Thea could relate with the bags underneath his eyes, “Mr. Styles and Cayden will be here soon. We’re going to prep him on how the surgery is going to go today. Would you like to come?”

Thea felt like saying _yes_ would just be stating the obvious, so she simply stood up, walking out the door with Liam.

It took them exactly four minutes to walk to the pediatrics floor, though Thea wished it took longer. It wasn’t nearly enough time to prepare herself for seeing Harry again.

It had been two days since she saw him outside the hospital. Since then, he hadn’t tried contacting her at all. He was respecting her wishes, though a part of her wished he didn’t. But then the other part of her felt pathetic for feeling so, and she quickly pushed that thought from her mind. This was Harry’s doing, not hers.

Liam and Thea both happened upon a vacant check up room on the peds floor, and they both hesitated outside the room. Liam looked to Thea, raising a single eyebrow. Thea simply nodded.

“Mr. Styles.” Liam nodded to Harry as they walked into the room. Cayden was held in Harry’s arms, and her heart felt heavy when realized that Cayden was holding his own head up.

Thea hadn’t seen Cayden properly for months, and the only time she ever really did see him, he was in his carseat. Now, she could properly see him. He was significantly smaller than any other baby his age. His weight and height resembled more of a four month old rather than a six month old, but he was holding his head up and babbling away. The noises he made were significantly closer to real words, and Thea felt her chest swell with pride.

She watched as Cayden laid his head down on Harry’s shoulder, eyes droopily falling. Thea smiled softly.

Harry’s eyes widened at the sound of his name. There were dark circles under his eyes. It made Thea wonder when the last time he got a full night’s rest. Then she realized she couldn’t remember the last time _she_ got a full night’s rest. They were one in the same, in a way.

Immediately, Harry’s eyes wandered towards Thea, and they settled on her. The nervous rocking his body had taken to stopped then, and he cuddled Cayden closer to his body. Cayden was wide awake, staring up at his father. His small hand moved up and rested against Harry’s jaw. Harry caught it with his own hand and held it gently. Thea’s throat closed up at the sight.

Today was the day.

Harry nodded once, looking to Liam. “Dr. Payne,” he greeted, turning towards Thea. “Dr. Grace.”

Thea smiled tightly, eyes flickering towards the small bundle huddled against Harry’s chest. “Mr. Styles.”

Something flashed in Harry’s eyes, but Thea couldn’t make it out before it was pushed away. His eyes settled on Thea again, staying for much longer than what was appropriate. Thea felt her stomach tighten at the look in them. Almost as if he pleading to her to keep his son safe.

“Mr. Styles,” Liam interrupted, motioning behind Harry, “why don’t you take a seat?”

Harry nodded, gently placing himself in a seat as Thea and Liam sat in the chairs across from him. Cayden squirmed for a moment, and Harry gently hushed him, pressing a kiss to his son’s forehead.

“So, what’s the plan of action?” he asked, diving right into it. Thea turned to Liam.

“It’s quite simple, really,” Liam explained. “We’ve already used Mr. Grace’s cells to generate the flap for Cayden’s heart. As we previously discussed, Dr. Grace’s brother is a perfect match for your son.”

Harry nodded, looking towards Thea before looking away.

“Are there any risks?”

“There’s minimal risks, we assure you,” Liam continued. “We’ve gone over every possible outcome, and majority of them are in our favor.”

Harry’s eyes widened. “Majority? Meaning, not all of them?”

“Mr. Styles—”

“You’re saying there’s a chance my son won’t live? There’s still a chance this won’t save him?” Harry’s voice rose in octaves as he spoke, eyes flickering down to Cayden after every other word.

“This surgery will offer minimal healing time and less internal stress,” Liam said, purposefully skirting around Harry’s questions, “which is crucial for someone of his age.”

“But there’s still a chance he won’t make it?”

Liam sighed heavily, pausing before nodding. “Yes, there’s a chance he won’t make it. But it’s a miniscule chance, Mr. Styles.”

Harry shook his head quickly, looking at Cayden before looking up again. “I can’t do this. Not if there’s a chance he won’t make it. I-I can’t.”

“Mr. Styles—”

“Harry,” Thea interrupted, and Harry’s eyes widened at the sound of her voice, “if we don’t perform this surgery, we _will_ lose Cayden. There will be no ‘if’s’ about it. The surgery we performed a few months prior temporarily delayed the effects of VSD, but it won’t last forever. Without this surgery, he won’t make it much longer.”

Harry nodded, exhaling a shaky breath. His eyes glistened with unshed tears, and Thea’s heart clenched painfully at the sight of it.

“The success rate truly does outweigh the complications, Mr. Styles,” Liam assured. “We just need your okay before we move forward.”

There was a pause. Thea looked down to see Cayden completely asleep on Harry’s shoulder. Her chest felt warm at the sight.

After sometime, Harry nodded slowly. “All right. We can do this.”

“Perfect.” Liam nodded once. “We’ll have Cayden prepped and in the O.R. in an hour.”

Harry nodded, looking down at his baby. “Does this mean he has to go now?”

“Dr. Grace will take him to be prepped. You should probably say your goodbyes now.”

Thea watched as Harry blinked back some tears. Liam nudged her, and they both stood up, turning their backs from Harry and giving them some privacy. There was an awful loud sniffle followed by the sound of Harry standing up.

“All right, buddy,” he whispered, voice thick with emotion, “the doctors are going to take you now, and it’s going to be just fine. Daddy will see you really soon.”

A shaky breath was exhaled, and there was a broken cry that was immediately covered up by a cough.

“I love you so much, baby,” Harry said. His voice broke twice. “I’ll be waiting for you, okay? Daddy’s not going anywhere. I’ll be right here when you get back. God, I love you so much, Cayden Styles.” There was a pause, then a very choked, “You’re coming back to me, do you hear me? You’re coming back to me.”

Thea squeezed her eyes shut, attempting to will away her tears. There was a moment of silence, and multiple sniffles sounded through the room. It wasn’t until another moment later that Harry spoke.

“Okay,” he said quietly, “we’re ready.”

Thea turned around then, walking towards the pair. Cayden was still fast asleep on Harry’s shoulder. Gently, she reached out, taking Cayden from Harry and draping him across her own body. Cayden remained sound asleep.

“I’ll come update you whenever I can, okay?” she spoke gently, smiling reassuringly. Harry nodded. A single tear fell down his cheek, and Thea fought the urge to wipe it away. “He’s coming back to you, Harry. I’ll make sure of it.”

He only nodded again before Thea was ushered out of the room by Liam’s hand. She held Cayden close to her body as she went, pressing a small kiss to the top of his head.

And with one last look at Harry, she was out of the room.

Today was the day.

* * *

Liam was the lead doctor on Cayden’s operation. Thea was scrubbing in as the assistant surgeon, and Dr. Avery was also scrubbing in, though she would only be assisting if something went wrong.

Thea hoped she wouldn’t be assisting.

There was still a little bit of time until Cayden was ready for his anestesia. Thea stood by Cayden’s bedside as the pediatric nurses performed his pre-operation check up in a room near the O.R. She was there to gently stroke her fingers lightly across his cheek when he got fussy or when he didn’t like what they were doing. Liam stood behind Thea, giving her a little bit of room as she calmed Cayden.

Finally, the nurses finished their check up, deeming Cayden ready for surgery. As soon as they were out of the room, Thea picked Cayden up, gently rocking him in a means to calm him down. She turned around to see Liam watching her rather carefully.

“What?” she asked, tilting her head to the side.

“I heard about what happened to you and Harry,” was all he said, eyes flickering down to the baby in her arms.

Thea shook her head. “I don’t feel like talking about it.”

“Niall told me you were pretty torn up about it,” he said matter-of-factly. Thea scowled, huffing.

“Jesus, is there no such thing as personal business anymore?” she sneered, mentally cursing the name of Niall Horan.

Liam shook his head, smiling amusedly. “Not when you work or are related to Niall Horan.”

Thea simply rolled her eyes. “What’s your point, Liam? Why bring this up now?”

“Because,” he said, eyes casting down to Cayden, “because I see the way you look at this baby, and it’s quite similar to the way you look at his father. If something were to happen today, you’ll be—”

“Nothing’s going to happen.” Thea was quick to intervene, huddling Cayden closer to her. “Cayden’s going to be fine.”

“You and I both know that’s not a guarantee,” Liam reminded. “It never is, Thea.”

Thea had to look away. She felt her eyes well up with tears, and she didn’t want Liam to see them, so she had to look away. Cayden squirmed in her arms as if he could sense her distress. Thea began to rock him gently again.

“I don’t want to think about that,” she whispered quietly. “I- I can’t think about it. Not right before the surgery.”

Thea turned to look at Liam, seeing him nod slowly. “I know. I’m just trying to prepare you, Thea. You’ve grown so attached, and I’m worried about you.”

Thea scoffed. “Everybody is nowadays.”

“All I’m saying is—”

A nurse walked in, effectively cutting Liam off. “Dr. Payne, Dr. Grace. We’re ready for the patient now.”

She walked up to Thea, gently taking Cayden from Thea’s arms. Out of reflex, Thea tightened her hold on Cayden, stopping the nurse from taking him. But when the nurse gave her an odd look, Thea realized what she was doing, and she promptly handed Cayden to her.

Thea watched the nurse walk out of the room with her heart heavy in her chest. Cayden was reaching across the nurse for Thea the entire time, and it broke her heart.

She turned to Liam, blinking away tears, and the look of sympathy he gave her was enough to make Thea want to hit him.

“C’mon,” she said swiftly, motioning towards the door, “we need to scrub in.”

* * *

Thea took longer than necessary to scrub in.

She continuously scrubbed the antibacterial soap across her skin over and over again until it was raw and red. The sink where the doctors scrubbed in overlooked a window into the operating room. Thea watched as the anesthesiologist put Cayden to sleep, and his cries quieted to silence. His body looked much too small for operating table. Thea’s heart sunk at the sight of it.

He was too young. He was much too young to have his life floating in the balance like this, and Thea hated it. She hated it so much.

“Thea.”

She turned her head to see Niall, looking at her expectantly.

“It’s time,” was all he said before holding her scrubs up.

Today was the day.

With a deep breath, Thea turned to Niall, nodding once. “I’m ready.”

* * *

“He’ll be fine, Harry.”

Harry pressed the phone closer to his ear. His head was leaning against the wall near the window of the waiting room he was in. The coolness felt like a stark contrast to his overheated forehead. There was a dull ache between his ears, but he thought if he pressed his phone closer to his ear then maybe it would be like his mum was with him.

He really needed his mum.

“I can’t do this, Mum,” he whimpered, squeezing his eyes shut when he felt the onslaught of tears. “I can’t lose him.”

“Oh, bubs,” she whispered, voice laden with sympathy and heartache, “you won’t lose him.”

Harry shook his head, and a tear fell from down cheek. “You don’t know that. He’s my everything right now. He’s my entire world.”

He swallowed roughly, hoping to suffocate the rising sob he felt in his chest. It didn’t work, and the broken cry tumbled passed his lips before he could stop it. His mind flashed to the beautiful baby boy he somehow helped make, and more tears fell from his eyes.

“I love him so much, Mum,” he cried out, hiccuping between each word.

By now, he was glad the waiting he was in was vacant, knowing he would be causing quite a scene, though he wasn’t sure he’d care. His son was now being operated on that determined whether or not he’d live to see his first birthday. Harry was positive he was allowed a few tears.

“Harry.” His mother’s voice was suddenly urgent. Soft but urgent. “You are that little boy’s entire world, and he loves you so much.”

There was a pause, and Harry heard the telltale sounds of his mother sniffling. The sound brought more tears to his eyes.

“He’s going to come back to you,” she promised, and Harry struggled with believing her. _How could she know?_ “I’m sure of it. The world can’t be _that_ cruel as to let that little boy suffer then take him away.”

Harry wanted to say the world had done it before. To so many other people. He’s seen it firsthand with Luke and Luke’s family. They suffered for years only to lose him when he was at his weakest. Harry watched it happen, and he watched how it nearly destroyed Thea. He knew what the world was capable of, and that was what scared him the most.

He wanted to tell his mother all of this. He just wanted to continue to cry on the phone with her. He just wanted her comfort. But right now, he didn’t need comfort. His son needed it, and Harry had to be strong for him.

He just had to be.

With one last deep breath, he pushed himself off of the wall, standing straight and wiping the tears from his face.

He held his head up high as he said, “He’ll come back to me.”

He only hoped he wasn’t lying.

* * *

Everything was going smoothly.

The flap made out of Will’s cells was successfully being used to Cayden’s aid. The nerves in Thea’s stomach were beginning to subside as she looked up at the monitor. His heart was steady, and his vitals were good.

Perhaps she was worried about nothing. Cayden was fine. He was going to live.

She turned to look at Liam. His brows were drawn together as he operated on Cayden, carefully and gingerly moving with each step. His hands were steady, as every surgeons should be, and his focus was unfailing. Thea suddenly felt an overwhelming surge of gratefulness for him.

Dr. Avery stood on the other side of Liam, eyes trained on his work. At this rate, Avery most likely wasn’t needed, but Thea knew that she wouldn’t leave until the operation was over.

Thea looked over at Cayden’s monitor again. Steady.

Then she turned to Liam, “I’m going to update Mr. Styles. Are we almost finished?”

“Yes, I just need to—”

He was cut off by a high pitched beeping noise, and Thea’s head whipped around to look at the monitor.

“His heart rate is dropping,” Liam spoke in a commanding yet panicked tone. Then Thea looked down just in time to see the spot where the incision was made burst in blood, and Dr. Avery stepped in.

“I need suction,” she commanded, taking over for Liam. Thea was quick to move, grabbing the suction and working around the areas where Cayden was bleeding. Her hands were shaking, however, and Dr. Avery looked over at her. “Shaky hands, Grace? Either steady them or get out of my O.R. We don’t have time for this.”

Thea nodded, taking a deep breath. She steadied herself and began to work again. The high pitched beeping still pierced the room, and Thea had to clear her mind. She had to forget the fact that it was Cayden on the operating table bleeding out. She had to forget that it was Cayden whose heart was pumping much to wildly to keep him alive. She had to forget all of that to save him.

“We need a pacemaker,” she told one of the nurses who was standing by. “We won’t be able to save him with his heart pumping so erratically.”

“BP is dropping,” Liam spoke again, and Thea looked towards the monitor to see that he was right.

Thea turned to Avery. “What do we do?”

“We’re losing him,” was all she said, though she spoke the words under her breath. Cayden’s heart rate slowed dramatically, and Thea felt her stomach drop. “Shit.”

“BP is still dropping,” Liam said, “We need an IV to stabilize him.”

Thea’s hand grew shaky again.

The monitor continued to beep loudly.

Cayden’s heart slowed to a nearly nonexistent beat.

“Nurse, get me a defib to stabilize his heartbeat as well.” Dr. Avery turned to Thea. “Dr. Grace continue the suction. We’re losing our patient.”

Thea suddenly felt sick. She couldn’t move, yet somehow she did move, continuing to suction the extra bleeding.

_We’re losing our patient._

She was losing Cayden. Harry was losing Cayden.

Today was the day.

* * *

Thea pulled her gloves from her hands, ripping the surgical mask and hat off as she did so. Her cheeks were sore and damp with residual tears. There was a dull ache she felt in her head, something she only felt when the sorrow became too much for her.

Her heart was pounding painfully in her chest, and she couldn’t force herself to turn around. Her back was facing the glass that opened into the operating room. She couldn’t bring herself to look into it.

She couldn’t.

Suddenly, the door to the O.R. opened, and Liam walked into the scrubbing room. He looked at Thea sadly.

“Do you want me to talk to him?” he asked, smiling softly.

She shook her head. “No, I need to tell him. He’ll be expecting me.”

“Okay.” Liam nodded. “Page me if you need back up.”

“I will.”

And with that, she turned towards the door, leaving. She didn’t once look into the operating room.

She couldn’t.

* * *

Solemnly, Thea made her way out of the operating room. Her heart was pounding with months of pain that lead up to this moment. The pain hurt worse than it ever had, and she felt like she was going to pass out or cry. Possibly both.

Harry was waiting for the upcoming news in the waiting room closest to the operating room Cayden was in, and Thea wished it was farther away. She wished she had more time to construct her words, because she never felt like she knew what to say. As a first year resident, she supposed that was typical, but this time felt different.

Her heart was like a literal weight in her chest, thumping heavily with every step. The thought of Cayden’s little body on the operating table made her heart feel heavier, and she wondered how she was able to continue on with her walk.

Harry came into view as she rounded the corner. The weight grew.

When Harry turned his head to look at her, it felt like the weight was going to burst in her chest.

Then he stood up, and the weight exploded, and Thea felt like she was going to faint.

“Mr. Styles,” was all she said as she made it to him. His eyes were wide, and by the way his hands were fidgeting at his side, she knew he hadn’t overcome his nerves.

The spot the weight once resided felt hollow.

Thea looked passed Harry, eyes scanning the waiting room, and her heart dropped when she didn’t recognize a single face. Harry was alone. He was riddled with nerves, and he was by himself.

The thought made Thea want to cry.

“Thea,” he whispered imploringly, “please. How did it go?”

This was the moment she always dreaded. This right here. It was the worst part of her job. She wanted to save lives, not destroy the lives of her patients’ loved ones. That, in and of itself, was the total opposite of what she wanted to do. And she always dreaded it.

She closed her eyes for a moment, steadying herself with a deep breath before she uttered, “Harry, I’m so sorry.”

It seemed like the weight of the world collapsed in that moment. Just like the weight in her chest.

Suddenly, everything was hollow.

* * *

Harry was pacing the lengths of the waiting room.

He had just gotten off the phone with Gemma after she had apologized time and time again for not being there. Harry assured her that it was fine. He would be alright.

He wondered if that was a lie as he hung up.

It had been two hours since Cayden was admitted into surgery, and since there had been no one to update him. Not a single person. He just sat in the waiting room alone, sometimes pacing, sometimes holding back tears.

He just wanted to see his baby boy again. That was all he wanted. He just wanted someone to tell him that he would be okay.

Harry was sitting in a chair, staring out of the window when he spotted Thea. His knee was bouncing anxiously, but once he saw her, he stood up immediately, eyes wide and pleading. Thea paused for a moment when she saw him, and the look on her face caused Harry’s stomach to drop.

He watched as she made her way to him, eyes scanning behind him before her face fell. Then she was right in front of him, and suddenly, Harry couldn’t take it anymore. He had to know.

“Thea,” he whispered imploringly, “please. How did it go?”

Thea looked at him. She really looked at him, and Harry’s heart broke. It shattered right there in his chest, because even without the words, he knew what had happened.

He lost him.

“Harry, I’m so sorry.”

No. No, no, _no_.

Cayden wasn’t coming back to him.

* * *

Thea stood there as Harry’s face crumbled, and right there, Thea knew what true heartbreak looked like. It was embodied on Harry’s face. Thea knew that, in and of itself, was truly heartbreak. She stood there for a moment, wishing she could take away his pain. Absorb all of it onto herself with one failed swoop. She wished he didn’t have to feel that way, but she knew it was no use.

Harry lost his son. He lost him because of Thea. And that was a pain they both would always live with.

“Harry, we did all we could,” she whispered, stepping forward. Immediately, Harry took a step back, and Thea ignored the stab of pain it caused.

“Don’t say that to me,” he all but hissed. His cheeks were muddled with tears. “If that were true, I’d be holding my baby in my arms.”

“Harry, please—”

She was interrupted by the sound of her pager going off. Thea offered Harry an apologetic look before plucking the device from her waistband. It simply read _OR 3_ , and it took Thea exactly four seconds until she realized that was the operating room Cayden’s surgery was performed.

Thea’s head whipped up to look at Harry. “I have to go. It’s Cayden.”

* * *

There was a sound of a coo.

That was the first thing Thea heard when she walked into the O.R. Thea’s felt her eyebrows draw in the middle, and then her eyes landed on the small bundle on the operating table. Her stomach dropped when she realised he was moving.

Cayden was _moving_.

Her eyes darted over to Liam, who was standing by Cayden, staring at her. Her heart pounded against her chest almost painfully. She didn’t understand.

She didn’t understand—

“How?” She looked at Liam then towards Cayden.

Slowly, she moved forward, watching as Cayden’s eyes fluttered open. His face twisted with emotion, though before he could cry, a nurse moved forward, depositing a small liquid into his IV with a syringe that put him right to sleep.

“We did lose him,” Liam said slowly, walking over to Cayden. “Before Avery sent you to tell Mr. Styles, we were sure we had lost him. We thought that was it. He was gone.”

Thea flinched as the memory flashed in her head, eyes flickering towards Cayden. “What happened?”

“I- I’m not even sure,” he admitted, shrugging. “As soon as Avery stepped away for him, his BP went up, and his heart rate regulated. After that, we were able to finish the procedure.”

Thea simply stared at Cayden. She thought about pinching herself for a split moment. Perhaps this was all a dream. Perhaps she was living a terrible, utterly confusing nightmare, and all she had to do was pinch herself. Maybe she’d wake up and Luke would still be alive.

Though as the thought ran through her head, Thea didn’t move. She couldn’t move, because she knew that wasn’t the case. It wasn’t a dream for even her imagination wasn’t that cruel of a place.

It couldn’t be.

“It’s a miracle, really,” Liam said quietly after a while, voice awed. “This little guy sure is a survivor. We’re not sure how he did it, but he did.”

 _Survivor_.

Cayden was a survivor.

A broken sob tumbled from Thea’s throat as relief crashed through her. “So, he’s going to be okay? He’s going to live?”

“Yes.” Liam nodded, exhaling loudly, “he’s going to be just fine.”


	15. when thea plays house

“What are you doing?”

Thea looked up to see Niall making his way towards her, eyebrows furrowing together. She looked pointedly down to the stacks of charts strewn across desk in front of her before looking back up at him. Niall still looked at her in question, and she sighed.

It was the middle of the night at the hospital, and Thea was technically supposed to be at home. She had made plans with Mason and Will to grab some dinner then have a movie marathon of any movie they set their eyes on. But after Cayden’s surgery, the thought of leaving Cayden made her slightly queasy, so she promptly cancelled.

And so here she sat, at the front desk of the pediatrics floor, wasting her time mindlessly filling in charts.

“I’m doing charts,” she said in a rather obvious tone, squinting her eyes at him. “Um, why?”

“Well, Liam’s just about to deliver the good news to Harry,” he responded, “and I just figured you’d want to do that yourself.”

Thea shrugged, looking down at her work again. “Don’t think Harry’s too keen on seeing me right now.”

“What d’you mean?” Thea looked up to see Niall’s face scrunch in something resembling skepticism. “You saved his son’s life, Thea. I’m sure he’d be more than happy to see you.”

“Not really,” she said, shaking her head. “ _Liam_ saved him. But that’s besides the point. Just because Cayden being alive doesn’t mean Harry suddenly wants me in his life.”

“Thea, that’s—”

She promptly cut him off. “I’m not Cayden’s doctor anymore, Niall. He’s in recovery.”

“He’s still in the hospital, Thea.” Niall gave her a knowing look. “He’s your patient until he’s discharged. And don’t even get me started on the _you didn’t save him bullshit_.” Niall scoffed, shaking his head. “You and I know well enough that Liam and Avery wouldn’t have been able to do any of what they did for Cayden if it wasn’t for you.”

“That’s not really—”

“Have you even spoken with Harry?”

“No, obviously—”

“Then you don’t really know how he’s feeling,” Niall said softly, leaning forward. “Do you?”

Thea’s head fell forward, and her eyes stared unseeingly at the charts in front of her. She sighed before she gradually shook her head, conceding to Niall’s words. She didn’t know how Harry was feeling, though she felt like she did. A part of her almost wanted him to hate her. It’d make everything else so much easier.

“Talk to him, Thea,” Niall whispered after some time of silence. “You’re still here because you obviously can’t leave them, and I happen to know your shift is well over by now.”

Slowly, Thea looked up at Niall. Her eyes were wide, and she knew vulnerability was written all over her face, but she couldn’t bring herself to care.

“What if he doesn’t want to see me?”

Niall shrugged. “Then he’s an idiot.”

* * *

Thea stood right outside the room Harry was in. She leaned her body against the wall adjacent to the door, leaning closer in an effort to hear what was being said. Liam was inside the room with Harry. He had tried fruitlessly to get Thea to come with, just as Niall had (in fact, she was fairly certain they had tag-teamed her, but she didn’t feel the need to address it). But Liam soon realized Thea wasn’t going walk into that room, so he promptly conceded, allowing her to stand outside the door instead of going in.

Thea leaned in closer, hearing Liam’s murmur before Harry’s sudden gasp of relief. She felt pieces of her heart mend itself at the sound.

“H-He’s okay?” Harry choked out, voice thick with tears. “My son’s alive?”

She didn’t hear Liam say anything, but by the cry Harry let out, she assumed Liam confirmed with a nod. She pictured his form shaking with relief at the overwhelming thought of his son, alive and breathing. Her eyes pricked with tears at the thought.

Cayden was alive.

“Where is he?” Harry asked quickly. “I need to see him.”

“He’s in recovery right now. I have a few patients I need to tend to before I take you to him.”

Thea wasn’t so sure what compelled her to do it. She knew moving forward would give her eavesdropping away, even if fifty percent of the people inside the room knew of her listening. But she didn’t really put much thought into it, and before she could even stop it, she felt her feet moving forward, crossing into the threshold.

The only thing running through her mind was Cayden.

“I can take you to him.”

Two sets of wide eyes were suddenly on her, and Thea felt slightly sheepish. Instantly, and without much of her control, her eyes honed in on Harry, and her heart fell. There were dark circles underneath his puffy eyes. Redness enveloped the outer portion of his eyes, making it evident that he had spent most of the night in the midst of sorrow. But there was relief written all over his features. His body almost sagged with it, and Thea hadn’t ever seen anything that gave _her_ such esteemed bouts of relief.

“Th-Thea,” Harry whispered, and Thea felt something inside of her collapse.

It was if all those walls she built around her heart fell in that one moment. Though to be fair, she never considered them to be very sturdy, especially when she was in presence of Harry and Cayden. But after Harry told her he didn’t want her in his personal life, she had tried her hardest to reconstruct the walls Harry and Cayden had somehow managed to demolish once before. And with that single whisper of her name, the wide, relief-filled eyes, she felt the walls crumble once more, and Thea wasn’t so sure she’d be able to build them up anymore.

Thea smiled softly, extending her hand. “Do you want to go see Cayden?”

She looked towards Liam then, and he offered her a questioning look, concern clouding his eyes. To which, she simply nodded, soundlessly telling him that she was just fine. Her eyes flitted back to Harry, catching him mid-nod as he made his way towards her. She tried to ignore the swell of warmth she felt as he took her hand in his. Harry smiled softly at her, tears still slightly shining in his eyes. Thea smiled back, squeezing his hand before letting go. She pretended she didn’t feel colder without the touch.

She looked towards Liam once more before turning around, motioning for Harry to follow her before she walked out of the room. Harry fell into step a few paces behind her, and Thea tried to focus on her footsteps. She tried to pretend like the sound of his weren’t echoing in her head.

“He’s still on the pediatrics floor right now,” she told him. “He’ll just be in a recovery room near the O.R. until he’s discharged.”

Harry only nodded, continuing to follow Thea. They happened into the recovery section, and Thea steadily realized how close Harry had become. Instead of walking a few paces behind her, he was now walking right by her side. She could feel his eyes on her, but she remained staring straight ahead.

“Hey, Thea,” he said quietly, “I just wanted—”

“We’re here.” Thea was quick to interrupt, nodding towards Cayden’s door.

Harry’s words looked to be caught in his throat as he stared at the door in front of him. His lips parted softly before he reached for the handle. He pushed the door open.

Cayden laid fast asleep in the small hospital-provided crib. It resembled the ones newborns laid in after they were born, sturdy plastic encasing his small body. The steady sound of his heart resonated through the room on the monitor, and the sound calmed Thea somehow.

Harry’s eyes were glued on his son, and Thea allowed them both a little privacy. She stood in front of the closed door, not daring to wander any further into the room. Harry let out a shaky breath; Thea knew that if he was facing her, she would see tears welling in his eyes.

“My baby,” he whispered in awe, almost to himself, “you’re okay.”

Harry made it to Cayden’s bedside, pressing the palm of his hand to his chest. It was as if he needed to feel the thud of Cayden’s heart himself, and as soon as he did, his body sagged, eyes fluttering shut. One lone tear fell the contour of his cheek, and Thea felt her chest constrict.

“You’re okay,” he whispered again, and this time, it sounded much more certain.

Harry’s fingers danced across Cayden’s cheek, smiling softly.

Suddenly, Thea felt as if she was intruding. The moment looked entirely too tender and fragile, and she felt as if she had no business witnessing it. So, with one last look, she slowly slipped out of the room, listening to Harry’s soft coos until it was inappropriate to be pressing her ear to the door.

* * *

Harry didn’t leave the hospital for three days.

Gemma and their mum took turns bringing him a change of clothes everyday, forcing him to shower in the hospital-provided ones while they stayed with Cayden. The showers only lasted five minutes max before Harry came running back into Cayden’s room. Usually, he was deep out of breath, hair not even properly dried, but his face always lit up when he saw his son.

Of course Thea wasn’t there to witness all of this. She was keeping her distance, and Gemma was relaying the information to her. Though each time she did, she was quite keen on telling Thea how much Harry missed her. Thea never believed her.

With all of that, Thea still made sure to stay informed about Harry and Cayden’s wellbeing. Harry may not want her in his life, but that didn’t mean she didn’t want them in hers. But she was still going to respect Harry’s wishes. She would _always_ respect Harry’s wishes.

Thea was supposed to be filling out charts once again, but with Harry and Cayden in her thoughts, her mind just wasn’t there. She was rather busy staring into space when Dr. Avery suddenly grabbed her arm, pulling her away. The noise that left her lips was something akin to a cross between a squawk and a squeal. Thea quickly covered her mouth with her free hand. Her head whipped around to Avery, brows furrowing together.

“What are you doing?” The words left her mouth in a squeaky tone, hand moving from her mouth to Avery’s arm, attempting to release her hold. Thea grunted when it didn’t work. “I kind of need that arm, Dr. Avery.”

Avery ignored her sarcasm. “You’re coming with me, Grace. Don’t fight it.”

So, Thea did. Her hand fell to her side, and she allowed Dr. Avery to pull her away. It wasn’t until they turned a corner that Thea realized they were walking towards Cayden’s recovery room, and her hand flew back on top of Avery’s.

“I can’t go in there,” she argued, trying and failing to pry Avery’s hand from her arm. “You really don’t understand, Dr. Avery, I can’t—”

“I understand completely, Dr. Grace, Niall told me everything.”

Thea muttered a curse under her breath specifically directed to Niall, wherever he may have been.

“He doesn’t want to see me,” Thea said, not bothering to elaborate because she knew Avery would understand.

“You’re still that child’s doctor, Grace, so I suggest you put your personal life aside and start being his doctor.”

Dr. Avery’s voice was harsh, and Thea felt shame flush inside of her. The grip on her arm tightened when they finally rounded Cayden’s room. Avery opened with the door, stepping in without knocking. Thea ducked her head down.

Two heads whipped around at the sound of their entrance. Thea kept her head ducked.

“Thea?”

Slowly, she looked up to see Harry’s eyes wide at the sight of her. A small smile was curving his lips. Gemma sat next to him, smiling widely. They both sat next to the crib Cayden was in. He was wide awake, babbling incoherently. Thea wished she could see him.

Avery let go of Thea’s arm. “Mr. Styles. Ms. Styles,” she spoke professionally, nodding at both Gemma and Harry.

“Dr. Avery,” they both echoed, returning the nod. Thea thought they were much too similar.

“How’s Cayden?” Her eyes flitted towards Cayden, and he cooed as if he knew he was the topic of their discussion.

Harry turned to his son, smiling. His finger dipped in the crib, bopping Cayden’s nose gently. “He’s amazing. Thank you.”

Dr. Avery nodded once again.

Harry’s eyes drifted towards Thea, and they softened tremendously. Something inside of Thea melted.

“And thank you, Dr. Grace,” he said. Thea wondered if he was simply talking about the surgery. “For everything. Thank you.”

Words suddenly escaped her, and all she could do was avert her eyes, nodding quickly. She felt eyes on her, and she wasn’t sure if they were Gemma’s or Harry’s.

“Well, considering Cayden’s progress, I believe it is time for him to be discharged.”

At Avery’s words, Thea looked up just in time to see Harry’s face brighten exponentially. His eyes flitted towards Thea before settling on Avery again.

“As in, he came home with me?” He voice grew higher towards the end of his sentence.

Avery nodded, and Harry seemed to sag with relief.

“But we’re not out of the woods quite yet,” she said quickly, and all the tension seemed to settle on Harry’s shoulders again. “Cayden still needs round-the-clock medical attention, so I’m assigning Dr. Grace to be your in-home doctor.”

Thea’s head whipped to look at Avery, eyes wide. She could feel eyes on her, and this time she knew they were Harry’s. Briefly, she offered him a small glance before turning to look at Avery once again. His face held the same amount of shock she was sure hers did.

She leaned in closer to Avery. “I don’t recall discussing this,” she whispered.

“That’s because _we_ didn’t,” Avery responded in the same tone.

Thea looked to Gemma, watching with contempt as she tried and failed to suppress her amused expression.

Dr. Avery turned to Harry. “Of course we need your permission—”

“Yes,” Harry said quickly. Thea’s head turned sharply, and Harry cleared his throat, cheeks tinting pink. “ _I mean_ , sure. That, uh, that works.”

“Perfect.” Avery nodded decidedly. “Get packing, Mr. Styles. You’re taking your baby home in the morning.”

* * *

Thea was sent home after that to pack and properly sleep before tomorrow. She was informed by Avery that she’d be staying with the Styles boys for two weeks—longer, if necessary. She then later found out that this was all conspired by Liam, Niall, and Avery, and Thea thought she was going to be red in the cheeks for weeks when she thought of Avery discussing _her and Harry._ When she saw Liam and Niall again, she’d—

“What are you doing?”

Thea turned around to see Will standing in her bedroom doorway. She sat on the floor, clothes strewn in front of her with a suitcase. Will laid down beside Thea, using his hand to support his head as he looked up at Thea.

“Planning your big escape?” His eyes traveled across the floor with clothes thrown about and the suitcase. “Can’t take anymore of your baby bro, huh?”

Thea snorted. “Wish that was the case,” she admitted, throwing a pair of jeans into her suitcase. “But unfortunately, I’ve been assigned as Cayden’s in-home doctor.”

“Really?” Will’s eyebrows shot up on his forehead. “Playing house with Harry, are you?”

“Don’t call it that.” She scrunched up her nose, hating the idea of her simply _playing house_ with Harry.

“My bad. What about a sexy sleepover?”

“You’re an idiot,” she deadpanned, shaking her head. She threw three more t-shirts into her suitcase before zipping it up. “Besides,” she spoke, focusing on the zipper of her bag rather than her brother, “it’s not like that with Harry and me. It’s never really been.”

Thea looked up at Will. His head was ducked down, looking at her through his eyelashes. There was disbelief written all over his face, almost as if he was trying to tell her that she shouldn’t even believe her words. But if anyone believed them, it was Thea.

“It’s mad.” Will shook his head slowly.

“What is?”

“How everyone else can see how crazy he is about you, but you somehow can’t.”

* * *

Cayden was discharged from the hospital first thing in the morning, and Thea was expected at Harry’s any minute. She was currently standing outside of Harry’s flat, working up the courage to knock on the door.

She knew she was overthinking this. The worst thing that could happen was Harry wouldn’t open the door, wouldn’t let her in. In that case, she’d go home, tell Avery that Harry had changed his mind, and that was that.

Of course, she would be a little hurt. It’d be another reminder Harry didn’t want her. At least, he didn’t want her the way she wanted him.

But even worse, Harry would open the door, would let her in. And she would have to walk in, pretending that her heart didn’t break every time she looked at him. She’d have to pretend that her entire body didn’t yearn to be with him, in any way she wasn’t right now. She would have to pretend, and Thea knew that would be so much worse.

And so when she went to knock, her hand just sort of froze awkwardly in midair. She knew he would answer. He would answer the door, and he would let her in, and she would have to pretend. She would have to—

“Thea?”

Thea turned hastily towards Gemma, who smiled widely at the sight of her. She had an armful of grocery bags.

Gemma cocked her head towards the door. “Are they not home? He said they’d be home by now.”

“Oh.” Thea glared at the door like it was evil, “I, uh, I actually haven’t knocked yet.”

“Well, all right then.” She looked at Thea oddly. “Do you want to come inside?”

Thea only nodded silently, watching as Gemma shifted the bags to one arm in order to pull her keys out of her pocket. She unlocked the door, kicking it open and tilting her head in a motion for Thea to follow her.

“Honey, I’m home!” she called out jokingly, “and I come bearing food and company.”

They walked into the living room where Harry laid on the couch with Cayden sitting propped up against his bent knees. Harry held onto Cayden’s hands cooing to him in soft tones and smiling when Cayden babbled back to him. He looked up when he heard Gemma and Thea walk in, and his expression morphed into something Thea couldn’t quite decipher when his eyes met hers, but it made her stomach suddenly feel rather heavy.

“Hey.” He smiled, sitting up and bringing Cayden to his chest.

And suddenly, it was as if Gemma was no longer in the room. It was like the world had tunnel vision, and Harry and Cayden were the only two she could see. Thea couldn’t take her eyes off of them, and she wasn’t so sure she wanted to.

Harry lips quirked up in a small smile, and that was what led her to murmur a soft, “Hi.”

Maybe being let in wasn’t as bad as she thought it would be.

* * *

“And you can stay here in this room.”

Thea followed Harry as he opened the door to what she assumed was his bedroom. Gemma had left a few minutes ago, and Harry had insisted on showing Thea where she was going to stay.

It _was_ his bedroom.

Thea knew for a fact that his flat didn’t have a guest bedroom. It had two rooms: Cayden’s and Harry’s, and she very well couldn’t stay in Cayden’s nursery. Besides, as she walked into the bedroom, it was obvious it was not a guest bedroom. Guest bedrooms usually looked pristine to a fault. As if no one had ever stepped foot into it. Thea always thought guest bedrooms were an awful waste of furniture. But walking onto Harry’s room, it looked lived in. Clean but lived in.

The bed was crisply made, but the pillows were thrown a little haphazard onto the surface. There were a few random books sitting on his dresser and nightstand. Half used candles sat next to the books. A few of his dresser drawers were partially opened. One of them had a tail to what looked to be a t-shirt sticking out. They were all so small details, but to Thea, they were somehow comforting. It was almost like she was getting the slightest, little fraction of a look into Harry’s life. She quite liked the thought of that.

She could feel Harry’s eyes on her. There was almost an anxious feel to them, and Thea realized she had been staring at Harry’s room for longer than what was probably appropriate.

She turned to him. “I can’t take your room away from you, Harry. That hardly seems fair.”

“Nah, it’s fine.” He shrugged. “I’ll sleep on the couch. S’fine.”

Thea opened her mouth to argue, but Harry was quick to cut her off.

“Seriously, don’t worry about it,” he told her, an easy smile falling on his lips, “puts me closer to Cayden anyway, so it actually works out well.”

Thea turned to look at the room again before slowly nodding. Harry beamed under her agreement before nodding once.

“Right.” He clapped his hands once, bobbing his head. Thea couldn’t help but think he looked like an awkward teenage boy who was inside a girl’s room for the very first time, and not a grown man standing inside his own bedroom. The thought made Thea’s stomach fuzzy. “Well, I, uh- I guess I’ll leave you to get settled. The bathroom is just through that door. There should be clean towels in the linen closet. Feel free to use any of the shower products. I even cleared out a few dresser drawers for you to use, and um, yeah. Yeah.”

He bobbed his head a few more times, walking backwards towards the door. Thea watched his with a small smile on her face. Harry’s own expression was pinched in what looked to be anxiousness.

He gripped the door handle as he walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. He poked his head through the little sliver that was left before it closed all the way.

“See you later?”

Thea nodded, and Harry suddenly looked relieved.

“See you later, Harry.”

* * *

Turned out, later was a lot sooner than Thea had anticipated. She was sitting on the floor, putting away her clothes in the drawers Harry had cleared out for her (ignoring the butterflies she felt in her stomach every time she thought of Harry actively preparing for her visit) when a knock sounded at the door. It hadn’t been but forty minutes since Harry left her to settle in, but she couldn’t help but admit she felt a little comforted when the knock was followed by Harry poking his head into the room.

“Hey,” he said softly, stepping into the room when he deemed it okay for his presence. “Sorry to to bother you, but I have a question for you.”

Thea nodded, standing up and brushing her hand off on her jeans. “Shoot.”

“It’s about Cayden. He’s been sleeping practically all day, and I’m just getting a little worried.”

Thea sat down on the bed, patting the space beside her for Harry. He sat down quickly, eyes never leaving her.

“That’s pretty normal,” she assured him, smiling in a way that she hoped was construed as soft. “He’s going to need a lot of sleep. Don’t be alarmed if he sleeps for majority of the day and night. His body has been through a lot, and it’ll take awhile for him to be back to his normal self. Especially at his age.”

“What about food?”

“He should wake up on his own if he becomes hungry, but it’s important not to alter his eating schedule. That could really mess with his metabolism, which isn’t good at his age.”

Harry nodded slowly.

“If he doesn’t wake up for food,” Thea continued on, “be sure to wake him up during his normal eating times. He should be eating baby foods and some solids by now, but he should still have a bottle about six to eight times day.”

“What if he doesn’t want the bottle?”

“At this age, he might get a little distracted at the bottle, but it’s rather rare for babies to wean themselves off of bottles or breastfeeding before their first year. Just have a little patience, and he should be just fine.”

Harry nodded again. “Okay, and Dr. Avery gave me some of his prescriptions, but she also said you had one?”

“I do.” Thea reached into her suitcase, pulling a small zippered pouch. She unzipped it, revealing a small syringe and a few vials filled with liquids. “He’ll need this shot every morning when he wakes up for two weeks.”

Harry looked a little uneasy. “Why?”

“Babies are a lot more susceptible to ailments after big procedures like that,” she explained, zipping the pouch. “This will help prevent it. It’s almost like a steroid but not quite as harsh. It’ll strengthen his immune system.”

Harry nodded, though he still looked slightly skeptical.

Thea smiled reassuringly. “We can’t afford for him to be affected by any virus or bacteria, Harry. That’ll slow down his recovery rate.”

She waited for Harry to say something. When he didn’t, she continued.

“Besides, it’s only one small shot in his bum every morning. I can do it if you’d like me to.”

Harry hesitated before nodding once and then continuing the motion slowly.

“Good,” she said, moving to stand up.

Harry was quick to catch Thea’s hand. “Hey, wait, I—”

Their eyes met, and Harry went quiet. He quickly dropped Thea’s hand, casting his eyes down to his lap. Thea waited patiently as she sat back down onto the bed.

“I— I, uh, I just wanted to say I’m sorry.” He slowly looked up. When Thea furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, he continued. “For what I said when we.” He paused, swallowing several times, “when we thought Cayden wouldn’t make it, I’m sorry for what I said. I- I know you did all you could.”

Thea nodded. “I get it. You were upset, and I’m not going to hold that against you.” She smiled lightly, hoping Harry caught onto her sincerity. The way his shoulders seemed to drop in relief, she was sure he did. “Your world would fall apart without your son, I get it.”

Harry only bobbed his head, averting his eyes. His teeth bit into his bottom lip, and he looked as if he wanted to say something but just… couldn’t.

Thea decided to continue. “The important thing is that we didn’t lose Cayden. Right?”

Harry’s head whipped over in Thea’s direction. There was something sparkling in his eyes that Thea couldn’t quite place a name to, but she decided she liked the look of it. His lips curved into a wide smile before he nodded.

“Right.”

* * *

Forty-five minutes later, Thea found in herself in a wonderfully domestic situation.

Sometime after Harry and Thea’s conversation, Cayden woke with a cry. Harry was quick to go get him, bringing him into the living room where Thea was now waiting for the two. He pressed two kisses to Cayden’s temple before handing him off to Thea, and as soon as she had the weight of Cayden in her arms, her world was suddenly brought into focus.

Now, they all stood in the kitchen. Harry was busy making dinner while Thea fed Cayden his evening bottle. Cayden was now old enough to hold his own bottle, and Thea’s heart clenched when she made the realization. It seemed like just yesterday he was as long as the tip of her fingers to the end of her wrist.

Cayden’s eyes were wide as he stared up at Thea. He tried to babble to her a few times, though he quickly realized it didn’t sound so right with the bottle in his mouth, and he remained quiet. He spoke his adoration for her in gentle kicks and squeals whenever she made a funny face at him.

When his bottle was done, she gently pried it from his mouth. As soon as it was gone, Cayden burst into fits of babbles, and Thea responded as if she understood every noise.

“Oh, really?” She smiled, bopping him gently on the nose. Cayden squealed in between babbles. “Tell me _all_ about it, bubs.”

And he did.

As she interacted with Cayden, Thea couldn’t help but feel eyes on the both of them. When she looked up, she met a rather intense gaze. Harry’s eyes were staring intently (read: fondly) at the both of them, a look in them that made Thea’s cheeks flare with heat. Harry didn’t look away, so Thea drew her attention back to Cayden.

She could feel Harry’s eyes on her the rest of the time.

* * *

It was about two in the morning when Thea was awoken by shuffling in the room.

She had fallen asleep embarrassingly fast in Harry’s bed, with the smell of him surrounding her, seeming to be embedded in the sheets, and it had only felt like she’d been asleep for a minute rather than four hours when she woke with a start.

When her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she made out Harry’s form, searching through his night stand.

“Hey,” she whispered, voice cracking with residual sleep.

Harry jumped, head whirling around to look at Thea. “Shit, I’m sorry. Did I wake you?”

“It’s fine.” She shrugged her shoulders. “What are you doing?”

“I couldn’t sleep, so I was looking for this book I’ve been reading.” He looked down at the night stand again. “It should be here, but I can’t seem to—”

“Sleep here.”

Harry froze, looking at Thea with wide eyes. If Thea was fully awake, she knew she would be embarrassed, blurting those words out like she did. But quite frankly, it was the middle of the night, and she was exhausted, and she figured if sleeping in Harry’s bed with the simple scent of him was _this_ good, then sleeping in the bed _with_ _him_ had to have been extraordinary.

Harry continued to stare at her, so Thea scooted fully over to one side, patting the opposite side. That seemed to knock Harry into the present as he stumbled to his feet, getting underneath the duvet. His eyes never left Thea’s as he sunk into the bed.

“You sure?” he whispered once he was laying on the pillow, facing Thea.

Thea’s eyes were already closed, but she was also facing Harry, and she could feel his breath on her face. She could feel his eyes on her.

“I’m sure,” she whispered back.

And that was that.

Thea felt the cusp of sleep closing in on her. Harry’s presence, just as she suspected, only helped the lull of sleep drag her in.

“For the record,” Harry whispered, “you’ll never be _just_ Cayden’s doctor. To either of us.”

And then, Thea was asleep.


	16. when thea spends two weeks with the styles boys

_Niall was a nurse, and he quickly came to realize the worst thing about being a nurse (a pediatric nurse, no less) was administering shots.  
_

_Kids always looked at him as if he had horns sprouting from his head and a pointy tail when he walked in with those small syringes. All in all, Niall was pretty good with children. He was a nurse for them, after all. So when they gave him that look, it always made his stomach drop a little._

_He didn’t want to frighten them, and he always let them pick what characters they wanted on their plasters. Sometimes, he’d even tried to do funny voices, mimicking the characters on the plasters, but it almost always went to no avail._

_He pretty much always left the kids in tears._

_And it was just one of those times. Niall had just got done giving a rather mean shot to a boy around seven years old. He could still hear the little guy’s sad cries as he wheeled the cart out of the room. He’d barely pushed it when a hand grabbed hold of his arm, and he was pulled away, leaving his cart abandoned._

_Niall’s eyes followed the arm to find that it belonged to Dr. Avery, her grip quite firm as she continued tugging him along. On average, Niall didn’t get tugged away from hs boss too often (or at all), but he was smart enough to know that nothing good could probably come of it, so he remained quiet, allowing Dr. Avery to tug him into her office. It wasn’t until the door was properly shut that he noticed Liam already sitting in a chair across from her desk._

_“Are we getting fired?” Niall asked, eyeing Liam, “because I’ve really never heard of a joint-firing, but if this is what’s going on, whatever happened was his fault.”_

_Liam’s head whipped around. “Hey!”_

_“Sit down, Mr. Horan, please.”_

_Niall did, taking a seat next to Liam._

_“We’re not getting fired.” Liam glared at Niall. “We’re here to talk about Thea.”_

_“What, Thea? Is she okay?”_

_Dr. Avery bobbed her head from side to side. “Physically, I’d say she’s just fine. Emotionally, not quite.”_

_Niall looked at Liam before settling back on Avery. “What do you mean emotionally?”_

_“She’s talking about Mr. Styles and Cayden Styles,” Liam answered, eyes remaining on Dr. Avery as she nodded._

_“She’s grown quite attached,” she continued for him, “and while we’re nearly in the clear in Cayden’s recovery process, Dr. Grace does not seem to be any better.”_

_“They had a bit of a falling out a few months before Cayden’s surgery,” Niall informed, shrugging his shoulders. “I didn’t get the details, but her brother told me Harry was the one the initiated the falling out, but I don’t know how. They haven’t really spoken much since.”_

_Niall was fairly certain he heard Dr. Avery whispered, “I told her so,” but it was faint, and he could probably be hearing things, so he didn’t address it._

_“We should just let it boil over, right? I’m sure she’ll get over it eventually.”_

_“It’s been over three months, and she has yet to get over it,” Liam reminded, shaking his head. “I don’t think there’ll be that quick of a fix.”_

_“I agree with Dr. Payne.” Avery nodded her head. “Unfortunately, Dr. Grace is too far involved with the Styles boys to go back now.”_

_Niall drew his eyebrows together. “And what do you suggest_ we _do about it? It’s not really our place.”_

_“It’s come to the point where it is affecting Dr. Grace’s work, and as her boss, that makes it my place.” Avery looked to Liam, as if to back her up, but Liam remained quiet._

_“What do you mean, ‘affecting Dr. Grace’s work?’ How’s it affecting her work?” Niall questioned, frowning._

_“Dr. Payne informed me that she wasn’t there to deliver the news to Mr. Styles about Cayden’s successful surgery,” Dr. Avery said. “As Cayden’s doctor, that was her duty.”_

_“To be fair,” Liam spoke up, “she did end up escorting Mr. Styles to see Cayden.”_

_Avery shook her head. “That is besides the point. Something needs to be done.”_

_“What do you suggest, exactly?” Niall asked, skeptically._

_“Dr. Grace is going to become the Styles in-home doctor for two weeks.”_

_Niall wasn’t quite sure how to tell her how bad of an idea that was, so he simply said nothing._

_But he was fairly certain it was, in fact, a very bad idea._

* * *

Thea was a doctor, and she quickly came to realize the worst thing about being a doctor (a pediatrics doctor, no less) was administering shots.

Cayden let out an agonizing wail as Thea rolled up the leg to his pajama bottoms. He whimpered, eyeing the small syringe in her hand, already knowing what was going to be happen.

He has been getting this every morning for the past five mornings, and each day, his reaction was just as heartbreaking as the last.

“You’re okay, buddy,” Harry whispered as Cayden sat in his lap. Thea kneeled in front of the pair, stroking Cayden’s small hand.

“You’re so brave, baby boy,” she murmured gently, trying to divert his attention to her as she pushed the needle into his leg.

It didn’t work, and Cayden wailed once again.

“I know, I know,” she said gently, pulling the needle out, “I’m very mean, I’m sorry. It’s over. All done.”

She placed a small cotton ball on his wound before putting a pink plaster there.

“You’re so brave, Cayden.” Harry pulled him into his chest, and Cayden cuddled there, chest heaving with his distressed cries. They usually lasted a minute, but never longer than that. “I know, it’s okay, little one. Daddy’s got you.”

Thea patted his back gently, placing the syringe in its case before joining Harry and Cayden on the couch.

“You’d think he’d be use to it by now,” Harry said as he stroked the back of Cayden’s head. “It’s been five days.”

Thea shook her head. “Kids never get used to shots. Hell, adults don’t really either.”

Harry just nodded, kissing Cayden on the forehead three times. Cayden’s cries had now quieted down to small whimpers. “I’m going to get his bottle ready. Will you take him?”

Thea didn’t answer. She simply reached her hands out for him, taking Cayden into her arms gently. Immediately, Cayden’s head fell into the crook of her neck, and she leaned the side of her head against his. Slowly, she rocked him, rubbing his back as she kissed his temple. The whimpers were now nothing but soft babbles, babbles that were muffled by the two fingers he had in his mouth.

“You okay now, mister?” she whispered, her mouth pressed against the side of his head. “You’re so brave, did you know that?”

Cayden cooed softly in response, and Thea felt something in her chest explode. She felt warm all over, and her heart was beating heavy in her chest. Then she looked up and saw Harry looking at her. He had Cayden’s bottle in his hand, and he was leaning against the entryway of that separated the living room to the kitchen. Cayden was still pressed against her chest, hiding in her neck, and Harry’s eyes darted between her eyes and Cayden. His eyes were wide with something Thea couldn’t quite place, but the look of it caused butterflies to flit around in her stomach. His cheeks were flushed a pale pink, and somehow, the color made the green in his eyes so much more prominent.

“Hey,” she whispered softly, vaguely registering Cayden’s steady breaths against her neck. “I think he’s asleep right now.”

Harry’s eyes moved towards Cayden, and he nodded. “Do you think we should wake him up?”

“Just let him sleep for a little bit,” she said softly. “We still have a little while until he normally has his morning bottle, so we can just give him a bit.”

“Okay,” Harry whispered.

“Okay.”

* * *

_Two days later_

Thea found herself in an oddly domestic situation. Though to be fair, she had quickly found out living with Harry (as the in-home doctor, of course) was oddly domestic, and she loved every single second of it.

Right now, Harry was was at the market, stocking up on baby food for Cayden and a few meals for them. Which meant, Thea was home with Cayden by herself.

At first, when Harry told her he was leaving, her stomach clenched in knots. But then she picked up Cayden, and he cuddled himself against her chest, and suddenly, her entire body was at ease.

Now, they both laid in Harry’s bed, where Thea was staying. She was laying across the made bed, a single blanket draped across her lap as Cayden slept soundly on her chest. Her hand rubbed relaxing circles into his back, and she pressed a kiss to his forehead before leaning her head against the wall.

Closing her eyes, she felt at ease. For the first time in a long time, she felt like her mind was completely succumbed to relaxation. It was probably the first time since she lost Luke that she didn’t have a thousand things swirling around in her head, a thousands things she had to do, a thousands things that were going wrong.

But right here, with Cayden safe and sleeping on her chest, there was not a single thing on her mind. Nothing but Cayden. He was safe, and she was relaxed. Everything seemed okay.

It was this moment Thea truly felt sorry for Camille. Sure, she always wondered how Camille could leave her son behind. She was scared, and Thea supposed she could understand that. Thea was scared nearly everyday of her life, and she could understand Camille’s fear. But right now, in this moment, she felt sorry for Camille. Because it could have been Camille, with Cayden sleeping peacefully on her chest, mind completely at ease with a heart bursting in warmth.

But she wasn’t. Thea was.

And a part of Thea was grateful that Camille left. Because perhaps if she hadn’t, Thea wouldn’t have had the opportunity to be laying in this very bed with her favorite baby in the entire world. And Thea wasn’t quite sure where she would be if she didn’t have this small bundle in her life (and his father, but she still struggled trying to admit that).

Suddenly, Cayden wiggled in his sleep, whimpering a bit, so Thea pulled him closer to her chest, murmuring and kissing his forehead. He calmed instantly. She smiled softly.

“Hey,” a voice whispered, and Thea looked up to see Harry standing in the bedroom doorway. He still had his light jacket on, but his arms were vacant of any groceries. His face was painted with that expression that made Thea’s stomach feel funny.

“Hey,” she whispered back, careful to keep her voice quiet in benefit to Cayden. She cocked her head towards the bed. “Come join us.”

Harry looked hesitant for a moment before his eyes flickered down to his son, and his feet seemed to move on their own accord. He took of his jacket, dropping it on the floor as he kicked of his shoes, before climbing into the bed. Thea offered him a bit of the blanket, and he draped across his lap, sliding in close to Thea.

“How long has he been asleep?” he asked softly.

Thea looked down at Cayden. “Not too long. He fell asleep a few minutes before you came home.”

“Okay.” Harry nodded, smiling softly as he leaned in to press a kiss to Cayden’s forehead. “Thank you for watching him.”

“Of course. He’s always so good.”

Harry leaned his head against Thea’s, both of them watching Cayden sleep. Thea revelled in the touch, sighing softly.

“You’re so good with him,” Harry whispered, and something inside of Thea burst just then.

“No.” She shook her head, “he’s good with me.”

Harry hummed, and Thea’s heart nearly when his arm came and wrapped itself around Thea’s arm that securely held Cayden in place. She could feel Harry’s eyes on her, as if hesitantly making sure this was okay. Thea didn’t look up. She simply snuggled further into the bed and felt Harry’s sigh brush across her skin.

She felt at ease.

* * *

**Two days later**

Will met Cayden a couple days later, and Thea knew he had fallen in love with the small bundle as soon as he took him in his arms.

It was actually Harry’s idea. They were watching _Sesame Street_ as Cayden bobbed around in his jumper seat when Harry simply turned towards Thea. Her eyes were set on Cayden, smiling every time he babbled something towards the television. 

“We should have your brother over,” he said, and it took Thea a minute to fully digest it.

She looked over at him, furrowing her eyebrows. “What?”

“Will,” Harry said as if Thea forgot who her brother was. “We should have him over. He hasn’t met Cayden yet, and it would be fun, I think.”

Thea pretended like the word _we_ didn’t make her heart stutter.

She just nodded, “Okay, I’ll call him.”

“Okay.”

The next evening, Thea was watching as Will held Cayden up in the air, babbling at him as Cayden babbled back. She sat on the couch, Will lay on the floor with Cayden on his stomach.

Harry was in the kitchen as he called out, “Hey, Will! Could you help me with something, man?”

“Yeah, sure!”

Will handed Cayden to Thea, and Thea pressed two kisses to each of Cayden cheeks, and Cayden squealed happily.

She could hear the boys clattering around in the kitchen, and the thought that both Harry and Will were under the same roof, getting along, and helping each other, made her smile widely. She cooed at Cayden, and Cayden mimicked the sound. Thea’s smile widened.

The clattering in the kitchen soon quieted down, and Thea heard two hushed voices replace it. She could feel a couple set of eyes on her, but she ignored the feeling, keeping her attention on Cayden.

“Man, your sister’s kind of something, Will,” Harry whispered, and Thea felt her heart swell.

“You don’t know the half of it.”

And Thea was pretty sure her cheeks were going to fall off from smiling so hard.

* * *

**Three days later**

“Your son did not want to go to sleep.”

Thea plopped herself down on the couch as she released a rather loud sigh. She leaned her head against the back of the couch as Harry took a seat next to her, chuckling.

“He kept babbling up at me for like twenty minutes, and I couldn’t walk out of the room when he looked so happy,” she said with a sigh, “so I sat there and played with him until he fell asleep.”

“You’re the one that let him sleep nearly all afternoon,” he reminded her with a mocking smirk.

“He fell asleep on my chest!” she reasoned. “I didn’t have the heart to wake him up when he looked all soft and sleepy.”

Harry smiled, shaking his head. “Do you want to watch a film tonight?”

For the past few days, Thea and Harry had started to watch films before going to bed. It all started when Harry told Thea that he’d never seen _The Breakfast Club_ when he was making dinner a couple nights ago, and Thea was appalled. _How can you have never seen The Breakfast Club_? She all but shrieked then. Harry just shrugged, mumbling something about never getting around to it. And it was then, Thea declared herself Harry’s personal movie guide. She would educate him on the delights of eighties iconic films.

Last night, they’d watched _Pretty in Pink_ , and Thea was thinking about introducing Harry to the entertaining world of _Pretty Woman_ , but she was struggling to keep her eyes open at this point in time.

“I’d love to, but I think I’m gonna make a rain check and head to bed,” she said, stifling a yawn.

Harry’s face fell immediately. “Oh, um, right, yeah. That’s, uh, totally fine.”

“You sure?” she asked, tilting her head to the side. “We can watch one tomorrow, yeah?”

“Yeah, sure.” He refused to look at her, and Thea’s stomach felt heavy. They’d made so much progress these past few days. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Right.” Thea nodded as she stood up, “I’ll see you in the morning.”

She began making her way towards Harry’s room. She stopped halfway, turning to say something to Harry, but he already had the television on, and she wasn’t sure he’d hear her over the noise.

So, she kept walking, and when she climbed into Harry’s bed, she couldn’t help but think how big it felt.

* * *

Thea woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of a sharp cry. It took her exactly three seconds to register that it was probably Cayden, and she jumped out of bed, running out of the room until she burst into Cayden’s nursery.

Cayden’s eyes were still closed, but the cries that were falling from his lips were heartbreaking. Thea rushed to his crib, picking him up immediately. Cayden jolted awake, and his cries quieted for a moment before they started again.

“You’re okay, baby,” she whispered, kissing his tear-stained cheeks. “It was just a bad dream, Cayden. You’re okay. I’ve got you.”

She rocked him until his cries quieted down, and he was fast asleep in her arms. Thea was gently placing him in his crib against when Harry ran into the room, panting.

“I was in the bathroom,” he breathed out, eyes wide even in the dark. “Is he okay? What happened?”

Thea smiled softly, kissing Cayden on the forehead before lowering him all the way down in his crib. She turned to face Harry.

“He just had a bad dream, I think,” she said softly, walking towards Harry and pushing him out of the room. With one last check to make sure the baby monitor was on, she closed the door behind the both of them. “He’s okay now. I rocked him for a little, and he fell right back to sleep.”

Harry just nodded, eyes tracing every detail on Thea’s face.

Thea squirmed under the gaze. “What’s wrong? Did I overstep? I just heard him cry, and I wanted to make sure—”

Thea couldn’t finish her sentence. In fact, she couldn’t even _remember_ what she was going to say because Harry’s lips were suddenly on hers, and she wasn’t even sure she could remember her own name.

The kiss started off sweet, just the simple press of lips here and there, and Thea _melted_. If Harry’s arms weren’t wrapped around her waist, she was pretty sure she would have sunken to the floor, but she didn’t. Harry’s arms were around her, pressing her to his front, and all she could feel was Harry. Harry’s lips, Harry’s arms, Harry’s hands. It was all Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry.

She was practically dizzy with the thought of him.

Then he pulled away, and Thea came crashing back to earth. But then she looked at Harry’s half-lidded eyes, his parted mouth, and she was dizzy with it again.

“Harry,” she whispered, and Harry’s grip on her waist tightened. “What was that for?”

“You’re so good with him,” he whispered back, nuzzling his nose against hers. “You’re always so good with him.”

Then his lips were back on hers, and Thea was gone. She was just so _gone_ for him.

This kiss was slightly less sweet. Harry’s mouth seemed much more hungry as they moved quickly over hers, prying her lips open and tongues lapping together. Thea’s arms locked themselves around Harry’s neck, and when she pulled slightly at Harry’s hair, the moan that was drawn from his lips made Thea’s knees weak.

She wasn’t going to survive this.

There was no way.

Her heart was pounding, and she was practically throbbing _everywhere_. And with the way Harry was pressing her body to his, there was no way she was going to survive this.

“Harry,” she whispered against his lips, and Harry made a desperate noise before pulling her closer and kissing her harder. “Harry, wait.”

Harry stopped immediately, pulling away but keeping Thea close. It took just about all her willpower not to press her lips to his again when she saw the way he was looking at her, but she remained still.

“What are we doing?” she whispered, eyebrows drawing together.

Harry’s thoroughly-kissed lips kinked up in a smirk, and Thea wanted to kiss it off. “Well, I don’t know what you call it, but that was kissing. It’s when two lips pucker and—”

His sentence broke off in a yelp as Thea hit him.

“I know _that_ ,” she grumbled, “but I meant we, as in me and you. I mean, you were the one that said—”

“I know what I said.”

“Okay, but now you’re here kissing me, and I’m technically still Cayden’s doctor, and I’m just not sure—”

Harry’s lips were quick to cut her off, and if she wasn’t so keen on kissing him, Thea was fairly certain she’d hit him for interrupting her again.

“Let’s go to my room,” he whispered against her lips, and Thea’s vision went fuzzy. “Please, the sheets are clean. Let’s go.”

Thea smiled. “You were _that_ sure you were going to get lucky.”

“I never _dreamed_ I’d get this lucky,” he breathed, holding her tighter.

Thea’s heart nearly exploded right then and there, pressing herself up to press a kiss to the side of his mouth. “That’s good. That’s really good.”

Harry took the opportunity to bury his face into the crook of Thea’s neck, pressing a line of kisses down the skin there. Thea’s head went blurry.

“I want you so much, Thea,” he whispered hotly into the crook of her neck. “Please, I want you. Don’t you want me?”

Thea gripped Harry tighter. Her voice was a little breathless when she said, “You have no idea.”

Harry stopped, pulling away from her. His eyes were wide, and a bright smile was curving his lips. Thea’s heart started to beat faster.

“You want me?” he asked, voice incredibly soft.

“You’re crazy, you know that?”

“Say it.”

“Say what?”

Harry gave her a look. “Say it.”

Thea pushed up until her lips were a centimeter from Harry’s, barely touching, and then she whispered, “I want you.”

Harry seemed to lose it. He dove in for another kiss, hands moving towards the back of knees and pulling her up, wrapping her legs around his waist. Thea gasped against his lips, and she swore she felt the telltale curve of a smirk, so she pointedly bit Harry’s bottom lips, and he let out a rather loud moan.

“Bedroom,” she whispered, “now.”

And Harry was quick to grant her wish, carrying her to his bedroom and shutting the door behind them.

* * *

Thea couldn’t find her words.

And to be fair, she was a very educated woman, and she couldn’t think of a single word in the English language that could describe how she felt. Her body was practically thrumming with pleasure, and her chest was rising up and down far too fast.

She could feel Harry’s eyes on her, and she melted into the attention as she crawled across the bed, draping herself across him. Harry accepted her happily, wrapping his arms around her body.

“So,” he murmured, voice slightly rougher than usual. “Since your technically getting paid for being our in-home doctor, does that mean you just got paid for _that_?”

Thea shook her head, trying and failing to stifle her giggle. Harry pulled her closer.

“Because I mean, let me tell you, that would be money well earned, but it doesn’t seem quite ethical—”

“Stop talking, please.” Thea leaned up, pressing her hand against his mouth. Harry’s eyes were twinkling, and she soon replaced her hand with her mouth, because she couldn’t think about anything else.

Harry hummed into the kiss, rolling over until he was hovering over Thea. He pressed his hips into Thea’s, and her eyebrows rose high on her head.

“That’s quite a recovery rate you’ve got there, mister,” she quipped, unable to stop her cheeks from blushing. She hoped Harry couldn’t see it in the dark, but as his fingers traced the red tint, she knew he could.

“Well, it’s not so hard to recover when the woman I love is naked in _my_ bed.”

Thea froze, and soon, so did Harry’s fingers when he realized what he had said. Harry’s cheeks mimicked the pink color Thea’s once had, and his eyes were wide. He quickly rolled off of Thea onto the other side of the bed, managing to keep about five inches of space between them.

“Please tell me I didn’t ruin everything,” he whispered. There was a distraught twinge to his voice.

Thea turned her head to look at him. “You didn’t ruin everything,” she whispered.

Harry nodded. “Okay, good,” but he didn’t move an inch.

Then it was silent between the pair. Thea pulled the sheets up to cover her chest, suddenly feeling overexposed. It was another moment or two before Harry broke the silence.

“I’m sorry.”

She turned to look at him. “What?”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have told you like that,” he whispered into the night. “We were both still cooling down, and I shouldn’t have just blurted it out like that.”

“It’s okay,” Thea assured, and they quiet for another moment until she asked, “Did you mean it?”

Harry turned to look at her. “What?”

“Did you mean it? Do you really love me?”

Harry sighed before he scooted closer to her, cupping her cheek in his hand, gently stroking her skin with his thumb. He leaned forward until his forehead was pressed against hers, and Thea’s stomach erupted in butterflies. He pressed a small kiss to her lips before pulling away.

“I’m in love with you, Althea Grace,” he whispered, and Thea felt tears prick at her eyes at the sincerity in his voice. “I’ve been in love with you since the first moment I realized you loved my son,” he paused before, “and I don’t want you to feel pressured to say it back, okay? I just really needed to say it. I love you.”

“Harry,” she whispered, almost desperately. Her hand reached around, gripping the back of his head and pulling him in for another kiss. “Harry.”

He smiled sweetly, thumb stroking her skin. “God, you’re beautiful.”

“Can we sleep?” she asked gently, pulling him closer to her. She hid her face in the crook of his neck. “I’m tired. Let’s sleep.”

Harry smiled, nodding. “Let’s sleep.”

And so, he pulled her closer to him, practically on top of him, and settled into the mattress. Thea smiled into his neck before closing her eyes.

She was nearly asleep when Harry’s voice sounded through the room.

“You know, I would have never fallen in love with you if you didn’t love my son first.”

And then, Thea fell asleep feeling completely at ease.


	17. when dr. hill calls

Thea was leaning against the front desk of the pediatrics floor, organizing the charts that were strewn across the desk, when a nurse walked up to her. The nurse was fairly new, Thea knew that much. But she couldn’t quite place the name, so Thea simply smiled politely as the nurse handed her a cordless phone, informing she had a call.

Immediately, Thea’s smile widened, and her mind went to Harry. It was her first day back since she’d been Cayden’s in home doctor, and she was officially no longer Cayden’s doctor. He was completely healthy. Though he was still in the recovery process, but he was no longer in immediate danger. And that thought alone made the skies slightly bluer, and the air a bit sweeter.

* * *

_Thea woke up to gentle light of the sun slowly peeking its way into the room. It was soft glow, and Thea felt her lips curve at the feel of it warming the room. And then her eyes landed on Harry’s, open and gently watching her, and her smile widened._

_She closed her eyes, nuzzling into pillow. “Are you really watching me sleep?” she whispered quietly, feeling as if anything louder would disrupt the tranquility of the early morning._

_“‘Course not,” Harry whispered back, non-committedly, and she could hear the smile in his voice. When she opened her eyes, her thoughts were confirmed, a gentle smile dancing on his lips._

_“It’s creepy, Harry.”_

_“It’s_ romantic _, Thea.”_

_The bed rustled some as Harry scooted towards her side of the bed, winding his arms around her and pulling her closer. Thea allowed herself to be pulled, melting into Harry’s chest when she was close enough. She tucked her head into the crook of his neck, feeling Harry rest his chin on the top of it. She smiled into his collarbone, fully aware that Harry could feel it._

_“So,” Harry said gently, “what happened last night, any thoughts?”_

_Thea tilted her head up. “What happened last night?” she asked, teasingly, and Harry rolled his eyes._

_“C’mon, babe, be serious.” He squeezed her tighter, and Thea’s body suddenly felt warmer._

Babe _. She wondered if he even knew the name left his lips._

_Thea sighed as she wrapped her arms around Harry’s waist. “I think last night was amazing,” she admitted softly._

_“Yeah?” Thea didn’t need to look up to know Harry was smiling._

_She nodded slowly. “Yeah.”_

_“Good,” he hummed, and the sound reverberated off of his chest._

_“Good.”_

_Silence fell over them, and it was comfortable. So, Thea simply snuggled further into Harry’s hold, closing her eyes and hoping she could get a few more moments of sleep. She was on the cusp of falling asleep when Harry spoke, the sound of his voice rumbling against her._

_“What about the other thing?” he asked quietly._

_“Hmm?” she hummed, fidgeting._

_“What I said before we fell asleep?” he clarified, and the words from then began to play in Thea’s head, and any chance of gaining more sleep flew out of the window. “What, um- what about that?”_

I’m in love with you, Althea Grace _, he’d said._

I’ve been in love with you since the first moment I realized you loved my son.

_Thea suddenly felt rather dizzy even though she was laying down. On their own accord, her fingers started tracing lazy patterns into Harry’s torso._

_“I don’t think I can say it back, Harry,” she admitted, guilt filling up inside her chest. “At least, not- not right now.”_

_There was a slight pause before she felt Harry nod her head. She wished she could see his face, but the thought of tilting her head up to look at him terrified her. His hand began to slowly rub up and down her back. Thea’s eyes lulled closed for a moment._

_When he spoke next, his voice was so gentle, it almost made Thea wanted to cry. “I don’t expect you to say it back, Thea. I just… I want to make sure I didn’t make you uncomfortable. By, you know, saying it.”_

_“No, you could never make me uncomfortable. Not by saying that.”_

_The breath Harry let out sounded a little akin to a sigh of relief, and it ruffled the sleep-mussed hair on the top of Thea’s head. His arms tightened around her, squeezing her before pressing a kiss to her forehead._

_“Can I- can I say it now?”_

_Thea nodded her head, stomach twisting in knots of anticipation._

_Harry pulled her closer, head ducking down to press his lips to her ear. They brushed against the shell of it, and Thea closed her eyes as the onslaught of butterflies fluttered through her stomach._

_“I love you, Thea.”_

* * *

“Dr. Grace.”

Thea blinked once, turning her head to look at the nurse who she couldn’t place a name with. The phone was now in Thea’s hand, and the nurse was looking at it pointedly.

The call. Right.

“This is Dr. Grace.” Thea pressed the phone to her ear.

“Dr. Grace, hi.” A feminine voice spoke on the other line. “This is Dr. Hill from the London Medical Board.”

Thea’s heart stuttered a beat.

 _London Medical Board._ It was England’s most prestigious board of doctors. Some even say it was the _world’s_ most prestigious board of doctors. The board was something every doctor aspires to be apart of, though it was near impossible to be. Often times, they award other doctors for medical successes they achieve in their field, and that was almost as honorable as being apart of the board.

Dr. Hill was the head of the board, and she was the most prestigious doctor in all of the UK (or the world). The strides she had made in the medical world were esteemed and profound, and Thea has looked up to her- her entire life. Dr. Hill was honestly one of the reasons Thea wanted to become a doctor.

“Oh.” Thea’s voice came out a little higher, surprise evident, “um, hi. How are you?”

“I’m doing well. Yourself?”

“Can’t complain.”

“Wonderful,” Dr. Hill quipped. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

Thea looked down to her charts. “No, I just finished with my rounds, so you’ve caught me just in time. Can I ask what this call is about?”

“Certainly. We read the report of Dr. Payne’s and your treatment of Cayden Styles,” she said, and Thea’s brows furrowed, “and we couldn’t help but be impressed.”

_What?_

“R-Really?” Thea squeaked.

Dr. Hill chuckled. “Absolutely. The procedure is the only one we’ve come across that offers such significant less healing time and internal stress. It’s profound, really.”

Thea suddenly realized her mouth was hanging open, so she promptly closed it. “Uh, thank you. Ma’am.”

“Mhm,” Hill hummed before continuing. “That being said, the London Medical Board would like to honor you and Dr. Payne at our annual awards ceremony next week, and we would also like to award you both with the Medical Hill Award.”

_Medical Hill Award._

Thea suddenly forgot how to breathe. She forgot every word in the English language as her heart pounded heavily in her chest.

_We would also like to award you both with the Medical Hill Award._

_Medical Hill Award._

“Dr. Grace?” Dr. Hill prompted on the other line, and Thea realized minutes had passed since she last spoke.

“Oh, sorry,” she spoke hastily. “I’m just trying to process. This is such a big honor.”

“That it is,” Dr. Hill agreed, “and you’ll be the first resident doctor to be awarded at this ceremony. You should very proud, Dr. Grace. You’ve helped the medical world greatly.”

Thea exhaled shakily. “I just- thank you so much. I don’t what else to say. Thank you.”

“You are very welcome. I’ll be sure to send you and Dr. Payne an invite with the details of the event. Feel free to invite as many people as you’d like.”

“Thank you.”

“Have a lovely day, Dr. Grace.”

Thea smiled widely. “You too.”

“And… congratulations.”

* * *

“Shut up.”

Liam looked at Thea like she’d grown a second head, left eye squinted as his brows furrowed in the middle. Thea was smiling so wide, she was fairly certain her cheeks were going to split open, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. It was just Liam and her at the table in the cafeteria, Niall having to be with a patient, so he couldn’t make lunch.

Thea plucked one of the potatoes with her fork. “I’m being serious, Liam.”

“You’re fucking with me,” he proclaimed, rolling his eyes. “And I’m sorry, but telling me that we’re being awarded the Medical Hill Award, and that Dr. Hill, herself, called to tell you, the very woman who inspired the award in the first place, is cruel. Even for you, Althea.”

“Don’t called me Althea.” Thea’s face dropped in the scowl.

“The situation warranted it.”

“It didn’t.” She shook her head, “because I’m telling the truth, Liam! You can call her yourself, but I swear, we’re—”

“Dr. Payne, Dr. Grace!”

Both Liam and Thea’s head whipped around to see Dr. Avery jogging towards them. There was a bright smile on her face, and Thea couldn’t recall the last time she saw Avery smile. Or if she _ever_ saw Avery smile, for that matter.

“Hey, Dr. Avery,” Liam spoke up, and Thea nodded in greeting. “What can we help you with?”

“I just wanted to congratulate you both.”

Liam’s face twisted in confusion while Thea sent a smug look his way.

“On what?” he asked.

Avery waved her hand between the both of then like it was obvious. “Dr. Hill is a good friend of mine, and she called me almost immediately after she told Dr. Grace. It’s a real honor, the Medical Hill Award, that is.”

Liam’s face paled, eyes growing wide, and Thea simply smiled brightly at Dr. Avery. She nodded, voicing their thanks, and when Avery finally walked away, she looked at Liam like a mother did when her child disobeyed her, and it ended up blowing up in their face.

Liam’s ashen face turned towards Thea, and his expression immediately dropped.

“Don’t look at me like that,” he grumbled, and Thea’s smile brightened.

She turned back towards her lunch, popping a potato in her mouth, suppressing the swell of laughter bubbling up in her chest. She bit her lip to do so, but it failed when a small giggle passed her lips.

“Hey, Thea?”

She looked up Liam just in time to see his shocked expression transform into a wide smile.

“Yeah?”

His smile widened, something twinkling in his eyes that Thea thought looked an awful lot like pride.

“We did it.”

The bubble of laughter popped, leaving her lips in happy tones.

She nodded, laughter lacing her voice. “We did. We did it.”

* * *

Nearly a week later, Thea found herself standing in front of her mirror. Or _Harry’s_ mirror, that is. She had a red floor length gown on. It was simple, with an almost mermaid shape that pooled on the floor. Her hair was curled loosely, makeup natural with nude lipstick to pull it all together.

Her stomach was in knots, and she kept running her hand up and down her dress, attempting to smooth out the nonexistent wrinkles. She was so preoccupied that she didn’t hear Harry walk into the room until his arms were wrapped around her middle, pulling her back to his front.

He pressed a kiss under her ear. “Mum will be here soon to watch Cayden,” he said, looking at her in the mirror.

Thea only nodded, smiling softly. Harry was dressed in a traditional tux, and Thea couldn’t help but think how beautiful he looked.

“God, you look beautiful, Thea,” he voiced her thoughts, almost as if he was in awe as he stared wide-eyed at her.

Thea couldn’t help it. She blushed before she could stop the color from rushing towards her cheeks, and she immediately ducked her head down.

Harry pressed another kiss to her jaw, lingering for a moment before pulling away. “Can I say it?”

Thea locked eyes with him in the mirror before she nodded, slowly.

“I love you,” he whispered, nuzzling her jaw, “and I’m so proud of you, baby.”

Thea felt dizzy, and she hooked hand behind Harry’s head, curling her fingers around the back of his neck. She leaned the back of her head against his shoulder, closing her eyes and trying to calm her nerves.

“Thank you,” she whispered, tangling their fingers together.

“For what?”

She smiled softly. “Just thank you.”

* * *

The event was as prestigious as Thea thought it would be.

There was every doctor that ever made a name for themselves in the medical field in one room, and Thea was just about certain that this had to be the safest place to be in the entire world.

There was one other doctor being honored besides Liam and her, and Thea couldn’t quite remember what the other guy was being honored for. And to be fair, it really wasn’t her fault. The entire time Dr. Hill was announcing awards, her ears were ringing loudly, and when she finally got around to announcing Thea, she said things like, “The first resident doctor to ever be honored with this award,” and “It’s a true honor to even have her in the room,” and it was almost too much. Thea had to discreetly wipe tears from her eyes.

Then Thea was walking up to the stage, accepting the award, and it felt like all those years of education, the heartbreak she’d faced every day in her career, the stress, it was all worth. She was one of the doctors that made a name for herself.

Then she looked out to the crowd, saw Harry sitting at the table, clapping loudly and proudly, and her heart did a flip.

It was most definitely worth it.

_I love you, Thea._

She walked down from the stage, and Will was there to hug her. His arms were tight around her frame as he pressed a kiss to her temple. Mumbling words like _proud_ and _amazing_ and _sister_. Tears burned at the back of her eyes, but she was so, so happy.

Now, Harry and her sat at their table. She was leaning against him, his arm around her shoulder, both of them gazing at the Thea’s award in front of her. Her name was etched into it, and she couldn’t get herself to look away from the etchings.

_Doctor Althea Grace_

_Honorary Member of the London Medical Board_

“I did it,” she whispered, and Harry’s head turned to look at her. She didn’t need to look up to know he was smiling.

He leaned in, pressing a kiss to the shell of her ear. “I’m so fucking proud of you.”

Something inside of Thea burst just then.

Before she could respond, Liam walked up to the both of them, clearing his throat. When Thea looked up at him, he was holding onto his award, smiling kindly at her and Harry.

“I see you lot managed to work everything out,” he quipped, motioning towards the arm Harry had wrapped around her shoulders.

Thea blushed, but before she could say anything, Harry was pulling her closer to him, brushing his lips against her temple.

“We did,” he said softly, nodding.

“Well, I wish you both the best. You deserve it.”

“Thanks, mate.”

Thea turned to Liam, smiling softly. “Yeah, thank you, Liam. And congratulations,” she said, motioning towards the award in his hand.

Liam immediately brightened, smile wide on his face. “Thanks, Thea. You too. Now, I better go rescue Mason from Niall before she lets him get drunk off champagne and embarrass us all.”

Thea laughed, shaking her head. “Oh, God. They’d probably take our awards back.”

Liam chuckled, nodding his head. He began walking away before he paused, turning to look towards Harry.

“She’s special, mate,” he said as if Thea wasn’t sitting right there. “Hurt her, and there will be hell to pay from a lot of people.”

Harry nodded once, face suddenly serious. “I know she is.”

* * *

Thea was busy getting Harry and her drinks when someone tapped her on the shoulder. She figured it would either be Mason or Niall, drunkenly stumbling around the ballroom, but when she turned around, she was looking at an unfamiliar face.

“Um, hi?” The words were formed in a question, and the man smiled amusedly.

“I’m Dr. Evans.” He stuck his hand out, and Thea put one of the champagne flutes down to shake it. “I’m one of the fellow award honorees. Congratulations, by the way.”

Thea’s eyes widened in recognition. “Oh, yes! Sorry I didn’t recognize you. The nerves kind of kicked in when Dr. Hill was announcing.”

Dr. Evans laughed, nodding his head. “No worries. Totally understand.”

“Well, it was nice—”

“Wait just a second,” Evans interrupted her, and Thea’s eyebrows shot up in question. “I have a bit of a proposition for you.”

Thea didn’t say anything, cocking her head to the side in question.

“I was awarded today for the traveling medical tours I’ve put together overseas,” he informed her, and Thea nodded along. “You know, for those countries that don’t always have the means for proper healthcare.”

“That’s amazing,” she praised, smiling.

“Thank you.” Dr. Evans sounded appreciative. “Well, anyway, we’ve been looking for a doctor who could work well with children. Specifically children with VSD, and well, considering you’ve received the proper accolades, we would like for you to join the next tour as the lead doctor.”

Thea felt her mouth drop open, eyes wide. “Me?” she asked, pointing at herself.

Dr. Evans chuckled, nodding. “Yes, you.”

“But I’m only a first year resident.”

“And you’ve been awarded a Hill Award.”

“I’ll need a cardiothoracic surgeon,” she said slowly, “you know, if I were to repeat the surgery I was awarded for. I would need a cardiothoracic surgeon.”

“We’ve already talked to Dr. Payne. He’s on board.”

“Oh.”

Evans smiled sympathetically. “Look, I know it’s a lot to take in. Overseas medical tours are very hard work. We’ll have limited resources, and the conditions will be next to unbearable, but you’ll be saving people who never dreamed of living for one more month. It’s the most rewarding job you’ll ever have.”

Thea sighed, almost wistfully. “Yeah, I can imagine.”

“I’m not looking for an answer right now.” He dug his hand in his pocket, producing a business card and handing it to Thea. “Think about it, and let me know by the end of the week. Yeah?”

Thea nodded, looking at the business card in her hand.

When she joined Harry again, she sat down, and he immediately pulled her into his side, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

“Who was that guy you were talking to?”

“Hmm? Oh, he was just the other honoree.”

Harry nodded once. “Talk about anything interesting?”

“No.” Thea shook her head, “not really.”

* * *

_She shuffled by the door, bags lying by her feet as Harry held Cayden in front of her. Her hand was gently rubbing Cayden’s back as he babbled something to his father, Harry’s eyes lighting up. Thea sighed heavily._

_She didn’t want to go._

_As if he were reading her thoughts, Harry’s eyes flitted up, finding hers. Cayden’s head was tucked in Harry’s neck now as he sucked two fingers into his mouth, eyes on Thea._

_“I really don’t want you to go,” he whispered, feet shuffling against the floor._

_“I’m not leaving you both, Harry,” she promised, nearly grimacing at the thought. “I could never leave you two.”_

_Harry nodded, looking a bit more relieved. “Things are different now, right?”_

_Thea thought back to the last two nights they’d spent tangled in bed sheets, mouths muffled against each other’s skin, and she suddenly felt warm all over. Her head ducked to the ground as she nodded._

_“Yeah, things are different now.”_

_Harry stepped forward and pulled Thea into his side. She pressed a kiss onto Cayden’s cheek before she leaned against Harry’s shoulder, closing her eyes. Cayden squealed when he realized she was so close, and his hand moved to stroke her cheek, mimicking something she always did with him. Her heart swelled at the thought._

_“Can I say it?” Harry whispered, and Thea closed her eyes, nodding._

_She would never get tired of hearing it._

_“I love you so much, Thea.”_

* * *

“You have to go.”

Thea looked up to see Will walking into her room, a stern look on his face. Her eyebrows furrowed together in confusion before she realized what he meant, and a frown soon replaced the furrow. Slowly, she placed the book she was reading down on her bed, trying and failing to make eye contact.

“Who told you?”

“Not you,” Will bit, and Thea felt guilt bubble in her chest. “You should’ve been the one to tell me, Thea. Not Niall.”

Mentally, Thea cursed as she shook her head. She hadn’t meant to tell Niall, but he cornered her at the awards ceremony after Harry had slipped away from her, and he hammered her with questions. He’d seen her with Dr. Evans, and Thea honestly didn’t know what else to do, so she told him everything.

Thea look down to her lap, twisting her fingers together anxiously. “I knew you’d tell me to go,” she said hesitantly.

“Damn right I’d tell you to go. This is an amazing opportunity for you.”

Thea sighed, climbing out of her bed. “What about you?”

“What _about_ me?” he asked as if that made no sense at all.

“I can’t just leave you,” Thea said in an obvious tone. “Where will you live? Where will you work? Who’s gonna take care of you?”

Will sighed, shuffling towards the bed and taking a seat and pulling down with him. “I’ll be fine, Thea. I’ll keep working at the hospital, and unless Mason is thinking of kicking me out, I figured I’d just stay here. And contrary to your beliefs, I’m not a kid anymore.”

Thea only looked down, nodding her head. “In my mind, you’re that ten year old boy who still carries around his ratty old blanket.”

“I’ll be fine, Thea,” he told her. “And Harry and Cayden will be fine, too.”

Thea’s head snapped up, eyes wide. “How’d you—”

“I know you well enough to know that I’m not the only one you’re worried about.”

“I don’t want to leave everyone,” she whispered. “Not when everything is so good.”

“There’s people out there that need you more than us, Thea,” he pointed out gently, placing his hand on his sister’s knee. “It’d be selfish of you to stay here, and you’re anything but selfish.”

* * *

Thea spent the entire next day at Harry’s. After she was given the award, Avery had allowed her three days off, informing her that- that was her time to celebrate. Though Thea suspected Avery knew about the offer and was properly giving her time to think about it.

Either way, Thea was grateful.

She was sitting at the kitchen table, watching Harry make them both tea when she realized she had to tell him. It was now or never, and she couldn’t just _not_ tell him.

And with a deep breath, she said, “I’m leaving, Harry.”

Harry’s head whipped around at her words. Thea’s eyes wouldn’t meet his as he watched her carefully. She knew if she looked up, she would see a myriad of emotions surfacing his face. Confusion. Anger. Pain. And she would be the cause of every single one of them, and because of that, she couldn’t look up.

“What did you just say?” He stopped his actions in making them tea. There was an abundant supply of peppermint tea now in his flat, and Thea’s heart almost exploded when she saw it. He kept it because it was the only tea Thea even considered drinking, and he refused to keep coffee in his home (“It tastes like petrol, Thea. It’s vile.”). “Please tell me this is a weird joke that I’m not going to understand.”

Finally, Thea allowed her eyes to flit up to Harry’s face. He was staring at his efforts to make tea, but even by his side profile, Thea could tell she was right about the mix of emotions. They were written clearly on his face, though one shone through. Pain.

“I got an offer to travel overseas and work in this medical tour,” she explained, speaking slowly and calmly. “We’ll go to several third world countries where we’ll help kids like Cayden. Kids who have VSD and no way to be treated.”

“For how long?” Harry finally looked at her, voice almost unemotional.

“Two years.”

Harry exhaled heavily, averting his eyes. Slowly, he shook his head as if he could forget all of this and just move on. For a brief second, Thea wondered if he’d ever want to forget about her, but the thought caused her heart to ache, so she quickly moved on.

“Harry,” she whispered when he wouldn’t respond, “they want me to be the head doctor on this tour.”

He didn’t say anything, and Thea’s heart broke with each silent passing moment.

“They want me, Harry. I’m not board certified, and I haven’t finished my residency, yet they still _want_ me.” She paused, sighing. “That’s major.”

Harry shook his head, still refusing to look at her.

“That’s what that guy was talking to you about,” he finally realized. “The one you were talking to at the ceremony.”

He looked to Thea for confirmation, and Thea simply nodded.

Harry nodded once, completely abandoning the tea and turning around to lean against the counter. Thea stood up, walking towards him but keeping a good bit of distance between them.

“What else do you want me to say, Harry?”

“For once,” he said, voice rasped with emotion. “I just want you to be selfish enough to not want to go.”

“You know I can’t do that.”

“This is what I was afraid of all along,” he whispered, averting his gaze from her. Thea’s heart broke with his words. “It was inevitable. You leaving.”

There were no word to be said in response, and even if there were, Thea’s heart shattered in her chest, and she couldn’t respond as the shooting pain became overwhelming.

Finally, Harry turned to look at her, and for a moment, relief washed through her. Though the relief only lasted a moment before agony took its place. The look on Harry’s face made her want him to turn around.

“Thea,” Harry whispered quietly, “my son is alive because of you. He wakes up everyday and I get to hold him in my arms because of you.” He paused, taking a deep breath. Thea took a few steps forward, but she didn’t dare reach out for him. “When I wake up in the middle of the night, terrified that something’s happened to him, I get to check on him. Because of you. I get to see him grow up and love. And I get to watch him have kids of his own, and I get to love him through all of it. I get to do all of that because of you, Thea. And I want you to stay and be apart of it.”

Thea felt her eyes sting with tears. “But don’t you see, Harry? If I do this, I get to do what I did for you and Cayden for so many other families. I get to help people. I have to go.”

“Another doctor could do it.” He tried to reason.

Thea shook her head. “But what if they can’t? What if everything that I went through with you and Cayden was preparing me for this moment? What if I’m meant to do this?” She paused before speaking in a quieter voice. “And make a name for myself outside of my mother’s hospital.”

Harry looked like someone had just punched him in his gut. “So Cayden and I were just a notch in your belt?”

“No!” Thea exclaimed, shaking her head quickly. She diminished the distance between the two of them, cupping Harry’s face in her hands. Harry’s bottom lip quivered. “God, no. You and Cayden… You both have been my entire world, but I need to do this, Harry. I have to.”

“But what if I need you?”

She closed her eyes, breathing through the pain those words caused her. When she opened them, Harry’s eyes were imploring, and she knew exactly what they were asking. _Stay_.

“Harry… I just- I can’t.”

Harry’s hands moved to Thea’s, peeling them away from his face and dropping them. He took a step back from her, recreating the distance Thea was so keen on removing. His eyes were trained on the floor, and Thea physically missed the sight of them.

“Harry, please,” she pleaded with everything she was. Her hand reached out to touch him before she thought better of it and let it fall back down.

Thea’s mind flashed back to what seemed like forever ago now. When Harry hadn’t hesitated to touch her, his hands roaming all over her bare skin. Gripping and holding as if he couldn’t get enough. She remembered his lips pressing fire into her skin as he moved above her. She remembered the way he held her after it was over, his lips pressing to his ear as he proclaimed his feelings for her in an intimate whisper. She remembered it all, and she wished it didn’t seem so far away now.

When Harry finally looked up at her, she noticed the tears streaming down her cheeks. They mirrored his.

“Is there anything I can do to make you stay?”

Thea pulled her bottom lip into her mouth, hoping to relieve some of its shaking. Slowly, she shook her head, answering Harry’s question with a single movement.

“Right.” Harry nodded, looking away as his lip trembled. His voice was wobbly, and he quickly moved to his hand to wipe away the moisture on his cheek. “I can’t believe this is happening to me again.”

“Harry, please.” Thea felt pathetic as she took a step forward, but Harry simply took a step back, maintaining the distance.

He shook his head. “Please, just go, Thea. I- I just can’t.”

She released a broken cry as she nodded, granting his wish as she turned to walk out of the kitchen. She was about four steps in when Harry called her name, and she turned around, tearful eyes hopeful.

“You know, you’re really no better than Camille.”

Thea felt like someone had stabbed her in the heart with a cold knife. Her breath stuttered for a moment before she felt more tears leaving her eyes. Harry stared at her with this cold look in his eyes that she had never seen him wear before. It was terrifying. So without so much as a word spoken in defense, Thea turned around and hurried out of his flat. It was until the door was safely shut behind her that she allowed her sobs to rattle her chest.

And that was how Althea Grace had her heart broken.

It wasn’t until she was almost home that she was able to pull herself together, body-rattling sobs turned to hiccuping whimpers and hiccuping whimpers turned to quiet sniffles until it was nothing. And once she was put together again, she pulled her phone and a small card out of her pocket. She quickly dialed the number etched on the card.

“Dr. Evans? Yes, hi, it’s Thea Grace. I was just calling to tell you I’m on board. I want to join you for the next medical tour.”


	18. when thea says goodbye

**Tuesday 7:33 AM**

_Hey, it’s- it’s me._ Pause. _Look, I know you probably don’t want to talk to me. You not answering says that much, I guess._ Pause. Sniffle. _I’m sorry for hurting you, I really am. It was never my intention. Just- just wanted you to know that. I-I, uh, I’m sorry._

Beep. _Message deleted._

**Wednesday 6:57 PM**

_Um, hey. Sorry to bother you, but I just wanted to let you know when my flight was._ Pause. _It’s, uh, Monday. At noon. So, yeah._

Beep. _Message deleted._

**Friday 1:31 AM**

Sniffles. _H-hey. I-I’m sorry I keep calling you._ Muffled cry. _I miss you, and I just really want you to come over. Please, come over. Pl—_

Beep. _Message deleted._

**Friday 3:13 PM**

_Hey, it’s me again. I just wanted to apologize for last night. Everyone came over for drinks, and I got a little too carried away._ Soft chuckle. _I guess my drunken mind still thinks about you, too._ Long pause. _Anyway, sorry. ‘Bye._

Beep. _Message deleted._

**Sunday 11:28 PM**

_Hey. I swear this is the last time I call you. For some reason, I keep thinking you’ll eventually pick up, but…_ Pause. _But you don’t, which is fine. I get it_. _I just wanted to say goodbye. Mason is taking us to the airport tomorrow, so I just… I wanted to- never mind. ‘Bye._

Beep. _Message deleted._

**Monday 4:54 AM**

_I think I might be in love with you._

Beep. _Message replayed._

_Message replayed._

_Message replayed._

_Message deleted._

* * *

Mason was sitting down in the couch when she heard a key turn in the lock. She turned just in time to see Thea stumble into the room, eyes red and cheeks tear stained. Mason jumped to her feet, running over to her Thea. Thea’s bottom lip began to tremble as her eye landed on her.

“Hey,” she whispered, hands gently grasping Thea’s shoulders. Thea whimpered, and Mason drew her into her arms. “Hey, it’ll be alright. Everything will be alright.”

Thea shook her head against Mason’s shoulder. “I don’t wanna go, Mason. I don’t wanna leave them.”

“I know,” Mason hushed, combing her fingers through Thea’s matted hair.

That was when the first shattering sob racked through Thea’s body. Her entire frame began to tremble, and Mason felt the tears falling on her like boiling water burning her skin. Mason began to rock their bodies back and forth, gently whispering kind words. And with each cry that ripped through Thea’s lips, Mason’s heart cracked. Because she knew. She knew there wasn’t anything she could do but stand there. She could only stand there and hold her best friend, hoping that her presence alone was enough to fix her.

“I- I love him.”

Mason closed her eyes, breathing out a sigh. “I know.”

It wasn’t enough.

* * *

Thea woke up in Mason’s bed with the entire comforter wrapped around her. She turned around, eyes locking with Mason’s.

“Good morning,” Mason whispered quietly. Thea just smiled softly in response. It didn’t reach her eyes. “Feeling better?”

She shrugged before saying, “Sure.”

Mason’s face dropped. “No, you’re not.”

Thea swiped her hand over her face, sighing. She turned her head, finding her phone on the bedside table, quickly grabbing it. Her eyes flicked up to the time, sighing when it read seven in the morning.

_Too early._

She just wanted to sleep, and she didn’t feel like that was asking for much.

“Thea,” Mason whispered gently beside her, and the tone of her voice caused Thea to close her eyes tightly. Whatever she had to say probably wasn’t good, and Thea just wasn’t ready for it. She may never be.

“Please,” Thea heard herself whimper, and she almost flinched with the vulnerability she heard in her own voice, “don’t, Mason. Just… don’t.”

“He doesn’t get to just hurt you this way, Thea.”

Thea’s eyes flew open, head whipping over to look at Mason. Her eyebrows furrowed, and they settled low on her forehead as she shook her head.

“He didn’t,” she protested, voice hard. “ _I_ did this. It wasn’t Harry.”

Mason gave her a look. It was a look only your best of friends could give you. Only someone who cared about you deeply could possibly look at you like that. It was a look that said they disagreed with what you said, but they did it in the most loving way possible. It was a look like a mother gave her child when they disobeyed her, but she still loved them with everything she was.

Thea didn’t get those looks from her mother. Ever.

Mason didn’t say anything. She just kept looking at Thea, and after some time, Thea became frustrated.

“What?” she barked.

“You didn’t say much last night, but you said enough for me to know that he hurt you,” Mason said softly, voice matching her expression. “I know he did.”

Thea just shook her head before turning around so that her back faced Mason. There was a pause between the pair before Mason sighed. Thea heard the shuffling of her getting up, and the bed wiggled momentarily. Then Mason’s footsteps padded across the room, and she opened the door, shutting it behind her as she left the bedroom.

Thea forced herself to close her eyes. To suppress the welling of emotions she felt in her chest. Push it down.

She wouldn’t cry.

Not again.

Her phone vibrated against her stomach, and she jumped, eyes flying open. She fumbled to grab it, and when she saw what the notification was, she felt herself deflate.

It was a text from Niall.

Not Harry. Of course, it wasn’t Harry.

Thea unlocked her phone, but instead of clicking the messages app, she found herself flicking through her contacts list. Her thumb hovered over Harry’s name before she clicked it.

Then she pressed call.

It rang once. Twice. Thea pressed her thumbnail into her mouth, chewing on it anxiously.

Three times. She sat up against the head of the bed.

Four times.

_We’re sorry, but the caller you’re trying to reach…_

Thea sighed heavily, pressing the phone closer to her ear.

_Please leave your message after the tone._

Beep.

“Hey, it’s- it’s me.” Her voice shook as she spoke, so she quickly took a moment to compose herself. “Look, I know you probably don’t want to talk to me. You not answering says that much, I guess.” There was a stinging sensation in her eyes, so she sniffled, trying to suppress the unwanted feeling. “I’m sorry for hurting you, I really am. It was never my intention. Just- just wanted you to know that. I-I, uh, I’m sorry.”

Thea hung up, dread washing over her. She felt stupid. _Dumb._

_He doesn’t want to hear from you. Stop being so pathetic._

She dropped her phone against her chest, and rested the back of her head on the wall behind her. Her eyes were only closed for a minute before the door creaked open, and Thea opened her eyes, expecting to see Mason.

“Hey,” Will greeted softly. His hair was sleep-mussed, and the shirt and shorts he wore were wrinkled. “Mason woke me up. Said you needed me.”

Thea looked at him briefly before shaking her head, speaking monotonous. “I’m fine. You can go back to bed.”

Though Thea knew that wouldn’t work, she still sighed when Will shut the door behind him, shuffling towards the bed and taking place where Mason once laid. Thea didn’t move, only staring straight ahead at the closed door, but she could feel Will’s eyes on her, unwavering.

He allotted her a moment or two of silence, and Thea took that time graciously. Words weren’t something she felt the need to voice. She didn’t want to talk. Really, she didn’t want to do anything. She just wanted to lay there. Alone.

“What happened, Thea?” Will finally asked after the moment of silence passed.

Thea didn’t answer.

“Don’t shut me out, Thea,” he pleaded after another moment. “You and I both know nothing good ever comes when we shut each other out.”

In that moment, Thea couldn’t help it. Her bottom lip began to tremble, and it seemed as if all the strength she had used to suppress her emotions fizzled out, and her eyes began to sting horribly. The lump in her throat grew much too large, and she was seldom to swallow it down. It was too much.

It was just too much.

The first sob that bubbled up from her chest did not go unnoticed, and it only took her brother a half of second before he was tugging her into his chest, and she was crying horrible, gut wrenching sobs.

“I didn’t mean to hurt him,” she cried in between ragged breaths. “I didn’t _want_ to hurt him.”

“Shh,” was all Will said, and for some reason, it only made Thea cry harder.

Her body wracked with the waves of sorrow, and she couldn’t do much to stop them. When she thought, the tears would fizzle out, more came and replaced them, staining the skin as they fell. Will held her close to him, rubbing her back with a strong and secure hand. Thea couldn’t help but think it shouldn’t be like this. She was the older sister. She wasn’t supposed to be taken care; she was supposed to do the taking care of. It wasn’t supposed to go this way.

She wasn’t supposed to be broken.

She was supposed to do the fixing.

“You’ll be alright,” Will whispered, voice strained. He pressed a kiss to her temple. “Everything’ll be alright. I just know it.”

Thea didn’t have the heart to tell him that nothing was going to be okay. It couldn’t be. Not now.

Not matter what happened, she was still broken.

* * *

Thea spent the rest of the day in Mason’s bed. Both Will and Mason took turns laying with her, and no matter how hard she protested that she didn’t need a babysitter (she wasn’t a child, after all), there always seemed to be someone lying beside her, feeding her, watching a film with her. That night, she fell asleep squished between the pair.

The next morning, Thea got out of bed, and made herself some breakfast. She had a restless night of sleep, so she ended up consuming almost an entire pot of coffee before anyone else woke up. She made sure to brew a new one so they couldn’t tell.

After breakfast, Mason insisted they go shopping. Thea was leaving soon, after all, she needed new things. Thea didn’t tell Mason that the thought of packing made her feel ill, so she simply got dressed, allowing Will and Mason to tug her out the door.

They met Liam at the first shop, and as soon as he saw Thea, he pulled her into a hug. He told her how brave she was for joining him on the tour. Thea didn’t feel brave, so she didn’t respond. Or return the hug.

Mason linked arms with Thea while they shopped. She was so positive about everything she picked out, telling Thea she just had to have it, so Thea nodded at every item, placing it in the shopping bag they had. When they were done shopping, Thea had spent a lot more money than she originally planned, but Mason was smiling so wide, so Thea figured it was okay. Even if she didn’t smile once.

When Thea got home, Liam and she booked their flights. After it was done, she excused herself to go the bathroom.

She ended up crying on the toilet seat.

Later that night, Thea slipped away to her room. She had all her newly bought items strewn across her bed. A suitcase laid by the foot of it. She sat on the floor next to her empty suitcase, her phone in her hand. She toyed with mindlessly between her palms before she unlocked it.

Without much thought, she found Harry’s contact, quickly clicking call before she thought any better.

It rang three times this time before going to voicemail.

Her heart felt like it was in her stomach when it finally beeped.

“Um, hey,” she said lamely, closing her eyes briefly, “sorry to bother you, but I just wanted to let you know when my flight was.” She blinked back tears before continuing. “It’s, uh, Monday. At noon. So, yeah.”

Thea hung up quickly, feeling the sudden urge to throw the phone across the room when the first tear fell down her cheek.

_Fuck._

* * *

Thea spent the next day in bed.

She alternated between crying and sleeping. When Mason or Will came in to check on her, she pretended to be asleep.

And they pretended to not notice she was faking.

* * *

On Friday morning, Thea got out of bed, but when Mason asked if wanted anything to eat, she said no.

She sat on the couch and watched mindless television, not absorbing a single word. She didn’t move from the couch all day, and she didn’t even notice it was dark until Will and Mason sat on either side of her, staring at her until she noticed them.

“Can I help you?” Thea spoke in a monotone voice, though she remained staring straight ahead.

Both Mason and Will simultaneously sighed.

“Get up,” Mason said with no preamble.

Thea looked at her, brows furrowed. “Pardon?”

“We’re going out,” Will spoke up this time. He patted Thea on the knee. “Get ready, sister dearest.”

“I’m not going anywhere, guys.” She shook her head.

There was silence for a moment before she felt them both nod their heads once.

“Fine,” Will said.

“We’ll just invite everyone over,” Mason declared.

And two hours later, Thea found herself in the same position on the couch with Mason and Will on either side of her. This time, there were a few other people in the flat, and Thea was nursing her third gin martini.

Her head was a little less foggy, but the fogginess was replaced with fuzziness. Thea wasn’t so sure which feeling was worse, though she didn’t feel like crying anymore, so she figured that was a positive.

“Thea! Hello!”

Thea blinked twice before she realized Niall was waving a hand in front of her face, trying to get her attention.

“What? Sorry,” she apologized, downing the rest of her drink.

“I was just asking you how’s packing going,” he said, taking a seat on the coffee table that sat parallel to Thea. “Are you excited for the tour?”

Liam, who sat in a chair behind the coffee table, stiffened, eyes widening. Mason shook her head, trying to subtly convey to Niall that this subject wasn’t ideal. Thea didn’t say anything, eyes casting to the floor.

Niall, however, didn’t quite understand any of the cues being sent his way.

“What?” he asked, confused. “I figured she’d be excited. I mean, it’s a huge—”

“Niall!” Will suddenly spoke loudly, standing up and pulling Niall to his feet. “Come on, I need your help in the kitchen. Do you mind?”

Niall looked at Will confusedly, and Liam jumped to his feet, grabbing Niall’s other arm.

“C’mon, mate, we’ll both help, yeah?”

Then they disappeared into the kitchen, and Thea really wished she had another cup of gin martini. Or maybe just gin.

“I’m sorry,” Mason finally spoke up. Thea turned to look at her. “We didn’t get a chance to warn Niall, but we just figured he wouldn’t say anything.”

Thea simply shook her head, placing her empty cup on the table as she stood. “There’s nothing to warn him about.”

And then she was walking away, head feeling a little more dizzy than fuzzy and body feeling heavy. As she walked passed the kitchen, she heard Niall whisper-hiss, “Why doesn’t anyone tell me anything?” And for some reason, that made Thea’s eyes sting in that familiar way.

The first tear fell as soon as she stepped into her bedroom, and by the time the door was shut, she already had her phone pressed to her ear.

This time, the phone only rang once before going to voicemail.

“H-hey,” she stuttered, sniffling into the phone. Her eyes caught the clock on her bedside table, and she winced when she realized it read over one in the morning. “I-I’m sorry I keep calling you.” She felt a cry bubble in her chest, and she pressed her hand over her mouth as it tumbled out. “I miss you, and I just really want you to come over. Please, come over. Pl—”

Thea’s phone beeped once, and she quickly took it away from her ear.

Dead.

She stumbled to her feet, wavering for a few moments before she collapsed into her bed. The tears streaming down her cheeks went barely noticed.

The way she cried herself to sleep went very noticed.

* * *

Thea had a headache the next morning. But somehow, her head seemed a little bit clearer. It was easier to climb out of bed, despite the slight pounding in her head.

When she walked into the kitchen, she realized it was the late afternoon. She had slept through the entire morning. Mason didn’t seem to be home, so Thea quickly pulled out her phone.

When she dialed his number, she knew he wouldn’t answer.

“Hey, it’s me again,” she said softly after the beep. “I just wanted to apologize for last night. Everyone came over for drinks last night, and I got a little too carried away.” She tried to laugh, but there wasn’t much humor in it. “I guess my drunken mind still thinks about you, too.” She winced at her words, shaking her head. The next words came out in a rush of, “Anyway, sorry. ‘Bye.”

Thea quickly hung up before busying herself with trying to remedy her hangover.

When Mason came home a few hours later, she found Thea packing.

* * *

Thea spent the entire next morning packing.

She went out with Liam and bought things they needed for the tour.

She spoke with Avery for some much-needed advice.

She made sure to text Niall, so he knew there were no hard feeling about the night before.

She had dinner with Mason and Will.

She thought about Harry and Cayden more than she cared to admit.

And she slept through the night.

* * *

Thea spent all her Sunday packing and saying goodbye.

She had a sit-down breakfast with Will at one of their favorite cafés.

“I spoke with Mum and Dad,” Will said over his mug of tea.

Thea nearly spat out her coffee.

“What? When?”

“Yesterday,” he said, “they heard about your medical tour, and they wanted me to extend their congratulations.”

Thea nodded, expression neutral. _They could’ve just called me,_ she thought, but didn’t say.

“And…” Will trailed off.

Thea raised a single eyebrow. “And?”

“And,” he continued, “they said they wanted to give me the hospital when I turn twenty.”

_What?_

“What’d you say?”

“I said I’d think about it. Give them an answer when I was ready to.”

Thea nodded, mulling over the words. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yep, okay.”

“Okay,” Will parroted.

Then they went back to their breakfasts, changing the subject completely.

It wasn’t brought up again until they were walking towards their flat.

“Promise me you’ll tell me first when you decide.” She suddenly turned to Will before unlocking the door. “You won’t be able to call me, but you can email.”

Will nodded. “Okay, I’ll tell you first.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

* * *

Later that day, Thea called Dr. Avery.

“I’m proud of you, Thea,” Avery said. Her voice was gentle and kind. A tone Thea had never heard from her. “It has truly been an honor being your attending mentor.”

Thea had to blink back tears. “Thank you, Dr. Avery.”

“Of course. Now go save the world.”

Thea cried when she hung up.

* * *

“I’ll look after them.”

Thea looked at Niall oddly, cocking her head to the side. They were out for lunch at some restaurant Niall had picked. Basically, the menu consisted of all the meat products one could think of, and Thea had trouble finding something that piqued her interest. Niall almost guffawed when she ordered a salad, but it was totally fine.

There had been a slight rift in the conversation when Niall spoke those words, and it had thrown Thea off for a split second.

“I’m sorry?” she questioned, voice rising an octave.

“Harry and Cayden,” Niall clarified, and Thea felt her stomach drop. “I’m not quite sure what went down, but I know you’ll be worried about them. So, I’ll look after them.”

Thea tried to desperately swallow the lump in her throat before she nodded shakily.

She looked towards her salad, and that was that.

Niall didn’t mention it again, but Thea felt her insides swell with gratitude.

* * *

She had dinner with Liam and Mason, and not even a minute after, she was in her room, finishing up her packing.

It was nearing midnight when she finally finished, and she was sitting on the floor by her bed. Her phone sat in her lap, almost mocking her. She looked at it for a few seconds, glaring in a ridiculous way before she figured she was _being_ ridiculous. She snatched her phone from her lap, unlocking it and dialing the number.

It went straight to voicemail.

“Hey,” Thea breathed into the phone, feeling vaguely stupid for the churning she felt in her stomach. “I swear this is the last time I call you. For some reason, I keep thinking you’ll eventually pick up, but…” she trailed, shaking her head, “but you don’t, which is fine. I get it. I just wanted to say goodbye. Mason is taking us to the airport tomorrow, so I just… I wanted to- never mind. ‘Bye.”

 _Say I love you_ was on the tip of her tongue, but she thought better of it. He wouldn’t want to hear that. Not now.

Thea hung up the phone, dropping her head.

She tried to hold in her tears, she did. But one fell down her cheek anyway, and another one followed it before she could wipe it.

Thea stopped crying before she went to bed, but she dreamt of Harry, and woke up in tears.

* * *

She couldn’t fall back to sleep, and she was grabbing at her phone before she could stop herself.

“I think I might be in love with you,” she whispered into the dead of night.

Thea hung up the phone nearly hating herself.

She didn’t sleep for the rest of the night.

* * *

When she emerged from her bedroom with dark circles under her eyes, Mason didn’t say a word. Though, she did spare Thea a knowing look. Thea didn’t say anything.

Before she knew it, they were calling a car, and packing all their belongings into the car. Mason was the only one going to the airport with them because she had a gate pass. After the last piece of luggage was packed, Thea sighed, turning to face Will. There was a lump in her throat that she tried to swallow but couldn’t.

Then Will was pulling her into a hug, and the tears couldn’t be stopped.

“I’m proud of you, Will,” she whispered into his shoulder.

Will chuckled weakly. “Shouldn’t I be the one saying that to you?”

Thea pulled away just enough to see his face. His eyes were teary, but the smile on his lips was genuine. Thea’s heart began to thump with pride.

“No.” She shook her head, sniffling. “Because you’re much braver than I am, Will. You always have been.”

“I think I’m gonna take up Mum and Dad’s offer for the hospital,” he confessed, speaking quickly.

Thea didn’t miss a beat. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

She nodded. “Okay.”

Will tugged her into another hug. “I love you.”

Thea’s returned sentiment was stuttered out in a sob.

She pulled away from her brother, pressing a kiss to his cheek before turning away. She offered one last look before climbing into the car.

And as the car drove further and further away, Thea pretended as if her heart wasn’t breaking.

* * *

Check in and security did not take as long as Thea would have hoped.

And it was not long before she stood beside Liam and Mason, their entrance gate staring mockingly at her. There was barely anyone in the seating area, and Thea was sure that was because they were still a half an hour early.

Liam turned to Mason. “I told you we’d be too early, babe.”

“There’s no such thing as too early, Liam.” Mason scoffed. “Haven’t I taught you anything?”

Thea chuckled, shaking her head. She handed off her backpack to Mason before saying, “I’m gonna go scout out some decent coffee. Anyone want anything?”

They both chorused a string of no, and Thea nodded before turning around.

She was only able to take a single step before a voice rang out, and her entire body froze.

The voice was almost faint, as if the person was a little bit away. But it was impossible not to recognize it.

_There’s no way._

_There’s no—_

“Thea!”

For some reason, Thea’s head whipped to look at Mason—like she needed Mason’s confirmation. Mason’s eyes were wide, face almost stricken as she looked behind Thea.

Then slowly, Thea’s eyes moved to look in front of her, and she saw Harry fast-walking toward her with a look of determination on his face. She felt her heart beat a little faster. Her eyes moved down and saw Harry’s hand wrapped around Cayden’s car seat, and her heart swelled.

“Harry,” she whispered when he slowed to a stop. His eyes were wide, chest heaving as if he’d run all the way to the airport. “What are you doing here?”

Thea could feel Liam and Mason’s eyes on her, and when she turned her head, they quickly looked away. Mason placed her hand on Liam’s shoulder, tilting her head to the side and leading him away. She turned towards Harry.

“I- I just couldn’t let you leave,” he told her, and Thea’s face dropped. “No, no, that’s not what I mean. I just meant I couldn’t let you leave without saying goodbye.”

“Harry,” she whispered again. It was the only word she could think to say.

Harry shook his head, almost like he was clearing his thoughts. “I get why you’re doing this, I do. And I’m sorry for being a dick.” He looked down to the ground, shuffling his feet. Cayden cooed loudly, as if begging for attention. “I just- I thought we really could’ve been something special. And I hate to see that something go.”

Thea parted her lips to speak when—

_“Now boarding for nonstop flight 121 to Lima.”_

Thea almost flinched. She turned her head to look at Liam. He had a sympathetic look on his face as he cocked his head to the side, beckoning her to him.

_I’m sorry, but we have to go._

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry,” Harry said as she looked at him again. “You didn’t deserve the way I treated you.”

Thea nodded, biting her lip. “And I’m sorry for hurting you. That was never ever my intention, Harry, you have to know that.”

He didn’t miss a beat. “I do. I know that.”

_“Final call for nonstop flight 121 to Lima.”_

Thea felt panic rise in her.

Harry’s face dropped as she said, “I have to go, Harry.”

“I know,” he nodded, mouth parting and closing several times. “I- um, Cayden just really loves you. And he’ll miss you.”

Something filled in Thea’s stomach, making her heart pound in her chest and her head dizzy. Her eyes flickered down to Cayden. He was squirming in his car seat, face puckering.

That was when it dawned on her.

This was the last time she’d see Cayden as an infant. That is, if she ever saw him again. She wouldn’t see his first steps. Hear his voice when he spoke his first word. His first wave. She wouldn’t be there to switch him to solid foods. She’d miss his first birthday.

She would miss the next two year of his life.

She would miss everything.

Tears filled her eyes, and Thea didn’t feel the need to stop them as they rolled down her cheeks.

“I’ll miss him, too.”

_“Last call for flight 121.”_

Harry nodded then he stepped forward, wrapping his arm around her waist. He pulled her close, pressing his lips to hers in a sweet kiss. Thea kissed back, feeling vaguely dizzy. When he pulled away, he kept his mouth just a centimeter from hers.

“Can I say it?”

Thea didn’t need him to clarify. She knew exactly what he meant, so she nodded.

“I love you, too,” he breathed, and Thea forgot how to.

_I think I might be in love with you._

Then Liam placed his hand on her shoulder, and she was being steered away from Harry. When she looked back, right before she entered the plane, Cayden was crying in Harry’s arms as Harry rocked him, staring at Thea.

When she boarded the plane, her phone buzzed just as the pilot instructed all phones be placed on airplane mode.

Thea silently cried when she read the message.

_You’re nothing like Camille. Come home to me safely. x_


	19. when they meet again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning: showcases character's struggle with ptsd

_“We’re losing him!”_

_There was panic in his voice as Thea whipped her head over. Liam’s expression was scrunching up in concentration. She tried to listen to what he was saying, but the incision Liam had made burst in blood, and Thea was quick to start the suction._

_The heart monitor was screaming, the patient’s BP dropping as was his heartrate. Thea felt adrenaline surge through her, and she tried not to think how this reminded her of Cayden’s surgery. It was too soon._

_The bleeding was becoming intense. Thea struggled to keep it under control. The heart monitor continued to scream, and with each echoed sound, Thea felt dread fill her bones._

_“Liam,” she said in a warning tone, pushing cloths into the area of the bleeding._

_Liam cursed under his breath. “I’m trying, I’m trying.”_

_The bleeding worsened._

_“Nurse, I need the clamp!” Liam said in a tight voice._

_“I need more suction!” Thea said a second after him._

_Nurses scrambled to accommodate their doctors, and just as a nurse was about to help with suction, the monitor screamed._

_Thea’s head whipped up. “BP is dropping. We’re going to need an IV.”_

_Liam nodded, and the nurse beside Thea rushed to get one._

_“Get me a defib,” Liam said to another nurse. “We need to stabilize his heartbeat.”_

_The monitor screamed louder. Thea cursed._

_Her head was spinning. She imagined a much smaller body on this table. A body she loved more than anything, and her stomach churned._

_It wasn’t Cayden. Cayden was safe._

Cayden is safe at home, _she continued to remind herself._

_Then the heart monitor zeroed out, and Thea felt her heart dropped._

_“Defib now!” she yelled, and the nurse handed it over. She pressed it to either side to the patient’s heart. “Clear!”_

_She charged it, and both her and Liam’s head shot up to heart monitor._

_No change._

_She positioned the defib again. “Clear!”_

_Nothing._

_“One more time! Clear!”_

_Silence. Flat line._

_Liam cursed, and Thea felt her heart drop as she heard Liam say, “Time of death. Three-oh-four.”_

_When Thea told the mother, the sound of her scream haunted Thea for years._

* * *

Thea woke up with a start.

There was something warm staining the skin of her cheeks, and it took her moment to realize they were tears. Her head whipped around, chest heaving, and she felt herself calm just a little when she realized she was in her own room.

It was just a dream.

It was the same dream Thea had every single night since it happened. It always ended with an echoed sound of the mother’s scream. A scream in agony after she had lost her five-year-old son.

That was the very first boy they treated on the medical tour, and they lost him. He bled out on her table. They had saved nearly hundreds of lives after him, but the memory of _him_ still haunted her. The look on his mother’s face when she realized he was gone—it all still haunted her.

It has been two years, and it was still as if it happened yesterday.

Finally, she’d gotten her breathing under control, and she knew sleep was only going to end fruitlessly, so she pulled the covers off her body.

She tried to keep her footsteps quiet as she padded through the flat. She didn’t want to know what time it was, but by the look outside, it was sometime in the early hours of the morning. Probably nearing five. Thea was _exhausted_ , but she wasn’t tired.

Coffee was the first thing she began to make. Mason had gotten a Keurig right before Thea came back. She claimed it was little _welcome home_ present, and Thea had only been back for two days, but so far, she was certain she’d gone through about twenty K-Cups.

Perhaps she did have a bit of a problem.

Thea took a sip of the coffee, sighing in relief. She had been drinking instant coffee for two years. Sometimes, you forget how good the real thing is.

She pattered over to the kitchen table, taking a seat. Her phone pinged in her hand, and she lifted it to see she had some email notification. She ignored it, going straight to her messages. Her thumb hovered over the main screen for some time before she clicked Harry’s name.

_You’re nothing like Camille. Come home to me safely. x_

That was the last message between the pair. Two years ago. But Thea could remember reading that message as if it were yesterday. She still got butterflies in her stomach when she did.

Thea often stared at the message, hoping to see those three little bubbles pop up, indicating he was typing something. Sometimes, she stared at her phone, hoping to see Harry’s name appear with an incoming call. But it never did. Which didn’t make Thea mad, per se, it was just a little disappointing. But then Thea quickly pushed that thought, feeling stupid. Harry probably didn’t know she was even home. The only people that knew were Mason and Will. She wasn’t even sure if _Niall_ knew.

Thea sighed, taking another swig of her coffee. She was just about to make herself another one when she heard footsteps, and she turned around to see Will making his way into the kitchen.

He stopped short when his eyes landed on her, eyebrows furrowing together.

“What are you doing up?” he asked gently and quietly. Thea took notice in the suit he was wearing, and she narrowed her eyes.

“Couldn’t sleep,” she told him. “What are _you_ doing up?”

Will walked to the Keurig. “I have a meeting with some advisors from the hospital. Need to leave soon to get there by six.”

“Early meeting.”

Will hummed in agreement.

“I’m proud of you, you know,” she said softly. “Owning a hospital is a lot of work. You should be proud.”

Will smiled softly. “Thanks. Now, I just need to buy a flat of my own and become an actual adult.”

“Don’t rush it,” Thea said. Will smiled.

It was silent between the pair. Only the sounds of occasional sipping could be heard. Thea relaxed in the tranquility of it all. She wasn’t granted much peace in the past two years, so she wanted to take advantage of it when she could.

“How are you doing?” Will suddenly asked, breaking the silence.

Thea turned to look at him. “I mean, fine, I guess.”

“No PTSD symptoms?”

“I didn’t go to war, William.” She rolled her eyes.

Will shrugged, tipping his head to the side. “No, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t any trauma.”

Thea’s mind flashed to the boy that bled on her table. The mother’s cry of agony began to echo in her mind. She felt her chest clench, and Will was looking at her expectantly, so she quickly comprised her expression to represent something neutral.

“I’m fine, Will.”

“Thea,” he said in a tone that said he didn’t believe her. His mouth parted, though before he could say anything, his phone chimed. “Shit, I’ve got to go before I’m late.”

Thea just nodded, smiling softly.

“Get some sleep, Thea,” he said softly, “or at least, try. Please.”

She only nodded again as he turned his back and left.

Once she heard the door opening and closing, she dumped her coffee in the sink, making her way towards the living room. She laid down on the couch, closing her eyes and gaining another half an hour of sleep.

It was better than nothing.

* * *

Mason woke her up, though she wasn’t really sleeping. _Couldn’t_ sleep. She was simply resting her eyes.

Thea blinked twice, trying to will away the blurriness. When her eyes focused, she saw Mason with rather matted hair and a certain glow on her skin. Thea smirked.

“I take it you had a good night,” she quipped as she stretched, sitting up.

Mason blushed. “Well, when your fiancé goes on a medical tour for two years, you tend to get a little busy when he comes home.”

Thea raised a single eyebrow, chuckling.

Mason disappeared into the kitchen for a moment before reappearing with two mugs of coffee. She offered one to Thea before sitting down beside her. Thea blew on her coffee, silence enveloping them.

Then Mason spoke up.

“Have you talked to him?”

There was no explanation, and Thea didn’t really need one. She knew exactly who Mason was talking about, and she felt her lungs stutter a breath at the thought of him.

After a moment or two, Thea shook her head slowly.

_You’re nothing like Camille. Come home to me safely. X_

Mason only nodded, sipping her coffee.

“You know,” she said after a bit, “Liam’s having nightmares too.”

Thea’s head turned. “How’d you know about that?”

“I know _you_ , Thea.”

Thea nodded before slowly sinking down, gently laying her head on top of Mason’s shoulder. After another moment, she felt Mason’s head lay on hers.

“He’s going to a therapist, you know,” Mason said a moment later. “Liam, that is. To help with the PTSD.”

“I don’t need a therapist, Mase,” Thea bit. “I’m fine.”

Mason sighed before, “It’s not bad to ask for help, Thea. Doesn’t mean you’re weak.”

* * *

That was how Thea found herself sitting on Dr. Schmidt’s couch.

“So, how are you feeling today, Thea?”

Thea looked up from her hands, locking eyes with Dr. Schmidt. She smiled warmly at her, nodding her head and encouraging Thea to speak.

When the nightmares wouldn’t let up, Thea decided she had to schedule an appointment. Dr. Avery was the first person she called, and she referred Thea to Schmidt, and the bi-weekly meetings were formed. This was Thea’s second meeting, and after two weeks of being home, she hasn’t made much progress on her post-traumatic stress––at least, that was what Dr. Schmidt called it.

Thea bobbed her head. “Tired,” was all she said.

“How many hours of sleep did you get last night?” Dr. Schmidt scribbled something on her notepad. She always asked that.

“Two. Maybe Three.” Thea always responded with that.

Schmidt nodded, writing some more.

“Any nightmares?”

“Two.”

“The same one?”

“Yes.”

Thea closed her eyes as the memories flashed through her mind.

_The bleeding was becoming intense. Thea struggled to keep it under control. The heart monitor continued to scream, and with each echoed sound, Thea felt dread fill her bones._

She squeezed her eyes shut tighter.

_Her head was spinning. She imagined a much smaller body on this table. A body she loved more than anything, and her stomach churned._

There was dread in the pit of her stomach as if she was reliving it. There was a small hum from the distance, as if someone was calling to her. Thea ignored it.

_Liam cursed, and Thea felt her heart drop as she heard Liam say, “Time of death. Three-oh-four.”_

_When Thea told the mother, the sound of her scream haunted Thea for years._

“Thea.”

Thea’s eyes opened wide, body shuddering. Dr. Schmidt was looking at her with a crease in her brows. Worry was evident in her eyes.

“Does that happen often?” she asked quietly.

Thea didn’t answer. She simply looked down to her feet.

“Thea,” Dr. Schmidt spoke again. “Is there anyone you need to talk to? Anyone in your personal life that you need to resolve things with?”

“Why?” Thea’s voice cracked, so she cleared her throat.

“Because I think it’d help. It won’t magically cure your PTSD, but you need all the support you can get. From everyone you care about.”

* * *

The next day, Thea found herself standing in front of a familiar door. Her hand hovered in the air before she finally took a break, knocking three times.

The silence was followed was eerily quiet, and with each passing moment, Thea felt her stomach churn with nerves. Her hands were jittering by her side, and she began bouncing on the balls of her feet.

Then she heard his voice, and she forgot how to breathe for a moment.

“Hold on, buddy. Daddy has to answer the door.”

“But Daddy!” A higher, younger voice spoke, and Thea felt her heart momentarily stop.

Cayden.

Before she could dwell on the sound of Cayden’s voice, the door swung open, and Thea’s eyes met Harry’s.

Time seemed to stop in that moment. Harry’s eyes, as green as they had ever been, stared at her, wide. His body was frozen there, hand on the door. There was a tiny body hiding behind his leg, clutching the material of his jeans.

“Thea?”

Thea almost felt a sob crash her chest at the sound of her name leaving his lips. She closed her eyes for a moment, taking it all in, before opening them and smiling.

“Hi, Harry.”

Harry smiled wider, turning to his son behind. Cayden looked up expectantly, and Thea was suddenly struck with how old he looked. His hair was a shade darker than Harry’s, but his eyes were almost identical to his father’s, and Thea felt something heavy in the pit of her stomach.

“Cayden,” Harry spoke softly, and Cayden seemed to relax a little, “Do you want to say hi to our friend?”

Cayden peeked out from behind his hiding place, eyes bashful and so, _so_ green. “Hi,” he whispered, looking down at the floor before hiding again.

Thea felt the nerves in her stomach lessen, heart light, and just like that, she fell in love. 

* * *

They sat side by side on the couch together. Cayden was taking his afternoon nap, and Thea found herself staring awkwardly at her fingers, twisting them in her lap. She was annoyingly aware of Harry’s presence next to her, and she was contemplating breaking the silence when he suddenly did.

“I’m glad you came to see us,” he said, voice slightly raspy before he cleared it. “I was worried you wouldn’t after you came back.”

Thea’s head turned to look at him. “Of course, I came to see you. And Cayden.”

Harry smiled softly, and Thea paused for a moment before adding, “He’s gotten so big. It’s crazy.”

Harry chuckled, nodding. “He’s smart, too. He’s in the ninetieth percentile for his speech. It’s amazing.”

“That’s so good, Harry.”

The side of Harry’s mouth quirked in a smile as he nodded, turning his head to look straight ahead again. There was a beat or two of silence before he spoke again.

“Can I ask you something?” he asked, almost timidly.

There was no hesitation before Thea said, “Of course.”

He looked towards her, head tilted to the side. “Why’d you leave? Honestly, I just want to know why. Was it really because you wanted to save lives? Or was- was it because of me?”

“Honestly?” Thea sighed as Harry nodded quickly. “It was both.”

Harry’s posture drooped. “Oh.”

“But not for reasons you’re thinking,” she quickly countered, leaning forward to try and catch his eyes. “I was so crazy about you, Harry. And it was such an intense feeling that suddenly my life began to revolve around you. I was constantly thinking about you, and that’s not to say there’s something wrong with that. Not at all. But it became to the point that when you broke things off after we first kissed, my world fell apart. I couldn’t do my job properly. I felt like shit constantly, and it was almost like your opinion of me mattered more than my own. And that’s not how it should be. When we finally got together, I was so happy. But I felt a little on edge too, because I was scared that the second it fell apart, so would I. It was kind of like walking on eggshells.”

She paused, waiting for Harry to say anything, but his eyes were content on her. When she realized, he wasn’t going to say a word, she continued.

“My happiness was starting to revolve around you, and when I got the offer to do the tour, I didn’t realize then that the reason I really wanted to go was so I could find myself again.” She looked down to her hands in her lap, clasping her fingers together. “I thought a little space would make me a little more independent. Make me value myself more instead of only valuing what you thought of me.”

Thea finally looked up at him, and he was watching her with wide, hopeful eyes. “And did it?”

“I think so.” She nodded slowly. “Sitting here with you feels less intense. Like my entire livelihood isn’t based on the outcome, you know?”

There was something else Harry wanted to say, Thea could tell. So, she gingerly reached across the space between them, placing her hand on his knee gently. Harry looked up, shock evident on his face.

“What is it?” she prompted kindly.

Harry hesitated for a second before, “Is that why you wouldn’t tell me you loved me?”

Thea nodded. “Partly, yeah. I was worried that admitting that would make it more real. Then it would hurt more when it all fell apart.”

“ _When_? You make it sound like we were doomed from the start.”

Thea shrugged. “I feel like we were. At least two years ago, we were. We depended on each other entirely too much, and you had so much going on in your life. There was so much tragedy that neither of us really ever worked through, and we kind of just latched onto each other.”

“Yeah.” Harry seemed to be considering that for a moment before he nodded. “I suppose you’re right. Looking back, it was a bit unhealthy.”

Silence grew as Thea’s head drooped, eyes focused on her shoes.

“I’m going to therapy now.”

Harry’s head snapped up to look at her. “Really? For what?”

There wasn’t any judgment in his voice, simply curiosity. And Thea appreciated that more than she thought she would.

“My PTSD from the tour,” she said slowly, “and I’m also working through stuff with Luke. I don’t think I ever fully healed from his passing, and Dr. Schmidt is helping me work through that.”

“That’s amazing, Thea,” Harry praised, and Thea felt warmth prick at her skin. “I’m proud of you.”

Thea nodded her gratitude. Her throat was feeling tight, and she worried if she opened her mouth, it wouldn’t be words. So, she hoped her smile said it all.

And by the look on Harry’s face, it did.

Then they sat in silence, though it felt oddly calming to Thea. She looked over at Harry, only to find his eyes already on hers. Harry smiled softly, and the wind was almost knocked out of Thea from the familiarity of it all.

“Cayden should be up soon,” he said, suddenly looking sheepish. “Do you want to stay for dinner?”

Thea nodded, because honestly, where else would she want to be?


	20. when it's the end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning: brief mention of suicide

“Thea,” Harry whispered quietly.

They were all laying down on the couch. It was after dinner, and Cayden had found a home on Thea’s chest, snoozing away. After he’d gotten over his initial shyness, Cayden took quite a liking to Thea. He stuck by her side most of the night, insisted on sitting next to her at dinner, and he even asked his dad why he wasn’t dating Thea.

“I mean, she’s pretty, Dad,” Cayden said as if that explain everything. “I definitely think you should date her, then she could be my mummy.”

Harry’s face turned bright red as he stared at his son with daggers. Cayden, however, did not notice and simply continued eating his dinner in peace.

Thea stifled her laugh in her potatoes.

“Hey,” Harry tried again when Thea didn’t respond. “Can I tell you something?”

Thea’s hand stalled its stroking motion in Cayden’s hair. When she looked up, she was met with Harry’s anxious look. His eyes were darting around the room, as if he couldn’t keep eye contact with Thea.

“What’s going on?” she asked, trying to keep her tone light, but it was hard when Harry looked so nervous. “What is it? You can tell me anything.”

His gaze casted down for a moment before he looked at Thea again. His eyes flicked to Cayden once before settling on Thea.

“I, uh, I’m not really sure if I even need to tell you this,” he started, voice cracking once, “but I figured I might as well. You know, get everything out in the open.”

Thea nodded, urging him to continue.

“Um, like a year after you left, Camille and I decided to try again, for Cayden’s sake.”

In that moment, Thea felt her heart crack. They were together. Cayden had his mother back. There was no room for Thea here. She felt her body stiffen, almost as if she didn’t deserve to be here. They didn’t belong with her anymore.

She suddenly found it hard to breathe.

“But,” Harry continued, unknowing of the reaction his words had on Thea, “we ended it shortly after. Cayden didn’t really have a good reaction to her, and it kind of scared her off, I think.”

Thea took a deep breath, relief surging through her.

A moment later, she chastised herself for feeling that way. She was still Cayden’s mother at the end of the day. Cayden deserved to have his mother love and care for him.

“We both discussed it, and we decided it was best if I had sole custody of Cayden. She didn’t want to be a part of his life, and I think selfishly I didn’t want her to be. Not after everything she’s done.”

Thea took a moment to absorb everything before she slowly nodded. She looked down to Cayden still sleeping peacefully on her chest, eyelids fluttering just like they did when he was a baby.

She realized then, in that moment, that it was okay if Cayden’s mum didn’t love him. She loved Cayden enough for the both of them. And no matter what, Cayden would always have her.

And so, she looked up at Harry, and she told him exactly that.

At the end of it, Harry’s face grew impossibly soft, eyes wide and round. There was a smile softly playing on his lips, and Thea thought she should take a picture. After all, a face like that deserved to be in a museum.

“Thank you,” Harry whispered, voice soft.

Thea furrowed her eyebrows, tilting her to the side. “For what?”

“For…” Harry trailed off, shaking his head. “Just thank you.”

* * *

“So, how are things for you, Dr. Grace?”

Thea smiled. “I feel like you can call me Thea now, Dr. Schmidt.”

Dr. Schmidt chuckled, nodding her head. “All right, Thea, then you may call me Emily.”

“Okay,” Thea nodded once, “Emily it is, then.”

“My question still stands. How are things?”

“A little bit of the same,” Thea bobbed her head from side to side. “But I did take your advice.”

Emily smiled, eyes twinkling. “Oh yeah? What advice was that?”

“That I should talk to someone I care about.”

Emily scribbled something on her notebook. “And who was it that you spoke to?”

“The father of an old patient of mine,” she spoke slowly. “We used to be, um, close before I left for the tour.”

“How was it to reconnect?”

“Really good. Like _really_ good.”

Emily nodded. “Did anything romantic happen?”

Thea was quick to shake her head. “No, no, nothing like that. I’m not sure if we’ll ever get to that point again, but it’s just good to be back in their lives again.”

“Their lives?” Emily’s eyebrows raised high on her forehead.

Thea nodded her head once. “Yeah, Harry and Cayden. Cayden is Harry’s son.”

“And Cayden was your patient?”

Thea nodded.

“What was Cayden being treated for?”

“His heart defect. He was the person Liam and I first performed the VSD surgery on.”

“Ah,” Emily breathed out. She wrote a few things on her notebook before she asked a different question, changing the topic.

Thea wasn’t so sure how she felt about it.

* * *

“Thea, Thea, you’re here!”

As soon as Thea stepped into the flat, Cayden was glued at her side, hand clutching hers. He tugged twice as Harry chuckled behind him, slowly making his way towards them.

“He heard the key,” Harry explained, motioning at the key in Thea’s hand. After she’d been home for three weeks, Harry had very unceremoniously thrown it in her hand. When Thea looked at him in question, Harry just told her to keep, to let herself in whenever she wanted to. And Thea pretended like that key didn’t mean the entire world to her.

“That’s okay.” Thea shook her head, chuckling. She knelt in front of Cayden, smiling. “How was your day, little man?”

Cayden bounced on the balls of his feet. “Good, good. Daddy and me went shopping for toys, and I got a new fire truck. Wanna see?”

“ _Daddy and I_ ,” Harry corrected, and Cayden rolled his eyes.

He jabbed his thumb in the air, pointing to Harry. “He does that all the time.”

Thea laughed, looking up at Harry. He was shaking his head, chuckling when his eyes landed on Thea. Her heart began to beat harder as her laugh dwindled down to nothing. Harry stopped laughing too, the smile still on his face, and his eye intently on Thea.

“Thea!”

Thea blinked twice, tearing her gaze from Harry. She looked to Cayden who now wore a rather annoyed and impatient expression. Thea wanted to laugh again.

“C’mon!” He tugged on her hand again. “Don’t you want to see my new truck?”

Thea smiled, nodding. “Lead the way, mister.”

* * *

“Hey stranger,” Niall said as he plopped down next to Thea.

It was her first day back at work after being home for a month. She was eating by herself in the cafeteria. It’d been a relatively slow day at the hospital, mainly catching up with people she hadn’t spoken to in a while, but it was almost like returning home after a long vacation. Thea always felt at home here.

She smiled wide. “Hey, where’s Liam?”

“Ouch.” Niall placed a hand on his heart, feigning hurt, “is my company not enough?”

“You’ve clearly been replaced.” Liam appeared next to the table, placing his tray of food down before sitting.

Niall scoffed, scooping his pizza from his tray. “I’m family, you bastard. By definition, I’m her favorite.”

“Not necessarily, ma­–”

“Bleh!” Liam was promptly interrupted by Niall’s shrill shriek as he spat his bite of pizza on the tray. “How is it after two years this food hasn’t gotten any bloody better?”

Thea and Liam stared at him.

“What?” he said, smirking. “Why are you looking at me like that? It’s not you lot made the pizza.”

Both Liam and Thea burst out in laughter, shaking their heads. Thea suddenly felt like she was being transported two and a half years ago. To a time when she hadn’t known Harry or Cayden yet. A time when it was Niall, Liam, and her against the world. It was a much simpler time, and a part of her missed it more than anything. But she realized she wouldn’t change the life she had now for the world.

When their laughs dwindled to silence, Thea was the first one to speak. “Isn’t crazy how much life has changed?”

Liam and Niall both nodded.

“I’m engaged for Christ’s sake,” Liam said, voice almost in awe. “Thea’s shacking up with her former patient’s father… well, _again_.”

“Hey!”

Liam continued as if Thea hadn’t said a word. “And Niall’s as single as ever.”

Niall looked extremely offended, shoving a handful of fries into his mouth. “Fuck you, man. I’m just playing the field.”

“What does that even mean?” Thea scoffed.

“I don’t know,” Niall spoke through a mouthful of food. “Just seemed like the right thing to say.”

“Jesus, Niall.” Liam shook his head, chuckling. Thea laughed, and Niall looked at both of them confusedly.

“What?” he asked. “Was it something I said?”

And just like that, Thea felt at home.

* * *

Emily studied Thea for a moment before asking, “And how are you doing today?”

Thea shrugged. “Pretty good, actually. First day back at work, and it was good. Felt right.”

Emily scribbled something down on her notebook. Usually, her notes were short, only taking her a few seconds. However, this time she seemed to be writing for an inordinate amount of time. Thea’s felt a little anxious as she watched.

“Any surgeries in the future?”

Thea paused before shaking her head slowly. “No, Dr. Avery and I agreed we I should wait for a while until I perform any surgeries. For now, I’m only viewing.”

Emily nodded, writing something else down once again.

After a moment of silence, Emily solemnly looked up at Thea. “Now, Thea, I would like to talk about Harry and Cayden today.”

Thea stiffened immediately.

“How close were you and Harry before you left for the tour?” Emily continued as if she couldn’t see Thea’s uncomfortable demeanor.

“Um, fairly close.”

“Were you engaged in an intimate relationship?”

Thea felt her cheeks heat up. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Please just answer the question, Thea.”

Thea sighed heavily before whispering, “Yes.”

Emily nodded, writing for another lengthy amount of time. After a minute or two, Emily looked up at Thea once again.

“I need you to answer this honestly for me, okay?” Her voice was soft, kind. Thea nodded immediately. “What were your feelings for Harry?”

Thea opened her mouth to answer, but she quickly shut it. “I, um, I’m not sure. I cared about him a lot. But I’m not sure how much farther it stemmed.”

Emily nodded. “Did you know Harry and Cayden when Luke passed?”

“I did,” Thea said quietly.

There was another long pause. This one lasted longer than the any of the others as Emily scribbled note after note. Thea’s leg began to bounce anxiously before Emily looked up at her again.

“Your guilt over Luke’s death,” she spoke slowly, “did it have anything to do with your feelings for either Cayden or Harry?”

Thea jolted like she was shocked. “What? No! No, of course not.”

“Are you sure? Because that could be why you’re holding onto this guilt.”

“No.” Thea shook her head adamantly. “That’s not why.”

“Then what is?”

“Because it’s my fault!” She suddenly burst, body filling with heat. “Luke died because of me. It was me.”

Emily seemed shocked, head jolting back. “Thea,” she whispered sadly.

Thea’s eyes began to burn as she shook her head. “That little boy on the tour. I killed him, too. I didn’t save him. He’s dead because of me.”

“You have to know that’s not true, Thea.”

Thea shrugged, wiping the tears from under her eyes. “I’m a doctor. I’m supposed to save people, but I couldn’t save them. It’s on my shoulders.”

“You’re also human,” Emily said, “and sometimes not everyone can be saved, but that doesn’t mean it’s your fault.”

Thea shook her head, looking away as she let out a stuttered cry. Tears began to steadily fell down her cheeks.

Emily handed her a tissue before she spoke again, “You know, I had a patient with clinical depression. She was on medication, and she was seeing me almost every day. Then one day, she didn’t show up. She wouldn’t answer my calls, and I was later informed she took her own life. The depression won.”

Thea slowly looked at Emily, sniffling.

“I struggled with that for quite some time, but then I realized it wasn’t my fault. It was the disease’s fault.” Emily spoke her next word softly, “In the end, there’s always so much we can do. We’re only humans.”

* * *

The next night, Thea was packing a bag when Mason walked into the room. She leaned against the doorway, eyebrows furrowing together.

“What’re you doing?” she asked, staring pointedly at the bag.

Thea turned to look at her, shrugging. “Packing a bag. Harry invited me over for a movie night, so I need to head over there soon.”

“You’ve been spending an awful lot of time there,” she said skeptically, walking into the room and taking a seat next to Thea on the bed. “Do you really think that’s a good idea?”

Thea wasn’t looking at Mason as she said, “I’ve missed out on two years of Cayden’s life. I’m not missing out on anymore.”

“Okay.” Mason nodded, “I just want you to be safe.”

Thea turned to her, smiling. “And that’s why I love you, Mase.”

“I love you, too,” Mason said as she pulled her best friend into a hug.

* * *

“Thea! Watch me!”

Thea looked over to see Cayden’s face was covered into pasta sauce as he furthered smooshed his face into his plate of spaghetti.

“Cayden!” Harry spoke sternly, and Cayden’s head jolted up, eyes wide. “Food is for eating, Cayden. Not playing with, do you hear me?”

Cayden looked down to the floor. “Yes, sir.”

Thea put the rag down she was helping Harry dry the dishes with, patting his shoulder as she made her way to Cayden. She smiled softly at him before extending her hand.

“C’mon, troublemaker,” she spoke sweetly, “why don’t we go clean you up?”

Cayden brightened then, jumping down from his chair and taking Thea’s hand.

“We’ll be back, Dad!” Cayden spoke enthusiastically as they passed Harry.

Harry only chuckled, turning his head to look at them. He locked eyes with Thea, smiling. “Behave, Cayden!”

Cayden rolled his eyes as they made their way into the bathroom. He looked slightly ridiculous with all the pasta sauce on his face, but Thea found it strangely endearing. “He _always_ says stuff like that, but I’m always good!”

“Sure you are, little man.” Thea laughed as she lifted Cayden onto the counter.

He looked mildly offended as he watched Thea wet a washcloth. “It’s true, Thea! I’m good!”

“I believe you!” Thea claimed, but Cayden rolled his eyes again. “Now, come here,” she said, holding the washcloth up and tapping him on the nose.

Cayden leaned forward, fighting a smile. Thea began to gently swipe the cloth across his face, pressing a kiss to every piece of skin she cleaned. Cayden giggled every time her lips pressed against his skin, and Thea’s heart melted a little bit each time.

Once Cayden’s face was sauce-free, Thea began to rinse off the cloth, and Cayden watched her do so. She could almost see the gears turning in his head before he asked his question.

“Are you a mummy, Thea?”

Thea furrowed her eyebrows before shaking her head. “I’m not, buddy. Why do you ask?”

“Dunno,” he mumbled, shrugging his shoulders, “you’d be a good mummy, I think.”

Thea’s heart felt warm. “Well, thank you, buddy. Maybe one day, I will be one.”

Cayden was quiet once more, swinging his legs as he sat on the counter. His eyebrows were furrowed, and when Thea was done cleaning the washcloth, she gently smoothed out the wrinkled skin between his brows.

“What’s going on in that little head of yours?” she asked softly, pressing a kiss between his eyebrows.

He hesitated for a moment, as if contemplating whether he should say what he wanted to before, “Did you know Daddy use to have a picture of you? He kept it next to his bed, and sometimes I _sawed_ him look at it at night.”

“Are you sure it was me?” Thea asked slowly.

Cayden nodded quickly. “It was you. I ‘ _member_ seeing it. And sometimes he seemed sad when he looked at it.”

Thea didn’t know what to say. She just watched Cayden, and before she could say anything, Cayden spoke again.

“I asked Daddy if you were my mummy, but he said you weren’t,” he explained, kicking his legs again. “So, I asked him if you could be my mummy, and he said maybe. And I think you’d be a good mummy to me, Thea!”

Something in Thea’s heart grew warm, and she smiled softly as she looked at Cayden. She pressed a kiss to both of his cheeks.

“C’mon, little man, it’s time for bed.”

Cayden outstretched his arms, asking to be held, so Thea picked him up and placed him on her hip.

They walked to his room, and Thea pulled a pair of pajamas from his drawer, dressing him and getting him ready for bed. When he was snuggly and tucked into bed, comforter pulled up to his chin, Thea pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“Goodnight, Cayden,” she whispered sweetly.

She stood up, walking toward the door. It wasn’t until she was standing in the entryway about to shut the door that Cayden whispered, “Goodnight, Mummy.”

Thea almost broke down in tears right then and there.

After that, she quickly made her way to the living room. Harry was kneeling in front of the of the television, messing with the DVD player. He turned his head when Thea entered the room, standing up.

“Hey.” He smiled, “thanks for putting him down. I’ve almost got the movie–”

Thea didn’t let him finish. She strode across the length of the living room, cupping Harry’s face in her head and pressing her lips to his.

Harry let out a gasp against her mouth before he melted into her, kissing back immediately. His hand wrapped themselves around her hips, pulling her flush against him. Their lips slid against one another as if they had never parted, and Thea felt dizzy. Her head was rushing. If Harry wasn’t holding her so tightly, she knew she would’ve collapsed.

“Thea,” Harry gasped again, so Thea kissed him harder.

She tangled her fingers in his hair, earning a breathy moan, so she tugged at the strands to hear it again. Her body flushed all over when she did.

The kiss soon turned desperate, and it wasn’t long until they were both pawing at each other’s clothes.

Then it wasn’t long after that until they found each other tangled between the sheets, holding onto one another as if they were each other’s lifelines.

* * *

Later, when they were sated and sleepy, Harry held Thea close to his chest, pressing tired kisses to whatever skin he could reach.

Thea’s eyes were lulling closed when Harry whispered, “Can I say it?”

She didn’t hesitate before nodding.

“I love you, Thea.”

Thea smiled, heart skipping a beat as she whispered, “I love you, too.”

Because she truly did.

* * *

“It wasn’t my fault.”

It was the first thing Thea said to Emily as their session started a few days later. Emily looked at Thea oddly, cocking her head to the side, so Thea decided to clarify.

“Luke’s death,” she said quietly. “The little boy’s from the tour. It wasn’t my fault. I tried everything I could to save them, but the disease won in the end.”

Emily nodded encouragingly. “And do you believe that?”

“I’m starting to,” she admitted. “It’s hard when your job is to heal people, and sometimes you can’t.”

Emily nodded quickly in agreement.

“But I think I’ve realized something that is just as important as healing others,” Thea admitted.

Emily looked up at her. “And what’s that?”

“Healing yourself.”

“Do you think that’s what you’re doing? Are you healing yourself?”

“I’m starting to,” Thea repeated, “it’s in my name, after all. _With healing powers._ ”


	21. epilogue

Thea laid in a cold bed, staring at the empty side and willing herself to sleep. Nowadays, sleep wasn’t so easy for her to find. Her mind seemed to toss and turn, as well as her body. More times than not, she found herself curled up in bed with a hefty book rather than gaining a few precious hours of sleep.

And tonight, wasn’t much different, so she lifted her body from the mattress and padded across the flat. The carpet was cold against her toes, and she felt a chill creep up her spine, so she wrapped her arms around the expanse of her body.

The flat was silent. Something she hadn’t grown very used to yet. The home usually always consisted of Cayden’s sweet giggles and Harry’s heart-melting coos. She didn’t know what to do with herself now that those noises were gone. She felt almost empty without them. And as her body hovered in the entryway of Cayden’s empty bedroom, her heart ached with just much everything had changed.

Her mind flashed back to the first moment she met Cayden and Harry, and it seemed like a whole other lifetime ago. Perhaps it was. And a wave of nostalgia swept through her.

Her whole life. It all was so different.

Though she wasn’t granted much time to contemplate just how much before a pair of arms wrapped themselves around her waist, gently drawing her back to their front. A small smile curved her lips when she felt a nose lovingly nuzzle its way into the crook of her neck.

“What are you still doing up?” Harry’s voice was soft with care as his hand moved to cradle the barely protruding baby bump of Thea’s stomach. “The doctor said rest was a must.”

Thea hummed, leaning the back of her head onto his shoulder. Her hand covered his as she gently encouraged him to rub circular motions into her skin, looking down to see his wedding ring almost sparkle against her waist.

Her _husband_. She smiled at the thought.

“Well, I’ve found it’s quite hard to fall asleep without you or Cayden to cuddle with. So, here I am,” she said, before quickly adding, “Plus I _am_ a doctor. An attending, no less, and I say I’m fine.”

Harry’s chuckle vibrated against her skin.

“Did Cayden get dropped off okay? Medication and all?”

“He did,” he hummed softly. “Ran right into my mum’s house and barely looked back. I had to coax him into giving me a kiss goodnight. Not gonna lie, I was a little hurt.”

Thea turned around in Harry’s grasp. “Would it help if I kissed you goodnight?”

“I was hoping you’d do a little more than kiss, baby.” He smirked, pulling her tighter against him.

* * *

A hoarse yell woke her up around three in the morning, and her eyes fluttered open to see Harry asleep next to her completely unfazed, dozing away soundly.

As Thea rolled out of bed, the yells grew in tandem, and her feet moved at a quicker pace. Cayden was clutching his chest when she walked in, tears staining his cheeks as he looked up at her with wide eyes.

“Mummy,” he whimpered sadly. “Hurts, Mummy.”

The first-time Cayden called Thea mum, she locked herself in the bathroom and cried. The second time he called her that, she lost her breath. And the third time, well, the third time she thought she was going to explode with the sheer amount of joy she felt. Now as he looked up at her with sheer pain written across his face, Thea felt herself dart into mum-mode immediately.

“Hey,” she whispered softly, pushing down her panic. Chest pains were normal for Cayden’s condition, but sometimes it was hard to think like a doctor when her baby was in pain. “Deep breaths, baby. Remember that? You got to take deep breaths for Mummy.”

She climbed into his bed that was much too small for the both of them, and she pulled Cayden to her chest. His tears instantly dampened her shirt, his little hand clutching her baby bump. He did that often, clutching to Thea’s stomach, as if it was some sort of climbing mechanism, feeling his baby sibling.

Thea’s hand covered his, and she gently began rubbing it in circles on top of her stomach.

“Is there a baby in there?” she cooed as he wheezed out difficult breaths. “You ready to be a big brother?”

Three more deep breaths were taken before Cayden nodded, seeming to calm down. His hand stopped clutching his chest, breaths coming out easier. Contentment settled over his face, and he nuzzled closer to Thea.

“Baby,” he whispered as his hand traced her stomach, and Thea smiled.

Cayden was intelligent for his age. At five years old, he was already reading small chapter books. His vocabulary was rather advanced for his age, and he often said words like _perturbed_ and _exemplary_. And sometimes he used words Thea had never heard of, though she wouldn’t ever admit that.

But there was something about Cayden when he was tired that almost made him revert back in age. He always seemed a little younger when he was tired. His voice grew softer, sentences shorter.

“There is a baby in there,” she murmured, stroking his cheek. “You excited to meet your baby sibling?”

Cayden nodded, murmuring a tiny “mmm” before his breathing evened out, and he fell asleep on Thea’s chest, mumbling a quick, “love you, Mummy,” as he did.

Thea smiled, laying her head on top of his and falling asleep. As she did, she felt the bed jiggle, an arm slinking its way around her neck, and she knew Harry had joined them.

* * *

Cayden was the ring bearer in Mason and Liam’s wedding. And in typical Cayden-fashion, that meant the wedding was all about him.

“Did you see me, Dad?” he asked for the umpteenth time at the reception. Harry locked eyes with Thea, and they simultaneously shook their heads. “Did you see how I handed the ring to Uncle Liam? I did awesome, didn’t I?”

Harry chuckled, shaking his head again. “You did. Now, eat,” he said, pointing his fork at Cayden’s full plate.

Cayden acquiesced, shoving a forkful of mash potatoes into his mouth. “I should be the ring bearer for everyone’s wedding. Don’t you think so, Mum?” he suddenly declared, specks of potatoes flying from his mouth.

“Of course, baby.” She pressed a kiss to his forehead. “You’re the best there is.”

Cayden beamed, nodding his head in agreement. He promptly quieted, shoveling food into his mouth, seeming satisfied.

“I’m the bestest,” he declared, in a very Harry-fashion, once he swallowed his food. Then Cayden promptly stood up, grabbing Thea’s hand. “Come on, Mummy! Let’s show Daddy how to dance!”

And so, Thea let herself be led onto the dancefloor. She managed only two silly dance moves before Cayden insisted that wasn’t how dancing goes. So, she followed Cayden’s instructions from then on, giggling every time Cayden corrected her if she did it wrong. _Like this, Mum!_

And when she locked gazes with Harry, saw the intensely fond look in his eyes, she felt something warm bubble in her stomach. It was a feeling she was pretty use to.

* * *

Thea closed her eyes, exhaustion flowing through her body. Her heart was pounding against her chest, and there was a ringing sound in her ears. She felt sleep slowing creeping up on her when–

A sharp cry pierced the air, and Thea bolted upright, suddenly wide awake.

“It’s a girl,” the nurse spoke softly, cradling the small bundle in her arms. The baby was bundled in a hospital supplied blanket, cleaned to perfection.

“A girl,” Harry mumbled in awe. His hand was gripped tightly in Thea’s, and she barely registered his gentle squeeze.

The nurse stood next to Harry, smiling. “Would you like to hold her, Mamma?”

Thea nodded her head, words losing her. Gently, the nurse handed the baby to Thea. As soon as she was in Thea’s arms, her cries quieted, eyes lulling tiredly as she let out a yawn.

Something indescribable fell over Thea in that moment. She fell in love. Just like that. Just as she did with Cayden when she’d first laid eyes on him. She was in love.

“She’s beautiful,” she whispered, not meaning to speak out loud.

Harry nodded, and when Thea looked over at him, his eyes were glued on their daughter. “We made her,” he said, as if he didn’t believe it.

Then he pressed a kiss to Thea’s damp forehead, and… _God_ , she was so in love.

* * *

“I love her,” Cayden spoke as he looked down at his little sister in his arms.

Thea felt tears prick at her eyes, pressing a kiss to Cayden’s temple. He sat in her hospital bed, playing the role of big brother to a perfect note. Harry had gone to get Thea some tea, and so it was only the three of them in their perfect little bubble.

“I love you both,” Thea whispered as she leaned her forehead against his temple. Cayden’s smile made her entire body warm.

It was quiet for a moment. Cayden watched his sister, and Thea watched them both. She could almost feel herself lulling to sleep when Cayden suddenly looked at her and­­­­–

“Do you think she’ll look like me?” he asked quickly, as if the matter was pressing.

“If she knows what’s good for her, I think she will,” Thea replied. 

Cayden nodded, seeming satisfied. In that moment, the baby let out a rather big yawn, cuddling further into Cayden’s arms.

“I think she loves me, too, Mummy,” he said quietly, kissing her forehead.

Thea smiled, leaning her head against the top of Cayden’s. “I know she does, baby.”

* * *

“What’s her name?” Will asked as Thea held his niece in her arms. They sat together on Thea’s couch. They been discharged this morning, and Thea couldn’t express in words how nice it was to be home.

Thea smiled softly, turning to her brother. “Willow. Willow Grace Styles.”

Will’s eyes widened in understanding, and tears suddenly filled them. “After me?”

“Of course,” she said, “who else would I name her after?”

“Thank you,” he breathed, leaning forward to wrap his arm around Thea’s shoulder. He brought Thea into his side, leaning down to kiss Willow’s forehead.

“How are you and Nick?” she asked after a moment of silence.

She turned to see Will smile at the sound his boyfriend’s name. “We’re doing really well. I- I, uh, think I’m going to ask him to marry me soon.”

“Shut up!” Thea reared back from her brother, eyes wide. Her head whipped around to see Nick on the floor near the kitchen’s entryway, playing cars with Cayden. When she turned to look at Will again, he was watching the same scene, expression infinitely soft. “That’s amazing, Will. You two are so good together.”

Will smiled widely. “Thank you, big sis.”

Thea nodded, though before she could respond, Willow began to cry in her arms, and Harry was in front of her instantly.

“She’s probably hungry,” he said, smiling softly. “You rest, and I’ll use some of the breastmilk from the fridge.”

Thea smiled gratefully, handing Willow to Harry. “I love you,” she told him.

“I love you, too,” he replied immediately, kissing her forehead.

Thea watched him walk away with their daughter, a smile playing on her lips. She leaned her head against Will’s shoulder, hiking the blanket on her lap higher up.

They both were quiet for a moment, peaceful, and she reveled in it. Her relationship with her brother was the best it had been in years, and the thought almost brought tears to her eyes.

“Are you happy, Thea?” Will asked, after the silence passed, as he leaned his head against hers.

Thea’s eyes darted over to where Harry was now sitting. He had Willow cradled in his arms, feeding her a bottle. Cayden sat beside them both as he watched in almost fascination as his sister ate. Nick, her brother’s soon-to-be husband, sat at Cayden’s feet on the floor, and Cayden would look to him, giggling every time Harry or Willow did something he deemed funny.

Then Harry looked up, eyes catching Thea’s, and there was so much love evident in them that she felt her breath stutter. She knew her eyes were mirroring the same look.

The love.

Because she held so much love for him. An infinite amount.

“Yeah,” she whispered to her brother, “I am happy.”

Because well, she was.

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi to me on tumbr @harry-styleswho. tpwk xx


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